"La lalala lalala lalalalalalalala la lalalala..."

I start humming the piece as the little girl beside me holds my hand while walking. She has her eyebrows furrowed and lips set into a thin line while lost in her thoughts, with one of her hands in her pockets.

I only giggle at her. She really looks so adorable right now. "Okay, it's been two minutes, Jimin-ah. Are you sure you know the title?"

"I know this, sonsaengnim! It's on the tip of my tongue! The snake is about to bite me. I almost got it!" Jimin insists while pouting at me, still with that expression on her face. "We've learned this piece a while ago. I know this."

I give her a few more minutes as I watch her think again, with her unknowingly biting her lips out of instinct. I giggle again, finally speaking after a moment of silence.. "It's Pachelbel's Canon in D major, kiddo."

Jimin whines while stomping her feet. "Awwww, I almost got it."

I ruffle her hair playfully in response. "You'll eventually get it next time. Now, how about this one—"

Suddenly, a voice is heard, calling for someone. "Jimin!"

"Mom!" The little girl brightens up at the sight of her mother, who is wearing a small smile on her face. Jimin looks at me and says, "I have to go, sonsaengnim. See you tomorrow."

I kneel to match her height and say while patting her head, "Didn't I tell you to call me unnie? There's no need for formalities, Jimin-ah."

Just then, she wraps her arms around my neck tightly, effectively surprising me. "Thank you, unnie. See you tomorrow!"

All I can do was timidly hug her back, with my hands shaking from anxiety. Somehow, her gesture reminds me too much of what I've been through, to the point that my eyes suddenly begin to water. I try containing my tears from falling while tightening my hold on Jimin's lithe body, as if I never want to let go ever. "You're very welcome. See you tomorrow, dear."

With that, she breaks the embrace. I can only watch forlornly as Jimin dashes towards her mother and hugs her. Before leaving, Jimin waves at me enthusiastically. I wave back with a small smile as I watch mother and daughter walk away towards their home.

When they disappeared, my smile immediately fades away as I heave a deep sigh. Somehow or another, Jimin, or any of the kids in my class, makes me feel some sort of twinge of nostalgia from several years ago. I try to contain the memories from resurfacing again. All this time I always try to keep moving forward and not think about the past too much, because it will only remind me of the pain I had to endure.

Fate can be really cruel sometimes. But I guess I deserve it.

They say time is the best healer out there. Somehow, time heals the wounds of the heart. But then again, even time can't heal the scars that forms after.

--

As soon as I step into the apartment, darkness greets me. I raise an eyebrow as I look around. I expected Yoona unnie to be home before me, since her work hours finishes before mine. I turn on the lights and remove my shoes before settling my bag on the table and heading towards our small kitchen.

I spot a small sticky note on the fridge as soon as I grab the handle. I could tell from the neat penmanship that it was Yoona unnie's handwriting.

Gonna be home late. Hae decided to treat me to dinner today. Don't wait up for me. He said he wanted to do some last-minute planning for the engagement party and the wedding. You know how my fiancee is, Joohyun. Anyway, if you're hungry, there's some kimchi spaghetti in the fridge. Kyungsoo gave me some a while ago so it's still edible.

I only giggle as I read word-by-word. I know I shouldn't bother to wait up for her. Knowing Donghae and Yoona, they're going to take all night, literally. But then, my lips press into a thin line as I read the bottom part of the note. I almost forgot about that, since my mind is a bit preoccupied this week.

Oh and the offer still stands, Joohyun. I still hope you'll say yes.

- Yoona

I take the note and crumple it, throwing it in the trash. I already told Yoona a thousand times that I don't want to do it. I can't do it, not without the past haunting me again. I try not to get too close to anything that had to do with him. It is my way of moving on with my life, just like how everyone want it.

The piano has always been my companion ever since I was a kid. The music I make with it is something priceless. It led me to many possibilities. It led me to him.

Yoona told me countless times that I shouldn't consider the piano as a ghost of the past that will keep haunting me for the rest of my life, but as a path that leads to the calmness and serenity that I yearn.

Then again, there's always a "but".

But certain circumstances just made me as I am right now. Certain events that led me to this state made me afraid of facing everything, including the piano. To think that Yoona unnie wants me to play for her in her wedding. I don't want to disappoint her, but I'm not strong enough to deal with my demons.

You're weird, Joohyun. You're a music teacher who doesn't want to play the piano. That's sort of contradictory, don't you think? was Yoona unnie's words a few days ago.

I won't call that moving on, Joohyun. That's called running away. An inner voice told me. Somehow, it sounds just like him. 

I only shake my head, trying to contain my thoughts from overwhelming my head, possibly causing a bit of a migraine. I massage my temples before walking towards the bathroom. I wash my face, with the cold water eventually snapping me out of my trance. I look at my reflection on the mirror. It showed nothing but a woman who looks like she's terrified of everything.

A coward.

I bitterly agree. I am a coward.

Yoona unnie never knew that the strong, independent Joohyun she knew from when we were kids is long gone.

Because the old Joohyun died along with him.

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I'm getting goosebumps over this chapter. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, too much angst if you ask me haha. >w<