CuteNerdyVicky

Why howl when you can growl?_review shop ||closed|| busy finishing requests||
[soory i won't up the the story link or your profile 'cause i'm on my phone and back from my exams]

Title: It sounds like your best friend confessed to you and you already had a lover, which make you confused who to choose. [6 points]

Description: Please don't put their introduction, it's very annoying and your plot got already spoiled in your foreword. [Sorry, you got 0 points in here.]

Plot: Very original, I tell you. Some errors like "i dont know anymore...sigh...blah blah blah". Write it as " I don't know anymore what's happening with me." I sighed. Though, there are lot of grammatrical errors, the story is good nevertheless. Good flow. [20 points]

Character development: All i can say is 'wow' you did a good job. [30 points.]

Comments: Change your foreword and description. Those annoying lines could make readers turn around and look for other stories.

Overall: 56 points.

R/N: SOrry to make all of you wait.
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
people_makes_me_sick
9501kagu28- on the move

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
CuteNerdyVicky #1
LOL sozzy about that, i was trying to write a fanfic during examination period and it didn't turn out write cos i was so stressed i couldn't write properly.
Angel110
#2
Hi, Prison of Love & Pain is no longer in draft mode anymore and ready to be reviewed ^^
Angel110
#3
hello, I just wanted to inform you that I put Prison of Love & Pain currently on draft mode~
9501kagu28
#4
Chapter 1: Thanks for the review! Can you please explain what you mean "full stop" and "question mark", I don't think I get it.
Can I ask you how much you read? Did you read everything or the first chapters?
I also want to comment on your comment. Even though this may sound absurd to you I don't really care that much if anybody reads my story. I am doing this because I want to find ways to express my feelings and emotions and to improve my english. I am not going to change to EXO just because I will get more views(not that I don't like EXO). I love Seung Gi so I am going to stick with him.
I also want to comment on that Seung Gi is to kind and polite. I have been depressed and other people I know have been depressed. That doesn't make them mean and unpolite. Do you mean that if I want to make the story better I should make him meaner or what do you mean?
Thank you again for you time and effort, I hope you will answer my questions too.
Also, for future reviews I would recommend you to give more constructive advice and perhaps give examples, you can still be harsh but sometimes it's better to highlight some of the good things too :) (I am not trying to bash you, I appreciate the review)
chelleries
#5
Username: chelleries

Profile link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/638886

Story title: Vengeance Kiss.

Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/676088/vengeance-kiss-romance-school-exo-bubbly-eunjiminah

Characters: Park Eunji, Park Minah, EXO (Kai, Luhan, Chanyeol mostly)

Rated/Not Rated: Not rated.

/Yuri/OCs: OCs

genre: Bubbly, romance

A/n: Right now I haven't really finish chapter one. I would like it if you reviewed every chapter until the end of this fanfic. Thanks a lot! :) Please be harsh. It seems like I did a lot of mistakes. I'm hoping maybe you can help me fix them.
Angel110
#6
Username: Angel110

Profile link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/151955

Story title: Prison of Love & Pain

Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/455512

characters: Lee Sungmin, Lee Hyukjae, Lee Donghae

Rated/Not Rated: Rated

/Yuri/OCs:

genre: angst, crime, mpreg

A/n:-
Acapella_
#7
Username: Fatin_Zulaikha

Story title: The Painful Of Love

Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/667803/the-painful-of-love-angst-sad-you-exo-luhan

characters: Luhan , OC >.<

genre:Angst

For the OC's character image , Use Bae Sumin's image >< Can or not? XD
CuteNerdyVicky #8
Chapter 1: Hey, just came acroos your website, my story is not finished yet but i just want some feedback :)
Username:CuteNerdyVicky
Profile link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/561323
Story:If you had to choose between your lover and your bestfriend...who would you choose?
Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/639555/if-you-had-to-choose-between-your-lover-and-your-bestfriend-who-would-you-choose-friendship-romance
Characters: You (Go Mi Rae),Luhan,Sehun,CL,Jessica,Hyuna,YongHwa,Kai and Kris...so far
Rated: Not rated
Genre:Romance,Friendship
Plz review!!!
9501kagu28
#9
Hi! Please review my story, it's not finished yet but I would really want some pointers to know what I can do better :)
Username: 9501kagu28
Profile link:http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/554067
Story title:The way back to life
Story link:http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/618789/the-way-back-to-life-angst-drama-romance-seunggi
characters: LeeSeungGi, Emma
Rated/Not Rated:Not rated
genre: angst,romance,drama
I really hope you will help me so that I can make my story better! :D