‘.....’ = thought

“.....” = talk

This is from Eric’s point of view.

It’s been a long time since I tidied up my apartment, the dust has piled up in some parts of the room and really need to be cleaned, so I change my clothes to my old comfortable clothes and start to clean the room. When I am wiping the dust on my bookshelves, a book falls, it is my photo album, I crouch down to take a look at it and flip the cover, there are many photographs inside the album. Not too far from my position, I see a piece of paper lying on the floor.

Summer

When you tapped my shoulder

Summer

The first time we got to know each other

Summer

We became closer

Summer

Our friends threw graduation party

And it was summer

When you decided to leave me

How can I not remember? My most unforgettable journey of three years in high school were written in this piece of paper, a lot of moments were depicted as photographs in this album. I take a photograph from one of the page, stare at it, I can easily say this one contains my most treasured moment, a photograph of two high school boys, of me and my friend.

“Friend...” how I really hate the word ‘friend’ if it relates to him, the one in the photograph beside me. I keep staring at the photograph meanwhile my mind is wandering back to the past.

Flashback

Our first meeting was when I was in a hurry to go to my physics class, the bell had rung and I really had to go to the class quickly, because the teacher usually came to the class as soon as the bell rang. When I made a mess in my locker just to get the book, you approached me and tapped on my shoulder.

“Excuse me, do you know where the administrative room is?”

For a moment, my mind was blank when I saw you. You were tall although I was taller, slender, fair skin, and your face was definitely too beautiful for  a man, you sported a ponytail that somehow perfectly framed your face.

I knew you were not from this school, because I knew most of the students and you were definitely not one of them, I have never seen such a beauty like you.

“Gorgeous....” I let the word out of my lips unconsciously.

“Sorry?” it was a relief that you didn't hear what I had said before, otherwise it would be very embarrassing. Then, I just realized that a danger was waiting for me.

“Ah, the top floor,” answered me shortly.

‘I’m sorry, I really have to go, I would gladly take you to the administrative room if I don’t have life and death matter waiting for me.’

After giving the pretty stranger a not-so-helping answer, I literally sprinting to my class, little did I knew you looked at me with a questioning stare at my antic.

 ‘I’m sorry pretty one. If I late again, that scary teacher won’t hesitate to give me an E on the damn subject.’

I let out a relief sigh as I opened the class door and still no sight of that teacher in class. I went to my chair and slumped my body immediately, managed my breaths that coming in short pants after running down the long corridor and climbing up the stairs to reach this class, that was very tiring, and I still had to prepare my brain for a long torture of formulas. Physics had never been my favorite.

Five minutes, ten minutes, had passed, and the teacher hadn't come yet. I wondered why because she always came in less than five minutes, well I didn't want to think about it, I could rest for a while. I placed my head on my desk and closed my eyes, but the activity was cut when the door was being opened, I quickly straightened my back just in case if the one coming was the physics teacher.

But no, the one who opened the door was my homeroom teacher, and behind him, there was a guy trailing quietly. When I saw the guy, I thought I had seen him somewhere.

‘Ah!! He was the pretty stranger I met at the locker room! The one who asked the location of administrative room.’

“Attention class, we are having a new student. Please introduce yourself.” my homeroom teacher asked him.

“Good morning, my name is Shin Hyesung. Starting today I will be your classmate, nice to meet you,” you gave a small smile and I could hear other students murmuring to each other, one thing I could catch from them was that you were so pretty, I bet you would be popular in no time.

“Class, please help him if he has any problem. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

‘Ah... so the name is Shin Hyesung. Hyesung, I love the way it rolls out of my tongue.’

A week with Hyesung as a new student had passed, the news circulating fast, and my prediction about him being popular in no time was right. Many students had confessed their feeling for him in just a week, even I saw some guys confessed that they were attracted to Hyesung blatantly. Well, who wouldn't? With that angelic face, he attracted many people. But, all the confessions he had received always being turned down by him. No one hated him though, he turned them down with a sorry plus his angelic smile as a bonus.

I had never interacted with him so far, when break was coming, he was swallowed by so many girls and I went straight to the cafeteria with friends. Looking at the crowd, I pitied him because he seemed so lost and awkward, didn't know what to do.

“He is so cute, looks like a lost prince, kekeke~” Minwoo just laughing beside me, then he approached Hyesung’s desk.

“Sorry ladies, I think your prince here is hungry but he doesn't have the heart to leave you all, so please, let him enjoy his break, okay?” with a wink and his trademark eye smile, Minwoo successfully peeled the girls off of Hyesung’s side.

“Nah, now you are free from those girls, why don’t we go to the cafeteria together. By the way, I am Lee Minwoo, this guy next to me is Eric Mun.”

“Is that... okay?” he was so cute being all shy because of Minwoo’s invitation.

“Of course, or do you prefer to eat alone?” I added, I was not serious, just to .

He blushed, “No! uuh... if you don’t mind...”

“Not at all, we will introduce you to the others too.”

“Thank you, Minwoo-ssi, Eric-ssi,” giving a small shy smile making those cheeks puffier, he had a small face but his cheeks was kind of chubby and looked so soft, I really wanted to caress those cheeks.

“You are so cute Hyesungie~” Well, Minwoo was the one who said this, he also hugged Hyesung and pinched those chubby cheeks. Minwoo had taken out all the words in my mind, and I would like to assume his actions toward Hyesung also represented my desire.

Hyesung was taken aback by Minwoo’s actions, however he just chuckled lightly and let Minwoo hug him. Would he let me do the same to him?

We had arrived and waited for the others, while waiting, Minwoo and Hyesung chatted with each other, and sometimes I threw one of two sentences into their conversation. We had decided to drop the formalities with Minwoo calling Hyesung as ‘Hyesungie’.

Dongwan, Junjin, and Andy came, Minwoo decided to order food with them first leaving me with Hyesung. As soon as they left, awkwardness filled the air, I wasn't a talkative person and it seemed Hyesung too.

“Where do you live, Hyesung-ah?” I initiated a conversation with him.

“I live in Seongsu, apartment XX.”

“Really? That means we are neighbor then! I live in the same apartment but the other building.” I had to admit that I was lucky, because that meant we could see each other more often and maybe went to school together. I couldn't help but grinning at the thought.

In that short time, I found out that Hyesung liked gaming, singing, and sometimes cooking. He had a little brother, and he moved here because of his father’s job. At first he was afraid of having no friends because of his timid personality and that he was teased by his classmate in former school because of his appearance. When he moved here, he was overwhelmed by the attention given by other students and was glad because Minwoo and I approached him first. Well, I was glad I could know him better.

“Guys, this is Hyesung. Hyesung-ah, the tallest one is Park Junjin, the one having wrinkles around the eyes is Kim Dongwan, and the last one is Andy Lee,” I introduced the guys to Hyesung, Hyesung tried to hold his laugh when I introduced Dongwan, and Dongwan gave me a hard nudge to my stomach by his elbow.

“Hello guys, I am Shin Hyesung,” and so on. Hyesung seemed like he was very fond of Junjin and Andy, and Minwoo and Dongwan couldn't stop adoring Hyesung’s beautiful face.

We chatted while enjoying lunch, from that I knew that Hyesung’s classes and my classes are all same, I was elated, it gave me more reasons to get closer to Hyesung. I did come over to his house often, usually to do homework together, Hyesung was really smart and helped me a lot on my studies.

Our first summer holiday in high school came, we were always playing with each other or us six playing somewhere, and sometimes having a sleepover at one of our house. We definitely become closer during the holiday, I got to know you better, you were quite a perfectionist, you were very good at singing and had a heavenly voice, and you actually liked to nag at us. You being a self-proclaimed mama bird to Junjin, and there were many other sides of you that we discovered during the holiday. After the holiday, us six confidently called ourselves the best of friends.

When we had another summer holiday on the second year of high school, we planned on having a trip together, just the two of us. We visited many places, enjoying good food together, enjoying sunrise and sunset, I had the honor of being the first person to hear you singing, and that time, I realized that I had a different feeling for you. But, I was confused and decided not to talk about it because I couldn't decide what kind of feeling that was, we took a lot of photographs, and of course bought things for our friends. Our holiday was one of the best moments in my life.

The guys realized that we were becoming closer and closer, they suspected that I had something going on with you and they asked me about it, but I always declined because there was nothing between us. After sometime though, I figured out that my feeling for you was more than just a friendly feeling, I like you, and that feeling was getting stronger, day by day. Little did I knew that your treatments toward me were different, it wasn't motherly like you did to Junjin and Andy, it wasn't like what you did to Minwoo and Dongwan too. But I didn't dare to confess my feeling to you, I was afraid of rejection and afraid of ruining our friendship.

Third year passed like a breeze, we were putting our best efforts so we could have a good score and continued our education one step further. I always kept my feeling in check, afraid it would burst out. We all passed third year with good scores, heck, you were even the best graduate. The kids threw a party, to celebrate our graduation they said, that was when you decided to break the news.

“Guys, I’m leaving.”

“What? The party haven’t finished Hyesungie~ Why are you leaving?” all of us were confused with your statement. You had no choice but to repeat your statement and with more information.

“I’m leaving. I’m leaving Korea, in three days.”

Silence enveloped us, the news was so sudden and I know the others felt the same.

“Why so sudden?” Junjin asked.

“My father is moved to manage one of the company’s branch overseas.”

“How long?”

“... I don’t know.”

“We still can keep in touch with each other right, Hyesungie?” this time Minwoo asked.

“I... I’ll try...” answered Hyesung with slight hesitation.

The party had finished, the guys went home but before that we agreed to spend the next two days together and let Hyesung rest on his last day in Korea, I went home with Hyesung, because I brought him to the party. On the way home, none of us said anything, I had lots of things running around in my mind and you were keeping your eyes on the scenery outside the window. I still couldn't get over the fact that you would be leaving in three days. In no time, we reached our house, I let out a dejected sigh, and you stared at me but I could not define what was behind your stare.

“Hyesung-ah.”

“Yes?”

“Do you mind to spend your last... the third day with me?”

Silence.

“...I don’t mind, Eric.”

The six of us spent the next two days crazily, forgetting that you have to leave the next midnight for a moment, we were determined to make these days to be one of your best moments, so you wouldn't forget us later. We all went all out in making memories these two days. On the second day, we gave you a photo album filled with our photographs as a memento.

On the last day, I picked you up on your apartment quite early in the morning. I decided to bring you to the beach we had visited on summer holiday when we were on the second year of high school, the difference was we took train that time but I drove a car to spend the last day, it was intentional so I could spend time with you in private and I also drove the car at medium speed intentionally. At noon, we had lunch at restaurant nearby, we almost reached the destination, but we took our time at the restaurant, chatting over what we had done in the past 3 years, recalling every moments, fun times, sad times, all of those moments were precious, but none of us mentioned about our different affections for each other.

After some time, we continued our travel. We reached the beach shortly, after parking the car, we went straight to the water and playing like kids. Other visitors looked at us weirdly, the had to be thinking why two perfectly grown up men splashing water at each other like kids, but I didn't care, I didn't want to care. All I could think that time was you, only you, and the time left for us.

We were tired of playing so we agreed to grab a drink at the cafe stationed in the beach. We sat there enjoying the scenery, in about an hour the sun would set, that was my real motive for bringing you here, to watch sunset with you for the last time, and I knew you had known my real motive as you didn't ask me and followed everything I had set up for you. We spent the time in a comfortable silence, admiring the reddish orange glow emitted from the sun, we were immersed in our own thought, trying to guess what we had in each other’s mind and heart.

I turned to face you, admiring the glow that graced you beautiful face. Eventually the glow had gone, the night had come, signifying that our time had also come to an end. However, none of us moved.

“Let’s go Hyesung-ah, you have to catch your flight in a couple of hours.” I stood up and looked back to him.

“Eric-ah...”

What was that look? Did I see sadness?

“Eric-ah..., do you have anything to say?”

What were you thinking Hyesung-ah? Was that a desperation in your voice?

“Do you really have nothing more to say to me, Eric?”

‘I love you, Shin Hyesung.’

‘I love you, so much, that it hurts.’

“No I don’t. Let’s go or you’ll be late.”

What do I say, we didn't have to play no games

I should’ve took that chance, I should’ve asked for you to stay

And it gets me down the unsaid words that still remain

The story ended without even starting

I drove my car in a fast speed, for fear of him being late for his flight, and to part with him quickly. I knew it hurt me, and from his look in the beach, I knew he was hurting too. If I had known our affection for each other were mutual, that our feelings were mutual. If only our long-time hidden secrets were revealed, I would hold him in my arms. But, I decided to keep my mouth shut.

“We have reached your house Hyesung-ah,” you looked like you were unwilling to get into your apartment building.

“Thank you Eric. Thank you for everything.”

“You are welcome, Hyesung-ah.”

“Thanks for being... for being my best friend,” he let out a painful smile.

“Don’t mention it,” and I was sure I didn't give him a genuine smile either.

He turned his body and got into the building, I stared at his back as he made his way to the elevator.

“Please..., don’t mention that word,” I whispered to the emptiness.

“Tsk..., friend...” I still feel bitter whenever I recall him saying that word to me, I put the photograph back into the album, and close it.

The friend label is a label that I got to hate

The feelings I’ve hidden still remain as a painful secret memory

The photos that can’t define our relationship is a heartbreaking story

I’m sorry, summer, now goodbye

A.N. I actually have a mixed feeling about this oneshot, it's like what I have imagined but it isn't up to my expectation, the pace is too fast, it’s kind of rushed toward the end, and I don't think I succeed bringing out the feeling in this story. I didn't know what else to be written OTL

All of these happened in summer as written in ‘a piece of paper’ at the beginning. I got the idea for this fic after listening to f(x)-Goodbye Summer, hence I use the same title because I’m bad at choosing title, I also included some lines into this fic.

Thank you very much for reading, leaving a comment, even subscribing when this fic wasn't even finished *\^o^/* and once again I’m sorry if this one isn't’t up to your expectation *deep bow*