"Siwon... Let's break up.." she said without looking at me.

I feel my world crumbles down before my eyes. I see tears rolling down on her cheeks. She doesn't even bother to wipe them. I don't know why she said those words to me. The problem must be greater than this. She wouldn't break up with me just because of that stupid picture.

"Are you tired of me Agnes?" I ask her as calm as I can.

She doesn't answer my question.

"Agnes, please look at me. Is it only me who wants this relationship last?"

I feel hurt and a bit betrayed.

"No... I'm just...,"she heaves a deep sighs,"...sometimes, I feel you are too good for me. Besides, your Mom still wants you with Stella instead of me." A bitter smile creeps on her lips.

She's right. My Mom doesn't approve us. She always says Stella will be a good mother and Agnes won't be near it because she has no enough time to take care of my family.

"We've discussed it Agnes and I've told you that I love you and every part of your life. Your dreams are mine too babe."

I frown and clench my fist. I've shown her how much I love her yet she still feels not enough.

"Siwon.. I.. We need to take our time and think about this thoroughly. Let's live on our own from today. I'm sorry. It's too overwhelming Siwon."

I bury my face on my palms before taking a deep sigh.

"I know.. Good night.."

She then disappears from my laptop screen. I just stare blankly at the screen. My mind recalls the conversation we had just now. I feel like an idiot. We've been together like two years and now it's nothing. We broke up because her insecurity never leaves her.

It's already 3 a.m but I still couldn't sleep. The image of Agnes crying is bothering me. I sit up and grab my phone. I type a message for her and then lay back on the back. Trying to sleep.

Agnes POV

Buzz.. Buzz.. It's 5 a.m and I'm still wide awake. My phone vibrates but I don't feel like I want to see who sent me the message. Today I have a shooting schedule for Nezacademy and some commercial breaks. My life is always busy as bee. Last night I sobbed like a mad hyena after having a heartbreaking conversation with my boyfriend. Well, now he's an ex. I broke up with him. Siwon is perfect that sometimes I question his love for me. I mean, I'm a cold person and selfish at the same time. I'm also possesive but he tolerated them all. He said I'm confusing and I took it as a hint from him that he's fed up with me. To be honest, I'm confused with myself too. It's not the picture that I wanted to end this relationship for. It's my insecurity that eats me up. I never thought this long distance relationship could last this long. Two years are a great record for me. I'd never been in a relationship for that long. It beats my first relationship when I was sixteen years old with a man named Deddy who becomes a magician. He even has his own reality show on TV now. We ended up because he cheated on me. With a fake blond hair cheerleader whose voice is annoying. Second relationship was last for about six months with an Idol contestant where I was one of the judges. Don't judge me okay, I was in my puberty,likely, and he melted my heart with his intense stare. Guess what, he's married now with his affair. He cheated on me too. The third relationship was with this guy whom I found hot. He's a basketball player and his abs told me everything. I'm a maniac when it comes to exercising muscles. Our relationship ended up because he's actually a jerk who wanted a popularity. One day his real girlfriend shown up out of nowhere when we were celebrating our second months anniversarry. Have I told you that he's a cheesy one? So, I kicked him out of my life. He got a scandal with a female DJ and when I read the news on internet I was like " dude, i'm more than willing to kick ur a$$ for real." I won't tell you about my other failed relationships because it will add my misery. I never cried this much for a guy but Siwon. Each time I broke up with a man, I never feel miserable like this. Siwon, what have you done to me? Why do I feel like I've just made a mistake?

I sit up on my bed and take a deep a long sigh. I get up and see my reflection in the mirror. Disheveled hair, puffy eyes. Oh my... I look like a .

"Hello there single woman. You look perfectly messed up this morning! You're succesfully kick a perfect man named Choi Siwon out of your life. You should thank your stupid insecurity," said my inner goddess inside my head.

I pat my both cheeks and form a smile. No regret. His Mom doesn't approve me though.

"Boys just come and go like seasons Agneslicious," I imitate Fergi's song and shake my booties as I stride to the bathroom. I need a cold shower. I'm an alien when I broke up.

***

Buzz.. Buzz... Buzz..

"Hello,yeah, I'll be there at ten. Sure. Okay."

The producer of Nezacademy, talent show which I'm considered as the main judges, called me to inform that the schedule is moved an hour earlier. And he's sorry about that. I don't mind though. Busier I get, easier for me to forget about Siwon. I need a distraction and drowning myself at works is a good option.

When I see my phone screen, a message appear on it.

My Siwonie 1 new message

I tap the screen and there it is the message which causes my heart skips a bit.

'For u it's separation.. For me it's waiting .. At any place or time, whenever u r tired n worn out, please return to me. U have to be happy, my love, until that day, until we become eternal , If you forget me and erase me without a trace…'

I bite my lips and look up to stiffle the sob and hold the tears that are threathening to fall down. Pain constricts my heart and suddenly it's hard to breath. I pat my cheeks and take a deep breath.

What should I do now? Saying that I still love him, which is a fact that I can't hide, and want to come back? No, I will not take back my words. I'll just hurt him more in the future if I stay with him.

'Yes, you and your never ending pride'

I can feel my imaginary inner goddess rolls her eyes at me.

I put my stuff inside my MCM backpack and check myself once again in the mirror.

Make up. Check. White tank top. Check. Hot pants. Check. Red sneakers. Check. I tied my hair into a bunny and I'm ready to face the day.

***

I love writing .. I know my story n english r not perfect but I'm learning to be good at English .. :) See u on the next chap! Silent readers! Haha