It was time for Operation Get To Know Hoya Better.

Dongwoo was going to think of a catchy acronym for it later, but for now he scribbled the six words down in his Hoya notepad and then sat back and bit on his lip in thought.

How did you normally get to know someone?

He thought back to every friendship he’d ever had. There had never seemed to be much to it; you met someone, you chatted with them, exchanged stories, laughed a bit and then there was a friendship. He jotted this down as well.

Well he’d already met Hoya and chatted with Hoya…well to Hoya. And he’d told stories. Not so much Hoya. He supposed it wasn’t really an exchange. But there was that one time Hoya might have smiled and then the one time that he definitely had.

Dongwoo sighed and put a little tick next to MEET HIM. It looked pretty pathetic. What he needed was for Hoya to chat to him and for Hoya to tell him stories. What he needed was for Hoya to do more than a might have smiled.

What he needed was for Hoya to think of him as a friend.

Dongwoo had hoped that the dancing would be enough to make them closer, and it had, but it wasn’t enough. Not if he could make Hoya throw up just by touching him. Not if Hoya’s contact list was so short that Dongwoo was worried he wasn’t chatting or laughing with anyone at all.

Maybe if they just did the things friends did, they’d naturally begin to act the way friends do? It was a thought. And maybe it was time for Dongwoo to become a bit more demanding.

He hesitated for just a moment and then picked up his phone and dialed the number.

“Yoboeseoyo?”

“What sort of stuff does Hoya like to do with his friends?” Dongwoo began, without preamble.

There was a pause. “Howon doesn’t have any friends.” It had been a few days but it seemed that Hoya’s brother hadn’t forgotten him.

“Fine.” Dongwoo spat. “So Hoya’s never had a friend?”

“He used to have friends…” The voice trailed off.

Dongwoo rolled his eyes. “Then what did they do?”

“He used to like to play in the park and make up stories. He liked treehouses. He was young.”

 And just like that the line went dead.

Dongwoo didn’t mind, at least he’d gotten something. The Park, he wrote and then thought about the things he did with his own friends. Movies. Friends watched movies together. And Gaming, that was fun too. Friends Ate Out and went to Amusement Parks and The Beach. He tapped his pen against his lips for a few seconds and then added Camping, Hiking, Karaoke and Shopping.

He smiled.

Once they were friends he knew he’d be able to make Hoya smile every day too.

****

“Movies?” Sunggyu asked, not looking convinced.

“Yeah, no offence, Dongwoo, but I don’t think that watching a few movies together in the dorm is going to somehow change Hoya into a new person.” Woohyun added, leaning back so that his chair balanced on two legs at a precarious angle.

Dongwoo shrugged. “I don’t want to change him into a new person. I just want us to be friends.”

Woohyun sighed and dropped his chair forward again. “Look, have you ever considered that maybe, to Hoya, you already are friends?”

Dongwoo blinked.

“I mean he’s comfortable around you, isn’t he?” Woohyun continued, “He lets you stay and dance with him, listens to you, even talks to you sometimes. Maybe this is as far as friendship goes for Hoya.” He paused for a moment. “What if you’re just pushing your idea of friendship onto him?”

Dongwoo had thought they had an understanding, but what if Woohyun was right? What if it was more than that? What if, to Hoya, they were friends?

“But he threw up when I touched him.” Dongwoo blurted out suddenly, and the other two looked surprised. He hadn’t told anyone that Hoya had thrown up. “He’d hurt himself and I tried to help him. He told me not to. He begged me not to.”

The silence in the room felt as though it was growing, filling the space, choking Dongwoo.

“Dongwoo…” Woohyun said, quietly, “Dongwoo, I don’t think that has anything to do with friendship. I think that…I think that’s something else entirely.”

“Did he hurt you?” Sunggyu asked suddenly and Woohyun shifted a little in his seat.

“No. No he didn’t.”

“OK.” Sunggyu trailed off and sighed. “You pick a movie, Dongwoo, and we’ll all watch it together tonight.”

And Dongwoo smiled.

It took Dongwoo a while to choose a movie. Finally he settled on The Fox and the Hound; it was a kid’s movie and the blurb said that it was about two best friends. Maybe it would help Hoya see how good it would be to have a friend like Dongwoo.

That evening, when they had finished group rehearsals, Sunggyu ordered everyone back to the dorm for a movie night. Dongwoo saw the way Hoya hesitated, but he’d never tried to argue with any one of them before and he didn’t now.

They were in high spirits as they seated themselves around the lounge room, pulling doonas and pillows from their bedrooms and flopping onto the floor and couch. Dongwoo felt a small thrill inside when Hoya sat down beside him on the floor and allowed Dongwoo to throw half of his blanket over him.

Somehow the fact that Hoya felt more comfortable sitting beside him than anyone else made Dongwoo want to hug the other boy.

Instead, he shushed the others and hit play.

Dongwoo found himself far too emotionally invested in the film before even the opening credits were over. If it had been any one else beside him he would have snuggled in closer and laid his head on their shoulder, just to feel a little comforted. But it was Hoya and Dongwoo didn’t want to touch him.

He glanced sideways carefully, but Hoya’s eyes were fixed impassively on the screen, watching as the baby fox’s mother did her best to protect her cub.

Dongwoo thought of Hoya’s own mother and quickly turned back towards the television.

They watched comfortably for a while, Sungyeol handing around popcorn and Sungjong laughing a little from Dongwoo’s other side as the little fox and hound played together.

“We’ll always be friends, forever, won’t we?”

There was a sudden movement from beside Dongwoo and he spun quickly to see Hoya standing and making his way out of the room. Dongwoo hastily threw his blanket to the side and followed.

The hallway was empty so he moved to Hoya’s room and knocked.

“Come in.” a voice called and Dongwoo swung the door open, entered, and closed it behind him once more with a soft click.

“Is everything ok?” He asked, watching as Hoya fished his ipod out of his bag and turned towards his bed.

“Yeah,” Hoya replied, climbing into bed and pulling his blankets over him. “I’m going to go to bed; get some rest for tomorrow.”

But you’re never in bed this early, Dongwoo wanted to say. Normally we’d have just started dancing right now.

“Do you…not like the movie?” Dongwoo asked instead.

Hoya looked up at him for a moment, blank faced, and then nodded. “I don’t like it.” He confirmed slowly.

“The mother fox,” Dongwoo began hesitantly, “she…she wanted to look after her son…because…well because…”

“All parents love their children.” Hoya said firmly, as though Dongwoo were the one who needed something explained to him, and there was a strange sort of sincerity in his voice. It left Dongwoo thinking that he’d never seen Hoya look quite so vulnerable as he did right then, not even the night he’d cried in the van.

There was something childlike about him; small and alone, lying in his blank white room with his plain blue blanket pulled right up to his chin…and not a scrap of purple in sight.

Not all parents, Dongwoo thought.

But perhaps that wasn’t why Hoya hadn’t liked the movie after all.

*

The next morning Dongwoo sat dejected in the van as they made their way to the studio. Hoya had been working out all morning, was wearing black and hadn’t spoken to Dongwoo once. It wasn’t at all what Dongwoo had been hoping for.

Sunggyu gave him a sympathetic look and squeezed his thigh briefly, as though hearing the defeated thoughts passing through Dongwoo’s head where he sat, in the seat beside him.

When they separated for individual singing practice, Dongwoo found himself drifting away from his little sound-proof room after only twenty minutes and wandering the maze of halls instead. He supposed he was hoping to find Hoya, though how he would recognise his voice through sound-blocked walls was still a mystery to him.

He dug his phone out of his pocket and typed a quick text with a sigh.

What movies does Hoya like?

He waited a few minutes, but there was no reply.

Suddenly Dongwoo felt a surge of anger searing through him. He hated Hoya’s brother and he hated Hoya’s mother. He hated the stupid vixen who had left her baby alone to face the world without her and he hated the dumb puppy who had broken all of his promises.

He hated the way Hoya danced as though it was the only thing he could still trust. He hated the way Hoya didn’t even look up when someone’s text message tone went off in the practice rooms.  He hated the fact that Hoya had never even spoken to him informally.

He hated his Company for stealing Hoya’s name and voice.

He hated his band for not trying harder.

And most of all he hated himself.

Just as he was about to swing around and storm back the way he had come, Dongwoo’s eyes landed on a pair of sneaker-clad feet. Black sneakers.

Hoya blinked at him, leaning back against the corridor wall beside the open door of a small practice room. “Will you listen to me?” He asked, as though he had just been waiting patiently for Dongwoo to turn the corner this entire time.

“Yes.” Dongwoo said abruptly, his veins still pulsing with angry heat. He wanted to be close to Hoya, he wanted to spend time with Hoya. Right now he kind of wanted to kiss Hoya. But he didn’t. He followed Hoya into the room and sat down on a small stool instead.

Hoya’s voice was raw. Not exactly perfect. Not exactly beautiful. But raw and melodic and full of honesty. An honesty that Dongwoo was scared he might never hear outside of song when it came to Hoya. He just wanted Hoya to talk to him.

“Why did you want me to listen?” He asked, when Hoya was done and had sat down on the floor by the wall farthest from him.

“Sometimes,” Hoya said, his hands pale where they sat against his black-clad knees, “I just need to know someone’s listening.”

“I’m always listening.” Dongwoo returned, feeling strangely calm again. “But sometimes I just can’t hear anything.”

“Sometimes…there’s nothing there to hear.”

There was silence for a while, but Dongwoo, looking right at Hoya, swore he could almost hear the whispers of all the words Hoya carried with him in his silence.

“Why are you wearing black?” He asked.

Hoya’s lips almost smiled. “It’s my favourite colour.”

Dongwoo thought of Hoya’s purple ear phones. He thought of his purple phone case. Purple pen. Purple wallet. All hidden away in a suitcase under his bed.

“What’s your least favourite?” But he knew the answer already.

“Purple.” Hoya said, without hesitation.

Dongwoo nodded. “Why?” It wasn’t important, but at the same time is was.

“Because boys don’t like purple.” Hoya answered, and Dongwoo finally looked away from him. “Girls like purple…and faggots like purple.” Hoya’s voice almost trailed away, but not quite. “But not boys...”

Dongwoo hated Hoya’s brothers and he hated Hoya’s mother and he hated Hoya’s father.

And he hated the colour purple.