I sat quietly at the park bench. I just had my last class for today and I feel so drained. I fished my IPod out of my bag and plugged my earphones on. Some ballads would make me relax a bit. I leaned my back comfortably against the cold steel bench and closed my eyes. Soft piano keys sent comforting feels on me. I sighed in content and still kept my eyes shut. At least I can shut off the world by closing my eyes temporarily. I felt someone sat beside me. I didn’t mind that person as long as he won’t bother me. The anonymous companion scooted closer to me. The next thing he did was, he snatched the other earphone and plug it into his own ear. And then he leaned his head on my shoulder. I didn’t react at the sudden skinship for it doesn’t feel that foreign to me. I knew that person since we were young and I wouldn’t make a mistake for assuming that the one sitting next to me is him. He would be the only person who’d do such act for he is my best friend.

“You don’t miss me Woonie, do you?” He asked.

“Babo. Of course I miss you. And don’t call me ‘Woonie’ ! I am older than you Cho Kyuhyun.”

“Just asking. I know you miss me so much and I miss you more Woonie~”

I opened my eyes and locked gazes with his Chocolate Brown orbs. “Call me ‘hyung’ or else I’ll kick you and get mad at you.”

“You can’t get mad at me Woonie. You know you can’t.” He grinned at me childishly.

“I should actually hate you…”

“I really can’t because..”  I sighed in defeat. “Arasseo. You’re such a spoiled brat.”

“Woonie, I have to go now. Sungmin hyung is waiting for me. Good thing I saw you while I’m on my way to meet him. I hope we can have time to catch things up. See at the dorm Woonie~!”

                As soon as he stood up I grabbed the hem of his shirt as if it was my lifeline. We caught each other’s gazes that seemed like it lasted for an eternity. I pleased silently. I don’t want him to go… I wish he wouldn’t but he would definitely go…

“The more I embrace you, it hurts…”

“What is it Woonie?”

I slowly loosened my grip on his shirt and looked away, “Nothing… I was about to ask something.”

“Go ahead Woonie.” He smiled.

“I should actually push it back…”

“I forgot it already. Just don’t mind me.”

“You’re getting weirder than usual Woonie.”

“Call me ‘hyung’ idiot. What part of ‘call me hyung’ that your brain can’t comprehend?!”

“Everything.” He smirked. “Bye Hyung~!”

-xx-

                I wasn’t able to go to classes these past two days. I just lied on my bed and slept all day. I find it odd that I feel someone’s presence here in my room. Or maybe the fever just causes these weird hallucinations to me. I can feel someone lying next to me, one arm s around my waist and a free hand my tousled raven hair. Then he hums softly which lulls me back to sleep.

“I hate myself for being more desperate when things went worse…”

                I wish it was only a hallucination for fantasies are easier to forget than the reality… but it is not… It is real and it hurts me… This is the only way that I can keep him by my side… I am selfish… I didn’t mean to be this desperate… Can you blame me? If I take one step, it’ll ruin our friendship… One step backward would mean I have to bear with regrets until time heals my broken heart… I am a coward… I am scared… I can’t bring myself to tell how much Kyuhyun means to me. To him, this is only a friendly gesture and for me, this is the kind of treatment which slowly kills me inside.

“Oh Woonie you’re awake?” He asked groggily and placed his palm on my forehead. “You still have fever. How can you neglect yourself?! Aish! You act like a kid.”

“Shut up.” I muttered.

                I tried to get up but I fell back lying on the bed as he placed his leg over my thighs. I attempted again but I failed. I really feel dizzy.

“Go back to sleep again. I’ll wake you up later so you can have medicine. How can you recover fast if you take some medicine?! You’re such an idiot.”

“I can take of myself. You don’t have to do this.”

“I promised to take care of you Hyung, rememeber? Don’t worry hyung, I skipped classes that are not so important.”

“Idiot.”

“I care for you Jongwoon hyung. Now, go back to sleep.”

                He started humming again as he my hair with his fingers. I slowly drifted back into dreamland. Damn you Cho Kyuhyun, I shouldn’t feel this way towards you.

-xx-

“Let me love you just for one day… This is a lie that I say again…”

                I’ve avoided him for days, but yesterday he was able to corner me where I don’t have any means of escape nor alibis to say. He kept bugging me on granting his wish. And now, we’re on our way to see the place he wishes to see.

“Woonie! Ppali! You’re such a turtle! Hurry up!”

“Just wait a second Kyuhyun-ah! I can’t breathe! What are we doing here anyway?! Why are we hiking all of a sudden?! I can’t even see things here you idiot! It’s fxckin’ four o’clock in the morning!”

“Use the flashlight so it can fulfill its purpose! I want to see the sunrise with you!”

“Babo! Am I going to die now?! Am I having my last moments here on earth?! That’s totally offending Cho Kyuhyun! You go and see the sunrise by yourself! Aish! Why am I best friends with you in the first place?!”

                I turned to my heel and began walking towards the opposite direction. He grabbed my wrist and spun me around so that I can face him. I glared at him but got lost in his Chocolate Brown eyes. I tried to compose myself and wore a frown.

“Hyung, please…”

“I don’t want to.”

“Hyung~~”

“Kyuhyun-ah, I said no.”

“Please~~”He said with failed puppy eyes which looked totally adorable to me. (weird preference huh? XD)

“Don’t try to look cute! It disgusts the hell out of me!”

“Awwww~ Hyung is so mean…” He pouted.

I exasperatedly ran my hand through my hair as he looked at me with his so innocent eyes. “You’re really a spoiled brat! You have to give me a piggy-back ride on the way home as a punishment. Arasseo?”

“Deal! I always give you a piggy-back ride when we’re young because you were smaller.”

                He was about to put his arm over my shoulders but I swatted it away and glared at him.

“But I was only telling the truth Hyung! You’re getting grumpy and weirder Woonie. You look so cute!” He grinned like an idiot and held my hand tightly as we started walking. “You know I love spending time with you Hyung.”

I smiled, “Me too. Hyung loves to spend time with little Kyuhyunie.”

                He gave my hand a squeeze and held it until we reached the peak. We stood hand in hand and waited for the horizon to brighten up. As the sun greeted the sky ‘good morning’ I took a glance on Kyuhyun who’s gaze is fixed at the horizon. The gentle rays of sun played different angles on his face and made him look more handsome. Why do I have such feelings for you Kyuhyun-ah?

“But when I see you, I forget about it as I give you a smile… And I fall in love with you again…”

-xx-

“Let me forget you just for one day… Those are words that I can’t keep…”

               Days passed and things got busier. Examinations are fast approaching and requirements were given here and there. Kyuhyun and I barely see each other though we live in the same dorm and we share the same room. We only get to see each other in the morning, without uttering any single word. He spends more time outside and I spent most of my free time locked in our shared room. I feel empty inside and out. I miss hearing his laughter, his constant curses and hisses whenever he’s playing Starcraft. I miss bickering with him… I miss that evil and spoiled brat… I really miss everything related to him… I miss you so much Cho Kyuhyun…

                Maybe it’s time to sort out my feelings and think about this seriously. I shall have a heart to heart talk with myself… Now is the chance… Now is the right time to make the hardest yet best decision for us, I’ll forget you…

-xx-

                Examinations are done and the semester is finished. It’s time to relax and unwind. I still haven’t talked to Kyuhyun. I went up to the rooftop of our dorm. I can view the park and the gate of the school clearly from up here. I held onto the railings and looked around. I saw two figures chasing each other on the park. My feet unconsciously took steps and it brought me to the park. I sat on the bench and watch two people running around which surprisingly looked familiar to me. I can hear hearty giggles which sounded not so familiar to my ears. They continued running in circles as reality slapped me hard on my face. The one’s who’s chasing Sungmin-ssi is Kyuhyun. They seem so happy. They look good together and it shows that they enjoy each other’s company. I smiled as I continued to watch Kyuhyun who looked so bright and cheerful.

“Smiles are like band-aids Jongwoon hyung.” Someone spoke out of the blue.

“Ne. It is.” I answered as I closed my eyes. I don’t want tears gushing down my cheeks.

                The anonymous person sat beside me and patted my shoulder.

“I feel the same hyung. Though I love Sungmin hyung…” he paused and sighed. “Ryeowookie will be always Sungminnie hyung’s eternal dongsaeng.”

I looked at Ryeowook who held his head down, “Everything seemed normal to them but for us, it isn’t the same anymore. We need to hold on just to save what’s left for us, that friendship that barely connects us to them. Cheer up Ryeong. Everything has its reasons.”

“You’re such a masochist hyung.”

“I know. Just… I can’t stay away from him… I really can’t… I am in between heaven and hell because of him…”