Chapter 6
Tormenting Me
Special thanks to Blossomdutch for the amazing poster ^^
Chapter 6 || Are You Watching?
Her surroundings were becoming a mixed blur rushing past her. The rapid beating of her heart and the pounding of her heavy footsteps into the dead twigs and leaves besieged upon the ground dissolved into one another to become one endless drone against her ears.
Though she could only see just a few inches in front of her through the dense fog and darkness of nightfall surrounding her, she had to keep going forward at all cost.
Narrowly dodging one of the many trees she had been weaving pass, Jaeyun felt this small slip-up only add onto the swelling fear clenching onto her entire body. He's getting closer. I need to get away— he's going to get me! Those words raced round and round through her mind on repeat, reminding her not to give into her fear or fatigue for even one second.
She could feel it behind her; a coldness, a heaviness, an evilness.
It felt so far away yet close enough to breathe right down her neck, and no matter how hard she ran she felt like she was getting absolutely nowhere.
I'm going to get killed. I'm going to get killed.
Reaching her arms out to push herself through a patch of leaves blocking her path, Jaeyun skidded to a startling stop when she found herself now out of the crowded, labyrinth of the forest and realizing she had no where else to run. Now, Jaeyun stood just at the very edge of a large riverbank— the exact same riverbank from her other nightmare.
Breath rattling, Jaeyun took a baby step backwards. Her eyes were somehow unwillingly latched onto the silent moving ripples of the water in front of her, caught in a trance staring eye to eye at her own reflection through the water. She gripped a hand over her chest as she felt the air in her lungs begin to slowly lessen, almost as if it were being pulled right out of her body and making her lightheaded. After a few more breathless seconds, Jaeyun managed to rip her gaze away from the river and catch her breath.
Kick started by adrenaline, Jaeyun turned herself around and darted her eyes this way and that. The air was quiet and still. It appeared as though whatever was chasing her was now no where to be seen. But she knew she wasn't safe yet—it was never that easy.
“I have to keep going.” Getting ready to go full speed forward, every muscle in Jaeyun's body locked into place as a spurt of electricity shot straight up to the top of her spine.
Standing a few feet away and hunched behind a tree, Jaeyun could make out a solid dark shadow leaned out past the tree trunk and looking right at her. She couldn't move; not even one finger could be lifted as she was trapped underneath this eerie stare. The only thing screaming in her mind was one thing: she was going to die right here and right now.
Blinking her eyes, Jaeyun was caught off guard when the immobile shadow had disappeared from it's place and was once again no where to be found. Not wasting any time, Jaeyun struggled to gain control over her body again in order to escape while she still could. However, any and every attempt was useless and a growing sense of helplessness was quickly beginning to creep up on her.
She had to escape somehow. She knew she could. It wasn't impossible... was it?
Momentarily reeling her gaze up, Jaeyun's heart stopped for a full second when she realized that, that very same figure was now standing directly in front of her.
And it was Luhan who now stood before her.
He stood such a close distance to Jaeyun that there was only a measly inch separating their own bodies. Unknowingly, her eyes found its way onto Luhan's where the two were now locked in a stagnant stare. Just as she had remembered them, Luhan's eyes were like a dark and endless void of nothing that easily Jaeyun in like she was an easy prey— his prey. Though her sights were focused on his eyes, she could still make out the bright, white paleness of Luhan's face in contrast with the rest of him and heavy black dark circles beneath his unblinking eyes.
Jaeyun could feel her limps going numb and weak trapped beneath the pressure of his stare. What could possibly be going through his mind right now? What was he going to do now that he finally had her?
Jaeyun flinched with a sharp blink of her eyes when she suddenly felt both of Luhan's icy and lifeless hands now resting against both of her cheeks on her face. Still locked eye to eye, Luhan held her face in his palms for a moment.
His touch, as fast as it had come, had sparked something unknown in Jaeyun. The gentle pressure of his palms, the almost feather-like feel of his fingertips which ran past her cheeks and laid entangled in her hair. It gave her this unexplained feeling that was trying so hard to reveal itself. It was a lost, yet familiar sensation; one that contrasted tremendously with everything else she was feeling right now.
What was it?
Without realizing it, Luhan had already craned his neck down and was beginning to close the distant between them. Little by little, Luhan's face came closer and closer towards Jaeyun's.
Her breath stood right at the very top of her lungs. She couldn't move to get away from him and she couldn't push him away either. All she could do was stand there in her place, heart persistently battering against her chest, and allow whatever was going to happen, to just happen.
Feeling Luhan's lips just a breath away from hers, Jaeyun held her breath in expectancy.
However, Luhan stopped where he was for a brief moment before dropping both of his hands down from Jaeyun's face onto her shoulders and pulling himself away from her once again. Now gripping tightly onto either of Jaeyun's small shoulders, Luhan empty eyes stared down into Jaeyun's.
“You don't believe me... do you?”
His sudden words, heavy enough to be its own presence, caught Jaeyun off guard and left her with a blankness. What was that supposed to mean?
“You hate me, don't you?”
She did hate him. She hated him with everything she had and more. But why couldn't she just admit it to him right now as she did before? Why did it feel like those few simple words left sitting at the tip of her tongue were hanging onto a part of her that she couldn't let go of? She was left silent— her words stuck at a standstill deep inside her chest.
Jaeyun winced when Luhan's fingers, cinched onto her shoulders, began to coil into a slow-growing grip of pain. Looking up at him, his face still remained emotionless and apathetic despite her obvious discomfort.
“Why?” he started. “Why did it have to come to this? Why have you become like them??” Jaeyun was now audibly in agony at the numbing, knife-like pain as she tried her hardest to rip herself away from him. But it was all in vain as with each breath taken, his clutch on her became tighter and more unbearable.
“Let me go!!!” Jaeyun at last shouted in a spurt of bravery. “Let me—!!” Jaeyun's words were caught in a hitched breath when she was suddenly yanked forward. The next thing she knew, she felt herself enclosed against Luhan's chest and his arms which were now tightly wrapped around her body. Once again, she didn't move a single muscle.
How he managed to be able to silence her in the blink of an eye, she couldn't figure out.
In her immobility, Jaeyun was left pressed firmly against Luhan's own body. Being in such close proximity of Luhan, Jaeyun felt herself becoming overwhelmed by the potent metallic stench of blood engulfing all her senses.
“Jaeyun.” Came a whisper from Luhan, his voice almost sounding a bit tired and unwilling to flow past his lips. “I promised you before. I promised you that you'd be alright. And you will be.”
Staring back down at her was a white ceiling dipped in a yellow glow that flowed through the glass window nearby. Jaeyun returned the ceiling's gaze, feeling as though it was the only thing she could manage right now. Eventually the warmness that was spread across the bed she was currently nestled in all night put her breathlessness and her pounding heart at a gentle ease.
“Another nightmare... huh...?” The words came out on their own as Jaeyun sat herself up in bed. Peering down as she wiped her perspiring forehead and neck, Jaeyun noticed her disheveled blanket lying lifelessly on the floor beside her bed for what seemed like a good while now. “It definitely had to be a nightmare if my blanket ended up on the ground again...”
“Jaeyun?” Alerted by her name, Jaeyun was quick to look up but instantly relaxed her muscles when she realized the call came from none other than her roommate Bomi. Unlike Jaeyun, Bomi was comfortably settled in her bed and wrapped snugly in her thick, cottony comforter. “You're up already?” Bomi groggily asked, eyes almost completely hooded as she sluggishly reached for her phone resting on their shared nightstand. Wincing a bit at the sudden brightness of her phone's screen, Bomi glanced at the time displayed.
“3 AM?” Bomi exclaimed, her weariness drowning out the surprise in her tone though. “This is the fifth night in the row that you've woken up at 3. Are you alright?” Jaeyun didn't respond back to Bomi— only blinking back at the dazed girl across the room from her who literally looked at though she was a heartbeat away from falling back into some type of hibernation again.
Jaeyun dryly swallowed and settled her eyes down onto her own lap. “I just... had a nightmare, that's all.”
“A nightmare?” She yawned. “It's ok Jaeyun, it was only a dream. Just kick those nightmares to the curb because it's all over now.” Bomi reassured with a weak wave of her hand. Jaeyun once again, remained silent. If only it was... Finding sleep to be the last thing on her mind right now, Jaeyun figured she might as well just get up now.
Slipping out of her bed and a little wobbly kneed, Jaeyun decided that perhaps a shower would help calm her mind if only for a bit. Seeing as how Bomi had already drifted back to sleep, Jaeyun didn't find it necessary to wake her up to tell her. As she was making her way past Bomi's sleeping figure to get to her closet, Jaeyun's body immediately stopped itself from taking one more step when her eyes had latched onto something— something off.
The one window in the room had water droplets on it.
Cautiously proceeding towards it, Jaeyun gingerly placed the tips of her fingers against the water-stained glass. A shiver shook at her shoulders when the cold touch of the window caught up to her. Proceeding a step forward, Jaeyun jolted up when an abrupt coldness spread across the bottom of her feet. Looking down, she saw that a bit of water from the window had seeped through and had pooled into a tiny puddle that she had just stepped in. Feeling an uneasiness crawl through her skin, Jaeyun took a few steps back.
“Why is there so much water on the window? It... it didn't rain at all last night...”
Even with a quick glance outside from the window, Jaeyun could obviously see the gravel and grass was as dry as can be, so it couldn't possibly have rained.
Not wanting to become trapped in another round of lunacy, Jaeyun shook off her suspicion and hurriedly grabbed her towel and other showering necessities before rushing off into the bathroom nearby. Luckily for Jaeyun, their dormitory had their own personal bathrooms built into each dorm room unlike others that housed a public bathroom.
Making her way inside, Jaeyun eased the door open a bit and took a peek inside. It was a weird habit no doubt, but for someone like Jaeyun, paranoia wasn't an unlikely circumstance. After a brief moment of scanning, she slipped inside and quietly shut the door behind herself.
With her mind still lost in a profound fog, Jaeyun had already the water, stripped out of her pajamas and stepped inside the shower without her even fully realizing it. At the sensation of the first warm drop of water touching her skin, an immediate sense of serenity took over her entire body as all her thoughts were simply whisked away from her. It was this exact reason why Jaeyun loved taking warm showers. That distinct warm and comforting feeling of the mellow droplets sprinkling against her skin and the exhales of cloudy steam embracing her completely— it would always relieve her tension and soothe all her muscles in a way that made her feel at ease and safe.
I can't let this fear and paranoia take over my life like this. Jaeyun suddenly thought to herself once her mind started to clear. I can't live like this—not for the second time... But why is this whole thing starting up like this again? Not only that but this whole situation feels different than before.
Before, I used to constantly be bothered by the feeling of fear and discomfort. But now... I feel like my life could end at any given second.
Reaching her arm over to grab her floral scented body soap, Jaeyun stopped when she witnessed something that made her stomach churn. A dark red bruise on her left shoulder. And not just any bruise—these bruises bared a chilling resemblance to that of hand prints. Frantically looking around, she realized that both of her shoulders had identical, gruesome marks on them. It's the same... t-the places where he grabbed me in my dream...! She grazed her shaky fingers against the bruises, causing her to wince in pain and further proving that these were actual marks and not her mind playing crazy tricks on her.
Her heart began to weakly tremble inside her chest. When did these marks get there? How long had she had them for? Did he really inflict it on her? All those questions were buzzing around in a demented frenzy inside her head, far quicker than she could process.
Not too long ago, she had received the same type of mark on her own wrist when she had been rushing down the hallways with Baekhyun. (She still had the sickly black and green bruise mark to remind her of the incident everyday after all.) So there really was no doubt in her mind about who it exactly was that inflicted these injuries on her arms. However, she still just couldn't allow herself to admit to something like this—something so cruel.
Before it was just my wrist and now my shoulders. If this continues, what more will he do to hurt me? What extent will he be willing to go to in the end?
Ding ding
Jaeyun lifted her head up from the table as she dug a hand inside of her hoodie pocket. Ignoring the curious onlookers alerted from the foreign sound cutting through the settled silence of the library she was sitting in, Jaeyun pulled out her cellphone and skimmed over her incoming text.
I'm at the front gate. Come meet me there
Instantly awoken from her tired daze, Jaeyun was quick to get up from her seat and head straight for the exit. Not taking any detours or breaks, she managed to make it to the entrance gate on campus in no time at all. Though the entryway laid ample with plenty of other students entering and exiting through the gate, only one single person who stood leaned against the ebony colored metal fences caught Jaeyun's attention.
“Sehun...” It had only been a little over a week since the two had last seen each other in person, but for Jaeyun it felt as though their time of separation had stretched out far longer than it should have. Not a second too soon, Sehun had looked up, pulling his attention away from his cellphone in his hand, where the two were now caught in a fixed stare with one another.
Jaeyun held a hand against her stomach, feeling it twist a bit at the sudden eye contact.
With their sights now settled upon one another, Jaeyun suddenly felt herself unable to move forward to approach him. Once again before Jaeyun could fully think her next actions through, Sehun had already pulled himself off the metal gating and began to close the distance between him and Jaeyun.
And just like that, they were now face to face.
Jaeyun waited for him to say something to her since he was the one who approached her first, but not a single word came out of his mouth as he continued eyeing her. Sehun's eyes didn't dare to stray anywhere else other than from Jaeyun's. It was almost as if all Sehun wanted, or rather needed, to do was to gaze into Jaeyun's eyes, and it would be enough to make up for their lost times.
Unable to return Sehun's concentrated and slightly intimidating stare, Jaeyun finally managed to pull her sights away from him to look down at the dewy grass beneath her gray converses. Why isn't he saying anything? Maybe he isn't sure what to say right now either...? Pulling her gaze up, Jaeyun couldn't help but stop midway when her eyes caught sight of an item clasped in Sehun's hand.
A bouquet of beautiful flowers.
“If we leave now, we can probably catch the next bus without having to wait too long.” Jaeyun looked up at the sudden ring of Sehun's voice. Glancing from his silver quartz wristwatch to Jaeyun, he continued, “You still remember where we're going, right?”
“Huh? Oh... yeah, I remember.” Jaeyun nodded. And without another word, the two made their way off the school grounds and towards the nearest bus stop.
A rush of buildings, sidewalks and pedestrians flew past Jaeyun's eyes as she gazed through the bus window. It really was the only thing she could do right now considering Sehun hadn't said a single word to her this entire time. Focusing her eyes on the smudged glass of the window, Jaeyun caught a glimpse of the faint reflection of her brother Sehun who sat beside her.
Right now, (or rather for the entire duration of the bus ride thus far) Sehun had been in his own little world texting away on his iPhone. Has he even looked up once since we both sat down on the bus? At the sound of the familiar text jingle from his phone, Sehun swiftly looked over his new message and with a grin, was off on a typing frenzy once again. Jaeyun was suddenly starting to feel like a third wheel here... Who has he been talking to anyways? Finding it becoming rather tedious wondering and guessing who or what was preoccupying her brother so much, Jaeyun finally looked away from the window and settled her eyes upon her lap.
I still feel pretty tired... I was hoping some fresh air would help wake me up but it seems like nothing is working. Jaeyun thought, rubbing her heavy eyes with a yawn. It's no surprise though. I mean, it feels as though I hadn't had an actual night's sleep in ages considering every night I've been having... Jaeyun cut her inner thoughts short. She knew she shouldn't be over-thinking this. For Jaeyun, over-thinking anything nowadays would only cause her to go completely insane.
In an attempt to simmer down her racing thoughts, Jaeyun allowed her eyes to wander her surroundings. Once again, her eyes landed upon the bouquet of flowers that Sehun now had rested on his lap. “Beautiful, isn't it?” Jaeyun turned her head, surprised to see Sehun finally looking away from his phone and at her. Sehun held up the arrangements of flowers and marveled at the array of colors and sizes of each individual flower. “I specifically asked the flower store owner to hand pick all these flowers for the occasion. I honestly wasn't expecting the ending result to look this nice considering what these flowers are for, but I guess I was wrong. What do you think?”
Jaeyun simply blinked at the flowers that were now held up in front of her; the floral aroma pleasantly wafting past her nose and putting her thoughts as ease. “It's nice.” Was all she said with a nod.
“Is there any flower in here that you like? Ya know, one that catches your eye.” Jaeyun eyed the bouquet. Although she wasn't the type of person who would look into details, one flower had actually grabbed her attention since the moment she first laid eyes on the arrangement.
“I guess it'd have to be... this one.”
“Ah, I see. So you like the purple hyacinth huh?”
Jaeyun nodded. “Yeah, I think it looks really pretty.”
Daintily plucking the nearest one out of the bundle of flowers, Sehun held it towards Jaeyun. “Here, take it.”
“Huh? You're giving me one? No, I couldn't possibly—“
“Just take it Jaeyun.” Sehun firmly ordered. Flashing him a momentary scowl, Jaeyun reluctantly took the flower from his hand and held it on her lap. “Flowers always go well with girls. I think it gives them a fresher and more innocent look—something you definitely need considering you look like you woke up on the wrong side of bed today.” Normally she would have shot back some sort of rebuttal or at least given him a dirty look for such a snide remark but Jaeyun felt herself far too busy gazing at the beautiful plum colored flower between her fingers.
There was just something about it that was drawing her to it, though she couldn't put her finger on it.
“You know while I was at the flower shop, the man arranging my flowers was chatting with me about the meanings of each flower and what they symbolize.” Sehun commented.
“Really? What did he say about this flower? What does it represent?” Jaeyun asked.
“Hmm, if I remember correctly I think he told me that the purple hyacinth symbolizes grief and sorrow.” Not exactly the symbolization I was hoping for... Jaeyun thought. “He said giving that flower to someone is almost like telling them 'I'm sorry' or 'please forgive me' or something along those line.” Jaeyun's eyes softened. “Sorrow and the endless search for forgiveness—that pretty much sums up that flower in a few words. Pretty depressing huh?”
“Yeah...” Jaeyun murmured, silently rolling the flower stem between her fingers. A heavy feeling seem to have softly rested itself upon Jaeyun's chest the longer she returned the fragile flower's timid stare, and she honestly had no idea why.
Sorrow and forgiveness, huh?
“We're here.” Jaeyun pulled away from her thoughts when Sehun had finally stood up from his seat and stepped into the aisle. “Come on.” he gestured to her. Quickly jumping up onto her feet, both Sehun and Jaeyun exited the bus and started on their way.
After a good ten minute walk mingled with a few awkward, short-lived conversations here and there, the siblings at last made it to their destination.
The cemetery.
Being no stranger to this particular location, the two made their way through the black aluminum gates and down the graveled pathway. Involuntarily, Jaeyun strode closely beside Sehun. She always did feel a bit uneasy being in such a place—broad daylight or not. The dreary air, the empty yet claustrophobic atmosphere, the absence of any outside noises other than the occasional whistle of a lost seasonal breeze, and just the fact that it felt as though stepping foot inside the cemetery felt as though she were entering into an unknown world where time had completely stopped in its tracks.
“Here it is.” The two came to a halt, now standing before a grave that looked no different than any other tombstone around it. Jaeyun noticed another bouquet of assorted flowers laid against the stone, though this one looked a bit wilted. So Sehun has been here recently? Jaeyun concluded. Jaeyun ran her eyes across the name engraved into the stone.
Wu Yifan
Even reading it in her own mind, Jaeyun felt every syllable of that name squeeze at her heart tighter and tighter. Sehun crouched down onto one knee and gently laid the bouquet in his hands beside the other, older one. “How have you been doing Kris?” Sehun asked, gazing at the gravestone. “I hope you've been doing well.” Jaeyun slid her gaze over to Sehun. The way he looked at and studied every single line and curve of Kris' name carved into the gravestone, it was almost as if Sehun was envisioning Kris standing right in front of him as he spoke.
Jaeyun didn't know anything about Sehun and Kris' history together. They could have been longtime friends, or even strangers—she had no clue since Sehun never brought it up and she didn't feel obligated to find out. However, this 'Kris' person had obviously become someone that Sehun had now held near and dear to himself. Jaeyun remembers Sehun visiting Kris' grave every single day the first few months of his death. Even now after over a year, Sehun still frequents the cemetery as often as he can.
Jaeyun stepped over to Sehun's side and crouched down beside him. Pressing her hands together, Jaeyun closed her eyes. Kris or Wu Yifan, I hope you're doing okay. I wish for nothing more than for you to continue living in peace where you are now. I didn't know you personally or had even spoken to you before, but I know that I owe my life to you. I'm not sure if I should be giving you endless thanks or endless apologies for what has happened, but I hope that you can still live each day with a smile upon your face. Opening up her eyes once more, she rose up onto her feet along with Sehun. Giving the gravestone one last look, the two wordlessly made their way out.
After just a few steps a strong shiver shook at Jaeyun's shoulder, causing her to wrap her arms around herself on impulse. That felt weird... She shuttered. Jaeyun wasn't completely sure why but she suddenly had the compelling urge to look over her shoulder. Hesitantly following her gut, Jaeyun turned her head to glance back at Kris' grave.
Standing in front of his grave was a man.
Startled by the sudden sight, Jaeyun's body had tensed up, but in the blink of an eye the man was gone.
Whipping her head back forward, Jaeyun held her eyes firmly against the ground she was walking on. A familiar queasy and unsettling feeling was now shaking at Jaeyun's body, pulling away at her peace of mind quicker than she could handle. It wasn't just the fact that the figure she had just seen had appeared and disappeared so abruptly, but by the fact that that particular person looked far too familiar to Jaeyun than she would have liked to have admitted to.
That man... was that... Luhan?
Nonetheless, Jaeyun silently marched on beside Sehun; her strides longer and quicker than before. Thankfully enough, they both made it out of the cemetery in no time at all and before long, arrived at the bus stop.
It seemed as though Sehun and Jaeyun were the only people waiting for the next bus which left them alone seated in the bus stop bench. It was all the more fortunate for Jaeyun since the solitude allowed her to calm her nerves more easily. Laying a hand against her chest, she began to steady her breaths; inhaling, exhaling and repeat.
Feeling herself finally able to breath and organize her thoughts a bit more thoroughly, Jaeyun laid her back against the chilly, metallic bench. I wasn't harmed in any way just now, yet I got so worked up over it. I've literally gone crazy... Her eyes wandering aimlessly, Jaeyun turned her head but was taken off guard by what she saw.
Sehun staring at her. Again.
Jaeyun was quick to react and averted her eyes, finding nothing else to save her other than staring down the lonely trashcan across the street as hard as she could to avoid the awkwardness. I can still feel him staring at him—doesn't he know him staring at me makes me uncomfortable?? Jaeyun thought.
“How's school been going for you?” Jaeyun flinched a tiny bit at Sehun's abrupt voice breaking through her thoughts.
“Uh fine. It's been fine.” Jaeyun swiftly answered, eyes still locked straight ahead.
“Oh. Made any new friends?”
“No not really.”
“What, none at all? I would think you would have become friends with that roommate of yours.”
“Yeah, I guess.” A silence now followed Jaeyun's response. This is so uncomfortable... why do I feel so uncomfortable talking about school with my brother?? Jaeyun thought, fanning herself with her hand.
“Jaeyun,”
“Hm?”
“Look at me.”
Once again, a knot in Jaeyun's stomach caused her a shudder a bit at Sehun's sudden request. Stiffly turning her head to the side, Jaeyun flinched when she saw that Sehun's own face was now directly in front of hers. And one way or another, he had already scooted over, leaving almost no space between them.
Stuck in Sehun's stare, Jaeyun eased by an inch to which Sehun leaned forward a bit himself. On complete. uncontrollable impulse, Jaeyun pushed her hands forward, shoving Sehun all the way back onto the other side of the bench and regaining a much needed space between them once again.
“Oww... Jaeyun, what the hell??!!” Sehun hollered, recovering his posture and rubbing at his now sore chest.
“Why were you so close??” Jaeyun retorted with any hesitation.
“Because I wanted to get a good look at your face! This whole time I thought you seemed tired and finally being able to look at you, I see that I was right.” Jaeyun didn't respond back. “The only way someone would have such hideous bags under their eyes is if they hadn't been getting enough rest. Have you been sleeping at all this past week?”
Jaeyun looked away, unsure of what she would tell him. “Well... you know how college is—sleepless nights of studying are normal, right?”
She couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell him any of this. She might have seemed crazy to even think about keeping something so big a secret from one of the only person who could truly understand her situation. But she just couldn't do that to him—not for the second time. The first time this whole fiasco with Luhan started, Sehun was unwillingly dragged into the entire mess without much say in it at all. In the end, it wasn't even truly Sehun's problem and yet he took it upon himself to make it his own. All that stress and pain he went through, all of that unnecessary suffering. Jaeyun didn't want him to go through it again.
Sehun was someone important to her after all.
Sehun eyed Jaeyun, taking in her 'studying' excuse word by word but baring a face that would tell otherwise. It was obvious he wasn't buying her story much like always whenever she'd try to lie to him. “Jaeyun, tell me the truth. If something's bothering you just tell me right now.”
“There's nothing bothering me, and I told you since the first day of school that if I have a problem I can handle it myself.”
“Is there something or someone bothering you at school? Just tell me and I'll take care of it.”
“I told you it's nothin—“
“Jaeyun, don't lie to me. Lying doesn't help anyone.” Jaeyun fell silent. There was no way she could get out of this. She was pretty much backed into a corner here. Sure, telling him could help her even just a little, but not telling him would ensure Sehun's safety and peace of mind.
Just in time, Jaeyun spotted their bus approaching from down the street. Without saying another word, Jaeyun hopped up onto her feet and fled inside the bus the moment it arrived at the curb. Sehun was left sitting in the bench, confused as to how abrupt and convenient that all was, but heaved out a sigh as he got up and entered the bus as well.
One bus ride later and Jaeyun and Sehun were finally back at the front gates of her campus. Though the both of them were walking side by side, neither of them were speaking nor looking at one another. Perhaps it might have been because of the 'small' argument the two had gotten into inside the bus that might have been the reasoning behind all of this.
“I'd better get going now.” Jaeyun looked up at her older brother, taken by surprise.
“Wait, you're heading back? So soon?” Jaeyun questioned, her frustration easily seething over into nothing.
“Yeah, I've got an appointment with a friend. I promised I'd help them study for their psychology test next week.” Friend? That's probably the friend he had been texting earlier today. “I'll come visit again the next time I have free time. Maybe we can go to that park nearby here next time.” Sehun assured.
“Oh. Ok.” Jaeyun nodded.
Before walking off, Sehun looked Jaeyun in the eyes one last time. “Jaeyun, are you really sure there isn't anything you want to tell me?” he slowly asked, searching through her eyes for his answer.
He keeps asking. Sehun, I want to tell—I want to tell someone so badly. But... I don't want you getting hurt again...
“No.” Jaeyun answered. The word came out far quicker before it could even fully process in her head. But it's already been said and left to settle in the air now. Taking in Jaeyun's straightforward response, Sehun finally decided to let go of the matter and said his goodbyes to his little sister. Watching Sehun's figure descend into the distance, Jaeyun let out a long sigh held tight in her chest for who knows how long now.
“I know not telling Sehun will help him but... does it help me at all?” Tucking her regrets and second guesses away for later on, Jaeyun turned and entered the school yard.
Around this time of day, everyone was up and about on campus; goofing off and hanging out with their closest buddies. All around her, all Jaeyun could hear were cheerful conversations being thrown here and there and jovial laughter being shared with one another. All she could see around her was... happiness.
Why can't I be like them?
Rubbing an eye with her sleeve, Jaeyun felt the need to sit down somewhere. Even after everything that happened today, she was still incredibly fatigued and needed some type of relief. Looking around, Jaeyun spotted an empty wooden bench and headed straight for it.
Setting herself down, Jaeyun blew out a content sigh as she felt all her strained muscles and aching bones at last releasing all of its built up tension. Leaning back, she felt all of her terrible thoughts and afflicted feelings almost drift away from her instantly. It was a bit strange though. Looking up, Jaeyun realized exactly why she felt so at ease and relaxed.
She was sitting beneath the white ash tree from before.
Jaeyun stared up curiously at the delicately swaying tree above her. What was it about this certain area that made her feel so relaxed and so... safe? This could just be the long awaited relief from her weariness talking here but then again, she couldn't help but think of it as a bit peculiar.
The feeling she had sitting beneath this ash tree, it was such a refreshing feeling and it was almost as if all of her worries and troubles were stowed away into a place far, far away from where she was right now. A soothing warmth flowed through every single part of Jaeyun's body right down to her fingertips. Her eyelids, one way or another gradually slid down to hood her eyes until she finally drifted off to sleep.
Jaeyun opened her eyes. The sun peeking through the leaves above her were still sleepily resting upon her skin and the same ring of passerby students' mixed chattering still bounced dizzily around in the air. Everything was all the same but looking up, Jaeyun soon realized there was something that definitely wasn't there before.
Standing in front of her was a little girl.
It was the exact same child Jaeyun had seen on her first day of school. Jaeyun stared back at the girl, stunned by how pure and beautiful she looked. With her round eyes and full cheeks and adorned in her spotless white dress, she almost didn't even look real in Jaeyun's eyes.
The little girl did not smile but she didn't seem angry nor sad but she didn't seem at all happy either. She was just... there.
It seemed as though the two were just going to continue locking eyes with one another until the end of time, until at last the little girl spoke. And she only said one, short phrase.
“Are you watching?”
Jaeyun jolted up in place, her eyes frantically darting here and there. Looking around breathless, Jaeyun saw that she was still beneath the ash tree, surrounding by the same unknowing college-goers. But, it seemed as though the little girl from before had completely vanished. “W-was that all just... a dream...?” Jaeyun murmured to herself. Recalling her dream as vividly as a rewinded movie, Jaeyun quietly repeated the same words from the child to herself.
“Are you... watching...?”
WARNING: Long author's note ahead!!!
So it's been like 78+ years since I updated hasn't it lol
Before I write anything else, I just wanted to say THANK YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH FOR GETTING TORMENTING ME FEATURED!!! It was honestly incredibly unexpected to me because I still don't even know how Watching Me got featured and now this thang made it to the front page too. But really, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I do in fact read every single one of your comments even though I don't reply to all of them. I appreciate all of your love and support every single day ♥♥♥
Ok so anyway, concerning my long absence I have nothing else to tell you beautiful ladies other than the fact that I have a life outside of AFF just like all of you. Back when I was younger, I had all the time in the world to write updates but now that I'm all old and gross I have many responsiblites to deal with. Not only that but it's pretty difficult to sit down and write when no one in your family knows you write stories. I hope you all understand where I'm coming from here. I take a long time to update my stories but one way or another it'll get done eventually :-)
So now concerning the STORY, wooo wonder who that little girl is *wiggles fingers* And yaaas finally squeezed bootilicious Sehunnie into the story again. I missed writing about him TvT And oh my goodness... Luhan... My Luhannie parted ways with EXO hasn't he? Well, I wish him and Yifan the best of luck wherever they are!! But omg guys... have you noticed how in my fanfic Baekhyun has a girlfriend and Luhan and Yifan have both passed away O.O Uhhh... no comment there........
ONE LAST THING HERE BEFORE I LET YOU ALL GO!!!
The wonderful TheWritingGenie was nice enough to write a small little drabble for my story. I won't say much else, so just check it out yourselves :-)
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