Japan Revelation

Description

Foreword

A namsong one-shot about their trip to Japan. After watching Winnertv and how maknae Taehyun tricked Mino, I felt inspired to write a namsong story.  Forgive my english, my native language is Spanish. Enjoy.

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
missbeehave
#1
Chapter 1: Aww kyoot.
Mino heard him and remembered his confession yeay!!!
Lol its just like Mino hahahahha
afterdark
#2
Chapter 1: I'm not gonna lie and say this story is good... because it isn't :( Let me explain: people can see you wrote this in 10 minutes. I don't know what writing is for you, but if you don't have time or will to write, then don't. Because if you write something in ten minutes it can't be good. It looks like you didn't even re-read what you wrote. There aren't spaces between lines, or between descriptions and dialogues. It looks like you didn't pay attention to anything. The situation itself is too weird: Mino would never drink a whole bottle by himself out of the blue. Where did he get the bottle? how, since they're controlled by staff all the time? Why drinking a whole bottle of wine like that? It all sounds strange. And also, a drunk person would have really drown and died in that pool. You can't joke like that, because it doesn't look real. And about the japanese - I know you don't know japanese language, but if you really want to write in Japanese at least use a translator or do some research. DON'T make it up, it sounds ridiculous and it looks like you didn't have the will to write this story and you just throw random things in it. And also, don't write your personal thoughts in between the story like you did with japanese -> ''(I just made that up, not real japanese lol ) '' Don't do this, it's not good for your story.
Please pay more attention to what you write. Think a lot before writing, re-read what you wrote, use a beta-reader who can tell you what your mistakes are. I'm telling you this because I would like you to get better, not because I hate you or something. I don't even know you. I just want to help.
English isn't your problem. People can see you know english, but you need to improve your writing skills, because right now they are poor. It looks like you're writing some bad parody or something, and it shouldn't be so because you wanted to write a good story right?
Hope this can help xoxo
evaGDYB
#3
Chapter 1: This is cute awww
eescorpius #4
Chapter 1: Awww this is so cute!
lovenamsong #5
Chapter 1: Gracias por escribir!!! me gustó mucho