(You believe in almost everything

But above all, you believe in me.)

Seeing your husband in the morning after pulling an all nighter in the office is one thing. But seeing your husband lying on the couch, with his arms and legs in the air, shaking them vigorously? That’s a completely different story.

“I saw this on TV,” Donghae supplies me with information that doesn’t quite explain what the hell he’s doing.

“I’m guessing it wasn’t on Discovery Channel,” I answer back teasingly after giving him a small peck on the lips.

“No, it was actually on You Who Came from the Stars. You know, that new drama on SBS with Kim Soo Hyun and Jun Ji Hyun?” He sighs when I give him a blank look, as if saying, “God, you’re hopeless”, and his pout is so cute it almost made me forget that he’s still shaking his limbs. “Anyway, she said that this method lessens the swelling on your face after eating ramen.”

“That’s ridiculous, Donghae.”

“No, it’s not! Have you seen Jun Ji Hyun in this drama? She’s gorgeous, Hyukjae. Doesn’t look a day over 25!”

“It’s a drama, baby.”

“What do you know about dramas?”                                                                                             

I laugh, throwing my head back a little, feeling all the fatigue wash away from my body. I don’t stop laughing until Donghae stops his anti-swelling exercise and hits my face with the throw pillow. He sits up on the couch as he motions for me to lay my head on his lap and I quickly oblige, always up for a little pampering after practically killing myself at work.

“So, how’s that new M&A deal going?”

“ing horrible.”

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad,” he says soothingly, as he starts to comb his fingers through my hair.

“This company is a tough one. They just won’t budge,” I answer grimly, closing my eyes as I relish in his soft touches and his warmth. “If I don’t close this one, I might just lose my job.”

“You won’t. I know you’re going to make it,” he tells me encouragingly, with so much conviction in his voice that I almost start to believe him.

“How do you know?”

“Duh,” he starts and I open my eyes to look into his own. “Because you’re Lee Hyukjae, and you’re the best!”

I frown. “ I’m not.”

“Hyukjae,” he whispers, kisses the frown away from my face. “You are.”

 - - -

(You see the good in everyone

But you bring out the best in me.)

“Hey, you’re up early.”

I look into the mirror and see a sleepy-looking Donghae poking his head into the bathroom.

I smile at him, as I close the last buttons of my shirt. “Yeah, I was thinking about visiting my parents…”

His face immediately lights up and he quickly enters the room. “Really? Why?”

“I just,” I pause, turning to face him, suddenly feeling self-conscious in front of him, like I always do when we talk about my parents. “I was just… thinking about what you told me last week. Ever since you said that thing about forgiveness and being the bigger person… I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. And my dad. And how he’s been trying to reach me for years…”

Donghae takes my hand in his, gives it a little squeeze, and somehow I feel braver, like I could do anything. “That’s great, Hyukjae. Really great. Do you… do you want me to come along?”

“Do you want to come along?”

“Of course,” he says without hesitation that both surprises me and fills me up with so much love for him. “But promise me one thing.”

“Anything,” I say, meaning it, and I brace myself for just that – anything.

“Tacos. Every day. Two weeks.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

- - -

(Oh darling, you may be small

But you have the biggest heart of all.)

“So guess what happened today.”

“What?”

“I said, guess!” Donghae insists, and I roll my eyes at him.

The thing about Donghae is you can never ever guess how his day went. It’s like he never does the same thing twice. Essentially, as a photographer, he always takes picture, but every day is a different experience for him. Every day, he sees the world through his lens a little differently. With Donghae, a flower is not just a flower – it is life, beauty, and a symbol of spring, a new beginning. A stranger is not just a stranger – it is a face marked with a story, a body with a purpose, a heart with desire, a soul with connections to this world and the people around him. So, really, guessing game with Donghae is always a losing battle.

“I don’t know… you took pictures… and then you saw something really cute… and you got distracted for the rest of the day.”

“Close enough,” he utters excitedly, putting his chopsticks down and I know I’m getting a blow by blow. “Well, I was walking around the neighbourhood, just trying to get some inspiration, when I saw a puppy.”

I can practically hear the dun dun dun dunnnnn in my head.

“A really cute puppy. He’s white and tiny, and really, really cute.” He pulls out his iPhone and shows me a picture of the puppy.  “Anyway, I think Bada – that’s the name I gave her – was abandoned. Which baffles me, because why would anyone let go of such a cute little thing? Right?”

“Right.”

It’s coming.

“So, I was thinking…”

Here it goes.

“Maybe we should adopt her. I mean, just for the time being,” he adds quickly, before I could get a word in. “Hyukjae, I’m not saying we should, like, adopt her forever. I’m just saying we should take care of her while I look for a shelter. Sounds good, right?”

“Donghae, I—“

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“I haven’t even said anything!”

“But you’re looking at me with that face.”

“What face?”

“That Donghae-is-up-to-no-good-again-how-can-I-say-no-to-him-without-breaking-his-heart face.”

Damn, he’s good.

“I am not making a face, Donghae,” I argue, realizing for the nth time that I’ve lost even before this “fight” has started. “I was just about to say that it’s a good idea.”

“Really?!”

No.

“Of course!”

- - -

(No matter how many times we fall

You pick both us right back up, never losing hope.)

“Hey, Hyukjae?”

His voice startles me, thinking he was already asleep. It is late, my tenth late night since the month started, and I was not expecting him to be waiting up for me.

“Yeah?”

“Can we talk?”

His voice is soft, almost lulling me to sleep, but there is also this urgency that worries me, and tells me that whatever it is he has to say is important.

“Of course,” I whisper back, scooting closer, into his side of the bed. I wait in silence for him to start talking, but he remains quiet, his breaths coming out slow. “Well, what is it? You can tell me.”

“It’s just that... I’ve noticed you’ve been working a lot lately and I’m getting worried.” He touches my faces and he gives me a kiss so soft, so gentle that almost makes me feel guilty for not spending more of my nights with him. “I just… I just want to know if this has anything to do with what the orphanage director said. Be honest. Okay? I want you to tell your husband the absolute truth.”

I sigh, now lying face up, afraid that I might start tearing up if I look at him while I tell him everything.

“I didn’t want you to know.”

“But I know you, Hyukjae.”

“I know, and that’s what makes this so hard sometimes. I don’t… I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, helpless? Like I can’t do anything right anymore?” My voices starts to sound desperate, broken, and I feel ashamed, small, unworthy of Donghae, of his presence, and his love. Unworthy to be sharing this bed, this life with him. “I promised you that we’d be happy. That we’d build a home, a family together. And I’m trying… so hard. To give you the life I promised. But—“

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is. If only I worked harder, earned more, then maybe…”

“We both know our household income was just an excuse to reject us, Hyukjae,” Donghae says softly, and I start crying for Donghae, for myself, for us, and for the baby we could have raised together, the child we could have loved and nurtured, as if he was our own flesh and blood. I cry and cry, over how unfair the world was to us, until I couldn’t cry anymore.

Donghae’s arms are around me, warm and comforting. Accepting. Loving. Exactly what I needed to heal, to stop the self-loathing, the blaming.

“Let’s work hard together, okay? But not too hard. Let’s not lose each other in this journey,” he tells me, as he brushes his lips on my skin. “One day, we’ll prove them wrong.”

- - -

(You are the reflection

Of all my hopes and all my dreams

And every moment that I am with you

Makes me feel there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.)

“I’m glad we went on this trip.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Even if this hotel ?”

“Yeah.”

“Even if you stepped on cow ?”

“How do know you it’s cow ? Wait, you know what? Don’t answer that, I don’t want to know. But yes, Donghae, even if I stepped on an unidentified .”

“Even if I almost made us miss our flight?”

“Well… that did tick me off a little. But we’re here, right?”

“Okay, that’s great.”

“Mhmm…”

“I just really wanted to take you away from all that stress, you know? And you know how I am when I get excited. I forget everything! Even my passport. I just—“

“Donghae, I know. Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

…

“Maybe we can do this again.”

“Yeah! Definitely!”

“But maybe next time, I’ll do all the planning.”

“…good idea.”