Being awakened as a queen indeed led me into a satisfactory life.
Only the first few days were truly perplexing, partly due to the lack of understanding of the title given to me, but mostly thanks to my feet being unable to transport me towards my desired destination no matter how hard I concentrated on moving them. My own body felt like a solid piece of marble shaped into what were my original aesthetics once, and even my heart was as heavy as the sedimentary rock, consisted of limestone that underwent heat, heat I felt in my throat whenever my work shift started again.

I eventually learned it was just a bone.

.

When I opened my eyes I almost went mad. In front of me there was a young woman, her eyes stabbing mine with a questioning stare. She looked a lot like what my body felt like, and if it wasn't for the shiny accessory in her hair I would have believed I was looking at myself from someone else's point of view.
Quickly, I bowed as low as I could, terrified of what might occur because of my behindhand tribute to her crown. When she bowed as well, with the same concerned grimace too, I knew I was right from the beginning.
I was royalty.

I accepted the thought of being a ruler in less than a second. I inherited the right to rule, of that I was sure.
I was ready for a kingdom, from the very beginning, I was prepared and willing.
I wanted the power, and I had it.
I could move any number of unimpeded squares, in any direction I desired.
Vertically, horizontally , diagonally.

But diagonals felt like runways and I desperately craved elegance, so my master usually let me have my fun.
 I chose the same path many times, my caprice overruling my senses.

Having a superior is difficult to get used to when the first thing you see is a mirror. My perspective was narrowed down to my own demands and requirements, but nevertheless, I had to obey.
Master was the only one who could make me dance, who could make me kill.
On the board I was matchless, but off of it, as powerless as a pawn.

Though I personally hated knights the most. The unsophisticated galloping always made me run after them first.

.

"Servat regina colorem!" they shouted.

One of the unfortunate pawns who was sacrificing his unessential life for my team that day thought me what it meant - ''queen on her own color''.

That was the way every chess game is supposed to start. The queens, tokens of their entire squad, walking up to the podium, their heads held high, their attitude exploding of narcissism.
They were supposed to find their square out of all sixty four, but it wasn't much work since those were in the middle of the first rank on each side.
I only then checked my dress' color. It was lace. And it was black.

''Queen on her own color.'' I let it echo in my head before I, as gracefully as I could, swayed to the black square.

I had no clue about what was supposed to happen.
This was a real life game where lives were at stake, and mine could evaporate before I even figure out the rules to this play.
 

 

.

 

Game after a game I became more and more knowledgeable.
I no longer cried after every single meal the white army made out of my own crew members, and I learned the steps each chessman is allowed to take.
Every single time we'd lose at least a half of our original number of pieces.
They were all human beings just like me, slightly altered to be able to endure such a life they were destined to live. But I was thought to refer to them as pieces, my master told me it's the right thing to do.  
''If you give them names'',  he said, ''with every lost battle, we will lose men.
If you treat them as just figures, group all of them as just game pieces, then that's all we're going to fall short of when we fail to succeed.''

He never ''fell short of'' the king and myself. In other words - my master never lost a game.

He let me watch the first ten battles. I stood on my specified position, listened to the rushed ticking of the two adjacent clocks and the hurry-scurry clicking of the buttons on each side whenever one of the players decided his thinking has led into a good decision.

 

Master always dressed me in black. I think it was his lucky color.
But the day when he first asked me to move is the day when it seems the darkest.
It wasn't just absence, it was a complete absorption of light.

I was enveloped in it.

 

.

 

Today is the day. Today is the day I will take someone's life.

I am not sure what happens to the pieces that are conquered. They are walked out of the hall and according to what I've heard, never seen again...

But us pieces, we aren't completely real.  If you'd stab us we won't bleed at all.
Knights could shoot you with bows, put a sword through your chest, swing a battle axe to your head, and you'd still breathe. But when they do, you'll have to leave the game.
Wounded or not, you are out.   

Yes, knights have many ways to end you. Masters who are keen on them invest in their weapons and armor to incomprehensible extents. I sometimes wonder why they do it when there's no actual fighting happening on the board. When they catch you, you are bound to surrender and accept the single assault, then leave.  
Then again, my own master buys me a new dress before the start of every game and I don't even actually participate.

I guess chess players care for aesthetics.

I was given no weapon, so when I asked about how I'm supposed to execute, I was told
''You're a queen.  Your word kills.''

.

''Queen! A-four!''  that was the first command.
Before I took a glance of the desired spot I breathed out slowly.
A-4 wasn't free. It wasn't just a lonely square.
On it, a young man was proudly standing, his back straight as an arrow and his eyes widely opened.

 His face looked like he was struggling to not make a scared expression, I wondered if that's how I looked too.
As I took the first step the poor pawn already fell to his knees.
It wasn't much of a surprise to me since I sadly witnessed many of my own pawns ungracefully surrendering to the white queen the same way.
His entire stature lost the pride he once held and his face was buried to the ground.

I was now right in front of him. Do I just stand here until they walk him out?
Am I supposed to say something? You fought well?? Good luck?
Sure, I was royalty, but it can't be that easy.
''Your word kills'' - I remembered.
 
''Stand up.'' I stated, trying to steady my weakly voiced order as much as I possibly could.

He looked surprised, and I could see that the rest of the unit was bewildered too.
Mechanically, he stood up.

It took me a while to figure out how I want to word it, but I was always a fan of simplicity.
''Self-destruct.'' I almost whispered.
His scowl let me know he heard it.

In his left hand he held a shield, but in his right there was a spear, a lance of some sort.
Before I even blinked  - the peak of it was already into his pearl white neck, he aimed for the throat.

No blood. No tears.

And so my word killed.

 

.

They told me I was incredible.
Girls who play the part of a queen are usually fragile, scared and muted. And even when they become experienced they try to look away when the guards come to get the defeated pieces.
No one ever took such an approach. No one ever ordered the opposing army before.
I was special.

My master became famous because of me.  He already had quite a reputation among the players for his splendid tactics, but now that he had a queen like me - who became widely known for her unusual way of conquering, he was unstoppable.
He told me that when I'm experienced enough, he will make me his wife. He will play as a king for his own army and we will make it into the highest level of competitors.
It all meant nothing to me. The humane part of me disappeared long ago and now that someone at least had use of me, I didn't even care about my legs being tied at night.
Before - there was life and there was game.
Now it's a juncture.

 

.

 

''Your highness!!'' someone shouted from behind.
One of the rooks who accompanied me for the last few battles without even being near to danger once was jumping around me happily with a small notebook. He kept flipping the pages nervously back and forth

''What is it?''
''I have a few ideas!!'' he announced.

I was not in the mood for this. Today was exactly a year from when I first started competing with our master and after 365 days every last cell of vibrance in me was murdered.

''I'm listening.'' I pretended to care.

Every other day someone would come with new creative ideas on how I should order our opponents to die. They all saw it as entertainment and wouldn't let me go with ''self-destruct'' as my only saying.

''But your highness! You can't leave just one quote behind!'' they'd say.

 

''So how about : Just quit life you waste of space!!''

I actually chuckled, for the first time in a while.

''At least think about it!'' he insisted

''Yes, I will think about it.'' I'd always say.

Now that I do think about it though, waste of space is almost a pun when it comes to chess.
I guess I should have used it.

Nothing changed for a long while. I saw pawn units consisting of women only, I saw entire armies of just girls. I witnessed a ''stalemate'' , a ''threefold repetition'' and the ''fifty-move rule''. *
I've seen different weapons and clothing styles, from medieval gear to futuristic gadgets,
 different tactics and different players.
But when you'd look at the big picture, nothing changed.
I danced along black tiles, approached powerless soldiers and ordered them to take their own lives in front of me. More than ''work'' it became just a routine.

And no one dared to tell me anything. I was the one they feared but also looked upon on. The one they'd tremble before and the one they wanted to be.
No one dared to tell me anything.

Until one day, someone did.

 

He raised the visor of his helmet up, his glare stung painfully and I felt a terrible vortex in my guts.

A lock of merrily vibrant orange hair was visible through the gap as well and the second I noticed it I knew he'd be the one to bring trouble to my faultless score.

 ''Dishonor.'' he muttered through his teeth and dramatically put the visor back down.

Yes, I hated knights the most.




..................................................................................................






* rules of chess that codify a draw  - stalemate (when the player to move has no legal move and is not in check)
                                                                - threefold repetition (when the same position occurs three times with the same player to move)
                                                                - fifty-move rule (when the last fifty successive moves made by both players contain no capture or pawn move)

+also, if you're confused you should look at :