“Yah! Hyungs~!!!”

Sehun demandingly called out to his fellow former EXO members scattered across Luhan’s living room. “How come we’re all over 60 and every single one of us is still single?”

    There was a pregnant pause as the other members let Sehun’s question sink into their mush-filled brains.

    Eyes shifted and necks were rubbed silently in the awkward time lapse.

         Upon hearing the maknae’s shameless question Kris fired back that it was because “Not all ladies appreciate specialty eyeliner shop owners like Baekhyun.”

         “….and not all women our age like revolutionary health-drink inventors like Kai,” replied Chen, referring to Kai’s newly opened business.

“And rolling like a buffalo isn’t exactly the most attractive thing ever”, retorted Tao.  

         The rambling and complaining went on for another four minutes or so while all the members contributed their suggestions.

After an awkward pause and a stinky fart from Chanyeol, Luhan spoke up.

         “Well I’m obviously single because those senseless fangirls would not let me date anybody because of my not-so-secret ‘relationship’ with Sehun.”

         Sehun let out a nostalgic sigh as he recalled how Luhannie and himself had come upon the poorly kept secret of Hunhan.

***(flashback)***

         ….It was a cheerful spring day with dandelion fuzz blowing freely through the wind. There was a fluffy vibe to the atmosphere in Seoul that day. The world was tinted with a delightful hue of pale yellow as the sun softly beat down onto earth.

         Luhan stepped out of the dorm with Sehun trailing close behind.

Something big is going to happen today

Luhan thought to himself; he could sense it.

The adorable duo took a brisk walk to the local bubble tea shop. Both ordered wintermelon tea with pearls and sinkers. The two boys sat across from each other at a round table by the window of the shop. Sehunnie gazed into Luhan’s sparkling doe eyes and felt flutters erupt in the pit of his stomach. Luhan returned Sehun’s adoring stare with an equally innocent one.

    Luhan leaned forward to take a sip of the heavenly chilled beverage placed before him when he felt has right pocket vibrating.

    “Ah! I’m vibrating!” he yelped. Sehun peered curiously at the screen of Luhan’s Samsung Galaxy Note as he took it out of his pocket.

    Luhan’s perfectly sculpted eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he read a new text message from EXO’s manager. The text read as follows:

    “Hey Luhan check out this link:

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/00012/hunhan-fakelink“

“hmmm….” Luhan hummed under his breath as he opened the link.

    Luhan’s nervous eyes shifted uneasily down the page as he continued scrolling down. He scanned the text a few times. By the third time, his hands were covered in a slick layer of sweat. Due to his surprised state and perspiring hands, he nearly dropped the phone onto the neon-tiled floor.

He nearly choked on the bubble tea that had not completely made it’s way down his throat. Luhan was shocked to find a fanfiction that was about…..himself and Sehunnie??? He skimmed through the oneshot hastily and ended up gagging at the lust-filled ty fanfiction that was thrown at him.  His mind reeled in shock.

Those fangirls are so ridiculous! It probably doesn’t even go into that much detail in 50 Shades of Grey...omigod omigod; very nasty….must not let Sehun see….Luhan mentally recited. He stuffed the oversized smartphone back into his pocket and continued on as if nothing happened.  

I wonder what I did to deserve this kind of mental scarring; what the mother of kimchi did I ever do to manager hyung?! As Luhan sat there retracing his interactions with the manager, a lightbulb light up Luhan’s mind. Oh yeah! It was when I hacked into the manager’s computer and switched EXO-K’s and EXO-M’s schedules last Friday so that Kris, Xiumin, and I could have some time to play soccer together.

….but that wasn’t THAT bad. There had to be something else….

OH YES! How could he have forgotten? This was payback for when I replaced every contact in the manager’s phone with the name “ sloth”....and I also replaced each contact’s profile picture with this one:

Not to mention the fact that I replaced every phone number in his contacts with South Korea’s national ordering hotline.

When he looked up from his perplexed daze Luhan found Sehun prying through his soul with demanding scrutiny. Show. Me. What. It. Says, the look seemed to tell him. Luhan tried to look away but Sehun’s piercing gaze was burning into his skull.

    Without being able to resist any longer, Luhan whipped out the phone once again and slapped it down on the table with excessive force. He d for Sehun’s hand across the table and stared into the eyes of the younger boy.

“This has some….questionable content….do not take this fanfiction too seriously….”

and at the most world-changing moment in history, Luhan handed over the phone.

After thoroughly examining the fanfiction, Sehun never looked at his hyung the same. He looked up and uttered one word.

“YEHET.”

Naturally, Oh Sehun did the exact opposite of his hyung’s instructions.

Sehun let the fanfiction manifest his mind, conquer his soul, and posses his heart; would take the fanfiction with him to the grave.

    Sehun snapped back into reality and emerged from his dreamy flashback.

    “I think I prefer being single anyways.” he said with a sigh and a chiding smirk toward Luhan.