Title: One for the Road
Author: milk_cookiesu
Genre/Pairing: Kyungsoo/Baekhyun
Word Count: 3,743
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: ““I'm bi and I’m dating Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun isn’t gay. That is why being to join an idol group with eleven handsome men didn’t bother him at all. Why would it? He’s pretty handsome himself, if he must say. He’s sure to gain lots of fans. He tells his friends about this and they awkwardly smile and give him the unreassuring answer of ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. Baekhyun considers it for a moment before nodding and giving them a smile.

(but honestly, he thinks it’s bull cause he is definitely beautiful)

Chanyeol confesses to him when he’s supposed to be asleep. He nudges him awake and Baekhyun could not get past the word ‘I’. Chanyeol had to repeat his confession ten times before Baekhyun could fully understand that yes, he is gay and that yes, he likes him that way.

“I don’t think I’m gay” is the only smart response Baekhyun could say at the moment. And he’s rather proud of himself considering he’s still sleepy and he’s rather confused. Chanyeol, being a happy virus, looks at the brighter side of his reply.

“That’s not a rejection.”

Chanyeol hides under his covers and holds Baekhyun in his arms. He squeezes him until Baekhyun agrees to try it out. Chanyeol grins so wide Baekhyun’s afraid his mouth will tear.

The next morning, Chanyeol blushes deep red as he asks Baekhyun for a morning kiss. Baekhyun thinks for a moment with his mouth agape and Chanyeol takes advantage of the situation. He presses his lips on Baekhyun’s. And honestly, it hurts and Baekhyun vaguely registers the irony taste of blood – he believes comes from Chanyeol’s lips after colliding with his teeth. Chanyeol opens his mouth to try and take the kiss to the next level but Baekhyun makes a face and pushes him away.

“That was terrible. Couldn’t you have brushed your teeth first?”

Chanyeol pouts in response before grinning and promising Baekhyun he’ll try better and he’ll make sure he’ll brush his teeth the next time. He then closes his eyes and tries to regain the sleep he lost last night just thinking of how to kiss Baekhyun. Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol before choosing to do the same.

Baekhyun wakes up – for the second time –to find Chanyeol staring guiltily at his pillow, trying to rub alcohol on a wet spot which Baekhyun suspects to be made from drool. He sighs and pats Chanyeol, giving him permission to drool on his bed anytime. Chanyeol offers him a dazzling smile Baekhyun never truly noticed before.

(bedazzled, Baekhyun makes a hypothesis that he is gay)

One day, he finds Chanyeol brushing his teeth and Baekhyun feels his heart flutter in anticipation as he remembers Chanyeol’s promise. And on the same day, he sees Taeyeon. Baekhyun feels his palms sweat. When they shook hands, Baekhyun does not swear but he thinks his heart almost burst.

(Baekhyun concludes that he may be bi)

Their manager calls them together and Baekhyun suspects it might not be good. Chanyeol holds his hand and squeezes it and then lets it go, just to squeeze it even tighter afterwards.

“Fans are speculating about your relationship. They think you aren’t in good terms.”

Baekhyun gapes in shock as he watches the accusing finger mocking him, just to follow it and find Kyungsoo being accused seconds later. He raises his eyebrows in disbelief but honestly, he doesn’t find it hard to believe.

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. They weren’t exactly chummies or best of friends. They were definitely not in the same level of intimacy like Baekyeol (of course). But they weren’t enemies or rivals like Tweety and Sylvester. They are members of the same group. They are friends.

He stares at Kyungsoo just when their manager says, “Work on it.”

He finds Chanyeol patting him on the shoulder and saying things like ‘I’m going to miss you’ and making kissy faces at him just for Suho to come and slap him on the back of the head.

Suho decides to stand in front and smile at them. He starts saying things about how they’ll have to announce more shamelessly the BaekSoo fandom but warning them to make it look natural and not so sudden. He starts listing skinship Baekhyun and Kyungsoo can do together for the first few days when Kyungsoo just bristles past him and towards the kitchen, saying he knows the basic. Baekhyun mocks their leader, not letting such a good chance to slip past his fingertips, before he heads towards his room. Everyone then starts leaving Suho standing there thinking where he’s gone wrong. Feeling pity, Kris pats him on the head.

“It’s just because they’re young.”

Suho glares at Kris. “Are you saying I’m old?”

That night, Baekhyun calls his mother and laughs as he tells her about his situation.  "I guess I'm not as likable as I thought I was."

(he cries seconds after he hangs up)

Thus, the BaekSoo fandom started shamelessly promoting public displays of affection. They started out standing close to each other. And soon enough, had more interactions – more obvious (but pretending to be subtle) skinship.  And as time passed, they started weaving stories out of lies. Everybody, fans, ate them all up. Baekhyun doesn't know whether he should laugh or cry.

It happened during one of their concerts.

Kyungsoo casually puts his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders when he sees it. It was a tiny one, written in neon colors. It drowned among dozens of other fansigns but Baekhyun saw it.

Baeksoo.

He squeezes one of Kyungsoo’s fingers and points to it. Kyungsoo squints and to Baekhyun’s surprise, offers him a smile so large and bright that Baekhyun believes that he was finally being offered something true. And with shock, Baekhyun actually feels his heart flutter.

After reaching home, Baekhyun pulls Chanyeol away and he slams him to the wall just to kiss him hard. Chanyeol widens his eyes in shock but is more than happy to oblige.

They end up , tangled in sheets, and covered in sweat. Chanyeol, asleep, holds Baekhyun close. However, Baekhyun lies wide awake, thinking how it did not work. And then surprised, he asks himself what the hell it was and what the hell it was supposed to do.

(but Baekhyun gets a vague idea as he dreams of smiles that are not Chanyeol’s)

Eventually, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo truly grew closer together in and out of the public’s eye.

"I just don't understand how you can cry while watching tennis."

Kyungsoo slaps him at the back of his head as he says, "It was a really emotional moment." Baekhyun mocks him even more when suddenly, Chanyeol plops down beside him. Baekhyun blushes deep red but Kyungsoo doesn't notice. Chanyeol suddenly hugs him and starts talking in a rapid manner. Baekhyun nods his head in between pauses while his eyes stay glued on Kyungsoo, who notices his stare and offers him a smile. Baekhyun's eyes widen a fraction more.

“Chanyeol, I'm –"

Baekhyun cuts himself off with a start before he says things he doesn't mean, things he doesn't know. He disentangles himself from Chanyeol's hold and heads for his room. Chanyeol shouts after him to ask what's wrong.

"I'm sorry," and he gestures to the room, saying he's tired. Chanyeol nods his head in understanding. But all Baekhyun could think of was how Chanyeol doesn't understand. Baekhyun shuts the door in guilt. He cries in frustration as he hears Chanyeol but sees Kyungsoo.

(Chanyeol, I'm scared)

“I'm bi and I’m dating Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun tests whether he could burn a hole in the table while Kyungsoo sits beside him, digesting his spoken words. Baekhyun counts the seconds that pass. When he belatedly remembers that twenty comes after nineteen, Kyungsoo finally speaks up.

“I know.”

To say that Baekhyun wasn’t shocked would be lying. “You knew?” Kyungsoo shrugs before slapping Baekhyun’s legs on the table. Baekhyun puts it down with an unconscious pout. Kyungsoo takes a sideway glance at Baekhyun before muttering, “Well, you and Chanyeol aren’t really the most discreet people around. The bi part was not something I expected though.”

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to say to that so he opts to just nod his head and stay quiet. Kyungsoo notices it and he sighs before holding one of Baekhyun’s hands. “Don’t worry. Only I know and I’m not one who exactly blabs about other people’s secrets. Unlike some people,” and Kyungsoo gives Baekhyun a knowing glance.

“It was just one time. And I didn’t know that you crying about tennis is a secret.”

Kyungsoo eyes him with anger before he clocks Baekhyun, painfully if I might add, on the head. They engage in a friendly banter until Baekhyun asks Kyungsoo how he feels about it. The moment he does, he wonders whether he said something he shouldn't when Kyungsoo punches his arm.

"Umm.. Okay?"

Baekhyun processes it for two whole minutes before Kyungsoo explains that he doesn't think much about it because he accepts Baekhyun as a person, gay or not. Baekhyun smiles at this and he leans in Kyungsoo's shoulders. "Does this make you feel uncomfortable?" Baekhyun teases him with a mischievous smile. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and knocks his head softly with Baekhyun's.

(baekhyun tries to convince himself his heart did not just beat faster)

It happens somewhere in the middle of September. Baekhyun’s reading some manga he stole from his brother’s stash when Chanyeol comes in, face laden with guilt and covered in tears.

Baekhyun doesn’t cry when Chanyeol gets down on his knees and begs for forgiveness. He doesn’t scream when Chanyeol suddenly starts to tell him that what they had wasn’t love at all. And most importantly, Baekhyun doesn’t hear his heart break when Chanyeol tells him he’s in love with somebody else. And instead, Baekhyun smiles. He smiles when he holds Chanyeol up with his trembling hands. He smiles when he says he knew something was wrong between both of them anyway. He smiles when he says it’s okay. He smiles when he sends Chanyeol away with a hug and reassurance that he won’t be locking him out of their room tonight. And Baekhyun smiles even when Chanyeol is gone.

Baekhyun only cries when he’s angry or wronged. So Baekhyun doesn’t cry. Instead he holds back his tears and laughs because, , his heart’s hurting too damn much. Baekhyun clutches his chest in pain and falls asleep that way.

(Mom, why is my heart hurting so much when he says it wasn’t even love?)

(Chanyeol stops holding him and starts holding Jongin)

“Did you have a fight with Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo suddenly asks him as he carries over the pot of ramyun to the table. Baekhyun doesn’t answer and opts to just slurp his way through the silence Kyungsoo gives him, just waiting for his reply. “I heard him when he begged our manager for less fanservice with you and more with Jongin.”

Baekhyun just gives a non-committal shrug before he slurps more noodles in a rather tactless manner.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I don’t really mind.” Baekhyun wants to snort at Kyungsoo’s obvious lie. Obviously, the man did mind. Baekhyun debates with himself on whether to tell Kyungsoo the truth or not. He stays in his bubble for a while until Kyungsoo tries to subtly fake a cough. Baekhyun doesn’t look up as he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“We broke up.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t speak. Baekhyun doesn’t expect him to.

Kyungsoo doesn’t say a word as he stands up to bring over cans of beer and bottles of soju. Baekhyun wants to tell him he doesn’t think it’s a good combination but he stays silent. Kyungsoo starts microwaving a few pieces of chicken Jongin bought to eat tomorrow morning. “I’m sure Jongin won’t mind… He’s not gay by the way… Just in case you’re wondering,” he says.

(he won’t end up with Chanyeol ) “He only likes what I like. s.” Baekhyun smiles as he understands what Kyungsoo’s trying to say even though they both know they were lies. He quietly laughs when he sees Kyungsoo avoid his eyes. He takes a sip of the soju to hide the smile that threatens to show as the thought ‘he cares’ runs endlessly through his head. Kyungsoo cares.

(ba-dump)

Baekhyun lies in bed one day when he’s suddenly hit with how, if not awkward, weird the situation he is in right now. He’s being friends with his ex-boyfriend’s current boyfriend’s bestfriend. Well, closest friend in the group (because duh Taemin) . But anyway, potayto-potahto. He tells Kyungsoo exactly this but Kyungsoo just waves his thoughts away while mumbling the word ‘details’ over and over.

“Look. I like you. I don’t think we should let this whole Chanyeol’s-an- issue get in the way of our friendship.”

Baekhyun lightly punches Kyungsoo in the arm before saying, “Stop lying and acting all cool and manly. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I’m not lying. And by the way, I am the epitome of manliness.”

ba-dump

“There’s a big difference between you being the epitome of manliness and you trying to be the epitome of manliness, just to fail time and time again.” Baekhyun leaves before Kyungsoo could enforce any physical injury on him. He shuts his door and feels his heart beat increase just like before as the words ‘I like you’ play in his head in loops.

Baekhyun smiles too hard when Chanyeol waves at him with an arm around Jongin. He feels his jaws hurt as he holds the smile in place and waves at them back. Kyungsoo suddenly comes and slaps him on the face before grinning when Baekhyun turns to him with a pout.

“You know, sometimes you look better when you cry rather than when you smile.”

Baekhyun acts like as if he doesn’t understand what Kyungsoo is saying when the man tries once again, “You don’t always have to smile. Smile because you want to, not because you have to,” Kyungsoo sighs before he places pieces of tissue unto Baekhyun’s palm.

He seeks out Kyungsoo in the middle of the night with the pieces of tissue. And for the first time since Baekhyun lost Chanyeol, he cries tears he never allowed himself to shed before.

Chanyeol cries to Baekhyun as he talks about how Jongin left him and got back together with Taemin. Baekhyun wants to push him away when he feels a mild pain in his chest but he reluctantly offers Chanyeol his shoulder and company until the latter falls asleep. He heads out for the kitchen and smiles when he sees Kyungsoo waiting for him with a bottle of beer.

“Chanyeol’s an idiot.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t say any more and Baekhyun doesn’t press him. Kyungsoo offers him the comfort of friendship and silence, Baekhyun didn’t know he needed until now. That night, Baekhyun finally stops fighting a battle he never realized he had until now. His surrender comes with a melancholic understanding.

(Kyungsoo won’t ever be there to catch me when I fall)

(Baekhyun falls)

(and falls)

(and falls)

(and falls)

(and falls)

(hard)

(for Kyungsoo)

Baekhyun pouts in pain as he receives another punch from Kyungsoo on the head. He begrudgingly cleans his room and glares at Kris who mocks him for being so weak and messy.

Kyungsoo punches him once again when he makes erted jokes to lighten up the mood.

Kyungsoo slaps him on the head when he starts being noisy.

Kyungsoo holds him in a headlock when he finds out Baekhyun’s slacking on his duties.

Kyungsoo hits him on the head when he starts misbehaving.

 “Are you a masochist? You’re always doing things that will get Kyungsoo to punish you. Seriously, Baekhyun. We’re going to go poor and bankrupt just from buying you these ice packs,” Yixing says in an overly-dramatic manner as he painfully places an ice pack on Baekhyun’s bruised head. Baekhyun just sticks out his tongue in response.

(Maybe he is a masochist. Years have passed and he’s still here, in love with Kyungsoo, isn’t he?)

When Kyungsoo’s parents set up a blind date for him, Baekhyun ends up being Kyungsoo’s crash test dummy for his date in the dorm. His I’m not a girl argument gets overruled by Kyungsoo’s you’re girly enough argument (and his fists). Kyungsoo acts like the clumsy and innocent gentleman and Baekhyun can’t help but laugh at how clumsy and innocent Kyungsoo looked.. Kyungsoo gets irked by his laughter and reasons that he can’t take Baekhyun seriously when he’s dressed like a man.

So cue in, Baekhyun dressed as a girl with make-up on. (nobody said love was easy)

Kyungsoo then starts feeding Baekhyun horrible pick-up lines such as ‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’ or ‘Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!’ And even worse, ‘Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.’

It took a couple of minutes for  Baekhyun to convince Kyungsoo that he was better without those horrible pick-up lines and hours before Kyungsoo was finally satisfied with his own performance. They slouch on the table, tired, when Baekhyun stands up to change and wash his face. Kyungsoo, who follows after him, wails as he dreads the upcoming date he’s going to have the next day.

“Why couldn’t you be a girl and be my date instead?”

Baekhyun clocks Kyungsoo in the head for being stupid and quickly leaves the man alone. He closes his bedroom door shut before he checks himself in the mirror. He turns around and looks at his reflection wistfully. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how his words hit Baekhyun too close to home.

(Maybe I could be sometimes I wish to be, for you)

(Kyungoo falls)

(and falls)

(and falls)

(and falls)

(and falls)

(hard)

(but not for Baekhyun)

(baekhyun tells himself he doesn’t mind but the tears that have dried on his pillow every night says otherwise)

“I’m getting married.”

Baekhyun would be lying if he says he isn’t surprised. He saw it coming but he didn’t want to believe it. Maybe as much as he convinced himself that he knew Kyungsoo would never love him back, a part of him hoped he would. Baekhyun cursed the very existence of this part. It’s the very reason why he’s here congratulating Kyungsoo with the loudest and most cheerful voice he could muster while every part of him just wanted to break down and crumple in pain.

“Are you sure about this?” Baekhyun curses the small hint of desperation in his voice for Kyungsoo to say otherwise. Kyungsoo doesn’t notice and nods. ”She loves all of me and I love her with every fiber of my being.” Baekhyun feels as if he’s about to cry but he forces himself to smile and claps Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Then I guess I can’t do anything but compete with Jongin against your brother for the position of best man.”

Kyungsoo smiles so wildly that Baekhyun tries to swallow the lumps of grief lodged in his throat. He excuses himself and says he’ll text the others to come home so Kyungsoo can personally tell them the good news.

“You’re crying.”

Baekhyun is startled to find himself not being able to hold back his tears. He struggles to wipe them away but the unguarded moment was enough to start the onslaught of tears. “I’m just really happy for you,” he croaks out the most obvious normal reason for such a reaction. Kyungsoo laughs and offers him tissues. Baekhyun hesitates before taking them.

Baekhyun finds himself with another broken heart to mend.

( Kyungsoo-ah, you broke my heart. Tissue won’t fix it.)

Baekhyun lounges outside the church and fixes his tie. He smiles as he watches his reflection when Kyungsoo coughs behind him.

“You’re just a guest. You’re not the one getting married so stop trying to look all handsome.”

Baekhyun just rolls his eyes at Kyungsoo’s dry jokes before they see Kyungsoo’s brother running towards them to announce that the wedding is starting. Kyungsoo grows visibly nervous and Baekhyun punches him in the arm to say everything will be just fine. Kyungsoo starts to run ahead of him when Baekhyun calls him.

“Yah! Kyungsoo!”

Kyungsoo turns to him with wide eyes. “What?”

“What would you do if-“ Baekhyun cuts himself off and shakes his head. He gestures for Kyungsoo to go ahead but Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows in question about what he was going to say. “It’s not important,” Baekhyun says and he smiles as he hears Kyungsoo curse at him before they head inside.

Baekhyun watches as Kyungsoo and his wife say their vows.

(Hey Kyungsoo. what would you do if I told you that a part of me loved you?)

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”