“No. Absolutely not.”

“Kiseop hyung, it won’t be as bad as you’re thinking. It might be scary at first but after a while I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

“No. I won’t be able to take it. I will have a heart attack and die.”

“But hyung-”

Kiseop made a sudden break for it away from the rollercoaster, zig-zagging through the holiday crowd in order to lose Kevin and win himself the right to keep his feet firmly and safely on the ground. His long legs were all for nothing, though, since Kevin easily caught him just beyond the Viking ship ride. 

“Hyung! The only thing we’ve ridden on the entire day is the baby bumpercars, which were so slow it felt like a gentle float through a cloud which may I inform you is not the desired effect of bumpercars. Will you man up and stop being so scared of everything?”

“I can’t help it!” Kiseop wailed, his breath billowing in little puffs in the cold December air. “And it’s a bit much, you asking me to man up.”

“I kill you,” Kevin said without rancour, punching him neatly in the arm. He linked fingers with a dejected Kiseop, their puffy coats making them look like disproportionate Michelin men. “Hyung, this is a problem.”

“I am aware of that,” Kiseop grumbled as Kevin dragged him slowly but surely towards the Viking ride. The crisp air had reddened their cheeks, making Kevin look particularly adorable (in Kiseop’s humble opinion). A few girls nearby were tittering at them, their adoring sighs of ‘so handsome!’ making Kiseop go even redder. 

“Hyung, focus. You’re afraid of dogs.”

“..Yes.”

“You’re afraid of thunder.”

“Yes.”

“You’re afraid of heights.”

“Well, actually it’s more like depths that I’m afraid of-”

“You’re afraid of speed.”

“Honestly, it’s really very dangerous to drive fast.”

“You’re afraid of sparrows.”

“They’re more vicious than you think,” Kiseop pouted, mumbling into his scarf and refusing to look at Kevin.

“There are tiny children on that Viking ship, hyung! Look! If they can do it, so can you!”

Kiseop glared at them. “Children nowadays,” he muttered darkly. Kevin paid for their tickets to Kiseop’s urgent and increasingly frantic protests, and had to practically push him onto the ship. “No more arguing! You’ll see, it’s really not that bad.”

“’Not that bad’, he says,” Kiseop complained, as he took his seat. “You always say that, and then I spend the next half an hour of my life in abject terror. You’re a bad influence, Kevin WoooooooaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

**

Kevin rolled his eyes exasperatedly as he paid the driver, and chivvied Kiseop out of the taxi. Kiseop closed the door carefully, unwilling to be out in the cold once more, and sighed as he turned back to face another round of Kevin’s well-meaning nagging.  

“BOO!”

Kiseop stared at Kevin, who was doing, as far as Kiseop was concerned, his best impression of a scraggly leafless tree; he had flung his arms out and was wiggling his fingers, eyes a-google and waiting for a reaction. When none seemed to be forthcoming, Kevin huffed and dropped his arms. “You’re afraid of sparrows but you’re not afraid of me?”

“You?” Kiseop laughed, walking up their street. “You’ll find a picture of yourself in the dictionary next to the definition of the word ‘harmless’.”

“I’m not! I’m manly and dangerous!” 

They looked at each other, and simultaneously burst into giggles. “Well, whatever it is, you really must stop being afraid of so many things, my dear hyungie, I’m telling you, it’s not-” 

Kiseop ran away from Kevin for the second time that day, and they fetched up laughing and happy at the foot of the short flight of stairs up to their dorm house. Kevin dug mumbling in his bag for his keys, but Kiseop’s attention was instantly fixed on something small lying in a basket at their door once they’d gained the top step.  

“Kevin?”

“Where are my keys? I swear, I heard them jingling in my bag as we were running just now-”

“Kevin.”

“Yes, yes, I know, I want to get in soon too but argh I always forget where I put them-”

“Kevin!”

Kevin looked up, and followed Kiseop’s stare to the basket that he hasn’t noticed. 

A little fat hand was waving from within the swathe of blankets in the basket. 

“Am I allowed to be afraid of that, Kevin?”

**

“It’s a baby.” Soohyun said, shock driving all other emotion out of his voice. “You found a baby. On our doorstep. A girl baby. Why did you find a girl baby?”

“Would you have preferred us to find a boy baby?” Kevin answered crossly, the three of them cautiously circling the table where they’d put the basket. The baby inside was becoming fretful, kicking its little feet free of the blankets and raising its arms. 

“I think it wants to be picked up,” Kiseop said, haltingly, and Soohyun immediately turned to Kevin. 

“Well? What are you waiting for?”

“Me? Why me?”

“You found it!”

“Kiseop saw it first!” Kevin looked at Kiseop, who backed away fast. “You must be joking.”

Soohyun sat down heavily and buried his face in his hands. “Why are you doing this to me? Who would leave a baby with us?”

Kevin approached the basket and stared down at the baby’s little round face. Somebody had dressed her well – socks, mittens, warm pants and long-sleeved baby shirt, and then wrapped her tightly in a fleece and then blankets. “I wonder where her parents are,” Kevin said sadly. He picked her up carefully, and Soohyun and Kiseop edged closer. 

“She’s so perfect,” Kiseop breathed, gently inserting a fingers into one of her curled-up fists. “Aigoo, you’re so pretty.”

**

Twenty minutes later, Kiseop was on the floor in a state of biological shock. The baby’s cries ricocheted off the walls and entered his brain at a frequency meant to shut down the adult human nervous system. Kevin was frantically pacing the dorm, trying to calm the yelling infant with everything he could think of, and Soohyun was ransacking the fridge. He surfaced, looking frazzled, and offered his findings to Kevin.

“Muesli? Condensed milk? Peaches?”

“Hyung! She’s a baby, she needs baby milk!”

“I’ll go out and buy some.” Soohyun dashed to the door, grabbing his coat on the way. He opened the door to no other than Eli and AJ, fists raised in mid-knock, and roughly pushed past them. 

“Where is Soohyun hyung going in such a hurry oh my god that’s a baby,” AJ said in one breath, taking in Kevin’s desperate baby-jiggling and Kiseop in a critical state on the floor. 

“He’s gone to buy milk for her, she won’t stop crying,” Kevin said, taking deep calming breaths. “Kiseop hyung is… taking a break.”

“Excuse me if this is a stupid question, but exactly why have we acquired a baby?” AJ asked cautiously as Eli went to prod Kiseop and check on his vital signs. 

“Someone left her on the doorstep. Can you believe that? In this cold?”

“Someone left her on the doorstep.. in this cold.. for us to look after?” Eli grunted incredulously, having managed to push Kiseop into a sitting position. “Dongho is bad enough!”

“We have to find her parents,” AJ frowned, his head starting to ring a little from the baby’s cries. “How long has she been crying like that?”

“Almost ten minutes, and what good will finding her parents do? They’re the ones who gave her away,” Kevin answered despairingly. Eli gave up on Kiseop and held his arms out to Kevin, who gladly passed the baby carefully over and wrung out his tired arms. “How can a baby that small weigh so much?” 

Eli cooed at the little girl, who ignored him and carried on yelling. “Soohyun hyung better get back soon, that’s all I’m going to say.”

Like magic, the door to their dorm opened on cue. “Moonsung hyung!” Kevin wailed. Instead of Soohyun, their manager entered, looking puzzled at the sound of a baby crying. However, when he saw Eli and the yelling bundle in his arms he shut the door firmly and purposefully. 

“You! I always knew it was going to be you to do something like this. Who is the poor girl? Does the press know? What state is her family in? Does your family know?”

“My family?” Eli replied, bewildered. “N-no, of course they don’t know, and we don’t know who the girl is either-”

“What! You terrible child! How many girls can you possibly have had that you don’t know who the mother is!”

“Hyung!” Eli cried, scandalized. “This is not mine!” Kiseop started laughing in his corner despite himself, little traumatized giggles.

“Hyung, Kevin and Kiseop hyung found her on the doorstep! Soohyun hyung has gone out to get milk for her.” AJ quickly stepped in, batting away a rapidly reddening Eli.

“Hmm. Well, let that be a lesson to you,” Moonsung said. “Okay. Okay. We just need to calm down.” 

“Everybody was calm before you started flinging crazy accusations around,” Eli muttered, rocking the baby slowly. “Moonsung oppa is a mean oppa, isn’t he? Yes, he is.”

Soohyun came back about ten minutes later, obscured by the mountain of bags he was carrying. He’d bought milk and diapers, as well as a bottle and various assorted baby soaps and clothes. Apparently he would’ve been back sooner, he said, still panting, but for essential considerations like the difference between apple and banan-scented shampoo. Moonsung had made her milk, as the only experienced baby-feeder in the dorm, and once the baby had drunk her fill and stopped bringing down the roof with her cries Kiseop regained his sanity and motor functions.

They were crowded around Kevin who was holding her, having somehow been unanimously voted Mother #1, ‘aigoos’ and ‘ohjujujujus’ emanating at intervals.

“We’ll call an orphanage, simple,” Moonsung said as Kevin was deep in discussion with Kiseop about changing her diaper. The whole room froze. 

“An orphanage, hyung?” Kiseop said uncertainly, pausing in his of the baby’s soft cheeks. Moonsung looked round the room at the varying degrees of accusing and shocked expressions and threw up his hands. “Fine, not an orphanage, then. What are we supposed to do with her?”

**

Dongho opened the door, Hoon close behind, to find AJ, Kevin, Eli, Soohyun, Kiseop and Moonsung hyung crowded together on the sofa watching the baby sleep, held on a delighted Soohyun’s lap.  

“…This is a joke, isn’t it?” Dongho said, folding his arms.

“Shh!”

Dongho and Hoon tiptoed towards them after shrugging off their outerwear, Dongho feeling strangely put-out. “What is that and where did it come from?”

“Shh!”

Dongho hmphed and turned to drag Hoon off into the kitchen, only to find that he had sandwiched himself in between Kevin and Soohyun and was watching the baby as well, just as enthralled as the rest of them. 

“Excuse me, am I the only sane person here?” Dongho asked. “Yes, I am,” he answered himself, when no reply from his hyungs was forthcoming. Kiseop made a vague flapping motion at him.

“Just remember who the real maknae is, alright?” He declared, and stomped off to the bathroom.

**

Kevin turned over for the hundredth time that night, and finally gave up on trying to sleep. The baby was in the other room with Kiseop, Eli and Soohyun despite the fact that he was Mother #1. By unspoken agreement, everyone had gone to bed early that night simply because the baby had gone to sleep, and the easiest way not to make any noise that might accidentally wake her up was to be asleep themselves. (Dongho had had to be threatened.) Not that it had been easy to fall asleep – Kevin couldn’t stop worrying. Whose baby was this? Why had she been given away? How were they going to find her a home?

He got out of bed quietly in order not to wake AJ and Hoon, and tiptoed out of the room. He cringed at the creak in Soohyun hyung’s bedroom door, but there was no movement in the darkness within and so he reckoned he was okay. A step into the room and a tall, thin silhouette outlined against the window greeted him to his surprise – Kiseop was holding the sleeping baby carefully and whispering quietly to her, unaware of his silent guest. 

“-when you grow up you should go to school all the way up till university unlike oppa, Gyeoul. Oppa was going to, but then oppa also wanted to be an idol singer. Don’t be an idol, Gyeoul, no matter how beautiful and talented you grow up to be. It is too painful and oppa doesn’t want to see you struggle.”

Kiseop stopped to nuzzle her lightly with his nose. “You must promise not to forget your oppas here. We are trying to find you a good home where your new parents will love you and never give you away again, Gyeoul-ah. You are so small and it is lucky you won’t remember this.”

He put her down carefully back into her basket, where she meeped softly in her sleep. Kevin waited till Kiseop turned around to get back into bed before punching him in the arm. 

“You are so creepy, hyung,” he said, while Kiseop had a mini heart attack. “You are also incredibly-”

“Incredibly what?” Kiseop asked, wheezing slightly, having not gotten over his shock. 

Kevin bear hugged him forcefully there in the dark, holding him tightly. “Incredibly sweet,” he muttered into the shoulder of Kiseop’s thin pajama top that smelled so completely and wholly of Kiseop. “You’ve named her Gyeoul?” Kiseop smiled and raised his arms, settling them comfortably around Kevin. 

“She’s our winter baby.”

“Cut it out already, it’s three in the morning,” Eli sleep-grumbled, and turned over. 

**

Of course, the baby started crying an hour later.

**

And again four hours after that.

**

“This menace must go,” Dongho muttered over his bowl, eyes red-rimmed. “I say we hold an auction.”

AJ gave him a tired, but solid thwack on the head with the cereal box. “Who’s next on diaper duty?”

Eli came brisk-walking into the kitchen ahead of Hoon, who had a medical mask and rubber dishwashing gloves on and was towing a dirty diaper with metal tongs. “It is definitely not me,” he announced, shaking his head emphatically. “It’s chemical warfare in there.”

“And I am done,” Hoon said, divesting himself of his protective gear. “I never thought a baby would be such hard work. She just eats and poops!”

“We’ve had her for hardly two days!” Kiseop protested, feeling strangely protective. “She can’t help it, she can’t do anything for herself.”

“Why don’t you adopt her then, hyung?” Dongho snapped, which earned him another harder thwack on the head.

“Doesn’t anybody care about her?” Kiseop stood up, in a rare upset. “She’s been abandoned and all you can complain about is that she’s noisy and she poops a lot?”

Dongho thankfully had the grace to look grudgingly ashamed at this, and Hoon reached out to rub Kiseop’s arm soothingly. “We didn’t mean it that way, we’re sorry.”

“What if she turns out to be Jesus? He needed a home at Christmastime, too!”

Kevin took that moment to appear in the doorway, beaming, the baby dressed in a fat bumblebee costume complete with antennae and chewing on her little round fists. “Look at what crazy Soohyun hyung bought her yesterday! Isn’t she the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?”
 
“Jesus, huh?” AJ said, trying hard not to laugh at the thought of the baby Christian god in a bumblebee costume as the rest descended into guffaws around him. “We get it, Kiseop. We get it.”

**

“Hey, did anybody think to check the basket for a note?” Soohyun asked suddenly in the middle of lunch later that day, the few of them left at home for the afternoon gathered around the small kitchen table. “We never went through it.” 

“You’re right!” Dongho said excitedly, finally perking up. “Even Harry Potter had a note.” 

Kevin snagged the basket and pulled it closer towards them, throwing Dongho a weird look as he moved plates out of the way. Kiseop leaned closer as Gyeoul tangled her tiny fingers in his hair and babbled at him, hoping to find any clue at all as to how she ended up outside their house waiting for someone to find her. Kevin slid his hand between the blankets and the side of the basket, feeling under everything. Shaking out the blankets, a grand total of nothing fell out. 

A collective disappointed sigh went up from the group. “Well, it was a good try,” Kevin offered.

“Wait-” Kevin said suddenly, and scrabbled at the wickerwork at a bottom corner of the basket where something small and dull-coloured was stuck. “Oh my god, here it is! There really is a note! It’s almost the same colour as the basket, I didn’t see it!”

“You are the biggest pabo to walk the earth,” Eli said excitedly, eyes fixed on the note Kevin was unfolding in his hands as the others sat up immediately. “Read it out! Come on!”

“To the people who find my Eunbi,” Kevin read, and Kiseop frowned. Gyeoul, he thought. “There is nothing I can say to excuse my actions, and I am deeply sorry. I cannot keep her, but I hope she will find a home and people to love her better than I can. Please, please take care of her well. She is my life.”

Kevin looked up from the note to the serious faces watching him, the atmosphere in the kitchen sombre. “She doesn’t leave her name,” he said softly. He put it down onto the table next to his bowl and leaned over to rest his head on Kiseop’s shoulder. Eunbi, the baby formerly known as Gyeoul, batted at him with a chubby fist.

“Eunbi-ah,” Soohyun called to her softly as the rest sat in silence, swinging the baby’s other hand gently. “Oppa promises you, we will find you the best home ever.”

“Eunbi fighting!” Dongho exclaimed awkwardly, and then looked immediately embarrassed. 

“Ukiss oppas fighting!” Eli laughed. “Eunbi’s oppas fighting!”

**

“Where are they? She’s late.” 

Kevin stomped to drive out the December cold, impatiently shifting from one foot to the other. Kiseop looked up and down the bus station, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of whom they were waiting for. 

“Maybe the bus on their side was delayed,” Kiseop worried, and checked his phone again. “She didn’t call, though, so maybe-”

“Oppaaaaa!”

Something small and red charged abruptly into Kiseop’s legs and clung there tenaciously, to Kiseop and Kevin’s delight and relief. 

“Gyeoul-ah! How many times have I told you not to run away from me!” Yura arrived panting behind her daughter, laden with the little girl’s overnight bags. “She does that all the time, it’s terrible!”

She gave the two of them warm hugs in greeting and was instantly relieved of her bags. Kiseop picked Gyeoul up and gave her a big kiss on the cheek to happy girlish giggles and a cheeky smile. “Oppa, did you bring anything for me?”

“Aish!” Yura said in exasperation, swatting Gyeoul’s leg. “You be good these three days, understand? Umma is only a phonecall away if you need anything. Give umma a kiss.”

Gyeoul leant over to kiss her adopted mother on the cheek and started to wave her goodbye, unable to wait for her bimonthly weekend with her six oppas to begin. They walked back to their waiting van, Gyeoul chattering a mile a minute and Kiseop groaning slightly under her four year-old weight.

“I noticed you aren’t scared of sparrows anymore,” Kevin said conversationally on the way home, serene highwayside scenery flashing past the van windows.

“Nope,” Kiseop said, curling his fingers into Kevin’s.

“Or thunder. Or speed.”

“No more. I’m getting better with heights, too. Only scared of one thing, now.”

“What’s that?” Kevin said, grinning.

“Oh, come on, you know.” 

“No, I don’t! Tell me.”

“Losing you or her,” Kiseop mumbled, looking out the window in an attempt to stay nonchalant. Gyeoul was affixed to the window, staring at everything passing by.

Kevin hunkered down beside him, fingers intertwined, and though Kiseop didn’t know it, he smiled all the way home.