“We,  let’s end it here”

His words were loud and clear. Straight to the point. No hesitation in his voice.

“Let’s not seeing each other anymore in this way”

His words came out smoothly. His lips seem to be programmed to say those words automatically. It seems like he spent the whole night repeating those words. His face expression was stay still. Since the first time I saw him today sat alone waiting for me in this bubble tea shop-our favorite place-his expression stays the same. The same calm expression that made me falls so hard for him.

 

“That’s it? We just end like this?”, finally I open my mouth. I already knew the answer but I just want to reassure my self. I looked at my intertwined fingers and move to the half empty bubble tea cup in front of me then to his eyes. Those sparkling eyes that now I hardly to read.

 

“I don’t think we can be together anymore in this way…”, he started again tried to explaining his feeling.

‘In this way?’ what the hell did he try to imply? Something about him did change these past few days. But I never expected him to say those words. Are we breaking up now? Break up doesn’t seem to be the right terms for us. For our relationship.

I mean, this ‘relationship’ that we had, I don’t know how to call it. We were so passionate and affectionate toward each other. Some says it was friendship, a deep one. Other says it was brotherhood, but we were closer that any real brother. People often see us as a lover, but I never felt that way.

 One thing I know for sure about our relationship is, we loved each other so much. We spent so many times together. When we were together it seems like we didn’t need anybody else. Just the two of us, everything feels so complete.

And now we were here, at our favorite place sitting facing each other. And he was there in front of me saying that we shouldn’t be together anymore.

Was it a bad dream?

 

“Why?”, that’s it. That was just a simple question from me. Somehow that simple word made him so uncomfortable he kept on changing his sitting position.

“I-I just-I think-I can’t take it anymore Sehunnie…”, he finally spoke while awkwardly scratch his head.

“What is that? What is it that you can’t take it anymore? Was I so annoying to you Luhannie hyung?”, I asked straight to him. My eyes fixed on his, tried to find the answer. Luhan hyung stutter as he tried to response to my question.

 

“That’s not it… Sehunnie, I just tired”, he finally answered after let out a deep sigh.

“Of what?”, I insist to get more explanation. I need a reason. Just s simple reason. Luhan hyung stare at me with his pity looks. I looked away, tried so hard not to fall on that trap.

 

“Please grow up. Hyung is so tired confronting you all this time. You should be more mature, please act as your age. Also, hyung just-hyung just-“, Luhan hyung stuttered again. He couldn’t finish his sentences.

 

Did he just say that I am immature? All this time he always said that he loved my childish act and he was addicted to it. Who is the guy that sat in front of me now? Is that really Luhan hyung? I shook my head in disbelieved as I heard Luhan hyung’s explanation. Suddenly, a huge realization fling to my mind like a huge wave fling on the reef.

“Is this because of him? It’s because Xiumin hyung, right?”, I asked directly to Luhan hyung who now looked more startled. He silent for awhile before finally open his mouth.

 

“Xiumin is… he made me feel so comfortable when I with him. I don’t know, maybe it’s because we are on the same age, that’s why…”, Luhan hyung said as he looked down at his intertwined fingers. I open my mouth in disbelieved. So it was him. All this time I was right. My assumption was right.

 

“So, it was like that… I understand now…”, I tried to cut Luhan hyung’s word off. I smiled in despair, tried to face the irony.

 

“Sehunnie, even so, in the future I hope we could-“, Luhan hyung tried to comfort me as he stretched his hand onto mine. Before his hand touch mind, I quickly move my hands away and cut Luhan hyung’s words.

“In the future I hope we won’t meet each other ever again. Even if we accidentally bumped in to each other, let’s pretend that we never knew each other. Let’s pretend that the story about us was never existed”, I said coldly to cut Luhan hyung’s words off before he could finish it. I felt so angry and disappointed at the same time.

 

“Sehunnie…”, he was pleading to me as he tried to touch my hands.

“If you really wanted to end it. Let’s end it completely. Let’s end it to the point where there is no single way to start it over again…”, I took a glance at him as I said my final words and leave the bubble tea shop. Leaving Luhan hyung alone who kept on calling my names.

Let’s end it here. It’s the end. Good bye Luhannie hyung…

 

                                                                                                      *****

Today’s air was a bit hot. I walked slowly on the side walk with my eyes fixed on the ground. Once in a while I shook my head to throw away what just happening today. I checked on my cell phone to found out a hundred missed calls from the same number; Luhan hyung’s number.

As I stare at my phone monitor, it vibrated and show Luhan hyung’s number was calling. I hesitate for awhile. Deep inside I really wanted to pick up the phone and hearing his pleading voice. On the other hand, I still angry and disappointed I wish he disappeared right now.

After some consideration, I turn off my cell phone and put it back on my pocket and walked toward the bus stop. For a second, when I passed a night club, I though of got my self some drink and get drunk just for tonight. But, my dad won’t be pleased when he see me coming home hung over. He’ll yelling at me about how bad alcohol for my liver and my body.

 

I can’t blame dad for his overprotective on health. My dad and I lost my mom due to alcohol. My mom was a heavy drinker. Though my dad is a doctor and never tired to advising my mom about how bad alcohol for your body, my mom can’t stop his bad habits.

She might act normal when my dad was around. But, she often sneaked in the middle of the night to get herself a glass of vodka. When mom finally passed away, dad burned every liquors that my mom stored on her room. My dad was so broken hearted when mom passed away. He felt that he failed as a doctor and as a husband. Since then, I promised to myself to never ever touch alcohol.

 

“I’m home…”, I open the front door as I looked around to search for my dad. My aunt came from the kitchen as she welcoming me and asked if I want something to eat.

After my mom passed away, my dad’s little sister come to the house to take care of me and dad. She is on her early forty and unmarried. I glad that my aunt was here, at least there will be someone welcoming me when I’m coming home.

 

“Dad still at the hospital?”, I asked as I open the refrigerator and get some cold milk.

“No, he got home early today. He was in his room. Ah, that’s right, he came home with a young boy today… Your dad said he was his patient from China… who was his name again?”, my aunt tried to remembered something as she prepare some meals.   

“I’ll go to his room auntie, I’ll be back soon for dinner”, I said to my aunt as I walked out off the kitchen and went upstairs to meet dad.

 

“Dad?”, I stretched my head onto his room to find my dad. He was sitting in his work desk and writing something. I looked around to search for the boy that my aunt told me earlier.

“Sehunnie, you came?”, he said to me and put down his glasses and told me to came inside.

“Auntie said you came home with someone today…”

“Yeah, yeah! I just want to tell you about that. Perhaps, have you met him? He was at our backyards”, dad said excitedly as he sat on the couch. I following and sat beside him.

 

“He is a outpatient of my friend. This boy used to be an alcoholic but he finally got his rehab. But, you know, the alcohol effect won’t leave your body easily. Now his liver was in bad condition, so he was bought here under my treatment to get his condition better. I believed that I’ll be able to bring him back to his good condition”, dad explained as he smiled to me. He was so concerned about alcoholic matters. It might because of mom’s tragedy so he became like this.

 

“What about his parents? His families?”, I asked in curiosity. He let out a deep sigh before he explained to me.

“Why do you think he became an alcoholic? It’s because he had no one to share with… His parents died when he was 15 on an accident. He got no family left…”

“Is he going to live here?”, I asked again, it’s kind of not right to have stranger on our house, I mean, this is my private area so I kind of hate the idea of  letting a complete stranger to live under a same roof with me.

“Of course, he got nowhere to go. Also, by live here, I could do better treatment for him. He is such a poor boy… left alone in this world. You better be friend with him Sehunnie”, dad said as he patted on my head. I just stay silent, didn’t know how to response.

 

I can’t argue my dad. It’s been in his soul to always helping others. Obediently I stood up and went to our backyards to meet my dad’s outpatient. Halfheartedly, I stepped on the backyards when I see a back of tall young boy. He just stood there silently, enjoying the summer night breeze. He had a short blonde hair and athletic proportional body. It’s hard to believe that this shape of body used to be an alcoholic.

I clear my throat to make a voice when that young boy finally turned his head to look at me. As he saw me, a smiled bloomed on his lips. I could see a dark large circle around his sharp eyes. Indeed, this boy’s health was bad due to how deep the dark circles around his eyes are.

 

“Hallo, you must be Sehun…”, he greet me on an odd accent with a bright smile and step forward to me. Slowly he extended his arms and shook my hands as he introducing.

“Nice too meet you, I am Tao…”