“Annyeong haseyo, Siwon-ssi. I just want to know where did you get my number.

• Jung Hyori ”

I was contemplating whether to send the text to him or not. I’m scared that he won’t reply me. If he won’t, I don’t think I’d be able to face him ever again. And that doesn’t help because we have another filming for another TV show this Tuesday.

“NOONA!” my little brother barged into my room. I was startled and accidentally pressed the send button. My eyes widened and I threw away my phone to the floor in panic.

“Omo! Eotteoke (what should I do)?” I panicked.

“Noona if you don’t love your phone just give it to me,” he handed it to me. I looked at it and it said ‘message sent’. I fell down on my knees and screamed. I know I sound dramatic but it’s just so embarrassing!

“Noona you’re crazy!” my brother slammed the door behind me.

I was prancing around the room, and checked my phone to see whether he’s got the message. I gasped when the notification changed indicating that he’s read the message. With my heart full of hope, I waited for a reply but to no avail, he didn’t reply at all. I screamed again and rolled on my bed. Someone help me! I don’t think I’d be able to face him anymore!

*****

The day that I didn’t want for it to come has arrived. Today, I’d be spending another four long hours recording for another TV show with Super Junior and unfortunately Siwon is going to be there as well. I checked my phone and there was still no reply from him. Looks like he wants to keep our relationship as just acquaintance. I understand that. Why would he want me to be one of his female friends? I bet he’s used to surrounded by pretty female friends and he’d be weirded out if I were to be his friends.

Sullenly, I prepared to go to the studio. As usual, my manager drove me everywhere I go. She’s like a driver but then I never order her to drive me around. She only drives me to go to work except for occasionally she’d drive me to wherever I want to go.

I went straight to the studio and greeted everyone. Surprisingly, the Super Junior members who are going to be on the show are already here. Usually they would be fashionably late. I wanted to go and greet them but hold myself back when I saw Siwon. Besides, they were rehearsing for a mini performance for us later so I didn’t want to disturb them.

I was busy having my make-up and hair done while stealing a glance at him once in a while. A few minutes later, the assistant PD asked us to get ready for the filming.

*****

The filming went well so far but I couldn’t help to notice that he has been so quiet. I know that he’s not the very talkative type like Leeteuk and Eunhyuk but he’s just being so quiet, even quieter than Kyuhyun and Yesung. I so badly wanted to ask him but I still can’t get over the fact that he hasn’t replied my message. I still feel embarrassed to ask him.

“Let’s do a couple game,” announced my co-MC, Myeongsoo oppa. Couple game is famous in TV Shows especially when there are both male and female guests. For today, our female guest is Sistar. There are five male guests and four female guests, and guess who get the fifth guy? Yours truly. Unfortunately (in this case, it’s unfortunately), I was paired up with Siwon (through voting). He smiled at me and just sat next to me saying nothing. Our first game is the Peppero stick game. It’s the game where one end of the Peppero stick will go into the guy’s mouth while the other end will go to the girl’s mouth. Both of them will bite onto the stick and the couple who bites onto it until it becomes the possible shortest will win the game.

Kyuhyun who was paired up with Hyorin went up first. Followed by Yesung and Dasom. The next couple would be Leeteuk and Bora but it’d be continued after our fifteen minute break. I wanted to talk to Siwon but he has disappeared. I sighed and went out of the studio to go to the restroom. When I was on my way to the restroom, I heard someone talking. I didn’t want to be nosey but the familiar voice made me curious. As expected, it was Siwon and he was on the phone, talking about someone has passed away. Listening to their conversation, I found out that his grandmother passed away recently. That explained his gloomy face. Afraid of being discovered, I immediately left the place.

*****

The game continued and finally it’s our turn. I tried my best to not do anything stupid. He gave me the end that was covered with chocolate. That’s so sweet of him, I know.

“Start!” instructed Myeongsoo oppa.

I was so nervous that I didn’t realise I was biting it fast with my eyes closed. The scream from others made me open my eyes and I was shocked to see how close our faces were. In order to take care of his pride, I took one last bite and let go. Because of this, both of us lost the game and we received a punishment. The punishment was to put on an ugly costume and make-up.

“I don’t think Hyori needs an ugly makeover, she’s already ugly,” Myeongsoo oppa joke. The whole studio bursted out in laughter.

“Yah!” I retorted.

Both of us went to the make-up room to do our ugly make-over. I got a half-bald wig and also a very long moustache and nose hair whereas Siwon just got a half-bad wig and an old man make-over. Kudos to the make-up artist, he does look old but still handsome. I looked into my reflection and saw how ridiculous I look. For sure this is not the kind of girl he would fall in love with, I thought to myself. Thinking about the impossibilities of me being together with him made me tear up a little but I quickly calm myself down and went to the studio. He went in first.

“Mwoya?? There’s not much change! He’s still handsome,” protested the Super Junior boys. They were complaining and immediately bursted out laughing when they saw me. I just faked a smile. I saw Siwon looking at me with a disbelief look on his face. I tried my best not to walk out of the studio. He must’ve thought I look ridiculous.

Just as soon as the recording ended, I raced out of the studio and went to the rooftop. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I tried to open it again but the stupid door wouldn’t budge. Frustrated, I kicked the door hard and sat down on the floor, letting my tears flow, ignoring the pain on my toes. I heard a foot step and immediately I wiped my tears away. I must not show my weakness to anyone. Not even my colleagues.

“Hyori-ssi?”