This story is basically the same as the first version, but the ending is different. I marked the spot where the different ending starts with the same line that's below, so if you have already read the first version, you can skip straight there. Enjoy :)

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Matsumoto Takanori, or rather known as Ruki, worked in a hospital. He, however, was not a nurse or a doctor - he actually didn't even get money from what he did, because he wouldn't accept it.

Ruki spent time with the patients who were bound to die, and who everyone knew would die. He never gave them hope, or convinced them they wouldn't die, because that would've been purely cruel. He reminded them of joys of the life and how good their own life had been. He talked with them, gave them a nice way to pass on - especially if they had no relatives or friends to do the same.

Mostly Ruki's so-called 'customers' were old people who had not much time left. Usually those people's families visited them, though, so Ruki wasn't needed. Then there were people who were very ill or had something wrong with their heart - those people were usually very depressed because they would die before their time. The ones Ruki most pitied were the youngest. Children who were meant to die from their very birth, and sometimes teens whose families didn't even to bother come see them.

Despite all the horrible things Ruki had seen and experienced through his job, none of them had broken him. He was a strong person, and usually wasn't very affected when one of his patients died, because he tried not to grow too close to them. But there was one young man who he became too close to, and who took his heart - or more like he gave his heart to.

One day Ruki was told to go to a certain patient. That patient was called Shiroyama Yuu - even though he insisted to be called Aoi - and he had, for his whole life, had a weak heart. It was just a matter of time when his heart would completely give up, stop beating life into him, and that would most likely happen in only few days. None of his relatives seemed to care enough to come visit him and he said he had no friends.

Ruki went to Aoi's room alone, as usual, since he never wanted to have anyone to disturb him and his patients. He sat next to Aoi's bed, smiled and opened his mouth to say something, but before he could do so, Aoi scowled and snapped: "I know I'm gonna die, there's no need to babble about it."

Ruki closed his mouth in shock, his eyes wide and his expression surprised. Never had a patient been like this to him. Usually his patients were depressed, very upset about their upcoming death. They often cried and sometimes asked: "Am I really going to die?" They also asked such things as "Does it hurt?" and "Is there any way to prevent it?"

To those questions, Ruki always answered calmly like a professional. He said some things couldn't be helped, and that if they would really die, they at least had some good memories to go with. He would say it will be probably easier than going to sleep, that they would barely feel anything as it happened. And he would say some things that couldn't be prevented could be at least made easier.

But never had anyone actually admitted they were going to die, that fast and with that attitude. Never had anyone faced it just like that, fearless of it. But Ruki got quickly over the shock, returned the soft smile on his lips and answered: "Well, if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to talk about it."

"Don't play some psychiatrist, I've gotten enough of them during my lifetime and I'm happy to put an end to it all", Aoi spat, clearly annoyed by Ruki's presence. The shorter male's eyebrow twitched a little - he had never been treated like this - and he replied: "I'm not trying to play a psychiatrist, I'm just here in case you want company. May I ask why you've had psychiatrists?"

"No reasons, really... People just think my mind is unstable because I'm accepting the fact I die... They think I want to die. That I'm some sort of an emo and that I cut my wrists and attempt a suicide whenever I'm left alone", the raven explained bluntly, sighing and leaning back a little.

"I understand how you feel. It's not really nice to be treated as someone you aren't", Ruki said and glanced at his feet. Aoi raised his eyebrow and snorted quietly. As Ruki looked at him curiously and pouted, amusement dripping from his voice Aoi said: "So you've been through that too?"

"Well... Yeah, I suppose. I always got straight A's in school, and my family treated me as a child genius or some like that. They wanted me to become a doctor or a scientist or whatever that includes hard studying and brains. They wanted to change me into someone that's not me", Ruki explained quietly. Now that the memories came back to him, he felt a bit down.

"Then who are you in reality?" Aoi asked. A faint smile appeared on Ruki's lips, and he looked down again. "I've always loved art. I love painting and drawing, I love writing and reading, I love making and listening to music... I... I guess I want to make my living out of them."

"Then why don't you do so? Talking to people who're basically already dead doesn't seem like a dandy career to me", Aoi pointed out. He was clearly amused and joking, but his voice remained calm and his expression blunt. Ruki, however, couldn't keep a dorky snort from passing his lips. "This isn't a career, I'm doing it purely from my free will. No payment, no nothing."

"Well that's even worse, isn't it? Why're you doing it?" Aoi asked curiously.

"Because not all people are like you. Not all of them accept death just like that - and they shouldn't", Ruki explained. Aoi just quietly said "Huh" and turned his gaze to his pale hands that were placed on his lap.

"Hey, you said you like music..." Aoi muttered. As Ruki nodded, he continued: "Do you happen to have a guitar?"

"Of course I do", Ruki replied with a smile. Aoi bit his pierced lip and asked: "I understand if you don't want to do so... But you're coming over tomorrow too, so would you mind letting me play the guitar? I just want to play one before I die..."

"If that's all you want, I can do it. Sometimes people ask to confess their love to someone for them, or to give them something I possibly can't. But if your wish is so simple and easy to complete... I think it's fine." Ruki's voice was soft and understanding, as his smile was.

"Thanks." For the first time, Aoi smiled too. It wasn't one of those small fake smiles Ruki saw on people's lips when they tried to convince they were fine, even though they were more depressed than ever. Because it wasn't only Aoi's lips smiling, but his eyes. Just a tiny glimpse of joy made his eyes so much happier than they had been before, it made them sparkle and brought up their dark color. They had spirit in them.

And with that, the tension that had been surrounding them when Ruki first entered the room, faded away completely. This was the first time ever Ruki had a normal chat with a patient. He didn't have to talk about death or love or anything, just... chit-chat. Small-talk. Whatever you want to call it.

Aoi told about his childhood, which was quite rough - he had never been accepted by anyone except a friend who had died in an accident two years ago. "That's probably why I'm not really afraid of dying", Aoi said to that, referring to the old friend he would meet as he passed away. He did point out, though, that his friend was in Heaven while he would probably end up in Hell. He also told Ruki his dream. He had always wanted to be a guitarist and play in a band. He loved music, and wanted to make other people happy by playing it.

And to Aoi, Ruki told about his friends and job. He told Aoi about how his best friends, Reita and Uruha, always either argued like a married couple or acted like they were brothers. He told about the people he met in his job, how depressed they were and how he cheered them up.

"Y'know... I thought a guy like you would be just like all psychiatrists... I was wrong", Aoi pointed out when it was already evening - and their conversation had started in the late morning. Ruki had even cancelled a few other meetings (those patients still had a lot of time left and they had their families with them, so Ruki figured it wouldn't hurt to cancel) just to be with Aoi.

"Hey, don't you have some other places to go to?" Aoi asked as he watched the sun set. Ruki had opened the curtains and the window so that the faint, cool breezes of wind would be let in and the beautiful scene of the sun setting behind the mountains could be seen. Considering they were in a hospital, the scenery was absolutely breathtaking.

"Well, not really, not today", Ruki lied awkwardly, fidgeting on his seat.

"You're lying." Aoi smiled softly, seeing through Ruki way too easily. The shorter male pouted and muttered: "Well sorry for wanting to keep company to you... All the others have their families visiting them, I could as well be here with you since you don't have anyone."

The raven laughed and asked: "So I'm that special, huh?"

"W- Well..." Ruki muttered, a blush spreading on his cheeks. He realized that Aoi really was special. Maybe not to anyone else, but to him. Whenever Aoi smiled, Ruki blushed faintly. Whenever Aoi laughed, Ruki's heart skipped a beat. And whenever Aoi looked at him with his dark, intelligent eyes, Ruki could feel something in the pit of his stomach - and it felt... nice.

And when Ruki finally left after saying good-bye to Aoi in the late evening, when the moon was already shining against the jet-black sky, he came to notice he felt lonely at his home. He felt lonely without the person he had just met the same day. He felt lonely without Aoi, who was the first person ever to make his heart run a marathon.

He loved Aoi.

He loved Aoi, and there was nothing that could change it.

For that night, he just lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling and pondering about things - mostly Aoi. He cried because he knew Aoi would leave so soon, because he had no time to spend with him. It made him want to die too.

The next day he took his favourite acoustic guitar with him, and headed straight to Aoi's room. He had cancelled all meetings for today too, because again, Aoi was the only one who had no family and friends to spend the time with.

"You brought the guitar", Aoi noted with a smile as Ruki stepped in.

"Yeah. I want to hear you play", Ruki answered truthfully. He gave Aoi the guitar and sat next to him, only closer this time. Aoi corrected his position a bit and then tried a few notes on the guitar. Liking how it sounded, he started playing. A wider smile spread on his lips and he put more passion into the music. He closed his eyes and ignored everything aside from the guitar and the sound of it. He opened his eyes again when Ruki commented quietly: "You're really good..."

"Well, I've played since fifth grade", Aoi chuckled. Ruki pulled his legs up on the chair he was sitting on, and placed his chin on his knees. He smiled and asked: "And how long is that?"

"About twenty years", the raven answered. He started playing a different song, this one being something Ruki had never heard before.

"What's the song?" Ruki asked. This time Aoi didn't stop playing while he answered - it seemed his fingers worked automatically, like it was natural for him to play this song. "It's called D.L.N. It's my own song. It doesn't have any lyrics, though, and I'd need a full band to play the whole song."

"D.L.N? What does that stand for?" Ruki asked curiously.

"Dark Long Night." Aoi closed his eyes again and ignored Ruki, who didn't ask anything anymore, just stared at the raven's slender fingers strumming the guitar. The sunlight hit Aoi's pale skin, making it look almost white. Just now Ruki noticed how long Aoi's eyelashes were. They could be seen really well since they were so dark compared to his skin. Ruki also took a notice of the small amount of make-up Aoi wore, and saw how well Aoi took care of his hair. It made Ruki smile how much Aoi cared for his looks. Then again, Ruki himself wore a lot more make-up and his hair was even more styled than Aoi's.

For several hours it continued like that, Ruki watching and listening to Aoi playing, and the latter focusing on the guitar and the guitar only. Aoi finally stopped playing when he felt someone fall on him. He opened his eyes and looked down to see Ruki, who was half on the bed and half on the chair. His breath was steady and quiet, nearly un-noticeable snores escaping his lips. The sight was absolutely adorable, and it made Aoi put the guitar away and lift Ruki fully on the bed. The shorter male wasn't woken up by this, and his only reaction just included snuggling closer to Aoi. His head rested on the raven's chest and his arms were loosely wrapped around his torso.

Aoi smiled and brought his arms around Ruki's small figure. He was wearing a rather baggy sweater, and it made him look really tiny, really young. His eyes fluttering close once again, Aoi pulled Ruki closer and inhaled the scent of his hair. Yesterday Ruki had told him about his hatred towards strawberries - traumatic childhood experiences - so Aoi was surprised to find that Ruki actually used strawberry-scented shampoo.

All of sudden, Aoi didn't want to die anymore. He no longer accepted the death like he had done before. He didn't want his heart to stop beating, he didn't want to stop living in this world he had always thought was so cruel.

When Kai was still alive, Aoi had someone to live for. Kai had been abused by his father, and Aoi wanted to protect him from everything, because for him, Kai was like a brother. Aoi didn't want Kai to get hurt anymore, and often let Kai stay at his home so that his father wouldn't lay his hand on the teen. But one day Kai didn't come like he had promised. Aoi had tried calling Kai, but the latter didn't answer. So, Aoi ran all the way to Kai's house just to smell alcohol, sweat, blood... and death.

Kai's father, who Aoi thought was the most disgusting creature in the universe, was nowhere to be seen, but in the alcohol- and blood-stained living room there were more empty bottles than usual. There was a gun on the filthy floor, but that was not what Aoi first saw. Because not too far away from that gun, was Kai attempting to breath, crying in pain.

Aoi was in shock, and would've been frozen completely if it wasn't for his dearest friend nearing the death. He dashed to the brunette, not knowing what to do.

"A- Aoi", Kai whispered. "Am I... Am I going to die?"

"No... No, you won't... You'll live... It's gonna be okay", Aoi muttered in panic. He took his shirt of and put it against the wound on Kai's lower body. The latter screamed in pain and more tears streamed on his cheeks that were already wet from sweat and tears.

"I- It hurts, Aoi, it hurts so much!" Kai cried. Aoi started crying too, and he tried to convince Kai he was going to be okay. Just then it hit him; he was supposed to call the ambulance. With his free hand, he shakily took his cellphone and dialed the number quickly.

But when the help arrived, it was too late. Kai no longer breathed, his heart long longer beat. Aoi was tightly holding him in an embrace. He wanted to believe Kai wasn't dead, he wanted to hear his voice again, he wanted to hear him laugh again. He even missed Kai's bad jokes!

When the people who had arrived tried to take Kai away from him, he screamed and didn't let them touch his friend. Eventually they had to put him down by force, and the next time he saw Kai was at the funeral. He had tried holding a speech, but broke down in tears again. Ever since then, Aoi wanted to die more than anything, he would've done anything just to see Kai again. He lost his will to live and the heart attacks came more often as he stopped eating and didn't leave his room. He was soon transferred completely to the hospital, where he was forced to eat again. Sometimes, during the night he saw Kai. He came there to sit beside him, unlike everyone else. They talked all night along, and Kai climbed on his bed when he got tired, just like before.

Kai started appearing more often, even during day. Aoi was starting to think it was because he was getting closer to death, and it made him happy. But after he met Ruki, he hadn't seen Kai once.

A few tears formed in Aoi's eyes as he thought of this, and he pulled Ruki just as close as he had pulled Kai that faithful day. From the sudden movement, Ruki's eyes opened and he could only see the thin fabric covering Aoi's chest. He felt his hair getting moist and the arms he was in were shaking violently. "A- Aoi...?"

Aoi's grip on him loosened a little, allowing Ruki to back up a little to see Aoi's eyes red from crying, and his cheeks moist. Ruki was utterly confused when he asked: "Is everything okay...?"

"Y- Yeah... I just remembered something..." Aoi muttered.

"Is it... Is it your friend?" Ruki asked, but regretted his words immediately as he saw Aoi's expression darken and his gaze lowering. They both remained silent. Ruki hugged Aoi tightly and tried to apologize, but no voice came from his sore, dry throat. Even though he had no idea how he ended up sleeping in Aoi's embrace, he only wanted to know why Aoi had been crying.

For over an hour Ruki stayed on Aoi's lap and let him cry on him. It wasn't like it was uncomfortable anyway, it was actually nice being so close to Aoi - if it wasn't for the depressed mood that lingered in the air.

"Sorry... I just... My friend... I remembered how he..." Aoi could only stutter bits of his explanation, but luckily Ruki understood.

"It's okay, I understand it's hard to lose a dear friend", Ruki mumbled. He wiped a few strands of hair away from Aoi's face and smiled. "Just don't forget you can always talk about it with someone if you want to, okay?"

When Aoi's expression changed to very angry, scary, even, Ruki pulled away a little and asked: "W- What's wrong?"

"Ruki... I like you. A lot. But never say that again", Aoi said. His voice was calm, but very cold and it made shivers run down Ruki's spine. Aoi's eyes had somewhat a madman's spark in them when he continued: "If you do, you will seriously regret it."

"Okay, I... I understand", Ruki whimpered.

"Good", Aoi breathed shakily and looked out of the window. He didn't say anything else, and Ruki wondered if he had somehow reminded Aoi of all the psychiatrists he had been through.

Ruki guessed right, Aoi really had been reminded of that. Whenever people said he could always 'talk about it' it made him want to rip their organs out. He hated psychiatrists, more than anything. They were all fakers, they fed him lies and tried forcing him get past Kai. They said they cared. They said everyone cared, they convinced Aoi was loved and he had all reasons to live.

That wasn't true. No one loved Aoi - or that's what he thought - and without Kai, his life had no reason to live. Or better described, without a person to protect his life had no meaning. But oh, no, those people didn't know anything about life. Actually, Aoi always thought they had no heart. The people who really had hearts were forced to give them away to psychiatrists.

And then they said they listen and that Aoi could always tell them his problems and worries. In reality, they wouldn't give a and they just took money from doing nothing. In reality, when their patients talked to them, they only dreamt about how they would use the payment. That's why Aoi lied too. He said he was okay. He said he had gotten past Kai. He convinced them there was no need for them. He did everything to get rid of them.

And now, Ruki, who he had thought was different, repeated the exact same thing. He knew Ruki was different, but bringing back the bad memories was not a good idea. It's not like he would've really hurt Ruki on purpose, but he might've done it unconsciously.

"Ruki..." Aoi muttered. Ruki lifted his gaze and asked: "What is it?"

"I... I don't want to die anymore", the raven whispered.

"Why not?" Ruki asked curiously.

"I've found a light that I can live for again", Aoi explained softly. Smiling a bit, Ruki said: "Really?"

"Yeah... I feel... afraid. Because if I die, I won't ever see that light again", Aoi stuttered. Ruki wiped a couple of strands of hair behind Aoi's air, smiled and said quietly: "There are things that cannot be prevented. One of them is death; everyone dies at some point. Some earlier than they're supposed to, some painfully, some don't even get to see anything before they're taken by death. Many die a natural death, live a long and full life... Even your light will die at some point, sooner or later."

"I know, but... I just... I want to be here longer... with my light..." Aoi's voice was quieter than a whisper and Ruki could barely hear him.

They both fell silent, and Ruki gazed at Aoi's dark eyes filled with salty tears while the raven just stared blankly into emptiness, most likely wondering if there was anything on the other side. If death hurt. If he could ever see his loved ones.

As a single tear rolled down Aoi's cheek, Ruki's eyes followed the glistering way it had made, all the way to Aoi's lips. Those full lips, that had a piercing attached to the lower one, suddenly looked so very kissable to Ruki. All out of blue he just wanted to touch them with his own, tenderly kiss, caress them...

And not even clearly knowing what he did, Ruki climbed on the bed, placing his hand on Aoi's shoulder and leaning so close to the older male their chests were brushing against each other. Aoi only stared at Ruki calmly, catching every detail of him. The slightly parted, plump lips, his smooth skin covered by a thin layer of make-up, the long eyelashes brushing his skin as his eyes fluttered close...

Aoi closed his eyes too and his hand made its way to Ruki's waist, pulling him gently close, into a tender kiss. Ruki had thought he would be taking the control of the kiss as Aoi seemed so hurt, but Ruki suddenly almost like fell numb as their lips touched, and he was completely under Aoi's mercy.

The kiss wasn't long or heated in any way. Ruki wanted it to last longer, but Aoi gently withdrew from him soon. Something was clearly wrong since his expression was pained, a bit worried and he let out a quiet moan.

"Aoi? Aoi, what's wrong?" Ruki quickly asked and the raven's cheek.

"I- It's nothing. My chest just... it hurts a bit. But I'm fine now, the pain is gone", Aoi answered and flashed a quick smile.

"Should I get a doctor?" Ruki worriedly asked.

"No, you don't have to. It always hurts when it starts beating harder than usual..." Aoi muttered.

"Oh..."

"Ruki", Aoi said again.

"What is it?" Ruki replied. Aoi's cheeks were flushed hot pink and he mumbled: "I think I might love you."

"That's not a problem", Ruki said and now sat completely on Aoi's lap. He smiled, rested his head on the older man's shoulder and whispered: "I think I might love you too."

"It's weird. I... I didn't know it was possible in such short time", Aoi said, placing his chin on Ruki's head.

"I had no idea either. But I guess it's possible", Ruki murmured against the smooth skin of Aoi's neck.

"God must hate me. As soon as it's confirmed I'll die soon I meet someone to live for... It's not fair", Aoi said, in verge of crying. Ruki kissed his neck and pointed out: "At least you die knowing someone loves you."

"Kai loved me", Aoi whispered. To this Ruki had nothing to say, so he merely bit his lower lip and snuggled closer to Aoi as the latter wrapped his arms gently around him.

"I've never loved anyone like this before. I- I never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I'm distant to my family, I don't have a pet and no friends close enough to say I love them. So... my first love is a dying man. It hurts", Ruki said after a long while of silence. He felt a lump in his throat and he clutched tightly onto Aoi, trying to hold back his tears but only to let them roll down his cheeks.

Aoi said nothing, just tilted Ruki's head and caught the glistering tears with his lips, Ruki's hair soothingly as he hiccupped.

"I'm gonna kill myself", Ruki whispered.

"What?!" Aoi asked, not believing what he just heard.

"I'll hang myself. Jump off a bridge. I'll throw myself in front of a ing truck. I just want to be with you", Ruki continued, sobbing violently.

"No, don't... Please, Ruki, continue living. For me", Aoi muttered and cupped Ruki's wet cheek.

"There's no point..." Ruki hiccupped.

"Live for me. Visit all the places I've wanted to go to. Read every book I've wanted to read. Watch all the movies I could've found interesting. Listen to every single song that I would've listened to, and compose all music that I couldn't. When you're done with all that... you can come to me. Promise me that."

"I promise", Ruki said after a while of thinking.

"Pinky promise?" Aoi stated, lifting his little finger up for Ruki to see. Ruki snorted and did the pinky promise with Aoi, promising he'd live his life to fullest when Aoi would die.

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When Ruki went to Aoi's room the next day, it was completely empty aside from himself and a nurse who was picking some stuff from Aoi's night stand. Ruki's heart skipped a beat. Aoi... Aoi wasn't dead, was he?

"Where's Aoi?" Ruki asked quietly, so quietly that he needed to repeat the question before the nurse heard and noticed him.

"Eh? You didn't know? Shiroyama-san isn't with us anymore", the nurse stated calmly.

"WHAT?!" Ruki screamed, tears forming into his eyes. No... No... Aoi, please don't be dead, please don't leave me! The nurse blinked and said: "Yes, the doctors figured the reason behind his attacks and now he has a proper medication so he's allowed to live at home."

"He... He's alive?" Ruki whispered. He had never been so happy in his life. He could just cry tears of joy and squeeze the nurse tightly before running away from the hospital.

He got Aoi's address from the reception and immediately headed there, crying his whole way to Aoi's apartment. When he pressed the doorbell, his eyes were red and puffy and he could barely see.

"Ruki?" Aoi said in shock as he opened the door to see the shorter male. He laughed as Ruki threw himself on him and continued crying harder.

"Are you so upset about me being still alive?" Aoi joked and closed the door behind him and Ruki. The shorter man shook his head and sobbed against Aoi.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

My heart pounding against my chest,
my breath heavy and tears falling down my cheeks,
I embrace you warmly,
breathing in your scent and catching every glimpse of you.
So overwhelmed, so glad and happy,
I confess my love to you,
swearing I'll never leave you.

This is the final of a long show
of solitude and depression,
of time making a fool out of me.

Because from now on,
we'll always stay together

This is a new beginning