Chapter 26
Anonymous ConfessionsMinho's POV
It was beginning to scare me; the way he purposely avoided eye contact, how he practically flinched at the sound of my voice. There was a sickening feeling building up in my gut about the entirety of the situation. I knew he was mad, disappointed in me for something or other, but I had no idea what I had done.
That’s the only thing that had stopped me from apologizing.
I felt as if I should, as if it was because of me that he was becoming so distant, but nothing in my mind clicked when I thought about it.
“Oppa,” Krystal called me, her smiling face dropping as I watched Taemin’s retreating figure leave school building. Only seconds ago I was joking around with her, and now I was lost in my own world of worry. “Oppa,” she said again, this time in a huge, heaving sigh. I glanced back at her. “He’ll be fine,” she reassured, but there was a hint of pleading that I didn’t quite understand.
I could tell she was trying her best to be good girlfriend to me, and I also knew for a fact that my somewhat strange behavior was starting to take a toll on her. I nodded, a grateful smile making its way onto my face. “I know,” I breathed out. Before I could drag our conversation to the pits of awkward worry, I changed the subject. “So, how about getting some dinner later?” I asked. If there was anything that could take my mind off of Taemin, it would be a restaurant, Krystal, and two steaming plates of food.
Her face immediately brightened at the mention of a date. “What did you have in mind?” she asked excitedly.
“That,” I smiled, bringing my index finger up to playfully tap her nose, “is a surprise.”
~•~
It hadn’t worked.
I sat in the plush seat of the booth that Krystal and I had occupied, nodding along to one of her stories. She waved her arms enthusiastically and I laughed at the whole nonsense of it all.
We were at a sit down Italian style restaurant, our plates of pasta sitting in front of us, half eaten in favor of conversation. The food was delicious, the diner had a friendly atmosphere, and Krystal was beaming in happiness.
Goddammit, it hadn’t worked.
Not yet anyway, but it didn’t seem like things were going to get any better. I still couldn't immerse myself in the conversation, still couldn't shake something else from my mind.
I shoved all of my nagging down and out, focusing all of my attention on the girl in front of me.
“-And that’s when I was like, ‘It’s not even here’!” Krystal laughed out. I chuckled along with her, if only to not ruin the mood.
“So, Minho, tell me a bit about yourself,” Krystal smiled.
My mind went blank. Usually, I had no problems answering questions like that, but it was the simple fact that she wasn’t asking out of casual manner, that she was asking as my girlfriend, that prevented me from speaking. She expected me to say something deep, something sentimental. If anything, I felt myself have absolutely no desire to speak at all.
It was only when she chuckled awkwardly that I realized I hadn’t spoken.
I coughed.
“I like sports.”
It was one of the stupidest things I could have said. I mentally face palmed myself as I cringed.
Krystal laughed a short, undignified snort of sorts. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment.
“Of course you do.” She cracked up, clutching her stomach as she continued to laugh. “I meant something that I don’t already know about you.”
And there it was; the sudden make believe scenario that I pictured myself in. Krystal was comfortable, outgoing, and having fun, while I felt like a client on his first job interview.
“I…” It wasn’t like I didn’t know anything about myself, I just couldn’t think. Anything about me that actually mattered wasn’t something I wanted to share with Krystal.
Suddenly I felt sick. “I have to go.” I said, bowing apologetically as I slid out of the booth.
“What-” She stated but I cut her off.
“I’m really sorry.” I said, fishing out my wallet and slapping a few bills on the table. “See you tomorrow.”
I walked away, out of the restaurant and down the street. I was far enough away from my own house that I’d have to take a bus, but at the moment I really didn’t feel like waiting around. I decided to walk instead.
As I did, passing by a multitude of other restaurants and miscellaneous stores, I felt myself become heavily confused. I had been out on a date, just been with a great girl, yet she hadn’t been the one on my mind.
I knew, somewhere deep down, who I had been thinking of, yet I refused to admit it. I didn’t dare to even think about it, pushing the matter to the back of my head before it could consume my thoughts.
I took a quick glance at my cell phone and checked the time. 9:37. I still had quite a walk to go.
~•~
When I finally reached my house an hour later, I wasn’t in the mood for anything at all. I muttered a quick hello to my parents, ignoring their worried questions, and headed for my room.
Even though I had denied and ignored every fleeting thought I had, the uneasy feeling still wouldn’t leave my stomach. I shook my head as I shut my door, closing my eyes for a moment.
I sighed and opened them. I took off my tee shirt and replaced it with a worn wife beater, trading my jeans for a pair of loose sweats before plopping down on my bed.
I lay for awhile, thinking of nothing, simply staring at my ceiling. Out of habit, I checked my digital alarm clock. 11:11. My stomach churned.
I wish I had never gotten that letter.
The sudden wish startled me. I didn’t know where it came from, really. It was ironic how only a few nights ago I was wishing to find the mystery sender. Besides, all that letter had done to me was help me meet someone special.
And make me lose someone else.
I scratched the second thought out, the feeling in my gut never really going away. I didn’t need to think weird things at this time of night.
I breathed deeply before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.
Anneyong ^^
Oh god I'm getting lazy ;-; My updates are seriously lagging and I don't really have anything to say for myself OTL
And tbh, I feel like this fic rambles a lot and never gets to the point ._. Like this chapter. orz. But yeah, next set of Taemin/Minho chapters are gonna be dramatic to make up for this set. RAH.
Also, I decided not to do anything in honor of 300 subs because in all honesty, I feel like I should stop obsessing over my number of subscribers. Mianhae guys ><
On a completely unrelated note, I go back to school tomorrow. Today is offically my last day of freedom and it's already pretty much over -__- Not to mention that I've still barely even started my summer homework.
OKAY. Who else is watching 아름다운 그대에게 (To The Beautiful You)? I can't even wait until they update it *^* On a side note, HWANG KWANGHEE. He's adorable. :D I keep spazzing over him and Minho~~
Until next time~
xoxo
This is a very late message, but if you haven't checked out my blog or profile yet, I'm currently on an indefinite hiatus. I'm not sure when I'll update. Sorry!
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