Agnes POV

Sometimes I'm sick of people who act like they know what exactly I should do about my life. But then, forgiveness and love are two things that keep me smile and enjoy the life I'm living in. I love taking control but sure I try to restrain myself not to go off-limit like hurting the ones I love 

"Seriously babe, what's with this account? People will think it's me because of the display picture."

I'm talking through skype with one of popular halyu idols from Super Junior ,Choi Siwon. He's my boyfriend. Well, not on public since we don't want to cause any chaos among our fans. I've been staying in LA for about three years but once awhile I go back to my country Jakarta when I have some works to do there. People call me an ambitious woman. Oh yes I am. I've been working on my album together with some popular musician like Timbaland, Missy Elliot and T.I. My international album is about to release and it's not good to do such a stupid thing like revealing our relationship. That's why I'm quite clear about this one. However, this boyfriend of mine thinks that having a fake account dedicated for me and him is fun.

"Babe.. People won't notice it except....you know, some of our supporters. They call themselves "SWAG". I kinda like the sound of it. Don't you like it?"

Siwon sidetracks the subject but I don't want to let it go although I find it cute when he smiles and shows his dimples. If only he were here, not inside this 16 inch lappy, I would launch my body to his hug and give him a light punch on his chest. Well, a bit cheesy but it's true anyway.

"Don't even try to change the subject . Last time you even posted our secret picture in Kenting Island. The picture was spread like mushrooms on internet and I was almost got a heart attack."

I pouts but he just laughs and shakes his head.

"I know the picture is not clear enough for people to see our face. For your information my lady, it's Kyuhyun who spread the picture using his secret Weibo account because he's mad at me. It's your fault too."

"Me? What's the relation between me and Kyu was being mad at you?" I ask in disbelief.

"When we met secretly in Hawai, I actually asked for Kyu's help. Well, I didn't directly ask for his help though because...you know he's not gonna say yes to me. So, I tricked him a bit. I said I found this special place in which Star Trek stuff were being sold. Being excited,which made me feel a bit guilty, he followed me and when he saw you sitting in that small cafe near the beach, he finally realized that I actually wanted him as our... you know .. not gaining people's suspicion when there are three of us. Then, he was about to go back but I threatened him about his dirty little secret. So... Now you got it right?"

I can't believe he's doing it to Kyuhyun. I know Kyu can be an evil sometimes but he's nice to me. For a moment i just squint my eyes at him on the screen while folding my hands on my chest.

"Promise me you won't tweet or post stupid things on that account. Seriously, you craved that "A" letter for this?"

I'm talking about a picture of an A letter he craved on sand when he went to Hawai. There he laughs again.

"Oh my God, babe you're so funny. Wish I were there I would hug you tonight and kiss those thin lips just like when we're in Osaka under that dimlit street," he winks and grins ear to ear. I'm blushed and can't help myself to smile.

"It's already late at night here babe. I need some rest. Can't wait to spend christmas with you and your family in Seoul," I sigh and he shows me that killer smile again.

"It's okay, next month is December. Thirty days of missing me and it'll worth it. Now let me kiss you."

I kiss the laptop screen and so he does. Like a stupid couple, yes, we're stupid when it comes to love.

Siwon POV

Whoever found this social network called Twitter should get a huge statue placed somewhere on Earth as a monument. Why? I laugh most of the time whenever I read something about myself on it. Well, there are also some people bashing me and saying that i'm a gay. I just laugh it out. Perhaps, I look prettier or more handsome than those people, I don't know.

"Hyung, I heard Agnes's single has been released. Don't you like it?" Donghae is with me now. We're sitting around in one of studios inside SM building. I'm still busying myself with twitter.

"I love everything about my girlfriend so I think your question doesn't need an answer."

He laughs again but then it dies down as he takes a deep sigh.

"You know hyung? I think your plan to move next year won't be easy."

I know Donghae will talk about this AGAIN. Sometimes I think it's him who has been in this relationship. I shift on my seat and look at him.

"I've told you so many times that I have my own decision. I want a future of my own and Agnes is my future. Next year I'll move to LA."

He looks very disappointed.

"I know you love each other but .....do you really have to go this far hyung? I mean, you always put her first. Please don't make the same mistake like you did before, to Stella noona. She hurt you so bad and I don't want to see you feel devastated again."

He is right. Agnes is always be my priority. Honestly, I haven't said it to her that the reason I move to LA is because I want to get closer to her. I'm sick and tired of this long distance relationship. I'm tired of waiting in a secret place when she and I happen to transit among our busy schedules abroad. I just told her that I wanted to live in LA because I want to pursue my carrier in Hollywood as an actor. I really want to shout out to the world how much I love her but I'm afraid she might leave me because her dream as an international singer is about to come true.

"Hyung, be wise. Sometimes, you have to think about your feeling too. Does she even ask you about your activities these days?"

"Of course she knows everything about me everyday."

"Yes, because every day you inform her everything when she doesn't even give a damn about your life. And one more thing hyung. She's always gone mad whenever she reads or hears news about you and girls, like she owns you. She cares when you are with someone else. Other than that, you are nothing to her."

I really want to punch Donghae's face but what he said sounds right. The truth is hurt sometimes. I glare at him but then I shift my gaze elsewhere to hide my feeling. I begin to question myself. Is she still the same woman I love? No. Agnes is not the same Agnes I knew a year ago. She's really busy these days. We skyped after two months of not-seeing-each-others'-face conversation. She's changed. Donghae smiles apologeticaly, pats my shoulder and leaves the room.

***

Agnes POV

"Hello Steve.. What's my schedule for this month? Owh, okay. Got it. Kay. See you then."

Steve is my manager and also my brother. He knows everything about me. And of course about my boyfriend. I grab my stuff and then leave. My single "Coke Bottle" has been released and I need to do some rehearshal before go back to Jakarta and do some shooting for NezAcademy. I don't even have time to reply Siwon's text this morning. He will understand my busy schedules anyway. It's one of things I love about him. He understands me and trusts me even when we don't see each other as much as other couple do. Sometimes, I feel i've been unfair to him. I rarely ask him about his days, works, whatnot. Hopefully he won't chase another girl just because I can't spare my time with him. What if he finds another woman who can give him what he wants? That Stella girl, although she's far away in New York, I still don't like her. Then there are SNSD girls who are in the same building with him almost everyday. Sooyoung is his ex and he said things between them are over but I still feel a bit jealous when I see them on a stage standing side by side for SM Town concert. I miss our times when we chatting until midnight, he singing for me, he teasing me. But I have my dream to pursue. A dream I've been dreaming about since I knew how to sing and dance. I want to be an international artist. I want to shut those haters mouth by showing them what I got. No one and nothing can beat me up. I'm making it happen and I'm working my off. It's never been easy for me and having Siwon in my life is like a blessing for my soul. I love him. God knows I love him.

Author's POV

@SwagAreWe siwon belongs to stella. So sad but true. Just look at the pict both she and siwon posted.

@luvadine @SwagAreWe omg, it's Ace Hotel rite? Hmmm This morning

Siwon logged in to his twitter account and felt a bit uneasy about these tweets he found. He's a lurker and a stalker and first thing he did after morning prayer was stalking some twitter accounts.

Stella, seriously, when will u stop doing this? Always relating my life with yours. How can I knock some sense into your brain? We're over yet you're shoving yourself into my life, my family, my friends..

Siwon put his smartphone on the bedside table and stood up. The morning sun crept between the curtain into his bedroom. Wanting to light up his mood, he opened the curtain and let the sunlight bath his entire body. With a smile he convinced himself that today was also another wonderful day and one Stella couldn't ruin it.

He grabbed his phone and typed a message for Agnes.

'Babe, have a safe flight. Miss you already. Don't overthink things okay. I love you'

Agnes POV

I don't know how many times I've rolled my eyes in like twenty minutes. Thanks to these tweets I've read while waiting for my flight to Jakarta. Stella again. Stella again. I'll be a liar if I say I don't care. How do you feel when your boyfriend and his ex post a pict of their favorite place when they were still together? When it comes to me, I'm jealous. But of course I won't show it on twitter. Twitter is not my diary anyway. Last time I almost broke up with Siwon because she posted bed sheet given by Siwon's mom. And the sheet is same with Siwon's. I told him to burn the bed sheet or else I broke up with him. I never meet Stella just yet but I already hate her. She's close to Siwon's family and it makes me hate her more. If only Siwon and his family knew what she said to me last year when I and Siwon officially in relationship. She hijacked Siwon's twitter account and send me a private message.

'Hi, i'm Stella. Siwon's future wife. Siwon is too good for you . What are you after? His money? I'm sure you need money to support your international dream. If you think I'll give up on him, you're wrong. I still keep my Ace card you know.'

Stella deleted the message directly but I informed Siwon about it. He said he'd take care about it. He had no idea how I wanted to push her off a clif and watch her fall while I'm munching my popcorn. She looks religious outside but devil inside. Hypocrite. I gritted my teeth as I remember her words.

'Oh God, did they spend time together in Ace hotel? Is it her Ace card?'

I shake the thought away. Siwon is a man with dignity. He wouldn't do such a sinful thing. But what about Stella? Well, If she had had the urge to seduce Siwon, he would have read some bible verse for her to remind her anyway. So, I think he's safe. Oh my God what am I even thinking about? By the message he sent this morning, Siwon knew that I would overthink things. I'm going back to Jakarta today and I don't text or call Siwon. Yes, I'm a jealous girlfriend. Doesn't every woman do it when they r mad? I log out and take my bag with me when my flight is being announced. I feel my phone vibrates and I take a quick look of the caller's name on the screen. I purse my lips and turn the phone off. Don't want to talk with him...yet. I'm still in jealous mode.

***

Finally, Jakarta.

"Hey, you are so quiet. Is there something wrong with daddy siwon?"asked Sandree. One of my dancers in Nezindahood.

He laughs his head off like it's some kind of a super hillarious joke. I just glare at him while my brother Steve stiffles his laughter at the passenger seat. We just left the airport and heading our way to my house. I just want to sleep right now.

"Sandree, Agnes will slaughter you if you keep teasing her like that,"Steve reprimands him but I can hear amusement in his voice.

What are these two guys? Teenage girls?

"Who's Daddy Siwon? Is he your foster parent in LA?".

It's my niece Chloe asking. My 11 years old niece. Who's sitting on Steve's lap. I can't be mad at her innocent question. Somehow it makes me chuckle.

"No sweetie, he's uncle Siwon. Last year we met him in Osaka, remember?" I said with a smile.

Chloe looks up and wonders her mind to a moment when we spent holiday in Japan. Finding the image, she squels in delight.

"Uncle horse!"

Steve, Sandree and our driver burst into laughter and I bath in embarrasment.

Siwon POV

I glance at my watch again for nth time and Agnes still hasn't replied my text and turn on her cellphone. I'm sure she's already in Jakarta now.

"Hey hyung.. You look apprehensive," greets Eunhyuk as he tosses his body on a couch beside me. I just gives him a small smile which doesn't reach my eyes.

"Nothing. I'm a bit tired. I'll just go back."

I grab my jacket and stand up. I'm lost in my thoughts when I drive home.

'Agnes is probably still mad at me. Will she hate me because of that picture?' I posted it merely because I was there and I had no intention to relate that picture to anybody or anything. It's one of my habit to take some pictures of places i'm at and post it on twitter. Stella probably thought that I posted it because I still have a feeling for her. Then she posted that picture. Or maybe she did it on purpose. I hit the steering wheel and curse under my breath. I must make it up to Agnes.

Once I get home, I take a quick shower and glance at the alarm clock at the bedside table. 9 p.m. I hope she hasn't gone to bed yet. I lost count of numbers of messages I sent to her. She's always been like that when she's jealous or mad at me. I sit on my desk and fire up the laptop. I directly log in to twitter and hope she's online. Thank goodness she's online. I retweet some tweets to indicate that I'm online. She doesn't send anything to my DM section. Taking a deep sigh I type a message.

To: Agnezmo "Babe, i'm sorry about the pict.."

Tapping my finger on the desk, I stare at the screen as if she's going to pop out from it. After awhile I get her reply, finally.

To: Siwon "It's okay. Where are the others? I look forward to seeing them."

I can't help but chuckle. She's jealous and I can picture how mad she is right now.

To : Agnezmo "Do u want me to delete it? If I do it, will u forgive me babe?"

To : Siwon "Do I look like I care?"

That's it. I need to talk to her.

To : Agnezmo "Skype. Now"

I close my twitter account and go to skype. There I see her pissed off face.

"What? I'm tired and I need some sleep. Do you mind?" her expression is impassive and I don't like it a bit.

I run my hands through my hairs and sigh. A bit frustrated at her demeanor.

"How many times should we discuss this? Sooyoung, Stella, Stacey, who else? I've told you they are all my friends? Well, Stella is not a friend anymore. We're strangers now. For godness sake Agnes! Should I post our pictures on my twitter account so that everyone knows I am yours? But then, you are against it, aren't you. You're very....very confusing. And I think you've changed."

"What?"she asks in disbelief, almost in a whisper.

We don't say anything and the silence is smothering me.

"I miss our times back then. Now I feel we're drifting apart. I thought we're okay. I know you're very busy and I don't ask you to be with me 24/7. I love you so much Agnes and you know it. Yet, you don't trust me." I'm waiting for her response. To say something that can make me understand her more.

"Well, I'm sorry then.." she said in a croacked voice after a few minutes which feel like forever.

She's holding back her tears. I open my mouth just to close it again. I don't know what to say. Why can't I be there right now and pull her to my embrace? I want to hug her tightly, caress her hair and inhale her sweet smell. I want to take away her insecurity.

"Siwon... Let's break up.."

__________

A/N : I hope I can finish this story .. LOL .. I'm using my mobile phone.. So yeah, it's crappy edited.. LOl

.. English is not my first language please bear with it! >.