They were married four months. 

On their wedding day, Jessica dropped her bouquet of light blue roses halfway down the aisle, Krystal quickly following behind her to pick it up off the carpet and hand it back to her older sister, ensuring that she had a tight grip on it. Heechul could see the faint pink blush colour Jessica’s cheeks as she flashed him a small, embarrassed smile. But he didn’t care about his bride’s slight slip-up. He was too focused on her skin; her hair; her dress. Jessica was a beautiful girl, yet right there, right then, Heechul had never seen anyone come close to how beautiful Jessica looked in her wedding dress.

~ * ~ * ~

“Will you marry me?”

Heechul was normally a fairly rational man. So when he bent down on one knee at the top of Namsan tower on the evening of their one-year anniversary, Jessica couldn’t believe what was running through her boyfriend’s head.

“What are you doing?” she asked, widened eyes staring down at the silver ring in Heechul’s hand.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m proposing, pabo,” the elder laughed in response, still grinning  up at the blonde.

Jessica was also normally a pretty rational girl. But when she thought of Heechul and the life she had ahead of her, she found herself buried within her new fiance’s arms, muttering ‘Yes, yes, yes’ against his lips with tears in her eyes.

~ * ~ * ~

They never owned a house together; one that they could call their very own. Instead, sometime after the proposal, Jessica moved into Heechul’s apartment. His old roommate, Siwon, was a highly understanding Christian who simply smiled empathetically and agreed straight away when Heechul asked him to move out. Even after Jessica had moved in, Siwon’s stuff still found presence in the apartment. A photo frame of his family still hung on the wall, his bed still had his dark navy bedsheets, and his wardrobe still held his winter clothing that he didn’t pack to bring with him. Jessica didn’t mind though. She simply smiled at the gorgeous photo of Siwon and his family as she passed it in the hallway, knowing all too well that Siwon wouldn’t be out of the apartment for long.

Sometimes, Jessica would just lie together with Heechul in his bed, cuddled into his side with her hand laced protectively into his, just chatting of her dream house. Ever since she was a little girl, she had always wanted a small house with a large bathroom, and a front lawn where she could plant bushes of blue roses.

“Red roses are a little overdone, don’t you think? Blue is much more soothing anyway,” she would chuckle.

 Heechul smiled at Jessica’s dream, lifting her hand to press a gentle kiss to her fingers as she spoke. There really wasn’t much else he could do.

~ * ~ * ~

Their honeymoon was spent in Hawaii, with warm sand between their toes and clear, sparkling water stretching out far beyond the horizon. Jessica had never liked the beaches in Korea. They weren’t nearly as beautiful as back in California when she was a little girl, but the beaches here were by far her favourite.

For a week, Heechul brought his new wife an array of different fruity alcoholic beverages for her to try. The couple spent most of their honeymoon in the water, either splashing around or simply relaxing, and besides never being able to remember their room number at the hotel, Jessica could honestly say their honeymoon was better than she could have ever asked for.

On the final night before they flew back to Korea, they made love against the soft sand of a secluded beach near the hotel. Jessica almost found herself in tears under Heechul’s ministrations, so gentle, yet so passionate. Her heart fluttered at the sincerity in his eyes and the pure love in his kisses.

~ * ~ * ~

“No matter what happens, you will always be a son to us, Heechul-ssi. We are forever in your debt.”

Mr and Mrs Jung had always loved Heechul. From the first time Jessica introduced her then-boyfriend to her parents, all the way until now.

“You’ll never be indebted to me. I just love your daughter,” Heechul smiled back at Jessica’s parents. “I’d do anything for her.”

~ * ~ * ~

The nightmares started a month into their marriage.

“No! Come back! No! Who are you?!”

Jessica would toss and turn at night, sometimes screaming at the top of her lungs. And besides hugging her closer and her hair with soft words, there wasn’t anything Heechul could do. When Jessica fell into her nightmares, she wouldn’t wake up, no matter what Heechul would try. So instead, he’d quietly hush her and gently rock her body until finally, she would slowly calm down and rest in his arms.

~ * ~ * ~

Jessica had always wanted kids; one boy and one girl.

“If I ever had a daughter, I’d want to name her Scarlett,” she explained one Sunday afternoon, smiling out the window of the apartment.

“Why Scarlett?” Heechul asked with a gentle smile as he wrapped his arms around his wife’s waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“I don’t know,” she chuckled, leaning back into her husband’s chest. “It just sounds beautiful.”

Heechul nodded, closing his eyes with a silent sigh. He didn’t like when Jessica would speak like that. It made his heart ache with a painful longing. He couldn’t give Jessica the beautiful baby girl Scarlett she had always dreamed of. Just the thought of letting his wife down made him sigh, tightening his grip around her waist.

“Do you know what’s even more beautiful though?” he whispered softly into Jessica’s ear.

“No, what?”

“You.”

~ * ~ * ~

Most days, Jessica was pretty optimistic. She hadn’t eaten with chopsticks since eight months into dating Heechul. But despite that, every night before dinner, she’d use her left hand to position a pair of chopsticks into her right, then feebly attempt to pick up her dinner. One night, she actually managed to pick up a couple of noodles for a few moments before dropping them in excitement back into her bowl. Heechul laughed at her, pecking her cheek before giving her a soft hi-five.

But that was a very rare occasion. Usually, Jessica just ate with a fork, and despite dropping it every now and again, it was much easier for her. Almost a month into their marriage, Heechul decided that Jessica was far too fragile to even cut her own food. Jessica was spoilt, but Heechul didn’t mind, and neither did anyone else.

~ * ~ * ~

Sometimes, Heechul would find Jessica sitting against the large window sill of the apartment, silently crying into a balled up fist. After leaving her job three months ago, she rarely had plans, or left the apartment, and the lack of freedom was beginning to drive her insane. And like always, there really wasn’t much Heechul could do.

All that Heechul really could do was engulf his wife into a warm embrace and gently her hair as she cried against his chest. Jessica was fragile, but she never showed it. But watching her seem so delicate, so hurt, Heechul could practically feel his heart tearing at the seams. And it was in those moments, when Jessica would break down into choked sobs, clenching at the fabric of his t-shirt, that even Heechul’s resolve would shatter, and he couldn’t stop his own tears flowing from his eyes.

~ * ~ * ~

The first time Jessica tripped up the stairs to the apartment, Heechul just laughed and called his wife ‘clumsy’.

The second time Jessica tripped up the stairs to the apartment, Heechul helped her up with a chuckle, humming “again?” before ruffling her hair.

By the third time Jessica tripped up the stairs to the apartment, Heechul realised that it was no laughing matter. He quickly grabbed her arm to gently help her stand, carefully and slowly helping her up the stairs.

Before they had even been married two months, Jessica became too weak to climb the stairs at all.

~ * ~ * ~

Three months after their wedding, Jessica collapsed.

~ * ~ * ~

Heechul first found out ten months after he asked Jessica out. His girlfriend was fidgety all throughout their date, so when he confronted her about it as they sat on some dry rocks at the edge of the beach, Jessica broke down in tears.

That was the first time Heechul had ever seen Jessica cry, and it definitely wasn’t the last.

“He said I have a maximum of two years. Most probably less.”

Heechul sat frozen, his eyes unblinking as he watched his girlfriend sob into her own hands, pulling her knees tight against her chest. His mind ran into overdrive, thousands of thoughts flooding his brain as his jaw hung open in disbelief.

Jessica was beautiful. Jessica was intelligent. Jessica was perfect. All-round perfect. But here she was, telling him that he couldn’t have her.

“This will be the last time you see me,” she breathed, wiping tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. 

“No! No way!” Heechul protested, grabbing for the younger’s wrist, locking his grip gently, yet protectively against her skin. “No, I’m not leaving you, Jess. I love you so much.”

“Don’t you see!?” she argued, trying to shake off the brunette’s arm. “I’m not worth it! Whether you wanted to keep me for a lifetime, or whatever, I can’t give you that. I can’t give you anything outside two years!”

“Then let me give you everything before those two years are up.”

Heechul gently wrapped his arms over Jessica’s shoulders, pulling her into a comforting hug.

“I’m not worth it, Heechul. I can’t give you anything,” she whispered, letting her tears soak into the shoulder of her boyfriend’s shirt.

“Don’t be silly, Jess,” Heechul hushed, his fingers through the younger’s soft blonde hair. “You’re worth everything in this world. Just love me like you have, Jess, and I’ll give you my everything. We can always pray for a miracle.”

~ * ~ * ~

That miracle never came.

Brain cancer. Affecting two areas: the frontal lobe and the brainstem, spreading quickly to the medulla.

It had barely been six months since she had been diagnosed. She wasn’t going to reach the two years she had hoped for.

After Jessica collapsed, the doctors gave her a month at most before the cancer spread to the medulla, shutting down control over her heart and lungs. Her motor skills and basic movement had already degraded greatly, and her nightmares were becoming more frequent. The doctors said that once Jessica woke up, her five senses would deteriorate, her movement would become even more impaired and she would start to recognise the physical pain she was in.

Brain cancer. Leaving Jessica as good as dead.

~ * ~ * ~

For two days, Heechul never once left the hospital. He sat by Jessica’s side, lacing her fingers gently between his own, just staring, watching, hoping for her to wake up. Mr and Mrs Jung insisted that he go back home, shower, eat, sleep, do something that didn’t have him holed up between white walls and medical speak. But Heechul refused. He was not going to leave until Jessica woke up.

It was in the forty-seventh hour after Jessica collapsed that Heechul felt a tiny squeeze on his hand. Mr and