PLEASE TELL ME IF I HAVE TYPOS!!     -for those people that never read author's notes 

iii / iii

There is tension. So much tension. Chanyeol can hardly breathe there is so much tension. He has never felt so pressured in his life.

     “What,” he says, and he can almost hear the ice cracking dangerously. “What are you doing here?”

     “I . . .” Kyungsoo shifts his feet on Chanyeol’s doormat, tugging on the hem of his shirt. All of this is terribly awkward and terribly giving Chanyeol a terrible headache.

     “Jongin’s not here,” Chanyeol supplies (un)helpfully. “He--”

     “I ed up,” Kyungsoo blurts, looking up at Chanyeol with wide eyes. “I completely, absolutely ed up, and tell Jongin if you want, because I deserve it. I am an and I--”

     “What are you even talking about?” Play dumb. Play dumb. You and Jongin never went out that Saturday night and Sehun never told you anything. “What . . . does this have to do with me?”

     Kyungsoo opens and closes his mouth, unsure of what to say. Chanyeol can feel his resistance slowly crumbling under that shocked, pressing gaze and takes a tiny step back. What the is even going on. He doesn’t even know. What to do. Pray, pray, pray for something to save your unfortunate —

     “Hey, what’s go- . . . Kyungsoo?”

     Kyungsoo freezes.

     Chanyeol turns.

     Sehun gapes at them both.

     Chanyeol clears his throat and closes Sehun’s mouth for him, and Sehun flushes a bright pink. “Oh, um, Kyungsoo,” he says.

     Jongin’s boyfriend gives Chanyeol a disinterested look and says monotonously, “Sehun and I need to talk. Don’t we?”

     Sehun blinks, looking scared. Kyungsoo glares back.

     Oh, no.

     Chanyeol sighs obnoxiously when the door of his apartment closes on him and he’s left standing, just in his pajamas, on the landing with a fear of heights screaming at him to go back inside. .

     “GODDAMNIT, AND IT’S MY OWN GODDAMN PROPERTY.”

To: jong-

Jongin!!! We need to meet up!!! Quick!!!

To: chanster

Where r u???? why?

To: jong-

I’m literally standing outside of my ing apartment because your boyfriend and my roommate have locked themselves in there.

To: chanster

What the actual . What? Is kyungsoo…? What is he doing with sehun?

To: jong-

I need to see you. At starbucks. Pronto.

To: chanster

Bad timing, I’m literally in class rn.

To: jong-

Oh, dammit. After, okay? I’ll be at starbucks. 2 o’clock. I’m going to your house to get clothes for me bc I feel like they’re going to take a long time in there, if you know what I mean…

To: chanster

YOU’RE FREAKING ME OUT! AND PROF IS LOOKING AT ME! I AM PANICKING CHANYEOL

To: jong-

Focus on class. See you at two.

Chanyeol fidgets impatiently, fingers locked around his coffee. He can’t help but look around nervously, and then cast his eyes back down to his phone.

     His text, unreplied to, sits in his inbox and gives him a feeling of apprehension. He sighs and rests his forehead on the table. Sehun, what’s going on in there? blinks at him. 

     He should have never gone to get drunk with Jongin. He should have just left their relationship alone, if Kyungsoo was going to it up anyway with Sehun.

     But why did Jongin invite him anyway? They both know that when he’s drunk, he’s extra sensitive and easily aroused. It was a dangerous situation to be in, considering the relationship.

     He’s so confused.

     “Chanyeol!” Chanyeol looks up to see Jongin skidding in, spotting his table, and walking over, keeping his head down under the judgmental glares. He slowly sits down in his chair, grabbing the coffee Chanyeol purchased for him. “What the is going on?”

     “Calm down,” Chanyeol says. “Breathe. I just . . . do you remember what happened Saturday night?”

      Jongin his lips and exhales, raising his cup to his lips and sipping. “Okay. We went out. We ate. And we went to karaoke. And we sang. And we drank. And then we went home.”

      Chanyeol bites his lip. Oh no. “You . . . don’t remember what we did, specifically?”

      Jongin shakes his head slowly, wiping his lip with his thumb. “Nothing special. It was just one of our nights. Why?”

     Chanyeol stares at him for a minute longer. And then he starts to laugh. He laughs and he laughs, threading his hair through his fingers and pulling at the dark brown strands covering his eyes. This is so funny. Jongin doesn’t even remember that he cheated on his boyfriend.

     “What?” Jongin asks quizzically, furrowing his brow.

     “Nothing,” Chanyeol sighs, bending his coffee straw. Jongin narrows his eyes.

     “Bull.”

     “I swear, it’s nothing--”

     “Fine,” Jongin snaps, “it’s nothing. Make me sweat. You know what, I don’t even care. I don’t care about Kyungsoo, I don’t care about Sehun, I don’t care what we even did that night. I don’t ing care. It’s fine.”

     Chanyeol eyes him warily.

     Jongin leans across the table and cups Chanyeol’s chin in his hand. Chanyeol blinks heavily, biting his lip. What is Jongin doing, wait, they’re not even drunk, is he high. What, wait. Wait, wait. Jongin’s gaze is fiery and heated and gooooooddamnit.

     “Jongin, wait--”

     Jongin looks up, releasing Chanyeol and leaning back with a swipe of his tongue over his lips. Chanyeol’s phone buzzes. Kyungsoo appears, hair mussed and shirt rumpled. Chanyeol closes his eyes, praying to sweet Jesus that maybe, maybe, something good will happen to him.

     “Jongin, we need to talk,” Kyungsoo says breathlessly, carding a hand through his dark locks in an attempt to smooth it.

     Jongin looks at him calmly and offers a smile. “Hello, Kyungsoo. You smell of se--”

    “Jong-in, not here,” hisses Chanyeol, sending a sharp kick under the table in his best friend’s direction. He grins pleasantly up at Kyungsoo. “Go ahead. We were just chatting.”

     Kyungsoo nods gratefully and pulls Jongin up by the sleeve. “Wait, but, wait,” Jongin tries, protesting, but it’s futile. Kyungsoo drags him outside without another word.

     Chanyeol exhales in exasperation and looks down at his phone.

From: ayy lmao sehun

Hey, yeol, sorry about that.

From: yeolmate

Okay, sehun, he came in ruffled and smelling very strongly of your cologne and sweat. Please don’t tell me he did you again.

From: ayy lmao sehun

What can I say...

From: yeolmate

JESUS . I LIVE AN AWFUL LIFE.

From: ayy lmao sehun

Okay maybe he blew me, but nothing more serious. Calm down

From: yeolmate

I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE

“Hey, I’m home,” calls Chanyeol, throwing his keys on the table.

     Sehun looks up from a piece of pizza, raising an eyebrow. “How’d it go? Did they scream and tear each other’s hair out?”

      “Why did you let him do that,” whines Chanyeol, slumping on the couch next to his roommate and grabbing a slice of Hawaiian. Sehun just grins in reply.

     “Fine, be cryptic,” he grumbles, watching the explosions of the video game on the tv. Sehun pauses and takes another gigantic, ravenous bite. Chanyeol wrinkles in nose in disgust. Well, he figures, the whole Kyungsoo mess must be eating away inside of him as well.

     “I lied,” Sehun says after swallowing.

     Chanyeol glances sideways. “So . . . he didn’t--”

     “No, he didn’t,” Sehun says, looking down, a smile playing on his lips, “but he did --”

     “Oh my god, he didn’t.”

     “Not lying this time.”

     “I’M LEAVING.”

Jongin doesn’t come around anymore. Chanyeol gives him about a week before he comes crashing in sooner or later; he doesn’t worry. During the weekend and the week, he concerns himself with his studies. Tests come up, he studies studiously, and he passes them, like the studiously studying studious student he is. Normal routine. He sees Jongin several times during physics, but Jongin doesn’t look at him, and now sits next to the Chinese kid Lu Han. Chanyeol just shrugs every time he sees them laughing together, because a) it’s not Kyungsoo, at least, and b) Jongin will come around sooner or later.

     Whenever he sees Kyungsoo, the latter always looks tired and disgruntled. He’s never with Jongin anymore, but even though Sehun thinks he’s being inconspicuous, he’s not. Chanyeol sees them together. Kyungsoo is either arguing with Sehun or trying to negotiate with Sehun.

     (And when they go to the restroom together, Chanyeol takes that as a sign to abscond and leave the general vicinity.)

     But Chanyeol never talks to him himself. He may catch Kyungsoo’s eye, and Jongin’s (maybe? Ex?) boyfriend always acknowledges him some way or another when it happens, but he thinks they’re both avoiding discussion.

     It’s so confusing.

     But things will sort themselves out, definitely.

Chanyeol is surprised when Jongin shoots him a text on Sunday afternoon, asking him if he wants to go run an errand. Chanyeol agrees, and Jongin tells him that he’ll be there at 3:30.

     Jongin arrives in his beat-up old pickup, which he rarely uses because he’s so embarrassed by it; they must be going far into town if he decided to drive it. Chanyeol peers anxiously at him from the bottom of the steps.

     “Channurrrr,” slurs Jongin, but he doesn’t look drunk. The corners of Chanyeol’s lips curl up in a wry smile when Jongin pulls him into a hug. He buries his nose in Jongin’s shoulder, breathing in the scent he’s missed so much and hasn’t even realized it. Jongin, still skinshippy as ever, grabs his hand and pulls him towards the truck.

     “What’s the occasion?” jokes Chanyeol, nodding at the pickup. Jongin snorts.

     “Are you talking about me inviting you? Because I don’t need a reason to go places with my best friend. And if you’re hinting at the truck, I don’t ing know why, maybe I’m too lazy to walk? I need some groceries and to pick up something,” he adds, swinging open the door on the driver’s side.

     Chanyeol hums, getting in. Jongin rolls out the driveway of the apartment building quickly, cowering in shame. “I hate this truck,” he mumbles, shoving a snapback on his head.

     Chanyeol laughs, flicking the peak of his cap. “Just be glad I’m here to protect you from the assault of teasing.”

     Jongin grins at him, and Chanyeol feels something in the pit of his stomach. God, he is beaaaaautiful.

     Okay, he’s really glad Jongin invited him out.

“Please tell me what you have been doing these days,” Chanyeol says, holding up a finger as he throws his cigarette away. “I’m so curious. A week (and a day) is too long for you.”

 Jongin pauses, stepping into the store. Chanyeol shivers and hugs his arms around him, chilled by the stereotypical grocery store chill. Goddamn. “Oh, you know, the usual. I just didn’t have the time to talk to you because of the economics project. You know Lu Han? We paired up for that. It wasn’t a partner project because we obviously have left the days of high school, but we helped each other. He’s a pretty cool kid.”

    “Cooler than me?” presses Chanyeol, a smile nudging at his lips. He grabs a cheese sample as they hurriedly walk through the meat and dairy products area. Jongin grins, and Chanyeol melts. He stops at the Black Forest Ham, and calls to the person behind the glass.

    “Way cooler than you,” Jongin snorts under his breath. “He’s got a cool girlfriend and everything.” Chanyeol nudges him, because he doesn’t need to be reminded that he’s single (and painfully so, because he’s rejected every sad college girl/boy there is).

    Then some lovely-looking salami catches his eye, and he points at it excitedly. “Can we - mmmmmph.”
 

    Jongin shoves his palm over Chanyeol’s mouth when the deli worker comes over, pretty face polite and smiling. “Can I have the smallest package of sliced Black Forest - the one that’s seven dollars?”
 

    “Sliced?” the lady asks in confirmation, and Jongin gives her a thumbs up. She pulls the block of meat out (Chanyeol scrunches his nose up in disgust and Jongin smiles vaguely at his expression) and the hand on Chanyeol’s mouth finally lets up. Chanyeol nods at the salami again, words bubbling out of him excitedly.

    “I haven’t had salami since I was, like, fourteen, I’m twenty-one now, please oh please oh please, please let’s get it, I really want it, please--”
 

   “I will, if you shut up,” Jongin says exasperatedly, flopping his hands around and closing his eyes. The deli worker offers a bubbly smile, handing over the package of Black Forest Ham and already reaching for the salami before Jongin can say anything. Chanyeol raises a fist in victory.

    “You,” Jongin sighs, eyeing Chanyeol pointedly and forking over the ten dollars with an over exaggerated shaking hand, “will empty my wallet faster than I can.”

    Chanyeol only grins winningly, swinging his arms behind his back. “You love me.”

    He doesn’t catch the longing look in Jongin’s eye.

“What are you getting?” Chanyeol asks Jongin, nudging the bag of bananas out of his way. Jongin pulls to the left, preparing to make a u-turn. He shrugs and nudges the radio button. Loud music blares through the speakers, causing Chanyeol to hum in appreciation.

     “I’m trying to make a copy of a couple of pictures and videos,” Jongin says. “Hopefully the lady has finished it. If she hasn’t – god damn, it’s been, like, two weeks, so.”

     “Ah.” Chanyeol nods, chin tilting towards the photography/video burning place. “There?”

     “Yep,” Jongin confirms, a smile flicking at his lips. He mutters the lyrics of the song playing under his breath. Chanyeol bites his lip, recognizing every word. I’m about to make you sweat all backwards; and your heart beat in reverse. Our guts can’t be reworked, as alone as a little white church in the middle of the desert getting burned.

     In truth, Jongin has a beautiful voice. He just doesn’t use it, and that’s what makes Chanyeol upset. He sits in a semi-sullen silence while Jongin pulls into the parking lot. His best friend parks, sits for a minute, and then unbuckles. “I’ll see you in a few minutes. Five. Unless you want to come?”

     Chanyeol shakes his head wordlessly, flashing his set of teeth at Jongin. Jongin grins back, dark brown eyes searching his and probably looking into his soul and observing how Chanyeol is actually     hyperventilating because Jongin is looking at me for more than two seconds and holy and wow I need to stop.

     Jongin laughs a bit awkwardly, clearing his throat and opening the car door. “You can leave the radio on if you want.” He glances towards the stereo. “I’ll be back.”

     Chanyeol just looks on when Jongin clambers out of the truck and slams the door, jogging across the small parking lot and swinging himself onto the concrete. Chanyeol frowns angrily because jesus , I need to stop thinking about him and he doesn’t even care about you and I just need to listen to the radio okay.

     Once calming Fall Out Boy is swimming in his ears he can relax. He scratches some of the paint off the handle of his door, letting the black scraps fall to litter the floor. Who cares, this car is banged up anyway.

      He can see Jongin faintly through the glass of the shop, hair mussed in all directions and hands slipped into the back pockets of his ripped jeans. He’s slouched back slightly, talking with ease to the lady behind the desk. He laughs, Adam’s apple bobbing, obviously flirting, and Chanyeol’s throat tightens. a) how can Jongin just converse so nonchalantly to strangers and b) he’s so jealous because first of all Jongin only flirts with him and he doesn’t even know if him and Kyungsoo dating anymore?

     The song ends and blends into another one – Inside Out, by Eve6. Chanyeol always thought it was a weird song. He frowns at the screen that blinks the radio station name and leans back in his chair. Jongin has a package in his hand – he’s done, Chanyeol guesses, but still chatting up the woman. He doesn’t be-lieve it. Should he honk?

     He’s been in love with Jongin too long. How many years have they been friends? Since at least the second year in high school, so about six or seven years. How many years has Chanyeol liked Jongin? It’s probably five, realizing it right before he came out to his parents. That’s been too long.

     It’s pathetic really, his situation with Jongin. If Jongin liked him back at all, there would have been something, some sign. The flirting was nothing, the kissing was nothing. Jongin told him, last year of high school, that it had to end, because it meant nothing. Jongin said so himself, so how could it be anything different? They were drunk that Saturday night; so that kiss was empty and meaningless.

     Pretty much all this time, Chanyeol’s crush on his best friend was empty, meaningless, and really just a whole lot of nothing. How could Jongin ever like him back? Maybe wishful thinking is just an unrecognized pastime for him.

    “Hey, partner.” Jongin hops into the seat, slamming the pickup door and starting up the engine. Chanyeol jumps, because he wasn’t just thinking about him. No way. He flashes a smile at his best friend nervously, and he can see in the rearview mirror that his cheeks are flushed pink in embarrassment. Jongin meets his eyes in the mirror, and an almost tangible silence passes between them.

     And Chanyeol is astounded, because as soon as Jongin fell silent, it didn’t feel like an awkward silence.

     It’s a comfortable silence. One that makes Chanyeol feel like an understanding between both of them is happening, from the very core of their bodies to the brown orbs searching the glass in the mirror. A silence that made him almost sleepy and content in the environment.

     A meaningful silence.

    But then the persistent rumbling of the engine slaps Jongin in the face and Chanyeol falls back into his seat, turning to look out the window wordlessly. Jongin swallows and pulls out of the parking space, glancing worriedly at Chanyeol every once in a while. Chanyeol blinks back shame and regret, teeth worrying his lower lip. This has got to end somehow.

    “What’s up with you?” mutters Jongin, looking up at the rearview mirror once more. Chanyeol blinks, staring at the dashboard with no interest whatsoever.

     “Just astounded at your flirting abilities,” Chanyeol murmurs, crossing his ankles and shrugging. An eyebrow quirk.

     Jongin lets out a high-pitched whine, and Chanyeol’s abdomen tightens. “Are you . . .?”

     “No. I’m not.”

     “But you sound mad. Please tell me if you are.”

     “How many times do I have to ing tell you? No.”

     “Why do I keep getting mixed signals from you, goddammit? Just tell me what you feel right now, stop acting like you don’t care about it.” Jongin sends him a look. “Because I know you’re upset about something. Just tell me. I’m sick of you hiding things.”

     Chanyeol remains silent, letting out a sigh only. He looks down at his hands, and runs a finger over his thumb. He cannot believe this.

     “Well, how’s Kyungsoo?” he asks scathingly.

     He turns to face Jongin and Jongin slams on the brakes so hard, tires running into the curb. “Jesus ing Christ, what the hell are you thinking?” gasps Chanyeol, pressed up against the door, shoulders squeezed between the wall and his seat.

     Jongin just lets out another noise and suddenly his seatbelt is unbuckled and he’s leaning over, hand roughly locked underneath Chanyeol’s jaw. Chanyeol inhales when there’s a pressure, Jongin has straddled his legs. There is a fierce look in his eye as he hovers over Chanyeol; Chanyeol’s almost scared. But then Jongin leans down and kisses him, and he almost faints.

     Jongin’s mouth is soft, a direct contrast to his ripped muscles and hard, tense body. Chanyeol revels in it, leaning his head back to give more access to his mouth, low in his throat when Jongin’s tongue brushes his lips and his teeth tug at the lower one. Jongin bites gently at his lips and only lets up when Chanyeol gasps ruggedly, “What about Kyungsoo?”

    Jongin frowns childishly and cups Chanyeol’s face, t-shirt sliding slightly off his shoulder. He kisses Chanyeol bruisingly, into his mouth and breathing out a husky, “We broke up.” Chanyeol sags in relief, Jongin’s lip into his mouth and keening when he rolls his hips.

      Jongin’s shirt ends up somewhere. Anywhere. Chanyeol doesn’t know, and doesn’t really care. But.

     “We can work out the details later,” mumbles Chanyeol, turning his head to let Jongin kiss his way down his neck, “BUT WE ARE NOT HAVING IN THIS CAR.”

      Jongin’s lips curve up in a smile and Chanyeol groans. Jongin is being badass, Chanyeol thinks numbly, running his hands up Jongin’s almost fully tattooed sides. But it’s too late; he’s already fallen too hard and too far.

     (he’s in way too deep and Jongin’s lips are in amazing.)

PLEASE TELL ME IF I HAVE TYPOS!!     -for those people that never read author's notes 

a/n:

ok, i am an absolute , so I WILL INCLUDE AN EPILOGUE.

this has been a hell of a week, pretty much a hell of a month. so i'm really sorry, i've been a complete mess. 

this chapter is really incomplete, i guess, so that's why i'm making an epilogue. like it said, they still need to work out the details because it seems weird if they just kiss and then the story's over, right? 

comments would make me feel really happy, because i feel like this was really bad :c you guys need to reassure me omfg

LONG AWAITED, HUH? yeah it's been a month and a half hahaha AH Aha 

but it was my birthday four days ago!!! /lonely confetti all by myself

i really didn't have a party, actually, omg. my sister's friends just came over and we celebrated together. thanks, SnowDreamYuki, you really made my day. i had fun. even though you didn't get me a birTHDAY PRESENT

ok ok ok i'll shut up now. see you lovelies!!! <33333

--kika