Where was Nicole? Why wasn't she at school?

She was at the mall with Kai.

" There was no need to skip school.. we could come here in the afternoon " she blurted. Kai smirked and shook his head in disagreement.

" In the morning, it's better.. there's no one, it's all for us " he remarked.

Nicole scanned the place and it was pretty much desert. It's been awhile since she went there but she never saw it so quiet. It would usually be full of couples, families or just boys and girls hanging as they judged those who were passing by with what they bought and what they didn't. It was weird not to see it packed. It was just looking like a huge closet where she was going to pick her clothes from.

" Well.. what are we doing here? " she asked curiously.

" We have to work on.... that " he made a motion with his hand to point at her clothes. Ohhh.. her face darkened.

" Thank you " she said a little bit offended. Kai was so straight-forward, too straight-forward. He chuckled.

" It's not.. you or your clothes " he started making his way to one of the stores and Nicole followed him. " It's you and your clothes together " he turned to her to make sure that she was getting what he was trying to say. She was fine and so were her clothes but they didn't fit her. They weren't for her.

" What's wrong with them? I feel fresh "

" Fresh but a little awkward too, right? "

She pursed her lips not knowing what to retort to that. She felt fresh and she liked them because they were different from what she used to wear, way different from the too classy and too elegant dresses that she used to wear which screamed rich girl in the face of those who couldn't afford them. But he was right when he said that she wasn't herself with those dresses nor with those too plain clothes she was currently wearing.

She didn't think much of them because again she must've pressed some pause or stop botton which also refrained her fashion sense.

They entered a few stores where she'd try a lot of different shirts, pants, shorts. Kai would be comfortably sitting like a fashion police looking at her from head to toe whenever she came out of the dressing room. He would shake his head, wave his hands or pretend to be throwing up and Nicole was slowly getting tired as she started to lose hope.

" What exactly are you looking for? " she groaned feeling sorry for the saleslady who was trying really hard to please him. Kai put down the magazine that he was reading and heaved out a deep sigh. He stared straightly into her eyes and realized that she wasn't joking. She was really on the verge of giving everything up.

" What I'm looking for.. " he spoke. In the past you used to wear dresses because those were what you were supposed to wear since those were what the others had. Now, you're dressing in a way that can't be defined because you just didn't think much of them. You just don't give a . I'd like.... " Something that makes you feel good, that makes you feel yourself " 

They continued searching for another store which could fit her more. They went for different styles from the sporty type, to the hippy type, to the girl-next-door type. Kai ruffled his hair in annoyance " Really? " he looked at her from head to toe in disbelief.

She was wearing a light pink dress and doll shoes. Nicole looked at herself and swallowed. It was all very delicate and feminine, something that Luhan would've liked. She wondered if he would've looked at her if she addopted that style.

But just like what Kai thought.. she didn't feel good at all, that wasn't her. That was Seohyun, Seohyun's style.

" Next " he pointed to the dressing room for her to change into something else.

" What do you think about this? " she turned to face him and saw him holding a leather jacket and a gray shirt with black skulls designs. He liked it, it looked cool and it reminded him of someone. Nicole raised a brow and met his eyes.

" She'd kill me if she saw me with something like that "

" Who " he blinked his eyes cluelessly. Did I say it out loud? She questioned through her eyes and he nodded.

" My sister.. " she uttered. She sighed and walked to the dressing room.

That was indeed more of Jiyoung's style. She liked wearing leather jackets, dark shirts and most of all she adored skull designed shirts and stuff. She wouldn't have liked seeing her sister having something similar since she was working so hard to differentiate herself from her.

After hours they finally found what they were looking for when they realized that they couldn't just look for a well-defined style. Nicole couldn't just fit a single style. She was girly and boyish at the same time, simple and stylish at the same time. They realized that they had to go for something in between from her old self and her current self to get her true self. A balance between the two extremes: classy and elegant, plain and comfortable.

" Wow " she smiled looking at the bags on the floor. It's been so long since she went shopping. It felt great and she was happy with every single thing she bought. There were shirts, pants, shorts, skirts and sneakers, heels, boots and accessories, bags. There was everything to fill her closet again.

" Did you buy everything you wanted? " Kai asked. He kept on telling her to buy what she thought she would feel great with and not what others would think she would look great with. Buy what you want, not what you need! You have to be confident not because of the others compliments but because of your own judgement of yourself. He reminded.

Nicole nodded and flashed him a satisfied smile.

" Why are you doing this? " she suddenly asked. Uhm? He glanced at her and had some more of his ice-cream.

" I'm not doing anything " he answered with a shrug.

" Yes " she eyed him knowingly " You are " keeping me company, cheering me up..

She waited for a couple of minutes for him to say anything but he didn't. He probably felt embarrassed to admit that he was helping her or anything. He didn't really look like someone who'd openly say such things. He wasn't even someone of many words but whenever he spoke, it was the truth.

It was weird how little of him she knew but she still admired him so much already. She didn't mind spending time with him or skipping school with him. He was like a breath of fresh air from the normal, peaceful, boring and miserable life she has been living.

" Thank you "

♦♦♦♦♦

When Nicole got home she found Jiyoung at the entrance. She was taken aback. She put down her bags for a brief moment because they were too heavy and picked them up again to go to her room.

" Where have you been? " she heard her dongsaeng asking her as she trailed behind her.

" Shopping. "

" With who? "

" With someone you don't know. "

Nicole looked up to her sister with an inquiring look. Not only she found her waiting for her at the entrance but she was storming her with questions. What's happened? She wondered. Because Jiyoung usually didn't care about what she did. She wouldn't even talk to her if it wasn't to order her something.

Jiyoung pressed her lips together to refrain herself from asking more. She left her sister's room leaving her dealing with her newly bought clothes and went to the living room.

She wasn't satisfied with the answers she got and everything was just curious. Her sister skipped school, she went shopping and she came back with a whole different look. From her clothes to her hairstyle. Where were her long locks? She cut her hair short. She looks.... good. She admitted to herself with a smile curving on her face. A smile that disappeared when the real reason she was waiting for appeared in her mind again.

Jiyoung found something unexpected yet so familiar in her room earlier. Yes. She entered her room because she was looking for her. She couldn't be condemned for wondering where her sister was, right? But she was caught off-guard by the sight of a black leather jacket.

It wasn't only a black leather jacket but it was his jacket. She was sure about that. She recognized that particulart one. It belonged to him. What was her sister doing with that? Did they know each other? Since when.. and why?

Kai. We need to talk.

She muttered in her head.

♦♦♦♦♦

Nicole spent the whole weekend wondering how she was going to feel that Monday morning as she went to school. She thought that she would feel awkward or afraid of the other's judgement on her new look. If ever they noticed what were they going to think about it?

When she walked in the school entrance she felt the others' eyes on her. She saw their eyes widening from the corner of hers, she heard them gasping and speculating. They were surprised but they were also complimenting her. Some flashed her smiles, some showed her thumbs up....

And there she realized that she didn't care. Their reactions, their words positive or negative ones weren't affecting her anymore. She didn't feel happy nor she felt any more beautiful because she recalled how earlier she stood in front of her mirror and checked herself from head to toe continously.

 She was satisfied with her hair, with her light make-up and with her clothes. There was that feeling that she never felt before. There was what Kai was talking about when he said that she needed to feel beautiful because of her own judgement of herself and not because of what others said about her.

In that moment she was satisfied, comfortable and contented with herself.

Nicole would've spent the whole day smoothly if it wasn't that during lunch break someone waved her hands and called for her name loudly. Seohyun. She was motioning her to reach their table. How much she would've wanted to pretend not to hear her but it was impossible not to hear her voice unless she was deaf but she didn't have that excuse.

She forced a smile and reluctantly made her way to them. Yes. Luhan was there too. He was sitting next to his girlfriend eating his food quietly. She didn't even need to look at him directly to know it.

" Please take a seat " Seohyun invited her and how rude she would be if she denied her that. She took a seat and forced another smile.

Seohyun was telling her a cute story to break the ice before asking her what she had in mind while the only thing Nicole would've wanted was to leave that table and run away. She felt a tingle in her stomach thinking that she was having lunch with him and it wasn't a tingle of excitement. She was feeling this anger that she has been feeling towards him for awhile now.

She just couldn't explain herself how someone who was so admired and respected could be such a jerk with no balls. Seriously, why didn't he tell her anything about her letter? He could say that she wasn't his type, that he didn't like her and if he felt uncomfortable about it they could ignore each other right after.

She found her hand reaching for her glass of water and drowning it all to calm herself. She couldn't stand how not only he was pretending that nothing ever happened but he even had the guts to shove to her face that he was dating another girl who was her exact opposite. Maybe this is his way to answer me. She concluded.

" I'm organizing my birthday party and I'd like you to come " she froze. She just couldn't figure out if the two were doing it on purpose or not. What if Luhan told her? But looking at her.. she looked so genuine. There was no way someone like her could do anything mean.

" I'm not into.. " parties anymore.

" It won't be like those ones. Please, I'd like you to come " Nicole mentally facepalmed herself. How could she even think that the party Seohyun was organizing was similar to the ones she used to go? Of course, Seohyun's one was going to be more.. more like her.

" I don't think your friends would " want for me to come. She was looking for any possible excuse to avoid that birthday party. Not because it was a birthday party or because it was Seohyun but those two things meant Luhan. Luhan! The person she used to like before she started to feel something that went really close to anger.

" Don't worry about them.. they will be fine and you won't feel uncomfortable " Nicole gasped when she felt the warmth of Seohyun's hand on her arm. She looked up to her and saw her flashing a bright and reassuring smile " Luhan will be there, you know each other, right? "

Luhan looked at Nicole who just choked on her food and had to drown another glass of water. He was waiting for her to say that they indeed know each other. Seohyun knew about it already because she has asked him the other day and he told her that they happened to have short conversations from time to time. The reason why she brought it up was to reassure her friend that she was going to have someone she already knows at the party.

" Yes. We do " he muttered when she didn't say anything.

" See? " Seohyun shook her by her arm " Please, Nicole, it'd really mean a lot " the last excuse she would've wanted to use was that she could predict high fever coming on her birthday so she couldn't make it but she realized that it was reaching quite of a ridicolous level. She heaved out a defeated sigh and nodded.

" I'm coming "

♦♦♦♦♦

Meanwhile there was someone having her talk with someone else in a hallway where they knew no one usually passed by. They knew it because they used to spend their time there together.  He had his back leaning on the wall, his hands on his pocket and his eyes fixated on the floor while she was standing in front of him with her arms crossed on her chest and an analizing look on her face.

" She has your jacket. Why? "

" I don't know. "

" Don't play this game with me " she muttered grabbing him by his collar. He glanced at her and smirked seeing the eagerness to know the truth. He knew this talk would've come sooner or later but seeing how it came earlier than expected it meant that his plan was working.

" She was cold "

She frowned and tightened her grip on him. " Since when are you this generous? "

" Since I have to make up for your behaviour "

" You know nothing about me " she hissed dropping her arms on her side.

" I know more than your boyfriend, definitely " a smug smile curved on his face. She hated it, she hated him. She clenched her teeth and balled her hands to refrain herself from jumping on him before she asked him the most important question. She straightly looked into his eyes and inhaled deeply preparing herself for the worst.

" Did you do it with her? "

" Does it matter? " she glared at him. She was the one who usually answered vaguely, she was the one who accused when she was being accused,  she was the one who returned a question with another question. Don't play this game with me!

" You know how disgusting that would be?? She's my sister!! " she yelled slowly letting out the anger that was running through her veins.

" So you actually acknowledge her as your sister " that monotone. She hated the way he was looking at her, the way he was talking to her.. everything. It was that kind of hatred she used to feel, that kind of hatred she missed. She knew he was right, he was always right and she hated that too. Once again he was making her face reality and once again she gave in.

" She was, she is, she will always be my sister and I will always acknowledge her as one " her voice cracking at some point and her view gettng glassy. Despite her ignoring her, treating her badly. She was still acknowledging her as her sister and she was always going to. Despite everything, she was still one of the most important person in her life. Saying it to herself was one thing but saying it outloud was another and it hurt. She had to look up to hold in the tears threatening to fall.

" We didn't.. " we didn't do it and you should know it. He spoke softly. He was about to wipe the first tear that rolled down her cheek when she turned to leave. She got the answer she wanted.

Jiyoung and Kai used to spend their time together. He was the first guy Jiyoung cheated on Sehun with. She met him at a club with her friends. They started talking, they were dancing and before she knew it she was getting it in with him. There their physical affair sailed.

He'd meet her somewhere at school, in that deserted hallway to be exact and they would do it. He'd bring her in his place and they'd do it. Both not looking for anything but just that. Both claiming that there was nothing more than hunger and lust. Everything was just exciting and it was all for fun.

It lasted for a couple of months until Kai made that mistake confessing that he developped feelings for her. He asked her to leave Sehun and told her to be together. It was the worst thing he could ever do because Jiyoung got mad at him. She told him that wasn't how it was supposed to be and asked him why did he have to ruin everything. She added that she couldn't give him more than her body marking a clear line between them.

Kai said that it wasn't enough for him and they had to stop meeting.

He tried to forget her. Oh how much he tried but he couldn't. 

He went to her again asking her the same thing. He told her that he was ready for a relationship with her, a serious one where he was going to treat her right just like Sehun did if not even better. Jiyoung told him that they could continue their affair only.

He didn't want that. He didn't want her body. He didn't want to treat her like he treated everybody. He had feelings, strong feelings and he couldn't understand why she couldn't get it. He couldn't understand why it had to happen to him. The first time he was feeling like that, the first girl he had feelings like that. It wasn't right and he felt so hopeless.

Hopeless enough that he decided to use extreme measures to have her.

He threatened her to break up with Sehun on her own or he was going to tell him everything and they were going to break up anyway " At least, he won't know that you cheated on him "

Jiyoung didn't let herself being intimidated by him. She didn't want to let him win. She took all her courage and confessed to Sehun her wrong doing, or at least part of it because he didn't let her finish. She just started saying that she happened to cheat on him and he walked out leaving her hanging.

She thought that between them was over but the day after Sehun was the one going to her. He apologized for leaving her like that. He told her that he appreciated her honesty, that he still loved her more than ever and that he was ready to start over.

Kai couldn't believe it. He wondered what would've happened if Sehun let her say everything. What if she told him how, how many times and with who she cheated on him?

" You saw how easily he forgave me. Do you think telling him more will change anything? " she gave him a challenging look " And even if he breaks up with me.. don't expect me to be with you after what you're doing "

From that day he distanced himself from her again. He spent his days with his friends and tons of other girls. He tried once again to forget her. He didn't know what she exactly did to him. Maybe it was because she was different. She was different from the ones he was used to have.

He was used to have affairs based on physical only and the girls were used to tell him that they wanted nothing more than his body but when time passed they'd get boring or annoying. They'd start pretending more, pretending attention, pretending everything.

Jiyoung didn't do that. He liked how carefree she was, how daring, how strong and as much as it drove him nuts he liked how she always talked back to him. She wasn't fun on bed only but he had fun just being with her and that's where his feelings started developping.

Kai had this thought that they could be together. Despite her stating that she loved Sehun only, that she was never going to leave him, he was still convinced that he could have her. He just had to tingle the right strings and that's when Nicole appeared.

" Hey, want to come? "

" Where? "

" Since when you're askng? Did I ever take you anywhere you didn't like? " he smirked when he saw her saying nothing. He handed her a helmet and motioned her to get on behind him.

Thank you so much for your kind words, dear readers.

There isn't much happening as you may have noticed because differently from my other stories, everything here plays around their feelings, personalities and (entangled) relationships.

There is KaiJing and what they used to be..

There is LuCole and the confession letter effect, awkwardness&coldness. Everything will be resolved later....

Thank you again and stay safe! :)