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Soojung already feels out of place and now, there seems to be no use of her existence. Her hands are clenched in fists, hidden by her sleeves as she sits at the window, absorbing everything that is going on in the oversized hospital room. She feels a comforting hand from both Rihyang and Chanyeol and it eases her a bit, knowing she has some support.

She can’t bring herself to look up at Jongin. She doesn’t want to see him look at another woman the way he should be looking at her. Now, she is too fragile to witness such a sight. What upsets her the most is just a few months ago, Jongin had just introduced her to Ariyoung as his girlfriend when they coincidentally met at the Han River. How does she have the audacity to sit here and act as though Soojung isn’t watching or aware?

“Have you met Ariyoung, Soojung?” Jongin asks brightly, brighter than he has been ever since waking up.

“Yes,” Soojung replies sharply with a bitter aftertaste.

Jongin is taken back but only for a split second as his mother speaks up to distract him.

“Son, why don’t you and Ari go take a walk. You must be feeling so stuffy,” she tells him and of course, he agrees since he’ll be spending some alone time with “the love of his life.”

Everyone is silent until Jongin and Ariyoung leaves the room with Jongin’s mother turning to the three of them the second after the door closes, mostly concentrating on Soojung.

“As you all can tell, my son is happy right now,” she begins. “I would appreciate it if you all would not ruin it. He is happy now.”

Soojung wants to refute but will it even matter since Jongin is happy.

“Why are you doing this to your son?” Chanyeol asks, brows furrowed. “Why are you trying so hard to erase the life he had that didn’t involve your manipulative control?”

Rihyang and Soojung turn to Chanyeol at once, surprised at his calm attack. Chanyeol is never rude so for him to speak up so bluntly, he must really be fed up.

“How dare you say that?” Jongin’s mother snaps at Chanyeol who has no response.

“Eventually he will remember,” Chanyeol assures strongly, standing up to his show off his impressive height but he keeps his distance though from Jongin’s mother. “Eventually he will remember how unhappy he is, trying to please you and his father. He will remember what he truly loves best and how he had the courage to run from your hold. Jongin was not one bit miserable after you. If you think he is truly happy now then you are blind.”

“Oppa,” Soojung hisses, standing up to stop him from furthering on. “Enough.”

Chanyeol heaves a sigh and turns to Rihyang. “Come on, we’re leaving.”

He pushes Soojung gently towards the door first before motioning for Rihyang while Jongin’s mother watching with heated eyes boring holes into each of their heads as they start for the door.

“Oh and by the way,” Chanyeol stops just as he’s about to close the door behind them. “Your little angelic Ariyoung ing cheated on your son.”

He doesn’t spare another second to catch her reaction and pulls the door to a close. Chanyeol doesn’t utter a word to the girls and storms down the hall with Rihyang and Soojung following behind. Soojung didn’t know Ariyoung cheated on Jongin because Jongin never told her nor did anyone else which further explains why he was so afraid to love before her. Anger boils inside her, making Soojung want to tear down his hospital and slap the girl across the face for being such a foolish human being.

“You shouldn’t allow her to treat you like that,” Chanyeol tells Soojung during the tense car ride home. She notices how hard his grip is on the stick shift despite Rihyang’s attempt to calm him down by placing her own hand on top of his. “I can’t believe she actually went that far. Urgh, it just frustrates me!”

“How do you expect me to respond to all of this,” Soojung mutters, throwing her head back and ready to throw the white flag. “He doesn’t remember me, period. I told him I’m actually his girlfriend and he basically laughed in my face.”

Chanyeol half sighs half grunts. “I’m just sorry you have to go through all this,” he shakes his head with the pain eating him up as well. “I’m so sorry, Sis.”

“Don’t be,” Soojung sighs quietly. “I probably deserve this.”

All her life she’s never done anything bad, before Jongin she was the most obedient girl you could ever find. She was that daughter everyone’s mother compared theirs to. With the help of Jongin, she simply discovered the adventurous side of her. What could she have possibly have done to deserve this?

“Don’t be a fool, Soojung,” Chanyeol heaves a sigh. “I’m pretty sure you’ve been hearing this on the daily but we are here. You won’t be going through this alone. We’ll never allow it.”

She hears it so much, she almost takes it for granted. “Thank you guys, seriously.”

Once back in the bittersweet comfort of their shared apartment, Soojung decides to sink down into the warm couches and relax. She’s been in so much emotional pain recently that everything just goes numb. Never once did she ever think the phrase of running out of tears could ever relate to her. It’s not that she wants to cry but there needs to be some sort of release.

Leo nudges her with his nose and breaks her free out of her thoughts as she turns to the fastly growing pup. Sighing, she sits up and takes his small face into her hands.

“I think we could both use a long walk,” she says, a smile tugging at her lips.

Soojung likes winter because people are always in a hurry and no one really bothers to pay attention to you. She dons a dark navy tracksuit that is hidden underneath her North Face jacket with her hoodie covering her eyes. Leo is excited to be outside and Soojung just wishes she could match the puppy’s excitement because she’s just plain tired of being sad.

They walk around the nearby park which is fairly empty with everything covered in snow but who knows for how long, knowing Spring is already nearing. Despite the efforts to clear her mind, her heart stays heavy. Soojung wonders what Jongin is doing with Ariyoung and if she’s still at the hospital with him. Through the thick padding of her jacket, she senses the vibration of her phone and predicts it’s one of the boys calling her about Ariyoung and although she wants to ignore the call, she could really use some company.

“Oh, Oppa,” Soojung answers through a sigh.

“Judging from the sound of your voice,” Minseok begins slowly. “I’m taking you already found out.”

“I didn’t really find out,” Soojung clarifies with Leo now dragging her through the heavily salted trails. “I walked in and saw her there. Are you at the hospital now?”

Minseok throws a secretive glance over his shoulder towards Jongin who is still googling over Ariyoung while Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Jongdae are sighing beside his bed. “Yeah. Why did you leave? You should be here trying to get things straight.”

“I want to,” Soojung sighs, feeling the cold sting her face as a chilly breeze blows by. “I really want to. I just need time to myself for now. Mentally, emotionally, I’m exhausted.”

“Well then,” Minseok shrugs. “Come beat her up since you’re not physically exhausted.”

Soojung laughs for the first time in a while and Minseok joins her. “How can I do that at a hospital?”

“Oh speaking of that,” he turns serious again. “He’s getting discharged in two days.”

Soojung’s heart drops and she freezes in spot, unable to move or utter a single word.

“I think you two really need to talk,” Minseok says.

Leo’s walk gets cut short but he doesn’t seem to mind. On the way up, Soojung grabs the mail that she’s been neglecting for a few days and notices two identical packets, one for her and one for Jongin. She doesn’t open her package until she’s back in their apartment and sets Jongin’s on the countertop. A gasp escape her lips once the files are pulled out, revealing the details of their study abroad trip to London. Because of the recent events, Soojung has forgotten everything about it and with the Spring semester quickly approaching, she should be basically all packed and ready to go by now because they’re scheduled to leave next week. Her eyes divert to Jongin’s on the counter and her heart drops. They were supposed to go together and study along with introduce Jongin to her father. She heaves another sigh and leans her head back until it touches the wall. It feels as if the whole world is just sitting on her chest, suffocating her more and more.

That night she had a nightmare.

She dreamt of him playing with her locks as she rested her head on his lap during their movie nights. His eyes gleamed a soft brown and they sparkled when he smiled and his laughter warmed her heart like how the fire warms up cold Christmas nights. She felt his touch, his kisses and her hairs raise when his breath skims her skin from his whispers that promise an everlasting love. He held her to sleep in his arms and she woke up to him twirling a strand of her hair in his finger, his usual habit.

Only it was all a dream.

Instead she wakes up to an empty bedside, untouched and cold. There’s no twirling of her hair and meeting of soft brown eyes. Just an empty bedside and silence. She feels a trail of wetness traveling down her face to drip onto the pillow below. He felt s