The crowds continued to murmur as the next act arrived on stage, signalling their presence with a loud dramatic click which was obviously staged. Then, the music began. So-hyun enjoyed the sounds of a light guitar noise with synthetic drum beatings in the background. It felt peaceful but for some reason, hearing all of the boys’ voice that she knew sounded...weird. No, not weird. She had to rephrase that thought. It sounded different, hearing their voices in different pitches on purpose. She enjoyed it, honestly, but with her feelings all jumbled up, she couldn’t comprehend her emotions.

 

Just enjoy the damn song, So-hyun. She thought to herself as she reeled back into the peaceful song’s trance. Soon enough, the chorus bumped and it all suddenly sounded familiar. She quickly relayed to a few weeks ago, where she was downtown with Doojoon, and he distracted her from the jumbotron that played this song. It all made sense. It was of course, whenever she didn’t know about BEAST’S presence, but now this was the real deal. And it took her a while to comprehend the thought that she was friends with idol, not that it mattered anyway. She liked them for their quirkiness and their adorableness. Sure, being friends with idols were cool, but it wasn’t the true eyecatcher for friendships for So-hyun in the end.

 

His voice was beautiful. She thought to herself as she heard the maknae sing the lyricful words to the song as all the fangirls screamed for him.

 

Now when the lights go on and illuminate me.

 

His face remained calm as the idol revealed his true self to the audience, his true talent of his vocals. His eyes targeted around the audience until he found the familiar brunette girl, to where he sung his heart out to though the fangirls remained oblivious. So-hyun was less than them, and knew that he looked at her for a reason. In return, she couldn’t help but flash a thumbs up and blush lightly at the boy, though he couldn’t see it through the dark lights of the audience.

 

The song continued and So-hyun couldn’t help notice but follow the movements of the blonde-haired idol as he stared back at her monotonously. She smiled at him and realized that he wouldn’t take her eyes off of her. Perhaps she brought him comfort. and as enjoyable as the song was, So-hyun was saddened to find out that it was cut short, followed by a deep booming of a flash effect, shining down upon the fellow members of BEAST, who she was all familiar with.

 

Soon after the props were moved out of their ways, each member of the group was given a microphone. They used it to introduce themselves kindly to the audience as they explained several fundamentals from the comeback and their true thanks. Doojoon of course had spoken most of the times, since he was the leader but each member was given the microphone to share around to say a few words of support or such. Kikwang thanked his family and friends. Yoseob thanked the audience. But Dongwoon, he thanked his family, friends, and the audience altogether but he added even more.

 

“There is this one person out there. And she’d always help me through situations like this.”

 

So-hyun wasn’t stupid.

 

“And she’s actually here in the crowds right now. I just want to say thank you for being there for me. I really am thankful to have an amazing friend like you.”

 

Soft murmurs were spread throughout the crowd but as soon as he had given up his microphone back to Doojoon, they all erupted into fits of laughter and cheers once again. So-hyun smiled gratefully as she pushed back the prescriptioned nerd glasses onto the rims, blushing even more this time. He’s too smooth with girls. So-hyun thought to herself, frowning at the image she was perceiving him as again. He was a kind guy to begin with but with Ye-jin, he was a totally different person. He was more hostile and wasn’t the adorable teddy bear she found out that he really was. She couldn’t help but be thankful that they had split, but then again, she didn’t want to be a homewrecker for relationships.

 

After each members had taken a time to state their gratitudes, they all thanked the audiences one more time for supporting BEAST and soon enough, the bright lights Music Bank was accustomed to were shot on towards the members as a more up-beat song was played throughout the auditorium. The crowds began chanting their fanchants for the group as So-hyun remained dazed, focusing her eyes on the blonde idol. He looked so..at home on the stage. He looked as if he was having fun and that image right there, was her most favorite one to see of him. Though the girls around So-hyun continued screaming loudly every time a new member sung a different verse, So-hyun still focused her eyes on Dongwoon, only switching her views to Doojoon and Kikwang sometimes, just to see what they were doing at the time.

 

Nothing better than you.

 

If someone offers me the world.

 

He pointed towards the area where So-hyun stood within, erupting huge bursts of screams and shrieks from the girls standing nearby. God, they’re loud. So-hyun grumbled quietly to herself.

 

You, you, you, you!

 

I can’t trade it for you.

 

You’re so cheesy. So-hyun thought to herself, grinning sheepishly at the corny lyrics the boys continued to sing. And as soon as the lights began flickering to different colors, the chorus soon kicked in, causing the whole crowds within the stage room to start jumping along with the members.

 

So, beautiful my girl. Oh, oh girl. Oh, oh girl!

 

~

 

She paced herself along the walls as rushing custodians, talkative schedule managers, and famed idols were hurriedly rushing through the tight hallways, hoping to get to their next destination within their hectic idol lives without getting in trouble. So many rooms. She panickedly thought as she searched for the room that was located on the backstage pass she was given. So-hyun hoped that she would soon be granted with a miracle, and that she would find a map plastered onto the walls somewhere but that wasn’t needed as someone would’ve already found her first.

 

Feeling wrapped arms around her hips, So-hyun quickly turned around in shock to find the maknae grinning happily at the girl as his blonde hair was still slicked up into the fashionable mohawk. “Hi.” He meekly said as she quickly pushed him off of her to avoid the lingering paparazzi.  

 

“Hi!” So-hyun chirped out bluntly. It came out a bit quicker than she had processed it within her thoughts, but Dongwoon knew why she was acting so fineckedly. Sliding his fingers into hers, the taller male soon pulled the girl forcefully with him so quickly, that they soon began jogging within the hallways towards the nearby end where he swiftly pushed open the door and pulled her in.

 

The dressing room was unexpectedly neat whereas the dorm rooms she had seen within their video calls had been extremely messy with clothes and junk food scattered everywhere. Here though, the hair products and chairs remained in a tidy manner while the couches had nothing but several coats lay on them. And even so, the coats were lied over the hanging edge of the couch. “Omo.” She said quietly to herself as she examined the dressing room intently. Dongwoon had taken a seat within a chair which she assumed was his chair. The idol was quick to turn towards her and ask her nervously, “Were we good? Be honest!”

 

“Uh…” She stammered to herself as she ran her fingers along the silk leather of the couches.

 

After he remained silent with no reply, So-hyun decided to tell him the truth.

 

“Of course, you were good !”

 

His nervous expression had soon relieved down as he quickly formed a grin on his face. “I knew it!”

 

“You kept on looking at me throughout your performances though, you pabo!” So-hyun said, causing the boy to rub the back of his neck embarrassingly as he turned down towards the mirror where his reflection was shown.

 

“I know, I’m sorry! You just make me feel comfortable.”

 

“What?”

 

“Uh…”

 

Dongwoon panickedly thought of a lame excuse that would hopefully get him past this one. The girl surprisingly had kept quiet while his mind quickly pondered around, but soon after a soft rustling sound could be heard from the other side of the room, he could feel a comforting presence stand behind him. Turning around to notify the girl that he knew she was there, he was soon surprised to find a different soft sensation capture his lips as he inhaled in the girl’s familiar perfume scent. Widening his eyes in shock, the girl soon released from the kiss and took a few steps back, hoping that what she did wasn’t too strange or unusual. So-hyun felt warm on her cheeks as a rosy red color arrived towards her.

 

“Now what was that one for?” He asked the girl who began to look down at her converses, kicking them nervously up in the air.

 

Turning up to face the idol, “I don’t kno--”

 

He pulled her into another warm embrace as he kissed the top of her head, ignoring the amounts of hair that was pushed into his face. They omitted no annoyance but yet another clarified smell of flowers, which is what he thought of whenever he thought of So-hyun whether if it would be a wilted rose or a blooming lily.  She soon wrapped her arms around his neck and they remained in that position for what seemed the longest of times before they released each other from each other’s holds, knowing that the other members would soon be returning. And if they did end up seeing what happened between the two, the pairing would have no excuse this time as all was too self-explanatory for some phony excuse.

 

“You did amazing tonight, oppa.”

 

“You did too.”

 

“But I didn’t sing or dance like you did.”

 

“I know, but...yeah I don’t know. I tried doing something cheesy there but you’re just amazing.”

 

“Pabo.”

 

But for the remaining hours of the night before midnight had came, So-hyun contemplated what was now the biggest question within her mind. The past days of the week had been nothing else but pure evidence that would support her true answer for the question.

 

~

 

“What if I liked Dongwoon?” So-hyun asked through the phone, the end seeming to end at Suzy’s residence.

 

A silence was omitted from both of them before a loud noise was shouted throughout the phone line that caused So-hyun’s ears to ache out in pain, “What?!”

 

“Aish, you’re so loud.”

 

“I don’t care! What?!”

 

“Nothing, nevermind. It’s just a jok--”

 

“Damn right it better be a joke! You dating that bastard? No! Who knows what else he can do to you?”

 

Suzy was partially right. Dongwoon knew how to initiate the girl’s feelings easily enough to be able to break into her. And So-hyun thought she had a thing for concealing her feelings and thoughts. That was until she met Dongwoon of course. Or perhaps no one just cared to ask her. She was a nobody here after all. Never welcomed nor never talked to. Every girl had a small hint of hope that it would get better, but for So-hyun, she seemed to have given up on knowing that it would get better. She was done. It’ll never get better and it’s not worth trying, she would tell herself.

 

Elevating herself onto her shoulder to hear the phone better, “Arasso. I know, lame joke.”

 

Suzy was on a rant to make sure that So-hyun would never view him as relationship material. “Cold-hearted humor. Don’t ever say you want to date him. EVER.”

 

“Arasso.”

 

“Promise me?”

 

“I gotta go, goodnight!”

 

“No wai--”

 

It was too late, and by the time So-hyun had already hung up the phone,  Suzy was infuriated by her best friend’s irrational thoughts. So-hyun had one wish though. She wished that Suzy was more comforting and supporting of her decisions. Aren’t best friends supposed to stick up for each other? At some points, So-hyun felt like their friendship was anything but that. She felt as if it was Suzy going against her. Sure, it might be for protection or defense but if she took it to an extreme level like that, their friendship will go no where but just crash down.

 

She didn’t know where her feelings lied at the moment. With all the con-thoughts that were in her mind, for some reason the pros seemed to start to overweigh the balance between both sides. He was so dreamy and yet so charming towards So-hyun but then she remembered the evil side to him, the side where he negatively ruined her days. She rolled up her left cardigan sleeve, revealing the bloodied mark that now remained a reddish scar. Everytime she seemed to look at it, the pressuring thoughts of suicide seem to return as well as the thoughts of the menacing bullies who caused her to cry herself to sleep every night. She left the trance obviously, but she hadn’t left the phase, and she only seemed to only have received the beginning treatment of the long process.

 

He’s so nice to me now though.

 

But he didn’t always used to be that way.

 

And, he’s such a good kid.

 

If he was a good kid, he would’ve never said any of those cruel things to me.

 

He’s too adorable.

 

And evil.

 

The horrible characteristics seemed to always linger behind within the shadows and whenever they were seen, they ruined the whole image. The darkness of the shadows uproared much longer than the actual human itself. Their past ruined their present.

 

Rolling onto her face on the bed, So-hyun groaned outwardly when she couldn’t make a final, steady decision. What do I do? She would ask herself several times. Suddenly, the similar text notification ringtone had been rung aloud. And she only set that specific ringtone for one person, and one person only.

 

From: Dongwoon~

 

Hey! What’s up~ ^-^

 

--

 

She smiled at the text and was quick to run her fingers against the device to type back a reply, but midways of the typing, she realized how small things like this mattered a lot. They’d been texting for the past few weeks more often and off now, but she didn’t feel pressured to reply as of where sometimes whenever she texted Kikwang or Doojoon, she’d have to think of a reply that would suffice both of their feelings. Here though, she could express anything she wanted and frankly, she wasn’t sure if she was grateful for that.

 

To: Dongwoon~

 

Nothing, just about to go and get some fresh air. It’s too stuffy in the house. ;_;

 

--

 

She was also thankful for his quick replies and his protective side though it contradicted against his past behavior several weeks before heavily.

 

From: Dongwoon~

 

Make sure you’re wearing a coat! It’s cold outside! ^~^/

 

--

 

Pulling on a navy blue peacoat, So-hyun quickly greeted her Grandmother off who remained silent most of the days but the younger girl figured it would be best to leave her in isolation. She found her comfort whenever she was complete silence anyway. Pushing open the door, she shouted her final goodbye and ventured into the cold winds. The winter seasons arrived and unfortunately this year, Mother Nature wasn’t going to let it arrive that feasibly.

 

It was fine anyway, So-hyun had a lot to think about and this cold weather was just an addition to the her thoughts.

 

~

 

Suzy sat within the red, leather booth chairs alone, staring out of the windows into the open world where the endless possibilities lied.

 

The cafe remained mostly empty as she took small sips from her vanilla milkshake, waiting for a text back from So-hyun. The girl was crazy. Suzy insultingly thought to herself as she remembered the slight thoughts of So-hyun dating Dongwoon. For a beautiful girl like her, she doesn’t deserve a jerk like him. That was her main prime reason; his past behavior. But now, they seemed to bond easily together but it remained too suspicious for Suzy.

 

“Hi.” A husky voice said, startling the girl from her thoughts and causing her to jump back into her seat, bringing the straw along sending bits of the milkshakes all over the seat.

 

“Omo!” She cried aloud as she struggled to get the napkins to clean up the slight mess she had caused. Luckily, no one was here or else she would’ve ran out of the cafe. She had a small ego but it was still an expectation. No time for paparazzi these days.

 

The male voice suddenly sounded much closer as Suzy could feel a warm figure sit nearby her, along with his scent which smelled crisp and clear.

 

“Let me help you.” The mysterious male said. It was far too intriguing now. Suzy quickly turned her heads towards the male who had called to her attention but it was strange. The male had dark brown hair which was styled sleekly to the side with a reddish-maroon scarf covering the lower half of his face, which included his mouth. His words didn’t seem muffled but perhaps he was just speaking with full clarity within his voice.

 

Now seated next to the girl, the unknown human swiftly reached over towards the napkins to wipe off the drippings of the shake all over the table, making sure that the table was left spotless after he was done. “Sorry for scaring you.” He said as he continued wiping off the bits of vanilla within the shake. After he was done, he turned towards the girl to make sure she was as clean as the table, wiping off the pouring liquids on her jacket.

 

“It’s fine,” She said, blushing at the gentleman’s manners, “Sorry if I’m being blunt, but who are you?”

 

The boy chuckled slightly before pulling down his scarf. widened in shock as she faced Kikwang, the boy who sat near her in school but as well as BEAST’S visual. He smiled sheepishly as he put down the damp napkins before pulling up his scarf again, most likely to hide himself from the fangirls who sometimes went berserk on the idols.

 

“Kikwang-ah? What are you doing here?!” She asked in despair. This cafe mainly got their huge popularities from small idols like Suzy visiting here, but most of the times whenever she got here, it was too early in the morning for any of the fans to be awake. Supposedly she wasn’t the only one who visited here.

 

“I come here in my freetime. Only in the mornings though. We have our rehearsals and schedules during the daytime.” He explained.

 

The girl’s insides screamed in a slight fangirling way as she stared at the brown-haired idol who continued staring nonchalantly at her, absent-minded. He didn’t notice the intense staring she was given towards him, but he was used to it from fangirls so it wasn’t much of a surprise.

 

He’s so cute. Suzy thought to herself as she continued grinning at him awkwardly. Soon enough, the male caught onto her staring and let out a soft cough to snap the girl out of her trance. “Well, I’m gonna go get a shake so I’ll be right back.” He said gently as he got out of the seat to walk towards the owners of the shop who warmly greeted him. Idols respected the owners here. They were an old couple who mainly ran the shops by themselves, having some of their children coming up to help whenever the seasons began to get busy but most of the times it was just them. They were sweet but yet fun. The elders respected the idols’ privacies, and whenever fans would ask them about idols being here, they would merely shrug and blame their short-term memories on the problem.

 

Instinctively, Suzy remembered who she should’ve been telling all these news to as she quickly slided open her phone to send So-hyun the long fangirling messages that would be in all caps. Soon after she clicked the send button, Kikwang had already returned with a strawberry shake being held within his hands. He shot the girl one of his bright smiles again. “Do you mind if I sit with you?” He suavely asked nervously as the girl timidly nodded in return.

 

“Go ahead.” She bluntly said, surprising the male at first but then causing him to laugh comfortingly.

 

“So what are you doing here this early?” Kikwang asked as he settled down onto the other side of the booth, taking a long sip out of his milkshake. The girl couldn’t help but fluster to herself as she hoped that the boy would sit next down to her.

 

“I usually always go here in the morning. That way the fans aren’t here. And it’s nice having all this silence, you know?”

 

“Oh yeah? How’s miss A doing these days?”

 

“Good. Beast?”

 

“Recent comeback, no biggie.”

 

She laughed. Small talk like this was her favorite. Within school, she never really had that many chances nor much time to talk to Kikwang as studying became the top priority within the death building. Outside of school, she was automatically ushered into practice performances, variety shows, schedules, interviews, and other idol activities that left her with nothing little nor more than a mere small chat from here and there from her friends. Reasons like these made her wish she was just living a normal life. But whenever she had small freetimes like on the weekends within mornings like these, she cherished them heavily.

 

“How’s everyone in the group?”

 

“Good, good. Doojoon’s being like always whenever we have a comeback; all stressed out and crap. Yoseob’s the same. Hyunseung’s the same. Junhyung’s normal. Dongwoon’s cool as always. He has some girl on his mind all the time though now.”

 

She cringed at his name.

 

“And then I’m doing good like always.”

 

Suzy rolled her eyes. “That’s good. I hope you guys do good for your promotions!”

 

“You too!” He said, flashing another bright-eyed smile at the girl. He’s too adorable. She thought to herself as she smiled back at him. No, no, no. No boys, Suzy. She dejectedly thought to herself, attempting to crush the thoughts of herself within a relationship with Kikwang. Sure, he was attractive and was super adorable but she’s definitely not ready for any relationship yet. Especially with being within a new K-Pop group. She just didn’t have time for this but it seemed so hard for Suzy to throw out the thoughts.

 

He seemed to realize her solemn quietness as he eyed her warily. “Is something wrong?” He asked worriedly.

 

She shook her head, “Ani, no. I’m fine, just thinking about uh..stuff.”

 

“Oh, okay?”

 

“Haha, yeah…”

 

Besides this small encounter, Suzy had never really talked to him before so she was really surprised of his kind and gentle manners. The only few images she perceived of the idol was what was given as info within the news online, but then again, it was news online. Stuff like that wasn’t exactly the most believable information one could receive on an idol. The other times she had seen his image was at school, whenever So-hyun would argue with Ye-jin and Kikwang would defensively back up So-hyun. Ever since then, Suzy feared Kikwang slightly as he had a tough image surrounding him most of the time. Otherwise than that, he always remained quiet in school and only had small snickers with So-hyun and Yoseob despite their quartet being especially close.

 

She needed to get out of here before she embarrassed herself even further.

 

Gah.

 

“Omo, look at the time. I gotta be back at the dorm. I’m having a photoshoot today for Breathe.”

 

“Oh…” He said quietly as the girl began to rustle herself out of the seat, bowing down to the elders who waved kindly towards her.

 

Pulling on her own trench coat hastily, Suzy rushingly began to walk towards the door in a swift manner. “I’ll see you another Kikwang!”

 

“Yeah, it was nice talking to you. We should go out for lunch one day.” He proposed towards her, causing the girl to blush slightly.

 

“Uh, yeah. Gotta go!”

 

“Wai--”

 

The door was already slammed shut as the girl took running towards the opposite direction of the cafe. He held the girl’s beanie within his hands, feeling the sewed textures of the hat.

 

“You forgot your hat…” He said sadly as he attempted to get up to chase her for it. But the girl was far gone from his eyesight. How’d she run that fast? He questioningly asked himself, turning both ways on the road to search for the girl. Alas, it was too late. Sighing in disappointment, Kikwang sat down onto the booth chairs again, this time alone. Perhaps he would return it to her in school.

 

Yeah, I’ll just do that.

 

And also get her number…

 

Keke.