Opened ... My eyelids were opened once more allowing my retina to watch one day of my parched life. My body was lying loose on my bed ... in my chamber... in my dim house. The room was highlighted by dark pure shadow which drenched the entire side, as if I was blind. But there were a few pieces of sun’s ray smuggling into this room, passing the side lines of the curtain.

I hate to stare at them; I didn’t dare to open the curtain; I refused to move from this position.

Then I heard a fancy sound on the road before my window. I remember very well who the owner of that sound was. As if my dead body reincarnated, supported by a drop of hope, I woke from my shabby bed, followed by a squeak. I walked through the dark of my chamber toward the sound then pull half of the curtain. Vaguely and surely, the sun’s ray hit my face. Then I stared out the window with narrowed eyes.

In the outside of world across my window; the one drenched by the light, there was a girl wearing a blue shirt with maroon cardigan and black short skirt, exchanging words with a man who was sitting in a scarlet mustang, where the fancy sound was coming from.

I looked at both of them with hollow heart.

"How incongruous..." I thought, seeing him showered by her smile.

The girl was Jenny. A friend, a best friend and also an Eve whose name was painted in the core of my heart, someone who had known me since the first time I could spell. Long enough for her smile to penetrate and contaminate my mind. We were friends, wish we were more. We had lived together since we were wearing the same alma mater. She was a spoiled girl whom I always stayed close to, either in yellow or blue. A girl who couldn’t do anything; I never saw her cooking even once, and she was not too smart, rather sloppy. All this time I was the one who took care of her; cooked for her; enroll her into college; took care of her when she was sick; even I let her stayed in my rented house. I couldn’t think any reason why I could love her. Well, some people said that love was blind.

The man was gone; Jenny gave him a gentle wave of her hand and a beautiful smile that I always desired.

"Cklak" the door opened, I knew it was her.

Finally she returned from her boyfriend’s gold hovel and came back here... my straw villa. I heard her tiny step tracking the corridor, oh... I love that sound.

I looked in the mirror and combed my hair, then out of my hide.

The corridor was empty already. Surely she had entered into her cozy chamber. But the perfume she used was still wandering there.

I went to my simple kitchen, preparing a couple of cups, a teapot and a few dishes, wanted to make her breakfast. Surely she was hungry after having overnight with her boyfriend. I heard sounds of water sprinkle from Jenny's room.

"She must be in the shower" I muttered as preparing waffles.

I imagined about her after shower, wearing Tosca nightie; her wet hair definitely looked charming; and the scent of her shampoo and soap that she used would fill her room. I couldn’t wait to see her.

As long as shadow emgracing the world, my heart felt this sad but i had no one to talk to. I couldn’t smile broadly last night, but had no one beside me.

‘Maybe I was missing you.

Television was my only friend at night. Barely went to sleep until the sun rises in the morning.
I was too shabby, I liked you a lot.
After you left, the blue sky seemed like it was just yellow.
Wondering where you were last night, I was here.
You were in love with someone else.
Some other love, I miss you.’

…

The sound of a closed faucet reached my ear, she had finished, so did I. I opened a small bottle that I took right beside the sugar, and poured the transparent liquid in it into the two cups of hot tea as complement. Immediately I put the two cups on the tray with the breakfast menu standing on it.

I arrived at the front of her chamber’s door. There was no sound heard, thought she must have fallen asleep. But my intuition said another.

"She was crying"

And I have more faith in my intuition.

I opened the door and looked throughout the room.

...She cried. She was crying on her white bed; under the red netting.

"I know whom you're crying for" my mind said.

That bastard! Yeah, I refer to her lover.

‘You'd cry over him time after time. How much longer are you going to cry yourself silly? But I was already tired telling you; reminding you. There was another woman by his side, your friends knew, I knew, even you would say that I was right. But every time I said sharply about him, you became mad.

"He's definitely not that kind of person" you said emphasize.

I heard you said so helpless, so I backed off and said:

"I'm sorry, I probably got it wrong.”

...... See? I lied for you.

They said that love was blind. Yeah! You had been blinded by it.

Couldn’t you see there was me, who always there for you; always watch you; and always loved you.

What did he have and I didn’t?

What did you see on him and not on me?

Who made you smile and who the one who took it from you?

Please, I beg you, Broke up with him!

Today you were always crying over you shameful self; you couldn’t leave him. You loved him too much.

Expensive cars, beautiful clothes, high-class restaurants, they all suit you well, But that bastard beside you, he didn’t suit you, he really didn’t.
He smiled like a hypocrite with you, brushing your face and hair.
But he’d thinking of another woman for sure, how dare him.
The amount of tears you had cried, I want to make you happy by the same amount.
Rather than going through the pain alone, share some with me.
Please look at me, why couldn’t you realize that I was your love.
Why are you the only one who didn’t know?

I hated that you did not understand me.

I hated all this waiting.

I wanted to go, but I hated to go alone.’

...

Slowly I opened the door of her chamber.

"Hi," I said.

She looked at me. Her eyes were wet flushed; tears stripes decorated her cheeks; her wet hair was messed, it seemed she had not have time to comb it. Her stiff lips forced to answer my little greeting

"Hi."

I step on her room’s floor, and put the tray full of breakfast menu on a wooden table.

Her room was as usual, in contrast to mine, white ornate classic furnishings with three windows and lit by a sparkling lamp ornaments.

I gently swung my hands signaled her to come and ate the breakfast I made.

She shook her head. As usual, she was spoiled, waiting for me to pick her up and pulled her over. Yes, I intended so.

I walked slowly toward her, still crying. She was not ashamed to show her tears to me. I didn’t know how many tears you spent for him. Seeing you crying for him in front of me made my mental torn out.

I pulled her soft hand and placed her gently sitting on an antique sofa where my made breakfast in front of her.

She began to eat, my heart felt a little bit cold.

I sat close beside her. I took the comb from my pocket and started to comb her messy wet hair. United all the tip of her hair and repeatedly comb over towards the bottom. I put them on her left shoulder; make her tiny neck exposed to me.

 

Her wet skin, white neck and y collarbone made me tempted.

All of the breakfast had been finished. The only remaining just a pairs of antique cups of tea Fennel.

She looked exhausted, and she leaned on my shoulder.

"How was your evening?" I said, breaking the ice.

"As usual... great... yet miserable"

"Yes, I do not blame you. Considering he is your lover"

"Do not start arguing with me" her voice rose slightly.

"I'm sorry" I said innocently.

The atmosphere was icy all over again.

"The waffle that you made is surprisingly feels amazing" she said weakly.

"Yes, because this time is special."

"Special?"

I did not answer it.

I picked up a pair of cups in front of me and I gave her one.

"Thank you" she said.

We both toasted and drank together, sip by sip.

"Tasty" she said.

"Thank you" I said, taking the cup and put everything back on the table.

Atmosphere cooled once again.

We were silent noiseless. Like a lovers we leaning each other, enjoying the morning together. rarely I did this with her.

Suddenly Jenny's tears burst, swifter than she did before.

I hug her, hoping it would calm her down.

"I cannot take it anymore" she sobbed.

"What's wrong" I asked.

"I now feel like the most stupid woman in the world. He has frankly cheating in front of me and foolishly, I let him. Why I couldn't slap him, forget him, leave him" her sob echo became heavy.

"Then let him go"

She became quiet to hear me; she looked at me and said something that I already know.

"I can’t! I just can't do that! I do not want to! It's better than have to lose him ... but I have enough"

I paused, holding her tighter than ever.

"please!... please, Jenny! please don't cry. you always do this with me" I whispered to her, but she kept crying. He barely listened me.

I held my breath waiting for another minute to pass. Then, I said to her in smile,

"Don't you worry, I'll banish your misery soon"

Her cry stopped. She looked at me with his wet eyes, confused.

“Ugh!” all of sudden she growl, her face painted a shockingly pain. She tapped her forehead as if it was burned. Her physique now was wriggled by drops of odd sweat.

“Ma… my head, my eyes” she sighed weak.

Swiftly I took a handkerchief from my shirt pocket and wiped Jenny's drenched-hot sweat face. She said her eyes were trembling; her head was like stabbed by nails. I hold her hand, try to her pain.

Fondled her hair, and like a lover who has a sin to his woman, I said

"I'm sorry, but I have put a poison in our tea."

Her eyes looked up at me, retina move less. My body was ready to be slapped, even if she drew tears down my throat by a razor. My soul was ready to accept her curse and abuse.

but, with a most gentle smile she had, the most angelic face that I had ever seen. She said,

"Thank you"

I said nothing, and get confused.

I watched the entire surface of her face and gaze intent of her word a moment ago, well, no clue.

"I've always wanted to do this. But fear can always strap my intentions.

(She laughed).. as if you could read my mind. Yeah! You can always understand me; care of me, and loved me. Sorry... and...

Thank you! "

Gracefully shut eyelids; blood jeweled lips smiling at me. It's a view that made me happy.

She died in my arms.

It did not take long, my heart began to shake. My consciousness was started to be stolen by my angel of death. The stamina which I kept just to see her face necessarily as long as my god allowed me, was running out. 

The shadow of my past and her crossed.

I closed my eyelid; shut my parched life story, it’s a curtain call.

I’m ready to after her.

Her shadow was gone within my reach, but her presence still warm next to me.

I held Jenny's hands mild and sing a song as a lullabies death of us.

"Don't you worry, I'll be there soon" I gave her my final kiss on her forehead

and without I knew itu, my eyes couldn't see anything from this world... except, a girl who was smiling; waited for me in this infinite abyss.