9501kagu28

Why howl when you can growl?_review shop ||closed|| busy finishing requests||
Profile link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/554067

Story title: The way back to life

Story link:http:// www.asianfanfics.com/story/ view/618789/the-way-back-to- life-angst-drama-romance- seunggi

Title(8points): Well your title hooks people up and makes them feel that it's gonna be very angst. And it kinda gives off the vibe that it's gonna be a life-death situation. So, they click on the title and scroll down.

Description(10 points): This one is very disappointing. After the really angst feel felt by the readers while they read the title, your description really turn them off. It's too simple and too boring. The writing style is used too much. And if you can, change the female protagonist name. People don't really read OCs with English names even if the story has an outstanding plot.

'Is this the begining of a love story?' WHAT THE ? TOO CLICHE AND BORING. I want to say for this is 'CHANGE THE DESCRIPTION!!'

Dialouge(15points): The dialouge is good except for that you forgot to put 'full stop' 'question mark' after every sentences of it.

Character's development(0): No character development founded! You put the girl as a damsel in distress when she's supposed to help Seunggi, not the other way around. And Seunggi is too kind and polite for a man in depression.

Plot(30points):

This one is even more disappointing. Forgive me. But it doesn't appeal that much to me or none at all. And I don't feel that much angst. It was so boring.

Comments: Choosing Seunggi as a character was not a very brilliant idea. And plus using the female main character as an English woman didn't do it any good. I suggest you change it to Exo and get co authors and beta readers. I didn't enjoyed it.

Overall points: 53 points.

A/N: I told you I'd be harsh though it's short. If you are satisfied with the review, do upvote and request again. ^^

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Author's Thoughts
people_makes_me_sick
9501kagu28- on the move
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CuteNerdyVicky #1
LOL sozzy about that, i was trying to write a fanfic during examination period and it didn't turn out write cos i was so stressed i couldn't write properly.
Angel110 #2
Hi, Prison of Love & Pain is no longer in draft mode anymore and ready to be reviewed ^^
Angel110 #3
hello, I just wanted to inform you that I put Prison of Love & Pain currently on draft mode~
9501kagu28 #4
Chapter 1: Thanks for the review! Can you please explain what you mean "full stop" and "question mark", I don't think I get it.
Can I ask you how much you read? Did you read everything or the first chapters?
I also want to comment on your comment. Even though this may sound absurd to you I don't really care that much if anybody reads my story. I am doing this because I want to find ways to express my feelings and emotions and to improve my english. I am not going to change to EXO just because I will get more views(not that I don't like EXO). I love Seung Gi so I am going to stick with him.
I also want to comment on that Seung Gi is to kind and polite. I have been depressed and other people I know have been depressed. That doesn't make them mean and unpolite. Do you mean that if I want to make the story better I should make him meaner or what do you mean?
Thank you again for you time and effort, I hope you will answer my questions too.
Also, for future reviews I would recommend you to give more constructive advice and perhaps give examples, you can still be harsh but sometimes it's better to highlight some of the good things too :) (I am not trying to bash you, I appreciate the review)
chelleries #5
Username: chelleries

Profile link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/638886

Story title: Vengeance Kiss.

Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/676088/vengeance-kiss-romance-school-exo-bubbly-eunjiminah

Characters: Park Eunji, Park Minah, EXO (Kai, Luhan, Chanyeol mostly)

Rated/Not Rated: Not rated.

/Yuri/OCs: OCs

genre: Bubbly, romance

A/n: Right now I haven't really finish chapter one. I would like it if you reviewed every chapter until the end of this fanfic. Thanks a lot! :) Please be harsh. It seems like I did a lot of mistakes. I'm hoping maybe you can help me fix them.
Angel110 #6
Username: Angel110

Profile link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/151955

Story title: Prison of Love & Pain

Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/455512

characters: Lee Sungmin, Lee Hyukjae, Lee Donghae

Rated/Not Rated: Rated

/Yuri/OCs:

genre: angst, crime, mpreg

A/n:-
Acapella_ #7
Username: Fatin_Zulaikha

Story title: The Painful Of Love

Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/667803/the-painful-of-love-angst-sad-you-exo-luhan

characters: Luhan , OC >.<

genre:Angst

For the OC's character image , Use Bae Sumin's image >< Can or not? XD
CuteNerdyVicky #8
Chapter 1: Hey, just came acroos your website, my story is not finished yet but i just want some feedback :)
Username:CuteNerdyVicky
Profile link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/561323
Story:If you had to choose between your lover and your bestfriend...who would you choose?
Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/639555/if-you-had-to-choose-between-your-lover-and-your-bestfriend-who-would-you-choose-friendship-romance
Characters: You (Go Mi Rae),Luhan,Sehun,CL,Jessica,Hyuna,YongHwa,Kai and Kris...so far
Rated: Not rated
Genre:Romance,Friendship
Plz review!!!
9501kagu28 #9
Hi! Please review my story, it's not finished yet but I would really want some pointers to know what I can do better :)
Username: 9501kagu28
Profile link:http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/554067
Story title:The way back to life
Story link:http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/618789/the-way-back-to-life-angst-drama-romance-seunggi
characters: LeeSeungGi, Emma
Rated/Not Rated:Not rated
genre: angst,romance,drama
I really hope you will help me so that I can make my story better! :D
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