So Sweet, So Simple: Though I Call
Special Chapter[s]
[Sora's POV]
"Done," I mutter to myself.
I just closed down my official website. I have unactivated my account on twitter as well. I have bought new phone with new number at Paris too. I've done a lot, as if I will live a brand new life.
In fact, I am living a brand new life.
No photography. No clients. No BEAST.
It's been a week since I left Seoul. I stay in an apartment, rented by my father as his proof of supporting me. I've met my mother's team for the research project right on the day I arrived at Paris.
They were really surprised when they saw me at first, but I think they get along with me now after a week; thanks to myself that I've learnt English well enough to communicate with them since the team has more than two nationalities citizenz.
I open the browser and browse over the internet, typing "BEAST" as the keyword and find new articles about them. I click one by one link and read them over.
They will held a family concert, United Cube Concert.
They will release new Japanese Album on August 10th.
My eyes stop when I read the third title: Sora left BEAST.
This is the sixth article I read about my leaving from Seoul. They have created more and more assumptions behind my departure from Seoul. One said that I had scandal with one of the members while another said that BEAST is angry with me because I walked pass their private lives.
And the negative assumptions keep going on.
I sigh, not bothering to comment about the article. I've tried my best to contact Mina via my sister, telling her about every detail I can to help her with her works with BEAST.
I make sure that my sister will never tell BEAST and Mina about how to contact me.
It hurts to say goodbye.
[Gikwang's POV]
"So, what will we sing for tonight's radio interview?" Doojoon asks, giving me the script of the interview.
"No Fiction?" Junhyung gives an idea, leaning to the sofa.
"I think we need to sing another title to promote the album," Doojoon answers. "What about You?"
"Well," Dongwoon takes a glance of Mina, "What do you think, Mina ah?"
"Me?" Mina is surprised by the sudden question. She puts down her camera on the table and tilts her head in a cute way, "You is a sweet song."
I smile as my respond of her answer, trying to be polite.
Mina is a good girl. She works hard even though she is an amateur. It has been a week since she started as our personal photographer, since Sora left us, since we lost contact with Sora.
Is she doing alright there?
Does she take care of herself there?
"What do you think, Yoseob ah?" Doojoon asks Yoseob, who is not focusing to the discussion at all.
"Any song will do," he answers without any passion.
Doojoon and Hyunseung exchange looks. I know why they do that; Yoseob has been acting really strange lately. I know his reason as well.
Well, I know what he feels, to be exact.
It really hurts when someone you love leave suddenly, without giving any explanation by herself. I know, at least she left letters to us, but it's not enough. It will never be enough.
I want to see her. I miss her.
I'm sure Yoseob feels the same. Or maybe even more. I don't know.
"Let's sing Though I Call," I speak, breaking the silence.
"Eh?" Dongwoon turns to me. "But we never sang that song before for live performance."
"That's why I choose the song," I smile. "Let's sing it tonight."
Doojoon nods slowly, giving his agreement of the idea. I look at the others and they give me their agreements too, except Yoseob.
We go back to our own activities, telling each other to meet up here again in two hours to go to the radio interview.
I stand up from my seat and sit next to Yoseob. He is busy with his phone and I can see that he is opening the twitter, just to find that Sora has unactivated her twitter account.
"Hey," I mumble but he doesn't look up to me.
"I will ask one of the staff to record our performance," I say, not bothering to wait for his attention to me. "I will upload it on our fan site."
"What for?" he responds lazily.
"Because maybe, just maybe," I answer, "Sora will watch our performance."
[Yoseob's POV]
I take the headphone and wear it; waiting for the song to start. I take a glance at Gikwang and he flashes a smile to me. I look around and find a staff is standing near the door, ready to record our performance with a handycam.
Is he serious?
I know the other members are worrying about me, because of my passive attitude these days.
Yes, Sora is the reason.
I'm still blaming myself because I didn't notice that she would leave us like that. Gikwang said that none of us noticed it because Sora has been so quiet. But I can't accept it.
I should have known it when she asked us to go to the amusement park with her. It's a sign. But I didn't.
I miss her but how could she let me drown into the empty feeling without her like this?
Sohyun refused to tell me anything about her. Not a single thing. Sohyun apologized to me, telling me that Sora has made her to promise, to never tell us about her where about.
Why? Why does she want to hide her existence from us?
My heart aches when I remember her letter.
While I am deep with my thought, Junhyung has started his part as the opening of the song,
"I already know what you gonna say
I wanna keep it away
I don't ever wanna let you go ah ah"
[Gikwang's POV]
We never sang Though I Call for live performance. Not even once. I chose this song because I think this song is really fitting for my feeling now. And maybe Yoseob's feeling too.
I look at the handycam and sing my part, hoping Sora will watch this video,
"Amumal hajima dwiro dora seojima
Niga museun mal halji naneun anikka
Gogaereul sugigo neon sigyeman barabwa
Gaseumi meyeowa"
Don’t say a thing, don’t turn back
I already know what you are going to say
With my head down I keep looking at my watch
My heart is clenching
Doojoon steps closer to the microphone and sings his lines,
"Mari eomneun neol chyeodabomyeon
Buranhaeseo gyeondil su eobseo
Jakkuman ni ireumeul bulleobojiman
Daedabi eomneun neo"
If I look at you without any words
I can’t stand it because I’m so nervous
I keep calling your name
But you don’t answer
I look at Yoseob; it's his part now with Hyunseung. He is doing his best when it comes to public but he is being really quiet when we're at our apartment. I'm worrying about him, putting aside the fact that he is my rival for love.
"Why why why
Jureoganeun tonghwawa malgwa
Mannamgwa uri sigandeul
Never cry
Ireoke bonaelsun eobseo"
(Why why why)
The conversations and words,
our meetings and our times keeps getting shorter
(Never cry)
I can’t send you away like this
Sora, we can't send you away. I can't.
I clench my fists when I hear Yoseob sings the refrain part,
"Ojik neon ma girl, girl, tell me baby
You're ma girl, girl, baby babe
Tteonagajima neol irko sipji anha
Naegen neo hana ppunya"
Only you ma girl, girl, tell me baby
You’re ma girl, girl, baby babe
Don’t leave, I don’t want to forget you
I only have you
Yoseob is closing his eyes, singing with all his heart while Hyunseung is singing like his usual self. I know Yoseob is thinking of Sora now.
"I'm still loving you, you, oh ma baby
Only you, you, baby babe
Moreuncheokhajima ireon nae sarangeul
Neon modu aljanha"
I’m still loving you, you, oh ma baby
Only you, you, baby babe
Don’t pretend like you don’t know my love
You know everything
I wonder. Does Sora think that we will forget her if she left us like this?
The answer is no, Sora. Never.
[Yoseob's POV]
I open my eyes slowly while Dongwoon sings his lines,
"Bye bye bye bye bye
Ni mareun lie lie lie lie lie
Nae nuneun cry cry cry cry cry tonight"
Bye bye bye bye bye
Your words are a lie lie lie lie lie
My eyes cry cry cry cry cry tonight
I look at the handycam, giving a sad expression. The lyrics are really suitable with my feeling now.
Junhyung raps his part perfectly,
"Ok I already know but
Oraedoen ose bopuri saenggideut
Manheun siganeul nanun urisarangdo
Jeon gatji motago jamsi
Ppigeokdaeneungeot ppuniya
Neo tto ibyeoreul malhago naseo
Bunmyeong huhoehal ge ppeonhae
Ni mame damgo inneun mal sakhil
Siganeul naega chungbunhi julge"
Ok, I already know but,
Like how old clothes get the warn out spots,
Our love shared a lot of times
Unlike the beginning,
It’s just pausing for a while
After speaking of farewell,
I know for sure that you will definitely regret it
I will give you plenty of time for you
To swallow the words you are holding in your heart
Sora, do you regret that you left us?
I sing the next part with Hyunseung again,
"Why why why
Saranghanda malhaenoko neon
Geuri swipge doraseoni
I don't cry
Ireoke kkeutnaelsun eobseo"
(Why why why)
After saying that you love me,
How can you turn away so easily?
(I don’t cry)
I can’t end it like this
My last tear was the tear when I read her letter. I don't want to cry now. But it's true that I am mad at her; she hasn't gave me any answer.
Do you love me, Sora ah?
"Ojik neon ma girl, girl, tell me baby
You're ma girl, girl, baby babe
Tteonagajima neol irko sipji anha
Naegen neo hana ppunya"
Only you ma girl, girl, tell me baby
You’re ma girl, girl, baby babe
Don’t leave, I don’t want to forget you
I only have you
I look straight to the handycam, trying to give the sign of my love to Sora with this song, hoping that she will realize that I don't want to forget her, that I only have her as the one I love.
"I'm still loving you, you, oh ma baby
Only you, you, baby babe
Moreuncheokhajima ireon nae sarangeul
Neon modu aljanha"
I’m still loving you, you, oh ma baby
Only you, you, baby babe
Don’t pretend like you don’t know my love
You know everything
No matter how far she is, I still love her till this moment. Only her.
And I know she knows that I love her.
[Sora's POV]
I was thinking about staying permanently at Paris so I can take care of my mother when I find a link posted by one of B2UTIES on a fan cafe.
It is a video of BEAST's radio interview tonight. It was uploaded an hour ago. I quickly open the link and watch the video, listening to their song and I realize that it's one of the song from their new album.
The video shows six of them, standing with headphones and singing the sad yet beautiful song.
Strange enough, I find out that Gikwang and Yoseob are the only members who noticed about the recording camera.
It's Junhyung's part now,
"Naega dallajilkke
Mwodeun da joheunikka malmanhae
Uri munjereul puneun
Dabeun jeoldae ibyeori anigeodeun
Neowa nae sarangi chuun gyeoul
Gasicheoreom eoreosseodo naega
Dasi nogyeobolge
Neon neon geunyang jigeumcheoreom
Nae son nochi anheumyeon dwae"
I will change,
Anything works so
Just tell me what to change
The answer to our problems is never farewell
If the love between you and
I froze like a thorn in the cold winter,
I’ll try to melt it again
You, you, just like now,
Just don’t let go of my hands
I feel my heart skips a beat.
Did I do a mistake by having a farewell with them?
It's the last refrain and it's Yoseob's part. He looks directly to the recording camera, having a really sad expression that makes my heart sinks immediately,
"Ojik neon ma girl, girl, tell me baby
You're ma girl, girl, baby babe
Tteonagajima neol irko sipji anha
Naegen neo hana ppunya"
Only you ma girl, girl, tell me baby
You’re ma girl, girl, baby babe
Don’t leave, I don’t want to forget you
I only have you
It's just lyrics, but why do I feel that my heart is aching? Just listening to his voice, looking at Gikwang's expression, my heart feels hurt.
"I'm still loving you, you, oh ma baby
Only you, you, baby babe
Moreuncheokhajima ireon nae sarangeul
Neon modu aljanha"
I’m still loving you, you, oh ma baby
Only you, you, baby babe
Don’t pretend like you don’t know my love
You know everything
As if they are trying to say something with this song. But who is the recipient of the message?
Can I be bold enough to say that it's me?
"Bye bye bye bye bye
Ni mareun lie lie lie lie lie
Nae nuneun cry cry cry cry tonight
Bye bye bye bye bye
Nni mareun lie lie lie lie lie
Nae nuneun cry cry cry cry tonight"
Bye bye bye bye bye
Your words are a lie lie lie lie lie
My eyes cry cry cry cry cry tonight
Bye bye bye bye bye
Your words are a lie lie lie lie lie
My eyes cry cry cry cry cry tonight
Before I could control myself, a single tear has escaped, rolling down on my cheek.
Yoseob sings the last line beautifully yet really sad,
"Never say good bye"
Suddenly I realize and I'm sure enough...
I miss BEAST.
I miss Gikwang's sweet and sincere smile.
I miss Yoseob's simple and caring gesture.
I want to be there with them again.
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