My clothes cling to my shivering form as I watch you walk away. My arms are folded over my chest as I hug myself close and my eyes are welling up with tears I’d rather not let go of. Not while you’re still in my sight.

I’ll be back, you said. The words ring in my ears as if you’re standing right before me. But you’re not. Maybe you won’t ever be standing before me again.

I’ll let you know when I return, you said.

“I’ll kill you if you’re not coming back…” I whisper to myself, the breathed words turning to mist as soon as they leave my mouth. “If you won’t come back, I won’t ever forgive you.”

I watch you when you turn around slightly to wave at me. And then you’re gone from my view.

I sink to the ground and hug my knees, shaking both from cold and despair. You’ll soon be a thousand of miles away from me and for what? You’ll fight enemies that aren’t even yours. You’re going to a war that’s not yours to fight, but you have no choice. And I have no choice but to let you go.

The rain hides my tears. The tears that finally fall from my eyes.

I can do this. I can wait for you.

I am soaked to the bone once I get inside, but I do not care for even a moment. I simply collapse on the bed and fall asleep, tears that won’t stop falling soaking the pillow that still has your scent.

xXx

The vase sends shards flying everywhere once it hits its target.

I fall to my knees with an anguished sob, staring blindly at the wall in front of me. I reach for another object, a picture frame with a photo of us, and throw it at the wall, laughing at the way it shatters before I let out a scream and then begin to sob anew, letting my head drop to the floor and my hands against the wood.

I’m trying. I’m trying so hard, I am. But it has already been months and I’m breaking into pieces. When will you be back? Will you be back? You didn’t tell me!

I asked you, I begged you, I plead! Won’t you stay? Stay with me! Don’t leave me!

But you smiled and gone you were and I’m left alone, trying to get through this on my own.

I’m trying.

Another thing shatters against the wall and I cry out again, the tears sliding down my cheeks, leaving trails of black in their wake.

I’m on my own. Will you come back to me?

I stand on shaky feet, stumbling forward and falling back on my knees, ignorant of the shards tearing through the fabric of my clothes as I search blindly for the picture, ignoring the pain and the blood when my hands brush against shards of glass in their search. I find the photo and lift it up, staring at it with wide eyes, tears welling up anew.

You and me. Smiling, together.

I tear the picture in two and burn one of them. The flame is right underneath the last one, but my hands are shaking and I can’t burn you, too. I haven’t given up. You promised me.

I’m trying. You’ll see when you get back. I tried.

xXx

Death. There’s too much death. One down, another one down and I’m just waiting to hear the news of your passing, too.

I lie flat on the floor, dressed in your clothes and hugging your pillow, desperately hoping to smell your unique scent on it.

But it’s gone. There’s nothing left of you beside some of your clothes. I am beginning to forget your face, your body, your scent, your warmth… I’m starting to forget. And I’m crying because of that.

Months go by in your absence and it’s still a mystery to me as to how that’s possible. How can time go by when I don’t know whether you’re dead or alive? The world continues and I’m stranded in limbo, in a time that stands still.

Come back. Come back to me. Please come back to my side!

I’m still trying. I’m still waiting.

Pieces. I’m forgetting myself. I don’t know who I am anymore.

I’m forgetting.

My hands are bleeding but I don’t know why. Is it the shards lying around everywhere? Was it an accident? Or was it my longing for you?

I don’t know. I don’t remember.

I’m falling. I’m falling apart.

xXx

The war’s over. But you’re still not here. I’m crying.

xXx

I’m trying. I’m trying so hard. Come back. You’re a thousand of miles away, but you’ll be back by my side again soon, won’t you? You promised.

I’ll tell you next time, you said. You promised. You promised me!

I’m crying and I’m crying and I’m still crying.

I don’t know if you’ll be back. I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.

A promise is a promise, but death will not be stopped by a mere promise. Death is an overpowering force. Death is sorrow. Death is demise and death might have taken you, stolen you from me.

I’m crying and I’m starting to wonder when there’ll be no more tears left to shed.

xXx

I’m here again. Still a thousand miles away from you. A broken mess and the rain is falling heavily again. The raindrops soak me to the bone but I do not mind. I cry to the heavens, beg them to bring you back to me. I scream and I sob and I fear you have left me.

But then you call my name.

I look up and I see you, standing before me with worry in your eyes as you take in my shaking, broken form and I cry again. I come to you in pieces and you throw everything away, holding me close and whispering words of soothing in my ears.

“I’m back,” you say and I cry even harder, my arms around you desperate and afraid to let you go. “I’m back. I’m well.”

“You promised me,” I wail and you shush me with your lips, pressing them against my own.

I know I’m finally yours.

“I love you,” you say and I laugh, breathless and relieved despite the tears still falling from my eyes in cascades. You dry them away and lean closer, whispering in my ear, “I won’t leave you again. I’ll be by your side now until forever. That’s another promise and just like the other one, I’ll keep it.”

You’ll make me whole again. You’ll pick up the pieces and get them back together like a puzzle. A puzzle only you can solve.

“I know,” I say, smiling softly against your skin. “I know. I believe you. I love you.”

I was tempted to write a sad ending, buuut... it ended up like this in the end. Once it was written, I considered making it an illusion (or at least make the reader wonder about whether it was real or not), but... Molla.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my first try at GTOP (-ish)!

Point out any mistakes you spot!