It took Seunghyun a month to realize what he lost. Whenever he would come home to his frigid house, he would be reminded of the laughter and the warmth the welcomed him home every night. At first, he thought that Dara would come to their senses and come back to their home. He was positive that he wasn't the only one feeling the void in his chest. In many ways, he believed that no matter what he does, his family would always be by his side. He thought that their bond was stronger than any mistake he ever made. That no matter the indiscretion, he would be forgiven because he is loved. 

Three months after they left, Seunghyun realized that they were not coming back. They were not coming back unless he took action. He asked around; family, friends, even a private investigator but none of them would bring him good news. They were not coming back to him and they didn't want to be found. It struck him that maybe his faults were bigger than he thought. Maybe it was unforgivable enough for them to vanish from his life. That maybe he hurt them enough to negate their love for him. He lost the love of the only people that mattered because of his insecurities and it freaking hurt. He broke down again, for the third time since they left. He was plagued with the gnawing pain knowing that he's to blame for his own misery. That he dug his own grave and now he must lay in it. Dara's question lingers in his brain "Was it worth your manly pride?" Now he can honestly say that it's not, nothing is worth more than the love of his family, more than Dara's affection and the kids' respect. He was stupid to think that his activities on the side, although accepted by some of his friends, would not be ok with his family. He was naive to think that if he apologized, everything would come back to the way it was. Or maybe he had the chance but he blew it when he reverted to his philandering ways. He was stupid to think that "it's only cheating if you get caught" and even after being caught, he still believed he did nothing irreparable. 

Six months since he last saw his family, he received the biggest blow. In a manila envelope were the divorce papers Dara has signed. Enclosed is a letter from his son pleading him to just sign the papers. They wouldn't want for it to reach to court. He appealed to his rational, businessman side saying it would not be good for the company if it ends up messy. He appealed to his conscience "if you still have one," his mother and sister would not survive a messy divorce. They've barely returned to being functional and subjecting them to such stress would only wear on their fragile dispositions. He appealed to his fatherly instincts, asking him that if he still feels the tiniest bit of respect and love for him and his sister, he would just let them go. Nobody is happy with a divorce but it can be a beginning to a new future. A future for the twins and Dara without Seunghyun. It was made clear that regardless of his decision, Seunghyun has already lost them. Signing the papers freely would only maintain the slightest bit of respect they have left of him as a father. He signs the papers. The divorce is final. His mistake, if he can still call it that, will characterize his entire being as a father and husband. It hurts because he knows that he was better than that mistake. He was a faithful husband, one that gave up many things to be with the love of his life. He was a doting father, one that would leave work early because his daughter misses him. He wonders at which point did he go astray? What made him unsatisfied with what he has, when he clearly had everything worth having? Why wasn't he proud of having the perfect wife and loving children? Did having a successful wife make him less of a man? Wasn't it his infidelity that made him less manly? He was so stupid and now he's paying the price. 

A year in, he was a completely different man. He stopped seeing women as women when his family left him but it was only a year after when he completely wrote them off his life. He would not even spare a glance at the bodacious women flirting with him. If only he lived like this when his family was still his. Friends would set him up on dates but they were never Dara, not his first love. His family insists on having him remarried but he strongly declined. He's already old, he doesn't need to start a new family. He already had one, he took them for granted. He's not ready to make one and lose them all again. He's learned his lesson; painfully and regretfully. 

Two years since, he received the biggest birthday present in his life. Sara was in his office, more mature but also more beautiful than ever. She looked more like her mother now, only taller and seemingly stronger than her. She carried herself with confidence her mother never had outside the operating room. She walked up to him and shook his hands, no hugs or kisses but he would took it like it was heaven's gift, and maybe it was. His princess is back in his life, maybe not for good but he's happy just to know she's well. The last Seunghyun heard of her state was from Jaehyun's letter and it worried him immensely. She told him she's back in Korea for university and that she just stopped by to say hi. It was enough for him. He felt like a part of his shattered life was put back together. When he asked about Jaehyun, Sara just told him that he's studying pre-med, just like his mother. She wouldn't tell him where he's studying or if he's with Dara. When Seunghyun asked about Dara, no answer was given. Dara was off limits, Sara said. If he wants to keep in contact with Sara, he cannot meddle in her life nor in Dara's and Jaehyun's. Even if Sara was cold towards him, he still felt happy. She came to him on his own, that's what mattered. Sara would show up randomly, eat lunch with him and share stories about school when asked. She never mentions anything personal, nothing about dating or her mood. She only answers questions directed at her, never sharing more than necessary. But still, it was more than enough for Seunghyun. She would refuse gifts Seunghyun would give her, no matter if it's big or small. She would not accept the new condominium unit or even the dress she bough for her. She would just thank him for the thought and refuse the gift. Still, Seunghyun didn't falter. This is enough, Seunghyun thinks. His Sara is back, even if she's different. Even if she's aloof, she's physically here. 

A year after Sara's return, Seunghyun got the biggest shock of his life. He bumped into Sara at her school fair. Of course that would not be shocking, he went there to meet her after all. But what surprised him was Sara's companion. She looked older, more white hair was on her head and wrinkles on her face but she was still beautiful. Dara was still stunning, even after all he put her through. She still had that light in her eyes when she smiles, God he missed those eyes. Without knowing it, he was already hugging a stunned Dara in his arms. Her frail arms hanging at her side, for a moment Seunghyun thought he was in heaven. This is what it felt like to hold someone you love, he fondly remembers. This is what it felt like to have your world spinning and staying still at the same time. This is what he's been missing. His happiness was short-lived, however when stronger hands pried him off the woman he loves. That's when he noticed that Jaehyun was also there, furious at his actions. Dara still stood there, motionless and for a while he thought he broke her...maybe he really did. Before Jaehyun could speak his unspeakable thoughts, Dara grabbed him by the arms as if telling him to calm down. "It was nice seeing you, Seunghyun" Dara says flatly. The spark in her eyes were no longer there, replaced by tension and apprehension. "I missed you," Seunghyun says and he saw something flicker in Dara's eyes. That's when he knows he stepped out of line. He apologizes for his actions, looked to Sara and wished her all the best for her performance. Sara doesn't ask him to stay. He finds out that Dara has been back in Korea for more than a year, before Sara showed up in front of him. Jaehyun was just visiting, checking if his mother and sister are still okay.

After that day, Sara has been less aloof. The secret's out and she doesn't have to worry about revealing her mother's whereabouts and Jaehyun losing his when he finds out. She explains that the separation was hardest on Jaehyun because he had to be the strong one; the one that had to keep it together or else everything else will fall apart. He was the one whom they relied upon when even he was in as much pain as they were. He had to be strong even if he also felt like he wanted to breakdown. It was a year after they left that they realized their selfishness and allowed him his time to breakdown. He only allowed himself one day to cry and returned to being the strong Jaehyun that they needed. Jaehyun, to them, was what Seunghyun should've been; their pillar of strength and mold to keep them together. Jaehyun was responsible beyond his years and steadfast in his role as the new head of the family, even if he wasn't ready. Seunghyun felt more guilt towards his son, he felt like he stole his childhood. During the time he should have been fooling around with his friends, he was taking care of his emotionally wrecked sister and mother. He understands why his son hates him so much, and he tells that to Sara. To which she only answers that Jaehyun doesn't hate him anymore. He's just worried about them getting hurt again. Jaehyun was angry at him but never hated him. He was the one that reminded Sara of everything he did as a father for her, for both of them. If it weren't for Jaehyun, Sara would still be blinded by the pain and hate Seunghyun. Jaehyun knows how much Sara loves their father, and so does he. He knows that if they continue on hating him, they are hating a part of themselves because no matter what, he was (for the most part) a good father to them. He was scared when they accidentally saw Seunghyun at the University. He was scared that any improvement Dara might have would just shatter to pieces once she sees Seunghyun. He doesn't want to see her broken again, he wouldn't be able to survive it. 

Months have passed and Seunghyun respected the distance that was granted to him. As long as he knows they are safe and healthy, he was happy. Sara was getting closer to him now, not like before but he's not complaining. She visits him at home, now a cozy villa near the office. He couldn't keep their home, it was too painful coming back to a large empty space when it housed all those family memories. He felt like he was intruding on somebody else's home because everything felt so distant at the time. One day, Sara visits him as a surprise. She brought cake with her and was genuinely happy. She wanted to celebrate, she said and Seunghyun was more than willing to celebrate with her. Without telling him what they were celebrating, he sliced the cake and gave her a cup of coffee (because he's still not comfortable seeing his daughter drink wine). They were just talking catching up with each other, it feels like everything will be alright. Seunghyun felt like celebrating more than Sara, even if he doesn't know what his little girl is celebrating. Sara's phone rang, her ride is there and she had to go. Seunghyun accompanied her to the gate and was surprised to see Dara behind the steering wheel. "Good night, Seunghyun," she said and all Seunghyun could utter was a stuttering "G-good n-night." That night, Seunghyun slept with a smile on his face for the first time in years. A simple "good night" from Dara made him feel better. Maybe, just maybe, he was already forgiven.  

A few more months have passed and they were lying on the grass, enjoying the sunlight while talking about everything and anything. Sara visited him everyday and their relationship has vastly improved. Jiyong was there too, making fun of Seunghyun for behaving like a kid. Old people like them don't lie down on grass anymore, he says. But Seunghyun doesn't mind. He hasn't been this relaxed in years. 

"So Sara, dating anyone these days?" Jiyong playfully asks the young lady.

"Nope, there are no good men out there." She answers without batting an eyelash.

"I beg to disagree! I am here, my darling." Jiyong volunteers.

"Ewww gross, UNCLE Jiyong. No thanks, I do not want to be the mother of your 4th 'first' child." Sara jibes, she knows Jiyong is only kidding.

"tsk. Just like your mother." Jiyong laughs

"What?!" Seunghyun and Sara exclaim. "Explain yourself!" Seunghyun murderously tells him. 

"Calm your . It was when we were in middle school, I asked her out and she just said 'eww Jiyong!' Just like your daughter over here."He playfully hugs Sara then turned serious again. "She never saw any of the boys as men. She only had eyes for you. She even went as far as to tell some of us that she only sees us as future patients." Jiyong shrugs, it was a thing of the past for him. Yes, he did love Dara and thought that she was perfect but he also knew that he wasn't the one for her. 

"I really blew it, didn't I? I had the perfect woman..." Seunghyun says, not really directing the statement to either of his companions. "Do you think it's too late for us to start again? I still love her and I have changed, I promise I have!" Seunghyun turned to Sara, eyes pleading. 

"I'm sorry papa, but I can't see that happening anymore. I actually never hoped for the two of you to be back together. Mama's just started living her life again, I can't let you ruin things for her a third time." Sara saw Seunghyun's confusion "You broke her first when she found you cheating, she gave you another chance but you blew it. You broke her the second time when we caught you cheating again. Even if you have changed, we have also changed. We're not the family you used to have. We're moving on, you should too."

"But can't we move on together?"

"we're fine as it is. Aren't you happy right now? Because Mama, Jaehyun and I are happy already." Dara's went back to being a surgeon, with new foundations to help with patients with financial difficulties. She also stepped up as a lecturer in various med schools in Seoul. She would've taught in Boston but she insisted on coming back home. She was ready to be back, to chance upon seeing her ex. She knows she's stronger now, she wouldn't let Jaehyun worry about her anymore. Jaehyun stayed in Boston, following in his mother's footsteps. Unlike Dara, Jaehyun has his sights on Cardiology.

It hurt knowing that your family can be happy without you but who can blame them? He was the reason why he's alone right now. Sara caught his forlorn expression and hugged him. For the first time since she returned, she hugged him and Seunghyun let the tears fall. 

"You're allowed to be happy without us, Papa. We are not angry at you anymore, not even mama. You know what she told me? She told me that she doesn't regret loving you because the best years of her life were because of you. Because of you, she has us. Because of you, she was able to fulfill her dream of becoming a doctor. You supported her through tough times and inspired her to do great things. Papa, it is unfortunate that your love ended the way it did. But you can't continue on living in the past. We're not together anymore but it doesn't mean that we're not family. We will always be a family, not just in the way that you want. You have to work on your own happiness now because we found ours." 

It's evident that he can't have his family the way it was before, but maybe Sara is right. Maybe, in the future, he can have his family back just in different circumstances. Dara is not his wife anymore, and will never be his again but it doesn't change the fact that they have loved each other for the most part of their lives. What they shared together was real and was beautiful. He knows he should never forget his mistakes but it also doesn't mean he can't move on. Seeing his daughter now, hugging her and hearing her, he knows that his greatest mistake shouldn't define him. Even if it defined the greatest change in his life, his mistake should not run his new life. He has changed since then and he shall continue until he has found his happiness. 

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A/N: alright, so here it is. I was supposed to upload it last night but I got slightly injured while playing softball. That is why it is important to stay at home, in front of your computer. you do not get injured while typing merrily on your keyboard! LOL

Anyway, so this is the last chapter for this story. I hope it doesn't . Comments and feedback are very much appreciated. Thank you for bearing with me.