“Hyera! I need some help over here!” I heard the voice of the vice president of the student council, Kim Joonmyeon, which made me groan in frustration. Jong In shot me a worried look but I just plastered on a fake smile and shook my head before saying that I’m fine.

Another typical reply to him.

“I’ll see you later…right?” Uncertainty dripped at the edge of his voice as his eyes looked over at me and I quickly turned my head, afraid to look straight at his gentle, brown eyes. I heard him sigh before I saw him shake his head at the corner of my eyes.

“Alright then,” He paused, finally getting my message before wrapping his arms around me. Before, his hugs were tight and warm but now, it felt empty and cold, like there was a wall between us. We both let out a shaky sigh before he stepped forward to gently brushed his lips on my forehead.

“I love you.”

Before, those words mean the world for the both of us but now, it felt like it was already chore that we need to do.

I banged my head on the table while Baekhyun, my best friend, watched me in amusement as I failed to solve the Math problem set out before me. I was supposed to tutor Baekhyun but then, it felt like he was the one tutoring me.

“Can we take a break?” I softly whispered, which made him chuckle and ruffle my hair in a brotherly manner.

“Alright. We’ll continue it after 20 minutes, hm?” He slapped his knee and stood up, heading for the bedroom door. He stopped in mid-way and turned to look at me with worry visible on his face, especially in his eyes.

“You know, Hyera-“ My phone rang, signaling there was a call. Baekhyun bit down on his lip before walking out the door, shaking his head and muttering incoherent words to himself. I fixed my stare at him, a little confused at his actions but I decided to dismiss it as if it was just out of habit.

“Hello?” I let out a tired sigh once I answered the call. I didn’t get to look at the caller ID and just fixed my stare at the wall, waiting for a reply.

“Hyera?” I heard his soft voice and I felt the guilt eating me up once more. I lowered my head, even if he can’t see it and let out a soft sigh.

“Jong In, I’m sorry but I don’t think-“

“It’s f-fine.” He shakily said and I wanted to take back my words and eat them but I just stayed silent. I never liked lying to him because I know I’ll just hurt him more.

“Just take care of yourself, alright?” His voice became a shaky whisper as he quickly ended the call. I continued to listen to the dial tone, my heart breaking into pieces as I buried my head in my book.

I didn’t mean to hurt you.

“Hyera, please focus.” Joonmyeon nudged me slightly on the elbow and shot me a wary look as he averted his eyes back to the principal. I just simply nodded my head and tried to focus my line of vision on the principal but my mind kept on drifting back to Jong In.

If I remembered correctly, I’ve rejected about 30 dates prepared by him, ever since I became the president of the student council. I’ve always loved being an officer but ever since he came and stepped into my life, I felt like I was slowly neglecting my work as a president and as his girlfriend.

The boring meeting finally ended and I stood up from the chair, stretching my arms a bit before letting out a small yawn. Joonmyeon didn’t seem to be satisfied by my behavior because he quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me into a corner in the room, once everyone was out.

“Why do you seem so distracted today?” He harshly let go of my arm and I bit my lip from screaming out loud. Joonmyeon has always the image of the perfect teacher’s pet and we both knew that he doesn’t want that kind of image made by the students and teachers to be ruined.

“Nothing.” I mumbled mindlessly as I shifted my gaze down on my feet, avoiding his eyes while he let out a sigh of frustration, combing his fingers through his hair. He turned to glare at me and I cringed slightly at how he glared at me.

“Look, whatever is on your mind now, can you make sure that you won’t let it distract you?” He let out a low growl as he sent me a hard stare, making me nod my head forcibly. He let out another sigh before his eyes softened once more, like what he does after he becomes angry and scolds me.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and stared back at me, making sure that I won’t cry, like what I always did, back in the past. But then, the door swung open, revealing Jong In with a bouquet of red roses in his hands.

Joonmyeon let go of my shoulders and averted his eyes towards Jong In, who was now gripping on the bouquet, his face was slowly going red. Joonmyeon glanced at me worriedly, finally getting the message about what’s happening. But I ignored Joonmyeon’s worried looks as I hesitantly and slowly approached Jong In, who looks like he was just betrayed.

“I can explain-“

“So that’s why you always reject our dates.” He spoke quietly but his voice was filled with bitterness, disappointment and hurt. I quickly shook my head, afraid that he was getting the message twisted up.

“Look, Jong In, it’s not what you think-“

“Oh, really?” He let a scoff slip out of his lips as he harshly threw me a glare and at Joonmyeon, who was right behind me. I just wanted to burst out crying and shout at him when I just stood there, my lips were starting to quiver slightly. I called out his name but he just threw me a hurt and hatred filled look at he slowly back away, his grip on the bouquet was starting to loosen.

I called out his name once more but he just shouted at me to get away. Joonmyeon tried to hold me back, knowing clearly that there was a fight going on but I coldly shook him off and continued to approach the shaking Jong In in front of me.

“Jong In, please-“

“I said, shut up.”

“Jong In, you don’t understand-“

“I said shut up!” He raised his voice as he approached me in long strides; his eyes were filled with tears already. I opened my mouth but instead, I was greeted by his right hand on my cheek. I held onto my face, the tears finally falling carelessly from my eyes as I looked at his reaction.

He was pretty shocked and he quickly backed away, his hand were shaking terribly. I held my cheek and approached him but he ran out of the door, without any words hanging in the air.

Nothing at all.

“Jong In, please pick up.” I drummed my fingernails against the hard wood of the table; my mind was filling in with anxiety and worry. The dial tone kept on greeting my ears as I let out another sigh and called him once more.

It’s been a week since that incident last happened and he hasn’t been answering my calls, texts, and voicemails. He always avoided me when we see each other in the hallways and in the classroom and it hurts so much. I lowered my head and before I knew it, tears started to rush down my cheeks. I in a deep breath as I stood up and glanced outside; the rain was falling hard but it softly pattered on my window, just like a relaxing music.

I was brought back to reality when I heard the doorbell ringing continuously and crazily, as if someone outside needed help desperately. I quickly rushed the stairs, making sure that I won’t slip, before rushing toward the door to open it. My jaw hit the ground when I saw who was waiting in the cold, his rams around him, trying to warm himself.

Kim Jong In.

“What are you doing here, you idiot?!” I shouted and he just lowered his head, like a puppy being scolded by his master. I grabbed his arm and squeezed it before pulling him inside, away from the cold rain pattering softly outside.

He just stood there in his spot while shaking, his whole body felt hot. I slowly reached and touched his forehead, only to retreat it because his temperature was high. I quickly ran towards the bathroom, making sure that I won’t slip on my way there. I hurriedly tried to find some towels and a bucket of cold water to cool him down.

I walked out of the bathroom, only to find him curled up on the couch, trying to keep himself from shivering in the cold. I reluctantly walked toward him and crouched in front of him, watching him shiver under his lightweight jacket.

“Jong In, why are you such an idiot?” I softly whispered as I dipped the towel in the cold water, making sure to squeeze it before folding it and placing it on his forehead. I took out some medicine out of the drawer and grabbed a bottle of water.

I grabbed some blankets from upstairs and wrapped him up tightly, making sure he was comfortable. He weakly opened his eyes and gently placed his head on my shoulder as I tried to help him up to let him drink the medicine.

After drinking the medicine, I let him lay down on the couch and carefully watched him open and close his eyes from time to time. He weakly whispered my name and I obediently went near to him, wondering what he needs now. But what he said to me surprised me.

“I-I’m sorry.” He croaked out as tears started to gather at the edge of his eyes. He shook his head slightly but I held his face firm, locking my eyes with his own gentle and brown ones.

“I’m supposed to be the one who’s sorry. If only I became your ideal girlfriend, this wouldn’t happen. Everything would have been better than ever but I ruined everything.” I quietly said as I gently lowered my head and brushed my lips over his soft cheek. He shivered slightly before his body relaxed once more, getting more comfortable.

“No, if I only let you explain, I wouldn’t have hurt you.” He pulled his hand and gently ran his thumb over my cheek, where tears were falling down carelessly. I held his hand and kissed his fingertips, making him softly chuckle and grabbed hold of my hand as tightly as he could.

“I love you. Only you, Jong In. It never entered my mind that there was someone out there better than you because I’ve always kept my eyes on you.” I let out my confession and kept my voice steady and sincere as I glanced at his reaction. A smile formed on his soft, luscious lips as he he gently nodded his head.

“I love you too. And only you.” I smiled softly as his sweet confession as I kneeled in front of him and gently brushed my lips over his, feeling blissful at the moment. I felt him smile back as he weakly kissed back, trying grasp every emotion I sent into that kiss.

I pulled away and held his face, smiling softly. He gladly returned the smile as he reached over and hugged me, embracing my smaller frame. No matter how many times he had said those words to me, it still feels like the first time.

“I love you.”