You sighed into the pillow and hugged your blanket closer. The air was cold but your bed was warm; so was your blanket and so was your pillow. And you were probably already late for call time but everything was just so comfy and warm and you couldn’t will yourself to think about what you were supposed to do: get up and get ready.

You let out a hum as an arm pulled you close to another warm mass, and you snuggled right into Minseok’s chest. His breath fanned all over your face as he let out a chuckle at your childishness. 

“Sarang, you’re gonna be late.” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Who cares?” He smelled of faint laundry detergent and more of the comforting scent that he had. Yup—it can make you sleep like a baby.

“I do. You’re gonna sing for me tonight. You promised.” You felt him plant his lips on your shoulder and moved up. “You.” Another kiss. “Pro-” he mouthed against your jaw and pecked it. “—mised.” He buried his face on the crook of your neck and sighed. You just continued sleeping because goddamn you were tired. “How many times do I have to kiss you to wake you up?” he pouted (even if you couldn’t see, you knew) and nudged your cheek with his nose. “Ten~” he whined. “Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten—” you groaned.

“Okay I’m up.” He managed to steal another peck on your lips as you sat up, disoriented and groggy.

“It’s time for the princess’s royal bath!” he stood up and pulled you to stand up, pushing you into the bathroom. “And then when the princess is done, she shall have her royal breakfast!” he shut the door behind you and you could hear him scurry off into the kitchen.

As you stepped under the hot water from the shower head, you thought about what you did in your past life to receive someone like Minseok. Dating an idol was hard, to be honest. Constantly having dates at your place in fear of having your face on the front page of tabloids, you were always among the crowd and barely let in backstage, you always had to keep your calls and chats to a minimum because ‘Only the boys and manager hyung know so if the company finds out we’re dead.’  But aside from all of that, he never forgot to tell you how much he loved you. He always found a way.

And you smiled a bit widely as you washed the shampoo off your hair. Today was gonna be a great day because not only were you performing—Minseok was going to watch today. It was his first time to see you perform because today was his only day off and you were singing one of your favorite songs today.

 

 

“Is the royal highness enjoying her breakfast?” he asked through a mouthful of fried rice and kimchi. You giggled and nodded.

“Thank you, my chubby prince.” He frowned and your giggle turned into a full laugh.

“That’s foul.” He stopped chewing his rice.

“But you love me.” You gave him a couple of kissy faces before a spoonful of rice was shoved into your mouth.

“Your royal highness please do eat more.” He bowed and nodded before returning to his food.

**

“AGAIN! AGAIN!” your music teacher screamed and threw the sheet music onto the piano. “The guitars are messing it up! And you—you’re the vocalist but you’re getting this verse wrong, again!” he sighed and collected his papers before laying his fingers on the black and white keys of the piano.

It was your second hour of practice and exactly three hours before the show. Everyone else was tense and on edge, still greedy for perfection. The violinists were going too fast, the drummer was a beat behind and even the guitarists were mixing the tabs up. It was almost chaotic and you wondered where all those days of practice went. Your throat was starting to ache –you needed more water and rest. You knew that you were in no position to complain because if it were Minseok, he’d actually just laugh it off and rehearse like it was nothing.

You shook your head. You had to be professional and you needed the endurance. There was no room for complaints—you needed to perfect this right now.

**

To: Ten
From: Minseok

IT’S TEN’S SHOWTIME! Good luck I love you <3 

You giggled as you reread his message for the nth time this night. You were already done with hair, outfit and make up so you were just waiting to be called onstage. Your hands were extra clammy this time and your quivering increased. Trying to shut all worst case scenarios out, you gulped down a bottle of water.

 “Ten, it’s five minutes till our turn.” You nodded and adjusted your whole outfit again, pulling your skirt up and down to the perfect level. You grabbed the wireless microphone from the stage crew and waited for the dance troupe’s performance to end. You took a deep breath.

Even if it was your second performance in this kind of crowd, you were still so nervous. The fact that you just crammed this whole number in one week was scary because you thought about the endless possibilities of a screw up, the eyes of the audience—heck you were even scared of Minseok lying about liking your performance tonight. You took another deep breath and shook all those thoughts off 

“You’re on!” the stage crew gave you a nudge as the stage lights dimmed. You skipped to the mic stand center stage and wiped your hands on your neon pink skirt before clutching the mic in your hands. This was it. You could hear everyone clapping and the misplaced shouts of your friends as the audience started to quiet down. A single spotlight flashed and in all the audience’s eyes, you were separated from the whole band. An angel from heaven who came to serenade them all.

Where you are, I will be there too
Where you go, I will go there too
I smile for you every day,
I pray for you

You searched for him in the crowd, smoothly going through the verses as practiced. You grabbed the micstand with you as you moved to the left side of the stage, dancing along to the guitarist.

Heaven Heaven Heaven
Heaven Heaven Heaven
If we’re together
we will never cry never never cry

Something was wrong and you knew that it wasn’t from you. You were singing full force beside the guitarist who looked surprised himself as well. The volume was getting lower and lower until you sounded like background music.

“And here are the alumni and alumnae of Kyunghee University!” The spotlight returned to the center of the stage where Han Ga In starts strutting down the stage and going to the right. You looked at your music teacher at the piano who just gestured to you to continue. Seeing the numerous idols didn’t even make you starstruck—it made you mad. Your blood was boiling and you were holding the microphone tighter.

It was all unexpected. You weren’t notified of being cut off from your performance—you didn’t even know that they’d present all the “notable” graduates of your university. No one, not even your teacher, had full knowledge that you’d end up as background music for them. All those days of cramming practices were put into waste all because of a misunderstanding. (But it still made your blood boil.) The dressing room was silent. No one dared to slice through the pregnant silence that came as soon as you entered because if they did, it looked like hell was waiting for them. You ignored everyone, even your music teacher who still congratulated you. All you needed was to hug Minseok.

Heaven Heaven Heaven
Heaven Heaven Heaven
Forever, together
never gonna be alone
Oh, so alone

You were thankful for the chance that you were still able to finish the song even if they lowered the volume to the point that your voice sounded irrelevant. It was better than being kicked out of the stage, it was better than screwing a verse up but it wasn’t good to be your first performance in front of Minseok.

It was saddening to the point that it made your heart heavy. Minseok, who gives his all every practice and performance, who practices until late at night; Minseok who strives for perfection would of course, of course, be disappointed. Somehow deep inside of you, you knew that this was your entire fault somehow. You should’ve invited him to another show. You should’ve practiced more then maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t think of cutting you off. You knew your performance lacked. After the first chorus, your voice just fell behind the names of the idols that stole the show and you knew that he was disappointed.

**

The ride home was quiet. You were inside M’s van beside Minseok at the very back, your eyes concentrated on the road. Even if they greeted you and said that your performance was great, it still didn’t convince you out of your moping state. As much as you tried to give them a genuine smile, all you did was give them a curt nod and a small smile. You were still thinking deep and hard on how to erase your existence.

The van stopped in your condo building’s parking lot and you ran to the elevators with a hurried goodbye. Minseok quietly nodded and followed behind you, still deciding to leave you alone to your dangerous thoughts. The both of you entered the elevator and as soon as the metal doors slid close, your tears started falling. All the frustration and hurt finally flowed out of your system. You felt Minseok wrap his arm around your shoulders and lead you out of the elevator. You couldn’t even speak properly. As much as you tried, you cried harder as you opened your mouth.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t enough, they didn’t even tell us we were gonna be background music for the parade. It and I ruined my first performance for you and I ruined your night because I didn’t practice enough—” he cut you off with a kiss.

“No, no it’s fine.” He whispered. “You were great okay? I heard you loud and clear and I was speechless all I did was stare and just… listen.” He rubbed circles on your back. “And if I could have, I would have rushed into the technical booth myself and turn the volume up just so the whole world could hear you sing.” He kissed your forehead and smiled gently. You looked up at his grin and your heart swelled. “Don’t ever think of me getting disappointed with whatever you’re gonna do for me because I won’t.” he kisses you intensely, all his love pouring into the kiss. “I love you.”