[un-betaed; I'll correct all of grammar mistakes later, I swear]

An incident creates a bond between the one who inflicts pain and the one who receives it.

Mark is going to be honest: he did not know anything about it. But it obviously exists, because if it didn't, then he wouldn't know how to explain Junior's sudden presence in the table that was once occupied only by Jaebum and Mark. He doesn't know if he should be excited about the temporarily addition of a new member.

"I was resting in the backyard." Junior replies when Mark asks him why he's the only one of their class who's out, ain't the others- - and by others, he means Jackson, but let's not say this outloud - -getting food?

(And Mark absolutely doesn't internally slap himself. It is not like his big mouth is trying to spit out his huge secret. Nah.

He has to do something about it. Yes, I must do something about this- -stupid mouth).

Junior purses his lips. "Let's see, Jongin's finishing his algebra test. Jackson his English test. Youngjae has to run errands for our little fallen in sickness Daniel so he probably won't be around today." He nods at his own statements. "So that leaves- - one, two, three," he counts, pointing at Jaebum, Mark and at himself, "plus Jongin and Jackson today." A pause. "You do not mind the other two, right? They're not sweethearts like me, but hey, Mark you've met them. You can tell that they are not - -err, not that bad at least, yes?"

Mark has come to the conclusion that having Junior at lunch is a great event after all.

-

"Do you Flappy Bird?" 

Jaebum gives Junior a funny look. "I'm pretty sure that your sentence lacks of something. Like the verb." He points out before taking a bite of his sandwich. "Try saying, do you play Flappy Bird, and maybe I will answer your question."

Mark watches Junior pout a little. For a moment he thinks that the guy is not going to give in- -actually, Mark wishes that he would resist. Serves Jaebum right for always pretending people to do what he wants. But Junior's eyebrows furrow and then he leans to Jaebum's side, crossing his arms over the table and resting his chin on them.

"Do you play Flappy Bird, Jaebum hyung?"

Jaebum cruelly only hums in agreement.

Junior scratches his chin. He stares at Mark's best friend who reassumes eating and then drinking and then he's finishing his ham and cheese roll. "Hyung." Junior whines.

That has to be the fourth time in ten minutes that he's emitted that kind of sound. Even though seeing his best friend being dejected would be much cooler, Mark finds himself enjoying the show.

"You are supposed to ask me if I play it too."

Jaebum takes it calmly. Only when he's done having lunch, he turns to the other that is kind of starting to sulk at him. He sighs (but Mark has the feeling that Jaebum is having fun torturing the poor guy as much as he does. 'Cause he's a sadist . And right now, after recalling the closeness- - it's closeness between friends, okay - -between Jackson and Junior, Mark finds it so hard to stop plastering a smile on his face. A very good sadistic friend). "So, do you play Flappy bird too, Junior-sshi?"

Junior is completely taken aback. "It is Junior without the sshi part, hyung." He says, scrunching his hands up onto fists against their table and then re-opening them. The movement is accompanied by another whine. "Hyung."

Has Mark already said that he loves Jaebum for teasing the guy? Because he does. Oh so much.

"So," Jaebum is practically grinning ear-to-ear, "do you play Flappy Bird, Junior-sshi?" He repeats the suffix as if the other's said nothing about it. Junior narrows at him. "Do you want to finish that joke or can we talk about something else?"

"Continue!" Junior exclaims, gaining some looks on him from the other students, but the guy doesn't care about it at all since he's all over Jaebum. "I want to continue with the joke, please."

This has been going on since Mark has finished introducing the two to each other.

Junior's made these hilarious little comments about the cafeteria food and the school in general and other funny jokes to which Mark laughed to because they're good. Only Mark's laughed, though. Jaebum has remained impassive to all of them and Mark doesn't really know Junior that much and the past six minutes are a short period, but it takes that little for Mark to understand that Junior takes pride in making others have fun because of him. 

And Jaebum is the exception. Mark thinks that Junior is using all of his greatest jokes in vain. 

His best friend glances at Junior before his eyes dart back to Mark and then he raises his eyebrows suggestively. Mark gives him a toothless smile.

Jaebum leans back into his chair, posture superior as he pretends to be playing with his fork. "Then go ahead. I'm listening."

"Okay, okay, okay." Junior says. "Give me a minute to concentrate, though." He starts popping his fingers and stretching his neck as if getting ready for a battle and if he's exaggerating, neither Mark or Jaebum tells him. They expectantly wait for him to begin.

But then a minute passes. A second minute goes and before other sixty seconds go to waste, Jaebum pokes Junior on the elbow. "You still the- -?"

Junior avoids the finger pressing on him by moving to one of the vacant chairs.

Mark scowls. Those are supposed to be for Jongin and Jackson. He doesn't vocalise it, though, because as unbelievable as it may sound, he's actually starting to feel pity for Junior. He's taking this too seriously.

"So, do I play Flappy Bird too?"

God. Mark's lips are twitching upwards because the guy is fiddling awkwardly with his fingers and his knee is pistoning up and down. He looks like he's having a job meeting and his shining career depends on how it will end. 

"No, I don't, because I already have a bird to play with!"

It comes out like a yell. Like an awkward yell- -actually, it sounds like Junior blurted it out aloud without him really wanting to say it, but he did just because.

Soon Junior stills because Jaebum's judging you so hard look number 7 has taken on a life of its own after the words exited Junior's mouth. He hangs his head. (Mark is the only one chuckling, but this time it is entirely because of his friend).

"Oh, mother of ." He sighs in defeat. "You gave me so much pressure that I forgot how to pour my Jinyoung charm on the joke." The guy accuses, giving Jaebum a sidelong stare.

After his eyes have bored a hole inside Junior's soul, Jaebum finally archs a brow. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Junior-sshi."

"Stop with the sshi!" Junior throws his hands in the air. A second later, he jumps on his previous seat, tugging on Jaebum's arm like a petulant child. "Let me try for the last time. I promise that if you do not interrupt me and if you spare me the -face, I'll make you laugh so hard you'll be holding your tummy and ask for assistance because you won't be able to walk from how much you'll love it."

Jaebum looks at him skeptically. 

"C'mon, hyung, you won't regret it. You will ask me for more. I can assure you that I'm really good at it. You ask anyone. I am. Just let me prove it to- -"

"Jinyoung, stop. Dude."

Mark's heart flutters in his chest.

S to the H to the I to the T.

They all look up at the same time. 

"Oh, the King is here." Someone says, sarcasm dripping from the short sentence. It is probably Jaebum- -it is Lim Jaebum. Since Junior looks like he adores his Jackson hyung and Mark just cannot be the one who doesn't like Jackson (and we don't need to explain why he can't be that), it can't be anyone else but him.

Mark would tell his friend to behave, but his friend knows how to handle situations that he doesn't find pleasant. So he trusts Jaebum in this. A little at least. 

Jackson is wearing a mischievous grin and Mark dies a bit inside. He's flushing slightly, there is a beautiful light shade of red that colors his cheeks and he's sweating. In fact he has his uniform all ed (as usual, but nobody is complaining) and Mark trails the grey wife-beater's material stretching on Jackson's chest and hugging his waist. He's adjusting his black cap on his head.

"Was that some sort of innuendo, Park Jinyoung?" He drawls, his eyes jumping from the short haired guy to Mark's best friend. 

"With this person?" Junior goes bug-eyed, though his fingers clinging on Jaebum don't losen their grip. "I don't really think so. How can I even think about pounding someone who doesn't understand the simplest ?"

"Which means that he absolutely hates all the bull that you call jokes." Jackson translates. He pats Junior on the head, earning a huff in return. (Mark doesn't sigh dreamily. He doesn't. He seriously doesn't. Really. He's close to, but he doesn't because he has some dignity left). "Ten points to you, dude." He offers Jaebum his hand to shake and wait.

What the is happening?

First, Mark starts curling his toes inside his shoes because he did not have any handshaking from his crush. Two, someone who's not Mark should tell Jackson that it is a waste doing that sort of civilized human gesture to Mark's friend because the idiot hates his guts. Kind of. Well, Lim Jaebum isn't a fan of Jackson. As a matter of fact, his best friend is staring at the offered hand a little too long and a little too hard as if the mere thought of touching it would burn him whole. Three, when Jackson smiles his eyes turn into crescent moons and his pearly teeth bite his lower lip after his tongue has it a little and I'm getting all poetic and moron- and Mark, stop this.

"You're not going to eat anything?"

"Nah, you know how this school works. Bet they are serving the left overs of last week at this hour."

"You can always ask someone to give you a burger. They won't refuse."

"Don't want to...hey, so we're going to sit down with this new friend of yours."

"He's not a friend."

"I don't see you as a friend either, Junior-sshi."

What does it take to be accepted or to at least be looked at by Jackson like that? Mark wonders as he watches Jaebum acting mature in the end and Jackson and Junior conversating about their mutual friends. Be a lost puppy like Junior? Be a sadist like his best friend Jaebum? A 24/7 looking cool and charming boy like Jongin? He would really like to receive a good answer.

He will never get tired of saying this because it is one of the truest things in the world- -like you can call a random person in the street and ask him and he will tell you Mark's name or, you can search for it in a dictionary and under the meaning of the term you'll find Mark's name used as a synonym of the word.

Mark Tuan is Unlucky. 

So helplessly unlucky that when Jongin arrives, Mark's the first one to be greeted by him and just then, Jackson realises that there are not only three people at the table.

"I really did not see you." Do you also want to puke on my heart now that it's all cracked, sir?

Jackson nods at his direction and Mark interprets it as okay, you're here too, who ing cares and he cannot be more right than that because not only his crush pushes Jongin in the seat next to Mark when the guy's about to settle himself in the chair next to Junior's, but he leaves him out of his conversations for the entire lunch. Jaebum tries to include him and so does Jongin (Junior spends his time trying to make Jaebum laugh only to fail miserably), but each ing time, Jackson does not talk to him- -he just stays there looking elsewhere or he's whispering things in Junior's ear.

"Uh, bye." It's Jackson disinterested dismissal when they have to part to go to their separate classes.

Mark will never cry for unrequited crush: he'd rather wait to grow s and lose his manhood, but he can't deny that he feels like doing it. 

-

If he has to think about it- -like locks himself in the room and sits down on the mattress of his bed and then uses at least a full hour to think about it, Mark will conclude that chasing the heart of the person that he likes and confessing are not really his areas of expertise.

They have never been.

His first relationship- -well, he was eight back then so it wasn't really a serious relationship. It was a kiddy love.

Anyway, Alice's a childhood friend.

They went to elementary together in California (Mark hasn't told this to you guys, right? Oh, okay. It's just a small detail of his life: he's a Cali boy. Lived there until I was eleven. Then I flew in Korea. Cool place. He sometimes comes back during summer).

He remembers her giving him this container full of cookies and he started to eat them one by one only to stop when she shrieked at him and hit him on the back. She demanded him to spit out the last cookie because apparently there was written do you want to be my boyfriend on it. In the end, he did not have to regurgitate anything.

They were the cutest couple of their school for five days: Mark was accused of not being loving and he absolutely was not the Prince Charming Alice thought he was. She hadn't known me at all if that was her impression of me.

Then, there was Chanhee, the one who made Mark realise that he might be biual after all and guess what? Mark's bi and his first boyfriend was Chanhee himself.

It was an odd relationship since the both of them wanted to top and neither was willing to give in. Chanhee broke up with him after a month of trying to persuade Mark of at least acting a little bit cuter and Mark instantly refused each time because like hell he was going to do that.

They remained friends, though.

Well, until the day Chanhee finally met this Byunghun boy and he started losing his independency. They're always together now. Do this together, do that together. The type of pair of lovers who looks too nauseatingly lovey-dovey. 

There were hook-ups after that.

Mark can give a series of names- -Jaebum calls Jackson an player, but they themselves haven't been saints. Mark has given his amount of broken hearts and as far as he can recall, Jaebum too.

He's my friend, that's why he's like that with Jackson.

He believes in a lot of things.

For example, it is not a secret that he believes in misfortune, bad luck and he has never denied that the word destiny has always had a big space in his mind. He has spent some time thinking about it because his destiny is linked to his bad luck and guys, it .

Before Jackson Wang, Mark did not have to problematise about his wooing (do people still use this word?) techniques because as long as he kept smiling at his crushes, they came to him like bees on honey and they were the ones to do all the work.

Mark's one and only job had been playing the smiling perfect statue and waiting for the other to admire him and to take that little step towards him that will eventually push them to fall in Mark's arms. And the ones doing the pushing were them themselves.

He was just there with his arms stretched out waiting for his crush to fall in them.

Back to talking about Jackson, Mark's incapacity to win him and his beliefs, he once thought that it's his karma that has sent him the Cute Skateboarder. To make him pay for all of the people that he hurt in those previous relantionships and especially for the non-official ones.

However, after a whole night of thinking, he came to the conclusion that it couldn't be the case.

He read that the concept has nothing to do with punishments or awards. Karma is about people's lives and how they treat others.

Mark never lies about it: he's somewhat declined people after spending an afternoon or two with them and maybe he's given them a little too much hope, but it's not like he doesn't feel anything after each refusal. He refuses them because he sees no future with them.

If it's about causes and effects of his actions, Mark is 100% sure that Jackson Wang has not been sent because Mark has misbehaved (I'm a good person, excuse me).

So it is not about karma.

It is something far less complicated like,

Jackson Wang doesn't like Mark Tuan. 

And Mark has thought about that countless times in these two years, but it has never weighed this much even after the first big rejection because I really didn't see you (and who is he) puts his hopes on the edge.

What do you do when the person you like seems to really not like you?

Like Mark can try as much as he wants but there won't be any improvement.

-

"I am being extremely helpful. You are just choosing not to listen to me like you always do." Jaebum says, unperturbed by Mark's complain. He looks to the door and upon receiving a waggling finger from their classmate, indicating that their teacher is still nowhere to be seen, he taps his forefinger on Mark's head. "You're releasing depressing vibes, you know."

"Don't touch me."

Jaebum furrows his brow. "So we've come to the point that I cannot even touch you, huh?"

"I don't wanna hear anything. Let me."

"Fine. But for the record, I did not ask to join them in their senseless convos." Jaebum specifies for the ninth time and for the same amount of times Mark would really like to tell him that he ing knows, except that he doesn't. "And I stayed even though I still see that Wang as an arrogant- because of you."

"Ssh."

" you too." Jaebum snarls. "Do what you want."

"I'm sorry. It's not you. It's not your fault." Mark says automatically. He is trying so hard to keep a neutral expression, but as time passes by and Jaebum keeps feeding him the old crap and he actually starts agreeing to a part of it, it slowly starts to slip off of his face. "It's just that- -it. Ugh...does that really make a person an apparent ?" He grumbles.

"What was that?" His best friend's entire expression screams disbelief.

Mark ruffles his hair. He opens the window and he sees Jaebum not welcoming the refreshing wind that blows straight on his face. "Forget it. I can't call him that just 'cause he dislikes me, can I."

"You should call him because he treated you like that. It was so evident that he did not want you there." Jaebum counters easily. "Are you really sure that he doesn't remember you? The park? Because try to think about it for a second, you haven't exactly done anything to make him hate you, but he does."

Mark disapproves the choice of words because he doesn't think that it's hatred. Jackson's dislike for him isn't that deep- -not that extreme.

Isn't it? Damn Jaebum for confusing him.

"Uh, you think that...he hates me...?" He murmurs quietly, swallowing a little lump in his throat.

Jaebum gives him a look. "Mark." He glares halfheartedly at the sky before his gaze flies back on Mark. His eyes soften. His face breaks into a warm smile.

"The are you sweating blood for?"

His voice is soft too and Mark knows that they are going to have that kind of talk which they will pretend they did not have once it's ended because they do cope well insults and retorts, but feelings and sensibilty are just not their style. "The high-schooler in first year who gave you chocolates last week, he has a nice . Don't you think?"

Mark shakes his head, finding himself easily falling for the gentle tone of voice. "Nah." And then, with a eating grin, "haven't you seen Jackson's?"

", no." Jaebum's expression twists as if he's going to vomit. "I deduct from that," he says, the smartass, encouraging Mark to finish the sentence, "that even after that scene back at the canteen, you still think that the sun shines out of his ." He finishes all by himself because the other's not talking.

Mark almost laughs. "Juno, huh?"

"After all this time, Tuan?"

Mark is laughing. " that, always."

Jaebum half-smirks. "I still don't ing see what's 'bout Wang that you like-  -is it the cap? Anyway, if you're really that serious, I'm going to tell you this only one time: stop just ing -eyeing the guy, balls out, do something. Be a little more aggressive. If he doesn't like you, make him."

Mark blinks. That.Woah. "...well, gee. I'll never wish to be liked by you." He says, and then his classmates warn them that Mrs Lee is coming and to everybody to go to their respective desks.

"Thanks, Jaebum." He puts a hand on his best friend's nape and squeezes a little.

-

Rule one: when I say delete, you do it.

It takes a long time to accomplish important matters.

Anthony Stark struggled a lot to be recognized and to see himself less than a problem and more like a hero- -Nichkhun had to court Victoria for months before she accepted to date him- -Rome was not built in a day, and Mark has learnt to be patient and he is learning to keep trying because he's starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and he can hear the sound of triumph. (Hopefully it will turn to be crescent moons and the sound will have a smooth, quite conceited accent when it starts talking in Korean).

It might take a while, but he's learnt that the best things in life need a ing lot of effort.

And oh, . I compared Jackson to Rome.

Okay.

Delete.

-

Tuesday starts with a new Mark Tuan. 

He slept only three hours because he had to prepare his speech for the Science project and it took him three hours longer than expected: he couldn't focus solely on the task because his mind wandered in the Jackson Wang folder and Jaebum's simple words of encouragement were set on replay.

But even after a very short rest, he feels like he can rule the world.

His best friend has somewhat renewed his confidence. 

Mark has never wooed (he's going to change verb one of these days, really) anyone before- -Jackson Wang is his first true crush and he's not going to lose him without giving all himself.

Jaebum did not say anything false the day before: Mark has always cowed eyes from afar (you'll never hear about him admitting this again. Like never ever again) and it is the moment to put a stop to it.

He is the one who needs to approach Jackson this time. He cannot wait any longer; he's been doing nothing for two years and two months and one week (wanna know the date when he met Jackson for the first time? Secret) and a couple of hours and minutes and seconds, and now it's time for action.

No more teenage angst.

If he doesn't like you, make him.

He will.

He's been stubbornly declaring his feelings for the guy to his friend and he's been trying to pursue Jackson for two ing years (without him knowing, fine) and now that he has a crappy (but still) excuse to talk to Jackson since the day Junior hit him with his Lady, why would he give up?

If he doesn't like you, make him.

The first thing he does when first period ends (second, if he doesn't count high-fiving Jaebum after they got an A+.  yeah) is trying to arrive first at the canteen (first everywhere. Well, bear with it) because girls usually buy all the fruit juices available.

Mission done, the second prayer is for Junior to sit with them again, but if his invocation gets ignored up there, he has prepared also something to lure Junior in the trap. 

"The kid will give me a ing headache." Jaebum grunts.

Mark notes as he's waiting for the trio that people are throwing them glances and muttering about them. He decides immediately to be indifferent to it: he has a scheme, a plan, and today he is not going to miss it. Plus, he's probably imagining things because he's done nothing remarkable to be the hot topic. Neither did Jaebum (or he'd have told me).

He can't disregard the attention a dark brunette gives him, though. If a random girl plants herself in front of you all of a sudden and stares at you for an interminable moment, you wouldn't either.

"Yes?"

The brunette's mouth forms a little 'o'.

Then, she's being pushed away by another girl, shorter, who Mark assumes is her friend.

As they walk past him, he catches some words they're exchanging. New friends of Jackson, cannot and something about writing and Mark is smart enough to recreate a likely puzzle: they saw Jaebum and him with the popular students (right. The big popularity of Jackson&Co. Of course it would have not gone unnoticed by anyone that they shared the table with them yesterday. So it's possible that he's part of the hot topic after all) and mostly, they are Mark's competitors.

Or at least one of them- - the brunette - - is because she wants some 'help'. That she will not receive. Mark and the possessive nature that he hadn't known he had before the crushing.

"We look like retards," Jaebum says in annoyance. "Why the hell are we waiting near the entrance? Unless you're going to assault him once you catch the sight of him, we should take seats."

"No." Mark says firmly. "There's a high percentage that Junior visiting us won't be something happening twice- -I'm afraid it's a once in a lifetime thing and, I- -" He drops his gaze on the bottle in his hand. He holds it up. "- -my first step is, uh, this."

"Don't know exactly what you're gonna do, but I can always guess that it's better than nothing." His best friend mocks him.

And then Mark hushes him.

The next following minutes are excruciating.

He runs a hand through his hair a couple of times- -six maybe. He has never been this anxious, not even when he lied to his parents, saying that Laura was not drunk even though they could hear her singing La isla bonita in the kitchen at 2 am and she stank of Vodka when their mother talked to her- -Mark did not even know why he tried pulling her out of trouble when it was obvious that she was going to be grounded for an indefinite period.

"Stop zoning out. Eyes at twelve o'clock, Mark. Assface and crew are doing the swag walk towards us." 

Mark does not dignify that with an answer.

They all seem to be absorbed in listening to Jongin who's leading the group along with Jackson. The two guys are peeking behind their shoulders so that Junior can hear too. Oh. He can see an arm around Junior's shoulder and then the face of a student sporting a black crewcut everytime Jongin inclines his own head to the left.

Youngjae? Mark's not sure.

And I'm not interested.

His eyes sweep around the area and , okay, maybe Jaebum was giving a nice advice earlier. They do look like ing morons by standing at the door and now that almost all the students have ordered their lunch, it might be worse.

"Act like you've just arrived." He says urgently, rubbing a hand on his face and pretending to be looking for a free place. But it looks like he won't be faking it for long because Jaebum was right about the tables too. They all seem to be taken.

"How am I supposed to act like I've just arrived?" Jaebum asks.

"I don't know, God. You think about it."

"Then how can I- -"

"Jaebum, please."

"Jesus Christ. You owe me for this."

They do not act natural at all.

The four are ten steps from them and Mark is a bundle of nerves. The confidence is still there. The thought that he has to accomplish this thing remains intact. It is just that it is starting to get hot and Mark's getting sweaty and he needs to pull the collar of his shirt and blows his face some air.

"Nervous?"

"What do you think?"

"I think neon pink ears really suit you."

Jerk. 

He doesn't know why, but it is always Jongin the one who sees him first. He gives him a small wave and Mark cracks a forced smile in return. Jongin halts in front of Mark with a short distance between them and Mark notices for the first time that the guy is quite taller than him. From his peripheral vision, he can see that the other three are behind, talking to each other about- -uh, basketball?

"What's up?" Jongin says conversationally, bringing Mark's look to his face. Then for an unknown reason he steps forward. He frowns. "Are you sick?"

Worse. He tries to smile more genuinely this time. "Tough day."

"Oh, okay, me too." Jongin says, contorting his face in pain. "I'll probably need a tutor if I want to pass Math. I swear to God, I do not fool around the lessons that much and I've started taking notes, but nada. ing Math will be the death of me." 

"I'm sorry." Mark says apologetically. He likes the fact that at least one member of the gang treats him like a friend and does share personal business with him. Junior is kind of friendly too in his hyung, give me love, attention and care and I'm here way.

Speaking of the guy. Junior jumps from the back to the front, now standing before a perplexed Jaebum. "I was about to look for you!" He bursts out, extending his arms and Mark swears he will remember Jaebum's look saying I want to bang my head on a counter for the rest of his life. 

His best friend is so going to demand a lot from him- -hell, Jaebum had no intention of spending another break with the overly active Junior. Mark just happened to convince him by parroting the little speech he gave to Mark and telling him that this is the moment and if he really meant all those balls out crap, he ought to make Mark be able to make his move.

"Hey, Mark," Jongin calls him. He's giving him an embarassed face. "Do you know a- -"

But Mark gets momentarily deaf thus he does not hear Jongin because Jackson and maybe-Youngjae are moving and this cannot be. The nervousness and anxiety start to gather in his chest and coil. Before he knows it, he's already walked away, leaving Jongin there.

He doesn't know if all of this determination that he's mustered up in 30 hours is good or if it is going to get him a limb cut off of his body, but his hand lands on Jackson's arm and yeah, he's going to learn living with a single arm because Jackson looks mad after being pushed around.

And yeah, yeah, he used too much strenght in the movement and just maybe, he did not simply land his hand, but he yanked the guy in his direction- -his nostrils are filled with a sweet scent that reminds him of baked pies and Jackson up close, even with the blackness in his mad eyes, is an oversized puppy. Not Junior puppy-face like, Jackson's a puppy: cute, too cute, you just want to pet him and keep him for yourself.

"What do you want?"

That's not puppy-like, though.

Back to Earth, Mark watches Jackson eye the offending hand with a glare.

"Uh, sorry," he lets it drop, his face heating up.

Jackson pins him in place with a look. "It's fine. I guess." Then, "do you want anything from me or not?"

He deserves the rudeness. Mark can't help asking, "did it hurt?"

Jackson says nothing, but he shifts from ferocity to look at this weirdo mode.

"I just really did not mean to." He insists and change the topic, this isn't working. Abort! Abort! Jackson's clearly not hurt. What can I- -His fingers unconsciously start scratching on the plastic of the bottle. Bottle? Oh, yes. The bottle! "Here."

Jackson seems taken aback. He fixes his gaze on the object Mark's offering him before very slowly raising his own hand to accept it.

His orbs widen a little. "It's apple juice." He says in awe, smiling a little as he rolls the plastic container to examine it. It'd be all so perfect if Jackson, still holding the same expression, would look up at Mark who can already feel himself falling a little more for the guy (even though the smile isn't directed at him, but semantics).

"Wait." Jackson's precious smile starts dissipating. No, what, rewind, why? "Is there a reason why you're giving me apple juice?"

"I," think. Brain, think. He gulps, "thought you could be thirsty." My God. He's an Olympic champion in lying. (Guys, don't laugh. You've done worse in your lives and if you did not, then be ing proud of yourself without judging others thank you very much). He resists the urge to groan.

"But how do you- -"

OkOhmyGod

", Jackson." The maybe-Youngjae guy laments, popping out from behind. "Why do you have to give the boy a hard time? You almost never get to drink your favorite juice or any juice at school because you're slow and now that a nice boy gives you what you want because you're thirsty," he shoots Mark a smile, "you interrogate him like he's a murderer." He sighs. "ing thank him and let's go."

"Don't order me." Jackson grumbles, loud enough for Mark to hear it. "Thank you." He says anyway. Can you be any more adorable?

He's already taking a sigh of relief when Jackson looks like he's not going to question him anymore. Actually, his crush is going away with his friend- -it's with stupor that Mark sees Jackson backwalk to reach his previous position. Not really. There is a safe space between them, unfortunately. "You...you're Mark, right?" 

Mark nods. So he knows my name.  

"Thanks for the juice, Mark."

Oh, okay, you can.

-

After completing the mission successfully, Mark feels like being able to touch the sky. Like if he tiptoed and raised his forefinger, he could feel the fluffiness of the clouds or the heat of the sun hitting his finger- -okay, he's going too far now.

He feels like celebrating that night and he's so happy that even when he notices that his collection of Linkin Park CDs is incomplete and he doesn't need to struggle to think about who could the criminal be because it's crystal clear that Laura has taken it after Mark hid her new Avon lipstick and then forgot the place where he put it, Mark tells himself that he's going to search for Underground the day after tomorrow. 

Not tomorrow because knowing himself he'll still feel the after-effects of the day before.

It's so ing-tastic that Mark is getting drawn into believing that maybe his guardian angel has finally woken up from his lethargy and he's going to protect him from now on, but Mark should never forget not to turn his hope to the maximum because he'll be deceived.

And that's exactly what happens.

However, this time the situation doesn't worsen because of adverse accidental events that Mark cannot control. So he has really no one to blame- - not the guardian angel that he might or not might have, not the good Fortune that seems to have never heard the name Mark Tuan ever and seems like it will never do.

If he has to scold someone, to get angry and to curse against someone, it's himself. 

Before you start arguing that he has declared all those wonderful that you read above, Mark would like to point out that old habits die hard.

He's always known that he's a person whose specialty is beating around the bushes.

Mark's still tasting how it feels like to be majoring in straightforwardness and well, even if the first bite has given him a delicious aftertaste, he's still a little hesitant to go further because straightforwardness looks like being plan and homogenous, but Mark thinks that it has a million of different tastes hidden somewhere.

And he doesn't feel like taking the next step immediately because okay, the first step which is always the hardest went well, but that doesn't mean that the second will. In his eyes, the second step is actually worse because it has to be better than the previous one, but nothing particularly spectacular because then, what will his third step be?

He ought to do something that will leave a bigger impact on Jackson, but it has to be a gesture that Mark will perfectly be able to surpass later.

Yeah, yeah, it is all so very confusing.

"I don't understand what you're ing saying." Jaebum says slowly, giving Mark an odd look. "What the is that thing about bites? And that second and third step- - -are you ing out of your mind? What the hell, Mark. Just ing give him another apple juice. End of your problems."

Jaebum understands nothing.

And Mark doesn't know why he confided his thoughts in his best friend.

After ten days of thinking about what his next move should be (okay, fine. Let's underline that ing number at least two times. He's been thinking for ten ing days), Mark is desperate and he's getting insane enough to try to ask for dating-advices from his older brother in the middle of a Lord of the Rings marathon, on a night when Nichkhun doesn't seem very sleepy.

His brain has to skip right all over near the references to Nichkhun, Victoria and , because he doesn't want to be scarred by the images that his wild imagination will give him. (Trying to depict your brother's bare when he's doing it with what seems like the girl who's going to be family too in the near future is terrifying). Then, Mark interrupts his babbling about traumatising stuff and explains him for the second time that all he wants is to be guided on what to do. He absolutely does not want to know about Nichkhun's -adventures.

"First things first, who's the lucky person?"

"Jackson Wang."

"Classmate?"

"No."

"Friend at school?"

"Huh, no." Mark admits to Aragorn who's telling Frodo that he needs to be careful. He can feel Nichkhun's confused gaze on his panicking body. Mark grabs a handful of chips and shoves half of them in his mouth.

"Does this Jackson know that you fancy him?"

Who the hell still uses the verb fancy? Wait. I'm in no position to talk. Wooing. Okay.

"Well, probably, but I hope not 'cause I was thinking of making a great confession, uh." His eyes are glued on the screen of the television. "And I. Well, I gave him a fruit juice not long time ago." (Guys, shut up. Don't contradict him. Ten ing days. Mark knows alright? It's just that Nichkhun is already oh so judging him and Mark would really like for him to cut it out).

"A fruit juice?"

"An apple juice." Mark corrects. "A friend of Jackson told me that Jackson likes it and I bought him one." When the hell did the dragon appear and why the hell is Gandalf dying? "Once."

"Did he like it?"

"Seemed so."

Silence. Then, Nichkhun clamps both his hands around Mark's shoulders and shakes him lightly. There's no trace of sleepiness on his face. His brother is grinning at him. "So there. Why don't you buy him another one?"

Now, Mark did not expect that answer coming from Nichkhun because the latter has always been incredibly helpful. He's disappointed at the beginning and after he explained Nichkhun about the straightforwardness and that step two's epicness needs to be more than step one's and less than step three's, he's beyond disappointed because he can forgive one fail from Nichkhun, but his brother saying that Mark is sputtering crap and to really just buy Jackson another apple juice is too much. That's probably why Victoria agreed to date him after a decade.

Jaebum and supposedly Nichkhun are stupid.

But after other three days (which means thirteen days of planning nothing. ), Mark comes to the conclusion that he's more stupid that those two.

-

"I knew that you would follow my suggestion in the end."

"Yes, yes." Mark replies in a condescending tone, just for Jaebum to stop talking.

There are no signs of the group yet.

Sighing a little, Mark looks down at his hands twisting in his lap, obviously in distress.

Hell. How can he be feeling like he'll lose his breath in a moment or another if he already did this before? Is it just him being inexperienced in the getting-the-person-you-like subject or is everyone like this?

Tell me it is the second, goddammit. He joints his hands together firmly.

He inhales.

Jaebum laughs scornfully next to him. "I'm trying to imagine you on your first date with him." He says. The intensity of Mark's gaze on him should make him at least fidget, but Jaebum only pokes his cheek with a fry. "JB," his best friend's voice reaches an octave as he tries to mimic a teenage girl's, "shoul I wear this red shirt or do you think Jackson will like green better? No, wait, I look better in red, do I? What do you think, JB?" 

"It's not funny." Mark hisses, his glare intensifying. Hot embarassment churns his stomach.

"Oooh, it is," the bastard says, "you know when you have that feeling that something will really happen? Buddy, I can totally see you panicking on your first date and dropping at my house an hour before the meeting to panic some more. I'm already warning you: I'll be ing laughing at you."

"I hope you choke on your fries."

Jaebum is still deriding him. "Green, Mark. Always go for green."

He should really look for another best friend- -this one is very flawed. Mark needs a new one. 

But after Jaebum has returned to eating, Mark becomes troubled all over again. Aw, not good. At some point, he has to put the bottle of juice on the table because his hands are starting to get sweaty. He stares at the entrance, and he tries to recall the movements of the last time only to get himself even more nervous because he can't repeat them. I can't yank his arm again. Jackson won't go it's fine, I guess on Mark again.

He spends the waiting whispering to himself placating words while the ready-to-be-replaced Jaebum has begun taunting him because apparently Mark's ruining his fries-time.

Everything will be alright.

And it would probably have, if it's not for the fact that when Jongin and Youngjae finally show up, Jackson is not there. But I saw him this morning.

"Motherin' ." Jaebum comments, looking in the same direction. "Jackass is not here. And to think that you had to beg that blondie to let you have the last juice. Tsk."

Mark channels the sudden frustration into his thinking of the places where Jackson may be. Damn it. Thirteen days, which means nearly two weeks, and if Mark adds the seven days before them when Jackson was always at the canteen, they're three weeks and yeah, it is possible that Jackson is having his all alone time right now.

On a scale of one to ten how ing lucky is Mark?

-6

Jongin and Youngjae who's talking on the phone approach their table at the exact moment when Mark is getting up. (They've done that other times. Well, Junior and Jongin. The two sometimes chit-chat with them- -Junior with Jaebum and Mark with Jongin. Only them, though. Neither Youngjae or Jackson join them. The latter has sent them his nod/greet a couple of times. What a pity huh).

"Oh, Mark." Jongin is offering him already a smile. "Where are you going?"

"Uh," Mark mutters. "Uhm. Somewhere." He says not smoothly because it's not his forte, but at this point Mark guesses that you are all already aware of that. "Jackson was at school this morning, right?" He blurts out and only God knows why (Mark doesn't either).

"Ah, him." Jongin raises an eyebrow. "Yes, but..." His gaze flicks on the floor then up at Mark again as if he's unsure whether to share the information or not. "Jinyoung said that they left the classroom together and then," he shrugs, "Jackson is doing something, we suppose. Jinyoung is- -"

"Doing something." Mark mumbles, shaking his head. "Thank you, Jongin, see you tomorrow," and then he's running in the hall.

Bleachers or lockers. The options are those two.

Mark has to slow down when the vice-president exits a classroom and gives him a warning look. He has to cut off the running- -he walks fast.

It occurs to him, as he turns to class 1-C which is just three classes far plus the stairs from the lockers that he is looking for Jackson because he's frustrated, but mostly because this is something he's been doing for two years- -he's followed Jackson during breaks for more than 730 days to be more precise.

He wonders if it is because he's been busy doing things related to Jackson in another way that it seems that it's been longer since the last time the guy isolated himself. 

Why does he do it anyway? Mark is descending the stairs. Does he have issues? Problems so big he needs to be alone? Isn't it better if he has someone to talk to? The last question pinches something inside him.

Can't it be me?

And those four words sound different now because Mark values them a whole lot. They're not the four words he used to start his imaginary sceneries with Jackson. . No, he is considering it. This is serious- -Mark's palpitations are faster.

Make it be you.

Mark finds Jackson at the lockers.

The sight of his crush slightly bobbing his head at the rhythm of the song he's listening to always succeeds to make Mark grin unconsciously. He knows thanks to one of Junior's slip of tongue when he's discussing with Jaebum about decent music that the guy actually likes listening to rap.

From the angle he's looking at, he can see that Jackson is sitting on his Lady.

After the skateboard, Mark finally stares at Jackson's face- -he's looking in deep thought as usual. His head is moving, but his eyes are distant. Can I make that kind of face disappear?

There's a brief moment when Jackson's eyes flicker to the wall where Mark is hiding himself.

He quickly takes different steps back until his heel hits the last of the stairs. His throat goes dry. Man, that was near and then, a second later he thinks, man, what the . He counts one to ten before taking slow walks. Mark has one hand on the wall as he catiously peeks at Jackson who's back in his world.

He's..tying his shoes. Oh.

It doesn't go unnoticed to Mark that there's something absolutely abnormal in his head today because a small voice is telling him what will happen if you pretend to casually walk in front of him, pretend to see him and then coolly sit down next to him like the guys do in those dramas that Laura loves? He his lips. Yes, that- -that will probably work, won't it- -I just have to act super cool. I can start with sitting down there and then I can tell him something like- -

- -uh. Like what.

Hi, Jackson, what are you doing here all alone? Wanna have company?

But what if he says no. Then it will be awkward and I do not like awkward.

Jackson, I'm gonna sit here... Nah, too arrogant.

What about- -

"Mark, what are you doing?"

His body petrifies upon hearing what he recognises immediately is Junior's voice. His chest compresses, tightening so painfully that this time he struggles for his next breath. He's not even able to complete a thought that each step of Junior jumping down the stairs echoes in his ears.

Mark rotates his whole body abruptly and,

"What's behind the wall that caught your interest? Someone's doing in the school, and you saw, huh, you dog?!"

Err, no. Mark knows that he can't provide an explanation if Junior starts bombarding him with questions about why he's secretly looking at Junior's Jackson hyung.

So he does the only choice that he can take: he runs-off.

-

The best ideas always come up in your mind a long time after you took your decision.

You think of the best retorts once the verbal fight is over. The solution of the problem appears in your head once the teacher has her hands on your test. And obviously, the thought that he could just make a stupid excuse like Jackson was doing something weird (which is not true, but it could have still saved Mark's a little) arrived that afternoon when he's walking home with Jaebum.

"Why would oyu run away? You're a ing idiot."

Mark moans. "Why don't you sell yourself on eBay and get away from my life?"

(He doesn't like when Jaebum says that he's an idiot because he ing knows that he is. So many things have happened that have made Mark realise that indeed he's idiotic.

The thought gets stronger when he can't help but still look at Jackson when he can at the canteen and when he shifts his look to the other guys of the Jackson gang, Junior is staring back at him.

And so is Jongin).

-

"You're late."

Mark scowls, looking down at the post-it in his hand.

"It says, 'meet us at 7.45 in my class on Friday, Mark Tuan. Junior&Jongin&(maybe)Youngjae(if he doesn't go to Daniel's house and stay there to sleep some more)'." He reads outloud.

"Really?" Junior deflates. He uncrosses his legs and then stands up. He catches the note from Mark who watches him narrow his eyes before looking surprised as he examines the written piece. "You're right." He says bitterly.

Mark sees Jongin, near the teaching post, face-palming. Then, he motions to Mark to close the door.

"We're not going to eat you." Mark likes how Jongin says it gently, sensing his hesitation and the stiffness. "We just want to talk."

But as he drags his foot inside and does what Jongin instructed him to do, and he limps a little forward, Junior immediately starts pacing circles around him.

"Is that necessary?" Mark asks, pointing his forefinger at the guy. 

"Yes."

"Absolutely not."

The two answer in unison.

Jongin sighs. "He'll get tired of it." He says to Mark, a little sorry.

"Oh, no, I do not really think so." Junior counters back. He fakes a laugh. "This person- -" Not Mark anymore. "- -was spying on Jackson. And we do not trust people who spy on our friends. Especially not on Jackson Wang because that type of people is the worst," he says, words clipped and tone hard.

Mark takes every word thrown at him without saying anything. He knew when he saw the yellow post-it that this was the argument that they were going to talk about. Plus, Junior's not said anything that he can argue. He hates hearing it and he hates how his shoulders slump because , yes, that's it. He sees a gleam of very explicable anger flash in Junior's eyes before the guy is on Mark's left, shuffling to get behind him to complete another circle.

"Jinyoung, I th- -" Jongin begins.

"Stop it!" Junior shouts at him. "The deal's that we both have the time to finish talking and the coin spoke: I talk first."

Jongin rolls his eyes, but recoils.

Mark does not take his eyes off Junior.

"I was looking for him too, you know?" Junior reassumes his speech, puffing a short furious sigh. "I've started looking for where the hell he's been going during his Jackson-depression time and you- -I remember seeing you all alone on the grass when we met for the first time. And I bet that Jackson was near where you were and you were staring. I do not ing know why the ing you're doing it- -do some of your friends have unfinished business with him? Or with Eunhyuk hyung? If it's hyung, that's sick just let it go- -but I swear to Jesus ing Christ that whatever your reason is, I'll you up. If you are like the last guy who followed him home to warn him because his stupid girlfriend broke up with him because she liked Jackson and lied that Jackson asked her out when Jackson did not even know who she was- -I'm going to ing make your life miserable- -don't- -you. You. You do not with me, Mark Tuan."

Impressive. But Eunhyuk? Who is that? In the middle of the speech, Junior's stopped walking to lock his eyes intensely on Mark. Now, he's trembling a little, and really, life's a full of surprises: Junior has gone protective and threatening on him full-force.

Mark is going to clear this up- -to say that he's meant no harm and he would never dare to hurt Jackson, but then everything hits him at once.

He's not like that guy. He's not, is he. No, I'm not- -I'm not. Then, did Jackson get hurt when it happened? When did it happen? He's never heard about it, though. Never. And Jackson is popular- -has always been popular since he came at this school. He's not questioning Junior's honesty because he doubts the other would invent something like that just to make Mark feel crashed.

"Who's the guy?" He asks feebly.

Junior's expression is stern. " That's not your ing business. You just leave Jackson alone."

"I j- -"

"No!"

"Jinyoung!" Jongin admonishes the guy.

They stare at each other.

It feels like a competition. One which Jongin, whether because of Jongin's suddenly menacing demeanor or Junior's own sense that he's accused Mark too much, wins because Junior just huffs in protest and then, without batting an eye, he opens the door and closes it as hard as he can behind him.

Once the two of them are left alone, Jongin closes his eyes, massaging his temples. "He'll come back to apologise tomorrow after I had told him the situation. Don't worry."

Mark nods absently, a little shocked.

He gathers his composure a couple of seconds later. . He needs to at least prove Jongin that he hasn't done the following for any bad purposes.

"I assure you that- -" But, wait. "You said situation." A pause. He breathes. "I- -", but no words follow that.

"Jinyoung, he," Jongin says, scratching his nose, "doesn't, uhm, take well when people hurt his friends. Uhm. You probably saw that already. That sometimes leads to him getting angry for no reason, really." He chuckles. How the hell can you laugh in a moment like this? "He made a scene- -same as the one before with you. No, actually it was even worse- -to Youngjae when the guy started being very close to Daniel, and, boy, it's Daniel we're talking about. Now, Jinyoung and Youngjae are like brothers. So, don't worry much about Jinyoung being mad, okay? He's just complicated like that, and impulsive, kind of stupid too, but he's a good friend." A smile stretches on his features.

"Oh." Mark tends to elaborate his sentences (pft) after being yelled at and then someone tells him not to take the person who yelled at him seriously. Uhm. "What about the guy Junior was talking about?"

Jongin sighs. "Slip of tongue. That was supposed to be a secret. The student was from another school. Jackson broke his nose which led to him being suspended from our school for three days and me and the other guys spreading the false news that Jackson just got sick." 

"Ah," is all Mark can say because holy , Jackson broke the guy's nose. He's always known that the guy could fight, but it's still surprising. He's imagining a six feet guy being beaten by Jackson. Holy mother of holy s.

"About Jinyoung, I know him well and, as I said before, he will want to throw himself from a building once I told him that you're following Jackson just because you're- -well, you have a crush on him."

There is a moment when the words seem floating in the air before they slip inside Mark's ears and later, they enter his brain, sinking in it.

Then, Mark chokes on air.

Jongin's grin looks triumphant.

"I- -I."

"You are not very subtle, you know." Jongin's eyes are shining with glee. "First, you get tense and you plaster a very interesting expression on your face when Jackson's around. I often catch you staring at our table- -at Jackson. Like, I caught you craning your neck to look at him." Mark feels oh so very small. "Then there was the juice- -that you gave Jackson because, mm, he looked thirsty." The other finishes, clapping his hands once.

His teasing tone is more scaring than Junior's ferocity. Jongin tilts his head on one side. "So do you like Jackson?"

"I- -"

"A simple yes or no, please."

Confessing it to Jaebum or to Laura (or to Nichkhun) was easy because he's known the three for so long and they've shared so many moments together (2/3 are his siblings. Please) that even if he doesn't like being judged by them, he can live with it.

But Jongin is another story.

It's a bit awkward having this kind of conversation with a guy you do not know that much (and Jongin is Jackson's friend), and Mark knows that he could perfectly lie and shake his head (even if it is evident that he has a crush. Jongin has made a list), but he can feel the blush spreading on his cheeks and reaching the tip of his ears. 

The guy wouldn't probably buy it if Mark told him no (the list. The list!).

Mark swallows. "Kinda," he squeaks, and ohmygod, the heat intensifies. One second he's pressing his lips in a line, one second later he laughs nervously. He looks at his shoes, bangs falling in front of his eyes, feeling extremely vurnerable. "Please don't tell him."

And Mark should stop trying to figure out people's characters- -Junior is no longer just a ball of happiness and rainbows and whines and hyungs, and Jongin is not nice because he bursts out laughing at a pleading Mark.

The other is wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. "Sorry." He says, but he doesn't sound apologetic at all. "What were you referring to? Please do not tell Jackson that you've been following him or please do not tell him that you like him?"

"Both." Mark answers. Stupid blush that won't stop making me look like a living tomato. "If- -if Jackson still does not suspect that I like him. Huh, that."

Jongin stares at Mark briefly before he erupts in laughters again.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm really so sorry- -but try to understand: only a blind moron wouldn't have seen that you like Jackson." He says in between giggles. "And surprise, you've chosen the most damn oblivious person in the entire world, Mark. Jackson thinks you bought him apple juice because you offended his skateboard by asking him if her name's Lady with an 'insulting tone'." He air quotes.

Mark bites the inside of his cheeks before he can sputter something ridiculous such as I beg to differ: you're the only puppy-person, but then this tempts him into staring at Jackson's own looking smooth cheeks and when Jackson says something again, Mark looks at two rows of perfect teeth and now he wants to kiss the guy so bad that he feels it in his whole body, fingertips and the soles of his feet included.

Fingers are snapping in front of his eyes.

. Again. Same again.

He straightens his back and he opens his mouth.

"You're sorry?" Jackson suggests him.

Mark's mouth remains agape. For a second. Then he closes it to just nod. "Yes," he wants to die. "Yes, I'm sorry. I'm not really like this. I can function properly, it's just that there are times- -when I'm thinking so much that I- -"

"You're rambling."

God, kill me.

"Uh, yes. I'm sorry."

Jackson's shaking his head at him with a full bright smile on his face. It's an illusion, isn't it, but tell me it's not.

"Mark," he says, and yes, Mark's heart is too big for his chest, "I gotta tell you something, but I want it to be quick so you clear your ears and listen to me without getting distracted." He orders, but his tone is not hard.

"Uh. Okay." Anything for you.

"So the guys, Jinyoung and Jongin, they want you to be part of the group and for some reason that only them know, they said that it's me who has to decide whether you can be in or not. They sent me here to tell you the condition- -uh you know that you have to make something pretty Awesome capital A?"

Mark shakes his head. Something's telling me that I won't like it. ing Jongin and ing Junior. Be part of the Jackson's gang- -why would they tell Jackson that?

Why would- - He blinks twice.

Jackson's gang⇒Mark will always get to sit at their table⇒Mark will probably hang out with them- -Jackson⇒Many other Jackson-related things.

Okay. He understands. "What should I do?"

The other is smirking. Mark swallows, y. "Surprise me."

"Surp- -how?"

Jackson shrugs. "You heard about the student who ran in the principal's office with a Halloween mask on?" He says, a smug look on his face. "Little Daniel. And the guy who covered the bio-lab with insects and worms was Youngjae."

Oh, . No, capital F.

"So," Mark looks a bit appalled, "I have to do something crazy that, uhm, breaks school rules?"

"You don't have to," Jackson says, ducking his head a little, "but if you don't, it will be very boring." He shoots Mark another fabulous smirk before holding up two fingers. "Done my part. Let me know if you wanna be one of us."

-

Jaebum's jaw drops when the very next day Mark comes to school with red hair.