when the rain pours, and the music flows

I think of you,

On the night that you left

The rain fell like this

           “Luhanie, would you help me? This is for table number 3” Xiumin gives me the coffee.

            “Sure”             I take it and go to table 3.

            “Come to my home, tonight? I just bought new movie!” ask me to him. He looks busy making the coffee.

            “Ya, Umin hyung!” I poke him until he turns around,

            “Okay, okay, I got it” he smiles at me, and I can’t help beside smiling back.

            “So, you have no class tomorrow morning rite?” ask me. He nods, “Let’s take morning shift tomorrow”

            “Okay, that means you’ll sleep at my place- Wait!” I run immediately to outside,

            “Luhan? What happened?” Xiumin run after me. My eyes still searching.

            “I think I saw someone that I know” No way, it’s impossible.

            “Who?” I shakes my head. “Nope, forget it”

***

            “Luhan!” shouts Xiumin to me.

            “Whaat? You don’t need to shout”

            “What are you thinking? I’ve called you hundred times. You don’t even listen what I said, rite?” he pouts cutely, makes me chuckles.

            “Of course I’m listening you. I always” and I’m not lying. We arrived at my apartment, I press the code and the door opens. This is not the first time he comes here, actually, almost every night after our job he came. Sometimes he sleeps here if tomorrow he has no class.

            I throw my bag and go to my room, change my cloth to my comfortable pajama, and take out the dvd. Xiumin already sat on the sofa, he really looks handsome with his t-shirt. No, he just two up buttons, not topless, I never saw him topless, you know, even I curious-

            “Why are you standing there?” he looks at me handsomely. I mean, curiously.

            “I’m coming” I put on the dvd and sit beside him.

            “Sad movie?” ask him. I focus on the movie, didn’t answer him.

            “Sad movie?” ask him again.

            “You know that I hate sad movie”

            “But this is sad movie” he rounds his arm around my shoulder, pull me into his chest. I put my head up to see his face.

            “Really? I thought it’s horror.” I try to focus on the movie. “But I heard this movie is good, let’s just watch it”

            “No, no” he takes the remote and stop the movie. I just wanna protest, but he grabs my face softly. “Remember the last time we watched sad movie? You’ll be hurt, and I hate it.” I can’t look at his eyes. “ Let’s watch the other film next time, okay? For now, let’s sleep.” I just nod.

            “But you sleep here, rite?” I look at his eyes this time. “Please?”

And I smile when he nods.

            Well, I remember exactly the last time we watched sad movie. I.. cried. That’s normal rite? But I can’t stop crying even the movie has ended. An hour, two hours, three hours, until I  locked myself in bed room. Xiumin was really worried that time. He tried to calm me down and comfort me.Yeah, sad movie makes me cry. But you can’t blame the movie, or blame me. Blame him, who has died two years ago. Because crying just make me remember about him again, about us. And I had cried much until I met Xiumin, so I don’t wanna cry anymore and forgetting him.

            Yes, he has died. Oh Sehun. My brother. My twin. My love. Has died.

I even didn’t see him for the last time. Mom and Dan sent me back to China immediately. And I just can crying and crying. I didn’t believe that he was dead. I tried to contact Chen hyung, mom, dad, anyone! But no result.  Time passed, and I had no options beside believing that he has died.

            Believing that he has died didn’t mean I can receive it. I decided to take part time job at a café, and there I met Xiumin. He trained me as a bartender, and that made us closer and closer. I really feel comfortable with him, and I smile when he held my hand for the first time. Is it wrong? I thought about it every night, asking myself if I love him and yes, I love him so much. But still, I can’t forget ‘him’.   

***

            “Finally you awake, sleepy head” he hugs me back while I wash the dishes.

            “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

            “Because you will do that” I turn around and poke his nose with foam. “Oh! You look so cute! Hahhaa, wait!” I wash my hand and take my camera. He looks really cute with his messy hair, sleepy face, and foam on his nose.

“Go shower, we should go to café soon!” I push him to bathroom.

“Hah, why today should be raining?” complained me under the umbrella. We just off from the bus and now we should walk to the café.

“I like rain. Why do you hate rain?” asks Xiumin.

“If you like rain, why do you use umbrella?” whisper me.

“What?”

“No, nothing.”

Suddenly I hear my phone’s ringing. Unknown number?

Curiously, I pick it up, and I feel time stop when I heard, “Yeoboseyo?”

***

            Luhan  just opened the door when rain is falling. “Hua, it’s raining!” shouts him. “Sehun-ah, bring the umbrella!”

            Not long, Sehun outs with an umbrella, and they both walked out.

            “Hah, why today should be raining?” nagged Sehun under the umbrella.

“I like rain. Why do you hate rain?” asked Luhan.

“You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it.” said Sehun, made Luhan looked at him curiously.

“You say you love sun, but you seek shade when it is shining.

You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your window.”

He stops and looked at Luhan, “So that’s why I’m scared when you say you love me” he smiles at Luhan’s expression. “I beg you never heard it, huh? That’s a famous quote from Bob Marley”

Luhan shaked his head, “First time heard it”

Then they walked again,

            “So?”

            “What?”

            “What do you think of that quote?” asked Sehun. Luhan looks thinking.

            “Maybe I say I love rain, and use the umbrella to walk under it. But I never say that I love sun, or wind. And when I say I love you,” Luhan tipped toe and kiss Sehun, “I really mean it”

Sehun laughed with Luhan’s answer. “How about you?” asked Luhan.

            Sehun stops, made Luhan’s uniform a bit wet.  “I love nothing except you”

***

            “Can you go to park near your apartment, this evening?”

            “Luhan?”

            “Hyung”

            “You still understand Korea right? Hahha. I’ll wait you”

No way.

He has died. Two years ago.

But that voice-

Alright, ten minutes. I’ll wait him here ten minutes. Just ten minutes.

He’s right, I have Xiumin now. He wipes my tears softly, and I look at his eyes. There’s pain there, deep pain.

            “Stop smiling” said me.

            “How can’t I smile when you’re here?” he hugs me. This is real. He is real.

            “Can you explain what’s happened? They said you dead”

            “I’m not. Well, not yet. You have no idea how sad I was when I opened my eyes but I can’t find you. Mom and Dad knew about us, and they want separate us” He release his hug.

            “I should go now” and he walk away. One step, two steps, I follow him. And rain starts falling.

            “Why are you following me?”

            “I love you, Sehun” Yeah, I love him. He looks at something at my back,

            “But there’s Xiumin standing behind you, he’s a lot better than me” Xiumin? Reflects, I turn around. But there’s nobody.

            “See? If you love me, you wouldn’t turn around” I turn around, and see he’s smiling, and that time, my tear’s falling.

            “So, this is our end hyung. I hope you’d happy with him”

            “No!” I have no energy anymore. “No, Sehun. Please, don’t go!” I shout, trying to beat the rain sound.

            “Look hyung, rain’s falling. You love rain, right?” I nod, “And I won’t wear umbrella”

But he shakes his head, “You’ll be sick, hyung” and then he goes. No matter how loud I said him to  don’t go, he didn’t listen. I still can see him until Xiumin comes with an umbrella.

***

            “So that’s it? You spent your 2 years to found him, and it’s just end like this?” said Chen.

Sehun takes a deep breath and sit on the sofa with his wet body. “What else can I do , hyung?”

            “Fight for him, tell him how much you love him, how was your life like for this two years, how hard you found him” Sehun shakes his head.

            “He loves someone else now”

            “But-“

            “Maybe this is the best for us, you can’t fall in love with your own brother, your twin”