Myungso standing around at the nursery , he looked at his beautiful son who was squirming around in his sleep inside his baby box, a small smile spread on his handsome face when he saw his adorable son. He was really grateful because Sooyeol appeared on his life, Sooyeol giving a new meaning of his life and also giving a beautiful color in his dull life. Sooyeol like an angel to him. An angel without wings who open his cloudy heart with his shine, an angel who make him realize his actual feeling in his heart, an angel who open his eyes which blind of unreal love for his ex-boyfriend. Not only  that, for him Sooyeol is his life. Without Sooyeol, myungsoo wasn’t  sure if he can living his life now. Without Sooyeol maybe until now Myungsoo will live with his guilt feeling, but now Sooyeol is here in his life make him found new reason for life.Being a great father for his son, become a great role model for Sooyeol when he grow up later ,be someone that will make Sooyeol proud one day. The most important thing is Sooyeol made myungsoo realize his undying undeniable love for Sungyeol.

Lee Sungyeol, the beautiful guy who still lying on his bed, there was no progres about his condition besides his stable condition. Who knows how long he 'll fall asleep like that, maybe Sungyeol wanted to punish myungsoo. Maybe he wanted Myungsoo feeling the same as him waiting in despair  or maybe he just wanted to test how much Myungsoo love him and Sooyeol.

After seeing his son, Myungsoo went to Sungyeol room, the all-white room with a beautiful angel sleeping inside it, just the cardiograph the only music that sent the angel to sleep. The sound of the heartbeat detection was playing beautifully in Myungsoo’s ear as if telling him that Sungyeol’s heart is beating for him, a heart-beat that beating as same as like him. Deep inside, he know Sungyeol’s heart-beat also told him that Sungyeol still love him.

“ Indeed, I hope you still love me because I love you, Sungyeol. I really do, ” a small whisper came out of his thin lips as if he didn’t want anyone to know. Even he didn’t want the wind to hear it. He just wanted  Sungyeol to hear it to know it. Why? Because he knew  the others’ answers after heard it, as well as the wind. And he knew it will be a painfull answer.

‘You don’t deserve his pure love, you hurt him enough’

Myungsoo hold Sungyeol’s slender finger who now lying on the bed with IV drip on his hand. Myungsoo looked  at him with pleeding eyes while cares Sungyeol back hand with his.

“Does it hurt?”

“But, I know it’s nothing than the pain I gave to you right?, I’m sorry”

Myungsoo kissed Sungyeol’s back hand, he the smooth brown hair belonging to Sungyeol and landed a kiss on top of Sungyeol’s head. He never left his gaze at his pale yet beautiful wife. How much he missed to take a look at his beautiful eyes, how much he missed Sungyeol’s smile that always painted on his beautiful face,how much he missed Sungyeol’s beatiful voice when he called his name. However , a few moments later , a glimpse of a shadow appears on his head . He saw how Sungyeol tried to keep smiling when he hurt his feelings.  He saw how Sungyeol withstand pain when he bombards Sungyeol’s body with his passion,when the lust win over him and hurting Sungyeol with his demand. He remembered the hurt expression on Sungyeol’s face when he said another name on top him, he remembered the pain he caused when Sungyeol was pregnant and that almost made him lost the baby. The memory that playing on his head made him feel guilty and how much he wanted to make it better.

“ I’m sorry, Yeollie.  Let me get a second chance to fix everything,okay ?  I will make it better I’m promise ”

“ Sungyeol, you know,  Sooyeol is really handsome but also a beautiful son. He has our feature. His hands and foot are really tiny. When you see him, you will see that Sooyeol is really sweet and cute. Sooyeol is a smart kid . He never troublesome his father and his mother . He also never make his uncle Sunggyu and his aunty Woohyun in problem.  Maybe he is bit a cry baby but like I said before he is a nice boy.  Nurses and doctors here are also very fond of him. Our Sooyeol would cry when he misses his mother. But he will stop crying when he heard if his mother will be sad when he continued to cry . Sooyeol , he really misses you .  So wake up and see him, he miss his mother's touch and warmth. But I won’t let you fall in love with him because I just want you to be in love with me”, he joked. At least this was the only thing that could be done by Myungsoo although he knew Sungyeol would not respond.

***

Myungsoo was asleep in a chair while holding Sungyeol’s hands when suddenly his Hyung came into the room with crying Sooyeol in his arms .

“Myungsoo, sorry for bothering your sleep but I don’t know what to do. Sooyeol won’t stop crying”. Myungsoo stood up  and took Sooyeol into his arms.

“ssshhhh... shhhhh, daddy’s prince don’t cry” Myungsoo shook Sooyeol’s little body. Hoping that Sooyeol’s crying would be turn down. But, Sooyeol still couldn’t stop crying.

“ What happened, hyung ? “ Myungsoo asked to Sunggyu with worried eyes.

“ I don’t know, Myungsoo. I just got back from dropping Woohyun and Sunghyun go home. When I back here the nurse already hold him and tried to stop the cry but he keep crying.  I 've also tried to calm him down but the result is the same. So I take him here maybe he need you,but I guess it’s not you too he needed ” Gyu explained.

“ Sooyeol-ah, sshhh... Stop crying,baby.  Your mommy is sleeping  and he will be sad if he hear you cry”, Myungsoo tried to coax Sooyeol, but still the little angel didn’t stop his cry. Myungsoo walking closer to Sungyeol, hoping if Sungyeol heard his baby cried maybe he wanted to wake up and hold Sooyeol but nothing happened. Sooyeol crying even harder.

“ Looks like he misses his mother so much, doesn’t he ?” Sunggyyu said. He looked at this little family. He feel bad for them. He never thought this kind of thing would happen to his little brother or maybe it’s pushiment from God for his brat baby brother.

“uhhmm.. I guess so.. maybe Sooyeol misses his mother so much. He wanted his umma hear his cry and will awake. But it doesn’t work though. “

Sunggyu released a deep sigh and patted Myungsoo’s shoulder and gave him a rescue smile. Let him know that Sunggyu would always be there for Myungsoo and his little family.

“I guess I need to go now. You know,Sunghyun is little bit hard to handle if it’s just Woohyun.  uuh how I wished our Sunghyun will be like my little nephew . Smart and nice boy”, he looked  at Sooyeol.  Kissed him and wiped the the remain tears with his thumb.

“ A prince won’t looking good when he cry. A prince should be strong so he could protect and take care of people he loves. Get it”, Sungyu said with a thin smile on his face. Myungsoo was a bit taken back with Sunggyu’s word. it reminded him of himself when he was young, sulking and crying. Sunggyu always there for him. He felt like Sunggyu didn’t talk to Sooyeol . No. He talked to Sooyeol but indirectly talking to him too

“ Hyung,”

“ I need to go now, Myungsoo. Take care of yourself.  I will be here again with Woohyun and Sunghyun.  Sunghyun will really love to see Sooyeol. See you”, Sunggyu left the room . Now the room back to quite. Only Sooyeol’s little sobs could be hear.

“ I know you miss your mom,right?  I miss him too. But please stop crying. Sooyeol is a good son,isn’t he ? A good son won’t make his parent sad and a handsome son won’t look handsome if he cry, you won’t make Eomma and Appa sad too ,right?  So our good son,Sooyeolie ,stop crying honey. Appa know Umma definitely also miss Sooyeol . Sungyeol - ah , when will you wake up ? Look , Sooyeol missing you so much . He doesn’t want to stop crying . He needs you .. ” Myungsoo swung Sooyeol’s little body lightly. Shortly, Sooyeol stop his cry and Myungsoo could hear his soft snore. After make sure Sooyeol was sleeping soundly in his arms , he laid Sooyeol’s tiny body beside Sungyeol. Hoping mother and child could share the warmth .

***

When he comeback after he saw Sooyeol on his room, he met the doctor who check his wife. He really wanted to talk to the doctor but he also bored with the same answer the doctor would give about his wife,that Sungyeol in a good condition and he just need to wait until Sungyeol wake up from his long sleep

“Myungsoo-ssi”, the tall and hansome doctor approached Myungsoo who was standing frozen in front of the door with a thin smile painted on his face .

“ Ah,Doctor Shim, I just want to talk to you about Sungyeol”, he forced a smile in his face. His dimple made him look more beautiful even the tiredness and sadness could clearly seen on his face.

“ About that...”

“ Definitely the same answer right?”

“hemm, let’s talk and have some coffee in my office”, the doctor sound really serious and made myungsoo frowned. Doctor Shim rarely talking with that tone, i mean he is always serious but this time it seem really serious and that made Myungsoo bit worried about what would the doctor say.

Myungsoo following the doctor step to his room. Silence. There was no conversation betweem them until they reach the doctor’s office.

“Suit your self. Americano? Latte or caramel macchiato ?”

“latte, please”

“okay, I call my assistant for your latte and my americano”

“Doc, Can  you just tell me about what actually happen? ”

“ It’s about Sungyeol-ssi’s condition.  I can’t say what actually happen with him. Everything with his body is normal.  Even his heart the thing we tought will make his life in danger absolutely  work normal. But I guess complications during the childbirth, give him some negative impact. His heart work normal. There is nothing wrong with his brain. Some negative impact after giving brith should be gone by now and he will already awake but I really didn’t know why Sungyeol-ssi still in his comatose condition. Me and my team still working hard on it, but we just want you to ready with the worst possibility”  Dr.Shim trying to give an simple explanation to Myungsoo.Hoping he would understand with it.

“ You mean? ”

“ There is possibility that when Sungyeol wake up, he will have disablement impact from the complications and the other thing is there is also posibility that Sungyeol can’t make it. Im not sure if he will make it or not, ” Doctor shim said. And myungsoo just look at him with unreadable exspresion, he still tying to process every whod that docter shim just said

‘Im not sure if he will make it or not’

He comeback from his tought after Doctor Shim patted his back and gave him his latte.

“Drink it, maybe it can help to clear your mind and yeah give you some relax. Don’t worry I will really do my best to save him”, Doctor shim knew Myungsoo already feel defeated by his own worried and trying hard to accept all the posibility.

“ Thanks ”

***

Myungsoo still couldn’t get over about what the doctor have just said. About the possibility that Sungyeol will wake up or sleep forever.  He couldn’t even focus to his work but thanks to Hoya. He willingly took all of it. And the worst,  Myungsoo not even care about his own health. He rarely eat and sleep. There is black eyes bag under his eagle eyes.

Not even once he forget about dr.Shim word about his wife’s condition.  Annd few times his brother—Sunggyu asked him to stop think about the worst posibility, but still he couldn’t stop think about it. In other time he even think to just give up in his life. But there again Sooyeol and a wishper asked him to survive. Maybe he already dead now if it’s not Sooyeol and the wishper that make him think again about his choice. What if Sungyeol suddenly wake up when he already leave this world? And his own heart who told him what will happen to Sooyeol if he leave Sooyeol alone? Who will take care of him? Those tough gave myungsoo new motivation to fight and trying hard to be positive person.  But after the last time he met Dr.Shim, his positive mind break down.  What if Sungyeol would really leave him? Can he live without the love in his life? Can he take care of Sooyeol as single father?  What if sooyeol asked about his mother someday? How he should answer that? What should he replied when Sooyeol asked him why his mother left them ?

Deep sigh left his beautiful lips, he tried to relax his body. And walk to his bathroom to clean his now awful face.

“ you are really ed up, kim myungsoo”, he said

“ there is only Lee Sungyeol the one who can make you like this, is this your revenge to me,Sungyeol?”

Yes, Lee Sungyeol. You are really awesome made the almighty Kim Myungsoo up and down. First the arranged married and now the thing is currently happening to him.

After Myungsoo washed his face, he returned to his desk and took out a piece of paper. Black ink pen that he used to scratch the surface of the white paper. The pen danced on the white paper. Carve a series of sentences that ran around his mind.

***

He saw Woohyun cleaned his Sungyeol’s body with wet pink towel. Woohyun didn’t know that Myungsoo already there until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Aigoo,Myungsoo. You startled me”, said Woohyun with shocked face and hand on his chest. Myungsoo just chuckled at it and took the pink towel in woohyun hand

“Let me do it,Hyung.  You can take a rest and meet Gyu hyung. I’m sure he needs  your help to take care of Sunghyun and Sooyeol.”

“You are the one who need rest, Myungsoo. Look at your face, you look horrible ”

“ hmmm yeah, but I guess I have enough, Hyung.  Just go and let me take care the rest. I had enough trouble to ask you to take care of Sungyeol and Sooyeol when I work. Now I finished my work so let me take care of Sungyeol. You and Sunggyu hyung can go home now. Sunghyun need both of your attention.  So I will take care of Sooyeol—“

“Let me and Sunggyu hyung take care of Sooyeol too. I’m not sure if you can handle two person with this condition. Let me and Gyu hyung took sooyeol home.  I’m sure Sunghyun will like it because he will has a friend at home,” Woohyun cut Myungsoo word off while give him his smile. Myungsoo took some time to think about Woohyun’s word. Maybe he was right. He would have some trouble to take care both of the in one time. For now on he will focus on Sungyeol. It didn’t mean he would abandon Sooyeol. No.Never.  But Sooyeol would much better under Woohyun’s and Sunggyu’s parenting. So he could more focus on Sungyeol. He knew, Woohyun and Sunggyu would let him know about Sooyeol everyday.

“Heem thanks hyung. I don’t know what to thank you. I don’t know if I can pay you oneday. Sorry for always make you worried”

“No need, Myungsoo. You are part of the family. You are my little brother and also Sungyeol.  And I will take care of Sooyeol like I take care of my own son.  That’s our duty to take care of family member, right?  and don’t be sorry, Myungsoo. You didn’t do anything bad to us, just.... ask for Sungyeol forgiveness,” Myungsoo nodded his head and hug his bother in law. Woohyun hug him too and patting his back. After a while they released the hug and smile to each other. Woohyun left the room.Leaving myungsoo and sleeping Sungyeol alone.

Like always Myungsoo sat beside Sungyeol’s bed. He  took Sungyeol’s hand ,cares and kiss it.

“ Now Sooyeol in the hand of Sunggyu hyung and Woohyun hyung. They will take care our son. And he can play with our little nephew, Sunghyun.  Sungyeol-ah,  don’t you feel bored sleeping like this ? don’t you miss Sooyeol ? ”, he realesed a sigh

“Yesterday dr. Shim told me about the bad news  that I never want to know nad I hope they just did wrong or mixed your diagnosis with other. And Sungyeol, you need to wake up I’ve already replied your letter. You should read it after you wake up later. I put this below your pillow,okay ? Promise me you will read it. “

***

A pair of beady eyes read every words that were strung into a sentence with unreadable expression. Either sad,touched,happy  nor even disappointed. But glimmer of happines clearly showing from his beautiful eyes

‘finally’

Drop... drop.... drop...

The tears dropped. Wetting the later he read. He looked at the blue sky.  It’s not rain. If it’s not rain so what was it? Well that’s his own tears.

‘myungsoo’

He called that name in his heart. Just the wind and cloud could hear  voice of his heart

‘ I hope everything you said in this letter  are not a lie ‘

Dear Sungyeol,

I will reply your letter. I will answer your question.

No, Sungyeol. You are not wasting your time to love me, I just have to thank you for wanting to continue to love me. Thank you for always love me eventhough I did some things bad to you . Im really sorry for that.
Actually it’s me who wasted my time not to notice you.
It’s me who wasted my time to make you waiting for my love
I’m the one who wasted my time, I’m not even realize that I fell in love with you. I love you

And I really want to fix everything. I want you to know my true feeling, I want you to know how much I love you. And I’m really happy to have a great wife like you and I really just too stupid to realize it sooner. I close my eyes and my heart at the time. My heart and my eyes totally numb because that stupid love. And the fact I really stupid. Too stupid to know that I was just tricked with the thing called a love. I don’t even know love at that time or I’m just too naive. I’m just totally stupid to spent so many time and chance to learn to love you, I’m just a fool and I’m really sorry for it

Sungyeol-ah, I’m sorry for hurting you. Not only physically but I’m hurting your feeling too much. I’m sorry. You know I’m just blind and stupid person right? But I really want to thanks to you because you never leave me alone and stop loving me. After the thing I did to you I guess you will leave me but no, you always be there waiting and loving me. You not even hate me because you love me too much. you love me more than you hate me. I really grateful for that.. but in other place in my heart I feel ashmed not only because of you but because of myself too. You really love me so much but I treat you really bad. I was not even say thank you to everything you do for me. But you,you always say thanks to me with everyting I did to you and I really ashmed when I hear you reason that time you said “thank you, even i’m not the one you chose, at least you care about me, I mean you know?  Everytime you come back home, even when you just stay at home for a little time, I’m happy because you know I will be home waiting for you. Knowing you come home, it means I don’t need to be alone.Talk to me even with your own way.Harsh way. But  I’m happy because you still want to talk to me, I really thank you for every small thing you do to me, and you still want to do your ‘duty’ as husband”. I remember that time I told you that you just over reacted of it, but even at that worst time you still be there by my side. You give a hope that you will live longer than this

So..
Sungyeol-ah,you should stay keep alive
Because i need you to forgive me.
Because I have to explain everything to you properly
Because i need you for my life. I need you to teach life with me and teach me what is love really mean. How is loyality work. I need you to be my side. I need you so we can raise our handsome son together. it’s really hard to think I need to raise him alone without you. I didn’t mean I don’t want to raise him but I can’t raise him as horrible father and hurt him in his life.  And I don’t want Sooyeol to grow up without his mother’s love.

You should stay keep alive so we can see Sooyeol grow up together. Because Sooyeol needs you.He needs us

Last but not least,
Because i love you. You should stay keep alive so I can tell you I Love You properly and explain a lot that I love you with all my heart.
Let me fix your broken heart. Not time to heal your wound, but me who will heal your wound. 

So, promise me you have to fight for your life for me..
promise me you have to stay alive so i can fix all my mistake
so you can read this letter
so we can start our love again

With all my heart,

Kim Myung Soo

***

Didn’t know what happen to Myungsoo or more spesific with Myungsoo’s feeling. He even canceled his meeting and chose to come to hospital. He half run to the hospital. He didn’t know what’s going on in his mind and his feeling. Is it good or bad feeling?  the thing he really wanted to know is sungyeol. How is sungyeol ?

When he reach Sungyeol’s room, he saw some of the nurse looked confussed and the other cleaned Sungyeol’s bed.  Wait, sungyeol’s bed? Where’s Sungyeol then ?

“What’s going on here?” he asked also confussed with the situation. His heart beating so fast. His feeling really  bad. He didn’t want something bad happen to Sungyeol. He didn’t want Sungyeol leave him and Sooyeol. No.no. no. no it couldn’t be.

“ Myungsoo-ssi, sorry, we can’t—“

“No no, don’t say anything that actually in my mind. no you must be kidding me. what happen? where is my wife? where is Sungyeol? ” Myungsoo keep talking. He was not even give the nurse chance to talk.

“ Myungsoo-ssi, im sorry but I really— “

“ Don’t tell a , Doctor Shim! I know your prediction is wrong and I really sure about that,” Myungsoo checked on Sungyeol’s bed to find the letter. Making sure that the letter was there.Not lose or being thrown by someone.But he didn’t find it. The letter was gone.

“ Where is the letter?  don’t tell me you throw it away! where is my letter? where is my wife?” Myungsoo shouted at every body in that room while still find his letter. No one dare to say anything but one voice broke the silent.

“They didn’t throw the letter. I have it with me. I fulfill my promise to you to read the letter”

***

[myungsoo POV]

I thought I lost him. Not just him but also the letter. But now the person I love standing under the door frame with beautiful smile on his beautiful face. And that voice, the beautiful voice I really miss. His voice still still beautiful like the most beautiful music for my ears.

“You right, Myungsoo-ssi. My prediction is wrong. Your wife wake up with really great health. And actually we really want to tell you that we can’t find him when he wake up. But I can uderstand your action before. Because you really love your wife and afraid to lost him right?  Well, congratulation. He didn’t leave you. your wife is back. Now we will give you some time together. we know you need it. But I really want to say congratulation” the doctor who named Shim Changmin left the room after he told me what actually happened. I really embarrassed but in other hand I’m really happy because finally sungyeol wake up from his long sleep he comeback to me. I hope so. I stil didn’t know if he forgive me or not. At this moment I don’t really care about it I’m just happy to see him

“Sungyeol-ah” I called his name, I’m still not sure he is really standing there infront of me or it’s just dream or worst it’s just my delusion.

“Myungsoo, how long you will standing over there? don’t you miss me? Don’t you want to hug me or you just want to say my name over again?” he asked with shy smile on his face. his face was blushing and it made him more look like angel, and I couldn’t belive he just wake up from him long sleep

I smiled at him and I rushed my legs toward him then lock him with my hug. I closed my eyes trying to feel our heart beat. His body is really warm and I was trying to share that warmth. The mint scent still lingering from his body. Even he slept for a long time those scent still on him.

“Sungyeol-ah thank you” he just answered me with chuckle

“thanks to you too,Myungsoo-nim. for heal my heart and take care of our Sooyeol. Thanks a lot, Myungsoo”

I really can’t belive it, what kind of heart God gave him. Say thanks to me when I’m not doing anything for him .

“don’t say it Sungyeol. I love you and as Sooyeol’s father,  I should take care of my son right ? I really love him and I really love you too. Both of you are the most precious persons in my life. don’t make me worried again, I’m sorry for –“

“sshh... You already said it to me so many times. So don’t need to say it again.  You didn’t have anything to be sorry. You just not realised it that time. You just too naïve. So it’s okay I already hear all your explanation. I read your letter, so now nothing to be sorry. And you know,the past is the past. Now let’s have a new life. let’s learn from our past and become a better person, become a small and wonderful family. Be great and proud parrent for Sooyeol and for all of us”

He is really an angel. My wife is really an angel. Oh God I really want to thank you for give me a great wife and handsome son for me. I promise I will take care of them I won’t hurt them anymore.

Sungyeol relaxing on his bed and I sitting beside the bed while prepared some apples for him,when Sunggyu, Woohyun, Sunghyun and on his hand our baby Sooyeol laughing. I told them that Sungyeol already wake up this morning. So now they here to see Sungyeol.

“Look who is miss his mommy and daddy?” said Woohyun hyung while looking at Sooyeol little tossing around on sunggyu’s hold. While Sunghyun chattering ,calling Sooyeol name with his baby talking, “thooyeollie,thoo-yah euheuheuheu nyanyanya thoo-ya”

”Mma,ppa..”  

I could hear Sooyeol uttered the word. He was trying to call me his appa and sungyeol his eomma. our Sooyeol is really smart.

“Look Sooyeol really smart, isn’t he? My little prince you are really smart”, said Sungyeol. And I just nodded my head agree with him. Sunggyu hyung gave Sooyeol to Sungyeol. And Sooyeol looked really happy on his mother hand. Sooyeol’s little hand touched his mother’s face. God I really love them. Thanks for give me second chance to be with them .

I kissed Sungyeol forehead  and said, “I love you yeoli”.  Then I kissed Sooyeol forehead too. “Appa really love you too Soo-yah” he chuckled and trying to touch my face with his small fingers .

“I love you too myungie. Both of you are the reason why I decided to stay alive. “

~~~~~^^~~~~~


Hello there~
Finally final chapter is out !! Sorry, it takes a long time to update.You know how much terrible university's life. And it just have been 2 weeks and we have a lot of projects !! 
And im really grateful, the volcano ashes not really give big impact but im sorry for the victim. Especially the children. Im going to go the location to do observation. /my works/ 

Anyway, this is the final chapter. And for my sorry, im going to give you bonus chapter on Sooyeol's point of view. I wish i will update it as soon as possible. Im in half of my writing. Because i also have a deadline for writing competition. wish me luck~

Special thank you for Creamlight unnie who helped me to finish this story . ^^
And also thanks to 'someone' who inspired me to write this.Happy belated birthday and 143 ^^
And thanks a lot for you all who subscribe,upvoted, and commenting. I really love you~
And reader somewhere out there, eventhough you didnt do subscribe, upvote and comment i really thank you ^^

Also, sorry for grammatical error and typo. English is not my mother language.

P/s : Don't call me authornim. Im 94 liner. You can call me by my name or else. hehehehehe

I love you guys!! oh last but not least!! I have a new couple to ship!! VKook!! Taekook!!  Who love BTS here ???

Pooh~

~~~~ ^^ ~~~~~

Spoiler for bonus chapter ::>>

" My Name is Kim Sooyeol. Im 5 years old. My Appa's name is Kim Myungsoo and My Umma's name is Lee Sungyeol. Soo-yah really love Umma and Appa. But Aunty Hyun said Soo-yah have to love Umma more than Soo love Appa. Because Umma gave his life for giving birth Sooyeol. But Uncle Gyu said Soo-ya have to love Appa more, too. Because without Appa, there is no Sooyeol in this world. "