"Maybe there's something
you're afraid to say
or someone you're afraid
to love, or somewhere
you're afraid to go.
It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt
because it matters." 

- John Green

 

 

You set it again

My heart's in motion

Every word feels like a shooting star

I'm at the edge of my emotions

Watchiing the shadows

Burning in the dark

 

And I'm in love

And I'm terrified

For the first time

And the last time

In my only life.

 

- Terrified by Katherine McPhee ft. Zachary Levi

 

 

"Appa! Appa!"

Kim Eun-ji, Jongin's daughter, called from her bedroom. It was ten minutes past twelve at midnight. It was one of his daughter's sleepless nights. Jongin rubbed his eyes of sleep and walked to his daughter's bedroom.

"Yes darling?" He asked. He patted her head.

"Can you tell me the story of the prince and princess again?" The little girl, barely five, requested.

"Again? Didn't I tell you that yesterday, the day before and the day before the day before and so on?"

"Yes I know appa." The little girl said as if her father had the IQ of a dead log. "But I like it so much. I couldn't sleep without it." The girl persisted.

Her persistent nature she certainly took after her father, but that was the extent of it. Kim Eunji had pale skin, brown hair and eyes the same shade of brown as her mother, Kim Mikhaela. Neither too dark nor too light, like milk chocolate maybe? She is still young, it's still subject to change.

Knowing that protesting to his little girl's wishes would bring nothing good, he sighed and gave in. He climbed onto the bed and lay next to his daughter, who snuggled next to him. They covered themselves with the thick blankets, albeit Jongin's feet went past the hem of the blanket because of his tall physique.

"Are you ready? Appa won't start until you're ready."

"I'm ready appa!" The girl said eagerly. Jongin cleared his throat and started,

"Once upon a time, in a land called, Seoul, South Korea, lived a princess. The princess was very beautiful. She had long brown hair, bright eyes and pink lips." Jongin smiled as the image of her face, her beautiful face, flashed in his mind.

"Appa?" Eunji shook Jongin's arm.

"Sorry darling. Daddy got distracted. Where was I? Oh yes. The princess was very beautiful and for her face she was loved by many princes far and wide. And she loved them back with all her heart. Only the princes who she loved gave back her heart in pieces. And it happened over and over again."

"But appa, how can someone's heart be broken? Wouldn't they die?" Eunji asked, and Jongin laughed at his daughter's innocence. Soon you would know, when you grow up.

"Let's say that if someone doesn't love you Eunji, you will be hurt and your heart will be hurt too and it can break, but you would not die, because someone out there still loves you." Jongin said.

"Okay, I understood nothing. Please continue appa."

"Because every prince she loved always broke her heart, she was afraid to love. She did not want to fall in love anymore. She was afraid that anyone she loved would give back her heart broken when it just healed, just like every prince."

"Well what stupid princes." Eunji blurted out.

"Kim Eunji where did you learn that word? And keep quiet or I won't continue."

"Appa!" Eunji looked downcast and Jongin could see pretend tears forming, a trait from her mother (or her aunt? Whichever, they're both bad influences, Jongin figured).

"I will continue if you stop crying and if you keep quiet." So Eunji wiped her tears and remained quiet, and Jongin continued telling the story.

"One day, there was this prince who liked the princess very much and he wanted to tell her that he would never break her heart like the others did. They were brought together by an appointment by the Queen of the land.

"Today I will give you the whole period to think about your charity showcases. Your goal would be to gain as much money for the charity as you can with your showcases. It could anything, from plays to mini science fairs, as long as it is approved. I will group you into 4, and then you may start." The head teacher said and procured a bowl filled with slips of paper.

"For Group 1: Do Kyungsoo, Kim Junmyeon, Zhang Yixing, Song Victoria."

"Group 2: Kris Wu, Huang Zitao, Kim Jongin, Jung Soojung."

"Group 3: Byun Baekhyun, Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongdae, Amber Liu."

"Group 4: Kim Minseok, Oh Sehun, Lu Han, Choi Jinri, Park Sun-young."

The tables were arranged for groups and Kris, Zitao, Jongin and Soojung took their seats on the group of tables assigned for them. 

"So what project shall we do?" Kris asked. "Any suggestions?"

"Baking soda volcano." Zitao said as he applied his lipgloss. Kris took it away from him and glared.

"This is no joke Tao. Get your senses together." Kris said and Tao sported a look of annoyance.

"I think most will try science fairs with the most elaborate projects, especially the first group, so why not a performance?" Soojung suggested.

"That sounds good. What kind will we do?"

"Something entertaining and will keep the people watching until the end. Four of us performing individually will be too long I think, so what are our common talents?"

"I can rap." Kris said.

"I can rap too, and wushu." Tao said.

"I... I'm willing to dance." Jongin said.

"I can't sing but I can dance decently." Soojung said finally. "So Kris and Tao will rap. Make your own or do a cover, any will do. Jongin and I will dance. Tao will have a short wushu performance."

"You can sing." Jongin said and Soojung looked at him,

"What makes you say that?"

"I've heard you sing."

"Well then you must've heard the windows cracking along with it. I can't sing." Soojung said.

"You will sing. You are depriving yourself of things you excel at. Please sing." Jongin said.

"I won't."

"You will."

"I said I won't sing, Kim Jongin."

"You will sing, Jung Soojung."

"Will you stop it you look like idiots." Kris said and Jongin and Soojung glared at him.

"Fine I will sing. When will we start practicing?" Soojung relented.

"Whenever we are all free. I suppose me and Tao will practice separately from both of you." Kris said. For Tao and Kris they spent the rest of the period planning and deciding what rap songs will they sing. For Soojung and Jongin they spend the period deciding what song to sing, what song to dance to and the choreography.

"Any song you've got in mind for singing?" Jongin asked.

"You're asking me what song I've got in mind when all I planned to do was dance?" Soojung asked incredulously.

"Because you're the one that's going to sing. I'll probably just dance behind you while your singing or sing with you." Jongin said casually.

"Oh you big... you are so lucky we are in the presence of a teacher or I will totally punch you." Soojung gritten her teeth.

"Yah Jung Soojung, do you know 'Counting Stars'?" Jongin asked.

"By OneRepublic? Yes I know that song. Why?"

"I was suggesting we sing it."

"We? But I thought you were just going to dance?"

"I did mention that I would probably sing with you." Jongin countered.

"'Probably' is the key word there."

"Then we'll change it to 'will'. I will sing with you."

"How are we going to dance?" Soojung asked with raised eyebrows.

"We can dance while doing the song, or a separate dance number before the song. See I'm a genius with this things." Jongin answered which infuriated Soojung.

"Have it your way." Soojung said and ignored him for the rest of the time she explained the breakdown of their showcase to Kris and Zitao.

"What's the name of the Queen appa?" Eunji asked suddenly.

"I've told you this story many times. How can you forget the Queen's name?" Jongin asked.

"Well actually appa you've never mentioned her name. So what is it?"

"Never? Impossible. I've always told her name."

"No you don't appa. So what is her name?" Eunji said as patiently as a five year old asking her father a simple question can. This is why old people bore me so much.

"Well, why don't we call her Kwon Boa?" Jongin suggested. The little girl seemed to accept the name given by her father so she nodded, and Jongin continued,

Soojung and Jongin organized the schedule of their practices so that any practice would not get in the way of their studies and they would only do it if they have free time.

Jongin has a lot of free time.

Soojung has a lot of free time.

So on a Saturday afternoon, they found themselves in a practice room making choreography out of the blue and trying to dance what they have made so far to the dubstep they chose.

{ Dancing9 - Girls' Generation and EXO Special Collaboration Stage }

"That's so hard!" Soojung said, wiping sweat from her forehead as she looked at Jongn doing a move part of their choreography.

"You did it before! How can it be so hard now?" Jongin said. He stood behind Soojung to guide her body to doing the step when she said,

"No I'm sorry I can do it now. There's no need to show me how."

"But you said you can't do it. Anyhow, I'll still show you how to do it." Jongin placed his hands on her waist and Soojung, sensing this as a breach of personal space, swatted it away and punched him in the stomach. Jongin immediately retracted his hands away and curled in pain.

"KIM JONGIN I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND RUB SALT ON YOUR BARE MUSCLES IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN AND I WILL REGRET NOTHING." Soojung said shrilly.

"I was only going to teach you how to do the step you didn't have to overreact and punch me. it hurts. Never expected that from a person like you." Jongin said as he nursed his body.

"I pride myself on learning self-defense when I was younger. I definitely think that it was worth sacrificing my precious Fridays learning it." Soojung said. "And you could've taught me the step without touching me!"

"And you could've taught me not to touch you by telling me, not by punching me! Can we move on now to the singing? I don't think I can dance much after this." Jongin stood up and changed the music to the instrumental of their chosen song.

{ Counting Stars cover by Alex Goot, Kurt Schneider and Chrissy Constanza }

"Pause it first. How do we divide the parts?" Soojung asked. Jongin did so and sat, thinking of how they will divide their

"In choruses of course we'll sing together, also in bridges. You'll sing most of the time though." Jongin said.

"Wha- What do you mean I'll sing most of the time? You better join me!"

"Of course I'll join you singing why the heck did I volunteer singing with you for?"

"Not just in choruses!"

"Stop nagging and let's start." Jongin played the instrumental and handed Soojung the lyric sheet.

"You'll sing until the second line then I'll start, then on the last three lines we'll sing together." Jongin instructed and Soojung nodded.

"Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep~"

"Dreaming about the things that we could be~" Soojung sang.

"But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard." Jongin sang.

"Said no more counting dollars,

We'll counting stars.

Yeah we'll be counting stars." They sang together.

"I'll sing the first stanza of verse one, and.... and most of the second stanza then we'll join together on the last." Jongin said hurriedly as the instrumental for the next part played.

"I see this life like a swinging vine.

Swing my heart across the line

In my face is flashing signs

Seek it out and ye shall find." Jongin sang.

"Old~"

"But I'm not that old."

"Young~"

"But I'm not that bold.

And I don't think the world is sold

I'm just doing what we're told."

Soojung found herself comfortable singing quite a depressing song. A story of a man working hard to earn money and envisioning how he will use it with his lover, but realizing that it's not worth doing it when his efforts go to waste and resort to body-deteriorating activities. She did not relate to it, but it did speak vastly on how people would spend their time on Earth.

"Soojung!" Jongin snapped Soojung out of her bubble and they continued singing.

"I~ feel something so right

By doing the wrong thing."

"And I feel something so wrong

By doing the right thing."

"I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie.

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive."

Jongin paused the music and sat down.

"The first two lines of the chorus are yours, then the following lines we'll duet."

"Jongin, can you make your voice a bit... in between? My voice is high enough, I don't think a high voice would match."

"Is my voice high?"

"DId your brain process what I just said?" Soojung asked.

"Okay okay calm down." Jongin played the music and they started singing.

"Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be."

"But baby I've been, I've been praying hard.

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be counting stars."

"Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be."

"But baby I've been, I've been praying hard.

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be, we'll be counting stars."

Soojung paused the music and they took greedy gulps of air. They were sweating hard and tired.

"We did good today." She said.

"You make it sound as if we did nothing at all before. Nothing. At. All." Jongin mocked an expression of offense and Soojung glared at him.

"Only joking. Why don't I take you home?"

"No thank you. I don't which to be pregnant at 19." Soojung declined.

"Trust me Jung Soojung, I would do you no harm. What would I do with a stick anyway?" Her eyes were set ablaze with fury and Jongin recoiled.

"If Her Cold Majesty says so. You sure you don't want someone to you home? It's getting dark." Jongin's tone turned to one of concern. The place where they were in, Hongdae, is famous for its nightlife and it can get pretty... violent in a way.

"I can handle myself. Thank you for your concern though Jongin." Soojung gave Jongin a small smile.

"By the way let's exchange numbers. In case you need me, or purely for this showcase. You can delete it afterwards." Jongin gave Soojung his number and she gave hers and they parted ways.

 

"Appa, why did the princess not want the prince to her back to the palace? If I were her I would have accepted it." Eunji said. Jongin smiled at her daughter.

"Because she didn't want the people to think she was courting the prince whom no one knew. The people must know the prince who is courting their princess because he will turn out to be their King. They want to know who will rule them."

"If I were her..."

"But you are a different kind of princess, Eunji. You are appa's princess." Jongin said and his daughter's heart swelled at the thought of being a princess to her father.

"Yes I am. I am appa's princess!"

"Yes you are, and will forever be. And umma's princess."

"No just appa's princess. Umma's should be a prince. When will there be a prince?" The little girl suddenly asked and Jongin was thrown off-balance by his daughter's question. Did she just ask if she wanted a sibling? A boy, of all genders. She could've asked for a girl.

"D-Do you want a prince in this house?"

"Yes I do, only if he isn't noisy and annoying."

"We-Well, you're m-mother and I will try to have a prince, all right?" Jongin said.

"Does that mean we'll have a prince soon? YAY!" If your mother will allow it, which I'm pretty sure she won't.

"Keep quiet please Eunji." Jongin said and continued the story,

 

Soojung walked home after one of their practices, her house not far from the practice room they rented in Hongdae. The streets of Hongdae were alive with neon signs, bright lights and the feet of loudly dressed and equally loud partygoers leading them to the various clubs and bars. Soojung tried to maneuver around without bumping to anyone and succeeded until she felt a hand wrap itself around her arm.

"Darling~ *hic*" Said the owner of the hand, an obviously drunk man.

"Let go of me." Soojung said, trying to get out of the man's grip, but the man won't budge. "You're hurting me."

"Ditch *hic* them clothes *hic* darling and *hic* come with *hic* me." Soojung tried kicking the man but he blocked, and the grip became tighter and the man started dragging her.

"Yah! Yah! Let go of me!" Soojung yelled shrilly in hopes that people would notice, to no avail. The man, who seems to have gained a bit of strength, dragged her harder and she resisted. Then a hand covered her eyes and she could feel warm breath on her neck,

"Keep quiet, and always close your eyes." Then she could feel the hand leave her face but she followed whatever the voice said and kept her eyes shut. She could feel the grip of the man disappear and the retching sounds of punching.

"Open them now." She did, and the first thing she saw was Jongin standing in front of her, massaging his knuckles and the drunk man gone. She looked at her current state, her arms littered with small bruises. 

"J-J-Jongin..."

"Save it and I'll take you home, goddammit." Jongin took her hand and walked, Soojung following behind.

"Yah Kim Jongin! What's got you angry? Kim Jongin!"

"What's got me angry? You being stupid."

"If that's what's got you angry then you should've just left me there. I can handle it by myself."

"Are you saying you would like it better if I saw you struggling with that er and left you there knowing you'll be kidnapped or or some ? You can handle it by yourself, right." Jongin rolled his eyes.

"Alright I couldn't handle it by myself but you didn't have to fuss that much. Pabo."

"Just thank the lord you got me, or you would be god knows where."

"Aish! Just take me home!"

They practiced again the weeks after, their dances and singing improving. After what happened to Soojung, Jongin insisted they should rent somewhere else, anywhere else except Hongdae. Soojung had to comply even though it was far from her home.

As compensation, Jongin always took her home. While they walked through the streets, they passed the time by talking to each other. They would talk about logical things at first, then they slowly progressed to the most nonsensical of topics and they would collapse into laughter.

They also began calling each other names. Not 'dickhead' or 'idiot' or on the sweeter side, 'yeobo' or 'darling'. Names they plan to use if ever they go on to the entertainment industry. A result of talking whatever subject they progress to whenever they want to pass time.

"I've been thinking about it, and I think I like to call myself Kai." Jongin said.

"The Japanese for 'ocean'?"

"Yep." Jongin said, popping the 'p'. "Kinda symbolizes the how big my dreams and aspirations are, and that nothing can stop me from making them come true."

"How nice. You're not that shallow and dense as I thought you to be." Soojung said and laughed.

"Well what's yours then?"

"My father sometimes calls me 'Krystal', for god knows what reason. And I've taken a liking to it. I keep it a secret though. Only someone important can call me Krystal."

"Where's your father by the way?" Jongin asked.

"Up there." Soojung said, and Jongin understood immediately.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I should not have asked that."

"What are you sorry for? It's no big deal." Soojung said nonchalantly.

"It may not look like a big deal, but it still seems like a sensitive topic to you." Jongin said. "Soojung."

"Yes?"

"Can I call you Krystal?" Soojung paused at Jongin's request. 

You just said that only someone important could call you Krystal. 

It won't hurt to make Jongin call me Krystal. It's just a name.

Don't fall for it Soojung. He's luring you. Next he'll ask you if you can be together. A few months later he'll be dumping your somewhere, just like everybody else.

"Yes." Soojung said. "Can I call you Kai?"

"Yes."

"Can I ask you something?" Kai said.

"What?"

"What do you want in a relationship?"

"What? Why would you ask that? What for?" Krystal panicked.

"Nothing. I'm curious." Kai defended his question.

"Well... I just want to feel true love. Not sympathy, not pity, not lust, not admiration or puppy love or heaven forbid, obsession. Just love. It doesn't have to be straight from a fairytale, because that's not true love."

"Then what is true love? For you anyway."

"True love is a plethora of things, but for me... it's when you look in their eyes and you see the all-knowing sparkle in it and you feel butterflies in your stomach, and when you grow older it doesn't go away or dies, it stays there. It's when you kiss and you feel the fireworks. It's when you overcome the problems that face you no matter how hard or how repetitive. True love is a rollercoaster ride, full of ups and down and loops. But you enjoy it, no matter how many downs you go through, because all that matters is the ups." Krystal said.

"Have you felt it before?"

"What's will all the deep questions?"

"I just want to know!"

"What makes it ironic is that I haven't, given the many many boyfriends I've had. So if ever I experience it, it must be truly magical. It must be what the old people say, or I would give up on humanity."

 

"Kai we've been doing so good for the past weeks!" Krystal said after their latest practice, happy that they have perfected most of their choreography.

"We wouldn't be without me." Kai said and Krystal slapped him playfully in the arms. Kai mocked an expression of hurt.

"Why don't we take a break? Like, no practice next week. Then I promise we'll work our asses off the week after next." Krystal suggested.

"Break? What break? We still have so much to do. We haven't even practiced much for the singing yet!" Kai said.

"I'm so tired~"

"We'll eat for a while, then we'll practice."

"Kai, eating doesn't make my exhaustion go away. I really want to go home. I promise I'll work my off next next week." Krystal pleaded.

"Fine. You better treat me." Kai said and they began packing their things and walked to Krystal's house.

 

 

"Oh my god that is so dirty! What was it again?" Krystal said in between laughs.

"Again? It goes like 'Hey girl, you looking damn fine, your legs looking damn fine. I'll call the left one Thanksgiving and I'll call the right one Christmas. Then can I visit you between the holidays?'"

"No!"

"I wasn't planning to anyway." Kai stuck his tongue out and made a run for it, Krystal chasing him. They stopped on the front door of Soojung's house and pressed the button for the doorbell. The door was answered by Mrs. Jung, who let them in.

"Annyeongseyo umma~ annyeongseyo unnie~" Krystal greeted her mother and sister.

"Annyeongseyo eomeoni~ annyeongseyo noona." Kai greeted Mrs. Jung and Soojung's sister, Soo-yeon, with a bow. 

"Just call me Jessica Jongin." Mrs. Jung put a tray of food on the table and they ate.

Mrs. Jung was not used to seeing her daughter so happy. Jessica adored it.

"After countless boyfriends and tears, Soojung's happy again. Do you think she's already with that boy?" Mrs. Jung asked her eldest daughter.

"Umma, Krystal doesn't fall that easily. I think she considers Jongin as a close guy friend."

"It's really nice to see her happy. And when is she going to confess to... this Jongin guy you say?" Mrs. Jung said a little too loudly and Krystal and Kai looked at her with wide eyes.

"Umma... what.. Kai is not... we are not.. Unnie!" Krystall stuttered.

"Umma asked, and I answered." Jessica shrugged.

"Jessica, Krystal and I... we are not... we are not what you think we are." Kai clarified.

"Potato poterterr Jongin. I'll leave you two to your business. Kris is probably waiting for me. Bye umma~" Kai spilled a bit of his coffee hearing it.

"You-You're dating Kris?"

"Yes." Jessica left and so did Mrs. Jung with the excuse of 'picking up the groceries', truly leaving Kai and Krystal alone. They ate and talked a bit, and an awkward silence settled.

"Do you want to build a snowman?" Kai asked.

"Didn't know you watch Disney, but why not." Kai and Krystal went out and the latter locked the door of the house. While doing so, Kai threw a snowball at her.

"Are you challenging me?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Kai threw another snowball and Krystal followed, hitting Kai straight in the face. More snowballs and laughter followed, Kai and Krystal chasing each other with snow in their hands.

"I thought we were here to build a snowman." Krystal, more of a statement than a question. Kai thew his last snowbal and they began building their snowman. Kai and Krystal helped each other roll the snow and pile them up together. Kai picked a fallen pinecone and made it into a nose and they both picked up twigs and small branches for other parts.

"Done! What should be name him?" Kai said.

"Him? I want it to be a girl." Krystal pouted. Kai found it cute.

"To be fair, the name's Kaistal." Kai said.

"What for? Does that even exist?"

"Kai plus Krystal, duh. So it's both a girl and a boy." Kai explained.

"I... I like that. Let's call it Kaistal."

 

 

Krystal lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling and her mind replaying the moments she had with Kai.

Kai.

Kai.

Kai.

Just not long ago she always called him Jongin. Kim Jongin even. What happened?

Whenever they danced her heart pounded and beat fast because she was doing her passion. But now it had an added bonus. She was doing her passion with a guy she...

"No. No no no no no. Don't even think about it Soojung." Krystal muttered and pushed the thought away. She can't like Jongin. She can't fall for Jongin, or any boy for that matter. The ending would always be the same. She would always end up heartbroken, crying her heart out to her mother or her sister and her focus and concentration gone. She was just an idiot for falling over and over again.

Kai was no different.

Everytime he would do his solo for the dance she was mesmerized with the way he moves. Her breath hitched, butterflies in her stomach and wishing she could do it with him instead of a solo. Whenever they practice for singing, her and his voice synchronized together and it sounded like the perfect melody to her ears.

"No. No Jung Soojung. Focus. You can't. Kai will be like every guy out there who you've dated. No." The door of her bedroom opened at light flooded the room, Krystal squinting as her eyes were not used to the light. A sleepy Jessica entered at sat at the edge of her bed.

"I heard you talking. Spill it out." Jessica said.

"Kim Jongin."

"Oh that boy. Well-mannered, passionate, seems loving. You look good together."

"That's not helping unnie."

"Well you didn't exactly specify what helps and what not helps."

"I can't like him. I refuse to." Soojung said.

"There's only two things I'm going to say to you. Maybe what you feel is adoration. Maybe it's attraction. Love even, as ridiculous as it sounds. But Soojung, don't deny yourself the feeling of love."

"What's the second one?"

"I'm going back to sleep. It's your turn to wash the dishes tomorrow by the way, and don't think you're exempted because you're busy." Jessica then left. 

Krystal was unable to sleep that night.

The weeks passed by fast and Kai and Krystal found themselves getting ready for their showcase. They practiced behind the stage while waiting for their turn after Kris and Tao. The loud thumps of music and the people cheering can be heard amongst Kris' and Tao's rapping.

"You're up next in 5 minutes." A coordinator said and Krystal panicked.

"What if we mess up?"

"Krystal. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Kai, we are supposed to be on the stage in 5 minutes. I don't need a lecture right now."

"It's important."

"It better be important enough to steal away my 5 minutes of practice." He wouldn't chicken out. Not with 5 minutes left before we perform.

"I'll cut to the chase then. Jung Soojung, I like you." 

No. Please. Krystal thought.

"Ha ha. Yeah yeah I like you to, but as a-"

"No let me finish. I like you like a man likes a woman, like a man likes another man or a woman likes another woman. Like I wanna kiss you and hug you and treat you like a queen kind of like. Like I wanna do the thing with you then I'll kiss you the morning after kind of like."

"Jongin..."

"What?"

"Stop it. Stop saying you like me."

"Why? What's wrong with saying I like you? You aren't ready, I know, but I like you like I would wait until you're ready kind of like you." Hearing Jongin's confession pained Krystal. She's been through this many a time, and she would always get the same result. Sugarcoated lies, honeyed words of praise, carefully worded sentences. And she would always fall for it. As much as she thought Jongin wouldn't do it, enough experience told her there's still a chance it may happen.

"Jongin.. Kai... I can't... I don't.. please don't do this. Don't say that, don't say you like me. Say it's a joke. One of your bad jokes. It's not true."

"Why are telling me to stop? And why the are you telling to say it's a joke? It's not. For the love of God wake up Krystal. Not every boy who tells you they like you will break your heart, at least I won't."

"Because I could never return your feelings back Jongin! If you really like me, you would know how I feel. If you know how I feel you wouldn't say this. Just stop it alright. Wait all you want, I've already told you that I can't return it. Let's... Let's get on with the performance." Krystal said coldly and turned away from Jongin so he won't see the tears pooling in her eyes. Jongin held her wrist but she got out of his grip.

Kris and Tao were soon over, and they entered the stage. The music started and they danced in sync. Krystal didn't like the choreography they made. They were always close to each other. To the audience they may seem like they have great chemistry or to the mind of the blinded, 'the perfect couple', but to them they felt awkward and forced. 

Jongin danced as much as he can, ignoring everything else except for his partner, the music and the choreography to keep his mind from replaying what happened earlier. Dance makes his mind ignore everything else so he could actually focus and it's always effective. Why did it decide to become faulty now?

The last beat, the last note of the dubstep was made, and they stopped and took greedy gulps of air. Krystal and Kai reminded themselves that after Tao's wushu performance they would sing, so might as well keep the act. They took a bow and the audience cheered.

"That was so good!" Jessica visited backstage and gave Krystal and Kai hugs. Mrs. Jung followed and smothered them with kisses, asking them to pose for pictures.

"Umma we still have a performance. Save your pictures and hugs and kisses for later okay."

Jessica and Mrs. Jung returned to their seats and Krystal and Jongin changed into more formal clothes. Krystal took a while to emerge from the changing room. She wore an embellished white dress and Jongin wore a fitted white shirt and black trousers. They stepped on the stage once more, holding microphones and the sound of a piano playing filling the room's silence.

Wait, what piano? We're supposed to use a karaoke. And that doesn't sound like Counting Stars. What the heck?, Jongin thought, looking at Krystal for information, who looked back as if she knew nothing. Krystal began singin, afraid her voice would crack,

"You, by the light, is the greatest find

In a world, full of wrong

You're the thing that's right.

Finally made it through the lonely

To the other side~"

"You set it again, my heart's in motion.

Every word feels like a shooting star

I'm at the edge of my emotions

Watching the shadows burning in the dark.

And I~ am in love

And I~ am terrified

For the first time

And the last time

In my only life."

"Sing with me." Krystal mouthed and Jongin racked his brains for the next lines.

"This, could be good

It's already better than the last

And nothing's worse

Than knowing you're holding back.

I could be all that you needed

If you let me try~"

They sang together, both of them pouring they're soul into the song because they can relate with it.

"You set it again, my heart's in motion

Every word feels like a shooting star

I'm at the edge of my emotions

Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I~ am in love

And I~ am terrified

For the first time and the last time

In my only life."

 

"I only said cause I mean it~

I only said it cause it's true

So don't you doubt what you've been dreaming.

Cause it fills me up, and holds me close

Whenever I'm without you."

"You set it again, my heart's in motion

Every word feels like a shooting

I'm at the edge of my emotions

Watching the shadows burning in the dark.

And I~ am in love.

And I~ am terrified.

For the first time, and the last time

I'm my only~ life."

Claps resonated around the room and people started standing and wolf-whistling. Krystal and Jongin bowed and Kris and Tao went up the stage, giving their thanks to everybody that attended and hoped that they raised enough money for the charity. The people slowly left, congratulating all of them for an amazing showcase.

"That was great! Money's probably reached the roof!"

"Amazing!"

"Will you do this next year? Oh I forgot you're already a graduating class."

Jongin made a beeline for the exit, wanting to go home after a physically and emotionally tired but fulfilling day.

I've done and said what I need to do and say.

"Unnie have you seen Jongin somewhere?" Krystal asked Jessica.

"I have, he told me to give this to you. Don't worry I didn't read the letter." Jessica handed Krystal a bouquet of roses and a letter. Krystal turned and opened the letter and read it. It was short, which worried Krystal.

Jung Soojung,

You did great today. People must've only looked at you and ignored me. Just kidding the performace would be nothing without me. And Tao and Kris of course.

About earlier, before we went on stage, know that I'll always be here and I'll wait until you can open your heart to me. Know that I won't be what your past boyfriends were. Know that not everybody is like that. And know that I love you.

P.S - How dare you change the song. We practiced hard for it. But I know the meaning behind the song you chose.

"The princess cried herself to sleep that night."

Jongin ended the story and looked at his daughter, who was fast asleep and her head on Jongin's arm. He gently moved it so that the head would rest on the pillow and tucked her to sleep with a kiss on the forehead.

"Do you want to know what the princess' name is? Her name was Jung Soojung. She liked to be called Krystal. I asked her if I can call her Krystal. She said yes. And I still love her until now."

Behind the door stood Mikhaela, smiling and oblivious to the tear rolling down her cheek.

 

Author's Note - Well that.... that was long. I hope you didn't get bored :S I may be late but Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! How many red packets did you receive?