I remember now. That day. I was walking down the streets, hands shoved inside my pockets, a scarf wrapped messily around my neck, the thick snow falling around me. That day, the wind blew. I reached out my hand and opened it. Letting snowflakes gently fall on my palm and melt away. Inhaling the icy air, I looked up at the sky and a flash of my little sister's face appeared. Biting the inside of my mouth, I let out a whimper. But that whimper became a sob. I staggered and fell on the snow. It took a while before my pants started to get wet and I could feel the coldness of the snow. Continuing to sob, tears streamed down my face as I screamed in agony. My beloved, most precious little sister. Rosaline. I witnessed her death in front of my eyes, yet...that day, that moment, that second the car hit her, my body froze. 

Flashback:

Unable to move, unable to blink. When the shock had finally settled in, I ran to her as if my life was on the line. Actually, half of me was on the line. Rosaline, the girl that brought me happiness. The girl that was always by my side whenever I was down. She was so young, so innocent, way too young to die. She brought everyone around her happiness, bubbly and kind, our neighbours loved her. That day, she had turned 12. Oh I remember how thrilled she was to invite her friends the next day. How excited she was to eat a cake I'd bake for her, like every other year. She'd wake me up early in the morning only so I could bake her her favorite cake, an ice cream cake. She had always wished for a bigger family, but what could I do? We were abandonned by our parents, I was 10 when Rosaline turned 2. What were we supposed to do? They sent us to an orphanage, threw us away as if we were trash and disappeared without leaving a single trace. We both cried, for different reasons. Anger and fear, worry, but mostly, we were heartbroken. The feeling of rejection by the ones that brought you to life...If only memories could be erased. If only I could choose what to keep in me, and what to forget.

I soon became old enough to start working, we left the orphanage and started off brand new. I found a little apartment in which we lived in, I'd work at night and full-time on the weekends. I made enough money to send her to school, but I self-taught myself because college was for too much for me. We had gone out to downtown to get her a dress she had been wanting for weeks, we walked around, maybe buying a few snacks on the way, but that was all. I held her hand as she pointed to different directions, we were both happy. But that day...was also her last day. 

End of flashback:

I screamed in agony as the memories appeared. No matter how many times I wiped the tears away, they wouldn't stop falling. I felt horrible, what did I do? It was my fault. Everything we had done together, all the memories we made, we had promised to stay together forever. 

Rosaline:  “Big sis! We will be together forever, right?” Lifting her pinky at me and beaming happily. Putting my book aside, I lifted her up and petted her hair. Crossing my pinky with hers, I said:

“We will.”

But that promise, 5 years ago, what had happened to it? It was my fault, my fault for being too carefree. My fault for letting her wander on the streets too far from me. My fault for not paying enough attention to her. My fault for letting her cross the road without holding my hand. I couldn't help but blame myself, who else would it be. I took it all, the blame, the guilt, the pain. 

Ashe: "Rosaline..."

I clenched my fist and slowly stood back up. Wiping the tears away, I shoved my frozen hands back into my pockets and buried my face deeper into my scarf. I shook my head and ran for a while, letting my stiff body relax a bit. No. I can’t cry forever. She’ll be carved inside my heart for eternity, but I have to control my feelings. Panting heavily, I bent down and tried to catch my breath. Cloudy, the sky was cloudy. I stopped and sniffed, breathing heavely. I had realized I couldn't cry forever, maybe I'd take time to move on, but I would never forget her. Rosaline, my dearest sister. 

Rosaline, the girl that meant the world for me.

Rosaline, the one that died on April 27th 2003.