*Creak, creak, creak*      

The threadbare rocking chair shrieked as an elderly Xiao Luhan contemplated which chronicle of his dazzling past he would enlighten his six precious grandchildren with today.

   He tossed a few imaginative ideas around in his mind, meticulously judging which one would entertain his adopted grandchildren to the greatest extent.

        A memorable anecdote came to mind:

I could tell them about the time I swapped Chanyeol’s entire wardrobe (down to Chanyeol’s ‘special’ cross-dressing bra) with extra-absorbent adult diapers; he thought to himself and considered the idea thoroughly.

Deciding that idea would lead to some less-than-amusing results, he decided to drop the notion entirely.

...or maybe about the time Sehunnie and I sold Tao’s vintage Gucci collection and his favorite wushu stick on the black market for almost $39,260…

Luhan continued amusing himself with recollections of pranking his fellow members back when he was in his prime; boasting silently about what an adroit mischief-maker he was. Lost in a sense of smug pensiveness; the resounding voice of his youngest adopted granddaughter, Meixiu, almost breezed past his ears. The delicate child impatiently urged her grandfather to hurry it up with his decision making process.

“Ah!” Luhan yelped out loud, having come to a satisfactory conclusion.

He opened his mouth to reveal his mind-blowing, life-changing story to the world-

      Before the first syllable could leave the cavern of his mouth, a stampede of 11 too-fabulous-to-be real/drop dead gorgeous ahjussis rudely barged into the front door of Luhan’s magnificent pastel-pink cottage. The eleven men grandpa-shuffled (in Chanyeol’s opinion, ‘swaggered’) into Luhan’s story circle in a painfully slow and despairingly uncoordinated manner.

(Luhan’s overwhelmingly pink residence)

       Luhan couldn’t say that he was the least bit disappointed with the random visit from his 11 closest comrades. If anything, seeing his fellow aliens from EXO planet warmed his heart and flooded his soul with a sense of euphoria.

Luhan’s grandchildren did not feel the same way.

       Meixing let out a blood curdling screech, while Jia looked like she was ready to barf up the bubble tea that Luhan had treated her to earlier. Xin Qian let out a stream of startled Chinese curses (which drew dubious glances from Lay and Tao). Meanwhile Luhan’s three adopted grandsons (Jinsong, Junhyun, and Minjun) observed the intruders with shameless inquisitiveness; which Kyungsoo found to be quite adorable.

       These reactions were no surprise, considering that no matter how many times Luhan explained to his grandchildren that Baekhyun would not tattoo eyeliner marks onto their eyelids, Chanyeol-ahjussi truly isn’t a creeper-turned-e, and that Kris isn’t Jack Frost and he will not turn them to ice if they started at his paper-white hair for too long, Meixing, Jia, Xin Qian, Jinsong, Junhyun, and Minjun could never bring themselves to believe him.

       After Lay and Xiumin calmed the startled children down with their omnipresent adorable charms, the remaining elderly men provided their loving greetings to the younger-ones in the room; cooing over them as if the kids were their own grandchildren.

        As the eleven ahjussis trailed into their own corners of Luhan’s massive house, the children wiggled in their seats in excitement. Suho ahjussi was here. And to the children, that could only mean one thing.

        Toys. Lots of toys.

It meant never ending mounds of the most gorgeous, entertaining, shiny novelty play things on the market, all graciously paid off by Suho’s credit card.

Unsurprisingly, upon sight of the six precious youngsters that were laid before him, Joonmyun felt his hand instinctively twitch toward the left pocket of his yellow-and-white-polka-dot cords.

An obnoxious snicker elicited itself from someplace behind Joonmyun’s shrunken back. He heard Chen’s taunting voice utter something along the lines of

“$uho-hoe-hoe is in the house!”

But Joonmyun didn’t notice. This was possibly because his hearing was seriously starting to thin out, or because Chen’s mischievous snide comment was clouded by a storm of wheezy giggles.

 

Before Suho could catch himself, he heard himself say,

“Hey~! Mini Luhans! Who wants to take a trip to Toy Planet?”

Naturally, all six of the children plastered their signature doe-eyes onto their angelic faces, a mannerism which they had undoubtedly assimilated from Luhan. At that instant, Suho could swear he felt his heart flutter a little on the inside.

************

       Five hours and twenty-one minutes later, the six miniature Luhans and a tremendously exhausted-looking Suho pranced into Luhan’s picture-perfect pink chalet once again. The kids had a telltale sparkle in their eyes and giddy grins smeared across their faces. Suho was haphazardly balancing a tower of stuffed deer and panda plushies, a toy shaving kit, 3 pairs of leg warmers, a pair of electric-green dancing clogs, an oversized purple pajama onesie (probably for Luhan), a funny looking statue that may or may not be some sort of religious symbol, and a collectible Ariel costume.

   Luhan’s expressionless gaze flicked over Suho’s stunted body, and then continued climbing up the foothill of useless toys. Appreciatively he said, “Thanks for spoiling the non-biological grandkids for me. This reminds me of the good old days- When you would take us to Gangnam and we would stroll down the streets, buying heaps of fruitless rubbish that were worth less than what could easily be found in a Korean man’s toilet. You know, Kris would never do anything like this. That’s why I always enjoyed hanging out with EXO-K better.” he finished off his flirtatious remark with a wink and leaned back to spectate upon Suho’s reaction.

   A bead of nervous perspiration dribbled down the back of Suho’s shriveled neck. Without having an appropriate expression to display on his face, Suho humbly pretended like Luhan’s remark didn’t make him blush excessively on the inside. He casually plopped down into the comfy armchair next to the elderly deer, and began reading the latest issue of “Money Magazine”.

   While Suho was hiding his face behind the fiscally attractive magazine he wondered certain enigmatic thoughts to himself. Thoughts such as I wonder if anybody ships SuHan and Does EXO-M just love me for my money? The questions sank deep into his soul but before he could find a conscious answer, he discovered himself to be in a diligent slumber masked by the unmistakable hearty huffs and puffs of a rich-man’s snore.

   In a short time, dusk fell upon the perfect scenery at Luhan’s magnificent pink cottage. The sight of 12 unrealistically striking elder Asian men and six flawless children snuggled in an everlasting snooze upon various articles of furniture drifted through the moon’s vision as it rose to its lonesome position in the starry night sky.

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(A/N): Thanks for reading! I sincerly hope that you enjoyed this introduction chapter (^^) Please look forward to the next chapters coming soon~! xoxo