“Which are better: stars or planets?” Taehyung asked one raining afternoon in the summer, kroner necklace resting on his chest.

“Well, if you had asked twenty year old Hoseok, who had just switched majors and commissioned the Neptune tattoo on his forearm, he would have answered planets,” Hoseok smirked, “But now I prefer stars.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“At first I liked planets because they had life, and aliens obviously,” Hoseok teased.

Taehyung rolled his eyes.

Hoseok continued, “And you can land on planets, you can’t step onto a star. But without stars you wouldn’t have planets. They’re a life force, they supply light and energy to the planets. So in a way, they are a deity for all solar systems. They’re a focal point on which others congregate around. They’re leaders.

“Yeah, a hot ball of gas is a leader.

“Yes. Also stars create their own light. Planets and moons borrow from them.  They make up constellations, they’re what we see in the night sky. Well we see close planets too, but planets don’t blink.”

“What?

“Remember? Stars twinkle, they flash. Planets are one continuous bright light.”

Taehyung nodded before staring out the window. Hoseok loved witnessing those moments when Taehyung would get lost in his own thoughts, chasing one train of thought after another, until the end conclusion was something so ridiculous he had to share it with someone. It was during these moments that Hoseok felt all of the seven years separating them.

Taehyung left three days later, his first visit since the one after his sister died. On the kitchen table, Hoseok found a pastel drawing of a full moon surrounded by stars.

~~

The lab threw a birthday party for Hoseok, over the hill themed of course, complete with music from the fifties being played and jokes about him watching God create the Earth. Hoseok didn’t remind them how they were all older than him.

Yoongi insisted they celebrate at the bar, just him, the birthday boy, Nam Joon and Seokjin, the gang since college. Plus a new Grad student named Jimin whom Yoongi declared the designated driver. Poor kid.

“I can’t believe you two came out with us today,” Yoongi smiled over his whiskey.

“We found a babysitter to take care of the twins,” Nam Joon said.

“Really? They wouldn’t even let me hold them when I visited,” Hoseok added.

“First of all, that was before they knew how to walk, you are a terrible godfather.  And Junhong is actually very friendly. Whenever we go to the playground he always wants to take home four or five of his new friends,” Seokjin explained.

“And Jongup?” Hoseok asked.

“He asks me to build sandcastles with him,” Seokjin sighed, “but he does like the new babysitter. His name is Himchan, his family just moved in to the house next to ours. He’s only twelve but he’s really good with our kids. The other night, Junhong was asleep before we got home.”

“If Jinne wasn’t impressed, we wouldn’t be here tonight. He would be too worried about his babies,” Nam Joon smirked. Seokjin slapped his arm. Nam Joon laughed, and slid an arm across his shoulders.

Nam Joon and Seokjin had been unavailable lately, so they let the night swallow them. They didn’t drink enough to black out, lucky for Jimin, but they talked and laughed. They shared stories, spilled secrets from their college years, and had the birthday boy pay for their drinks.

“Man, forty years. Remember when we were eighteen and moving into the campus dorms?” Yoongi asked.

“Yeah, you were a little thug back then,” Hoseok smirked.

“Shut up, I was going through my ‘black’ phase,” Yoongi shoved Hoseok, “besides Nam Joon was worse.”

“He’s right, you were terrible,” Seokjin smiled fondly.

“Then why’d you stay?”

“Don’t answer that. It is my birthday, not your date, no romantic stuff. Intern, get us another round of shots!”

For that night, they were twenty one, just legal, still young. But on the ride home, Hoseok remembered mortality. He remembered responsibilities, he had bills to pay, parents to check up on, a job to maintain. He was too old to blackout halfway through the night. How did they do that back then? He remembered when ten at night was still early, but now it was late enough to go home. Nam Joon and Seokjin were living the domestic life. Yoongi’s mom moved in with him, whenever he wasn’t in the labs, he was taking of her and her Alzheimer’s. Everyone had grown, they were settled.

And Hoseok? Hoseok’s parents come to visit sometimes, still youthful, though they’re pushing death with their age. He has a home. He has a stable job. Good retirement funds. The board at the University loves his tours, and have offered him a job as a lecturer for when research gets too tedious. His life was predictable. Almost.

Taehyung.

Of course the best birthday present was waiting to surprise him at home.

An armful of Taehyung, the sweet taste of his mouth, and Hoseok could confidently say that this was his best birthday in his forty years.

~~

Taehyung only stayed for three days this time. Because on the second night he found Hoseok’s new tattoo.

He was kissing Hoseok’s back when he saw it. “This one’s new,” he traced his finger over the bright lines on Hoseok’s back, “it looks familiar.”

“It should,” Hoseok hummed, he was dipping in that plane between sleeping and awake.

The touches stopped.

“Taehyung?” Hoseok whined.

“ You got my ty drawing on your back?”

“Yeah.”

“My ty oil pastel moon. You know that’s permanent right?”

Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows, he his back and faced Taehyung. Taehyung’s expression was nervous, wide eyed and trembling.

“I know, all tattoos  are,” Hoseok smiled.

Taehyung didn’t return his smile.

When Hoseok woke up, Taehyung was gone. He didn’t come back for almost a year.

~~

Yoongi’s bar trips became less frequent, his mom needed more and more help with each passing month. So Hoseok was left to drink by himself at the pub downtown. The bartender was nice, he never scolded Hoseok for staying until two in the morning, though he did get upset that one time when Hoseok threw up on the counter.

The Grad student Jimin’s new scholarly duties included stopping Hoseok after five drinks, and driving him back home. Hoseok hated Yoongi for that, he couldn’t hate Jimin, Jimin was just doing his job. But Hoseok needed this, needed anything to quell that pain that came with Taehyung’s disappearance. Even Orion wasn’t enough. His chirping made mornings bearable, but evenings? Evenings weren’t evenings without Taehyung curled into him. He glared at the bar covered in braids, and imagined Taehyung lying on the ground, working another one. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t.

They were doing so well.

At least that’s how Hoseok felt.

Nam Joon and Seokjin worried about him. They invited him over for dinner on Friday nights. Hoseok knew it was to guarantee that he wouldn’t be at the bar.  He agreed, only because they cared. And Seokjin’s food was better than his, he has the wisdom comes with years of feeding picky eaters.

Hoseok didn’t know when Junhong got so big. He went to the last birthday, but he lost track of the years somewhere around the fifth. But Junghong and Jongup were happy to see Uncle Hoseok, so he wasn’t the worst godfather, right?

On Saturdays Hoseok would be back at the bar. He never drank before, but after six months without Taehyung, he began questioning everything. It was easier to forget when there was alcohol buzzing in your veins.

He tried not to go during the week.

But one Wednesday, he wished he had gone to the bar instead of going home.

Because there was Taehyung, box smile, eyes hidden in black crescents, shoes off, book in hand, and legs spread out across the couch.

“You’re late Hobi.”

Hoseok bit his lip to prevent him from saying something he would regret later, “The simulations ran late.”

“They should treat you better, you’re getting old.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Hoseok sighed. As usual, whenever he saw Taehyung, all of his anger would vanish. But now he wasn’t angry, just frustrated. He rubbed at his forehead, “I’m tired.”

“It’s only nine thirty, it’s still early.”

“No Taehyung, I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you disappearing without leaving a message or talking to me about it. Do you know how long you were gone this time?”

Taehyung put his book down.

“You were gone for a year. One year! No warning, no message. You just left. That wasn’t surprising, you leave whenever the hell you want. But you cannot come back after a year and expect everything to be normal.”

Taehyung’s eyes were red, his body was trembling, “What do you want from me Hobi?”

Hoseok stepped closer, hesitantly resting a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder, “I’m getting old. I’m almost forty one. And my mom keeps asking when I’m going to settle down. Taehyung I want to bring you to my family and show you off to them. I want to drive home every night without wondering whether you’ll be there or not. I want stability and I almost have it. All I’m missing is you.”

Taehyung swallowed, “Don’t you already have someone else? Half of the closet is empty.”

“The empty half is for you. So you can finally get rid of that god awful backpack. It smells like piss and mud,” Hoseok attempted to smile, “You spent more than ten years travelling across America. Isn’t that enough? What else is left to see?”

“There’s always more to see,” Taehyung trembled, “and what about you? You’ve spent almost half of your life chasing stars, isn’t that enough? Even if you have them painted on your skin, you could never be one of them. People aren’t stars. Stars are hot gases and melted iron. Do you really want to be that?”

“What about me? Taehyung, what about you? You say you walk across the country because you moved constantly as a child and never had a hometown, yet you can’t- couldn’t go four months without coming back to my house. You practically live here Taehyung! What’s preventing that final step?”

Taehyung glared, red eyed and vulnerable. And Hoseok felt his voice tremble when he asked, “Am I not enough?”

Taehyung shook his head. There were no more arguments that night. Because Taehyung grabbed his unpacked bag and ran out of the house. Hosoek found the five kroner necklace on the couch squeezed between two cushions. So, Hoseok stayed up all night, hoping Taehyung would return.

He didn’t come back.

~~

The trees lining the road on Hoseok’s way to work looked as if they were set aflame, a path of fire, the beauty of Autumn. In exchange for chilling winds the observatory was blessed with clear skies. Hoseok frantically scribbled in a lab manual, he ran a hand through his hair, some white strands standing out amongst the black. Maybe he should take up the Univeristy’s offer and begin giving lectures, instead of fumbling with numbers.

He was barely forty three. Yoongi’s mother was living in a rest home now, he couldn’t take of her anymore. Seokjin started working as a teacher, he wanted to make sure they would have enough money for when the twins entered college. Hoseok’s father died six months ago, his mother shortly after, more from grief than illness. That had been upsetting. But at least Hoseok had Yoongi, and Nam Joon, and Seokjin, and the twins, and even Jimin who was no longer a Grad student but a fully employed astrophysicist, and though it brought more pain than comfort, a five kroner coin dangling from his neck and resting on top of his heart.

Hoseok still had the house in the middle of the field, now it was painted beige instead of red. He still had Orion, he taught the bird to chirp Aerosmith songs during the day. The twins would visit on weekends, they had joined a club soccer team and would use the field behind Hoseok’s house to practice. Sometimes Nam Joon and Seokjin would come with them. But more often than not they would drive to the city for a date night. On Friday nights after work, Hoseok would go to Yoongi’s house to drink beer and watch football. It was a pointless sport, but he still went. Yoongi was good company when he wasn’t mocking anyone. The house feels emptier without my mom here, Yoongi once said during a commercial break. Hoseok understood the feeling.

His life had developed a routine. So there he was, performing his morning duties at the lab.

Hoseok’s phone rang, an unfamiliar voice, male, asked if his name was Hobi. An odd request, but then his pulse quickened when he remembered the one person who called him that. Quickly he answered yes, as the man spoke Hoseok’s grip on the chair in front of him tightened. He listened to the instructions, and when the other line hung up, he got in his car and drove to the airport.

On the plane, the lights lit up the town beneath him, like the stars in the night sky, only instead of guiding him home, they guided him to Taehyung, which in a way was home.

Taehyung was broken. Bandage, casts, red seeping through layers of gauze. Eyes wide open, watching a small hospital TV screen.

He had distractedly walked across a street during a red light at night, the doctor explained. A car smashed into him at the intersection he was trying to cross. He had three broken ribs, one broken leg, a sprained wrist, bruising all around his torso, and cheeks torn up by asphalt. But he was still alive. That’s all that mattered.

“Do you know how scared I was when they called? I thought they were going to ask me to identify a body.”

“Lucky you, I know how much you hate people,” there was no bite in Taehyung’s words, just resignation.

The only sound in the room was the steady beep of the heart monitor. The doctor walked in, he checked the charts in his hands and looked at the heart monitor and IV drip.

“How did they find me? You don’t even have a phone.”

“Your phone number was the only contact he had written,” the doctor said

“What?”

“The police searched all over him, the only contact information we could find was a card that said Hobi with your address and phone number listed.”

The doctor left.

After a minute Hoseok asked “Why?”

Taehyung didn’t meet his gaze.

“Taehyung, why did you keep my address?”

Still no answer.

“I met Jungkook once. Remember, the artist you ed in Florida? Was that before or after you met me?”

Taehyung’s cheeks flushed, in a hoarse voice he answered, “After.”

“How many guys were there?”

“Not that many,” Taehyung sighed, “ I – I stopped after the second year.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better,” Hoseok scoffed. He began walking to the door when Taehyung spoke again, “I’m sorry.”

When Hoseok didn’t move, Taehyung continued, “I’m sorry I kept leaving, again and again. And I’m sorry I kept returning. It wasn’t fair to you. Half of the time I didn’t want to leave, but I knew – I thought I couldn’t stay. And every time I left, I wondered if you would be there when I got back. Dumb worry, but still. What if one day I went and you weren’t there?”

He paused, the beeping of the heart monitor quickened.

“I was wrong. You don’t need to paint your body. You don’t have to pretend to be a star… because you are one.”

Hoseok half laughed. Ten years. Ten long years with Taehyung coming in and out of his life. He turned and sat down on the chair next to the bed.

“You’re not making any sense,” he teased.

Taehyung half smiled, “You know what I mean.”

Hoseok didn’t answer but yeah, he knew.

“You broke your leg?”

“You’re in luck, I can’t walk on my own for three to six months.”

“Would you leave even if you could?”

Taehyung turned to Hoseok, cheeks turning red, “Probably not. I missed you Hobi.”

Hobi. Hoseok hadn’t heard that name for almost two years. He wanted to hear it for a thousand more.

So he threaded his fingers through the hand of the broken bark.

“Will you move in with me?”

“Of course.”

This time, Taehyung was staying.

AN: It's finished! Yay! Thank you in advance to everyone who read this!! This was more of a test to see if I could write stories with a happy ending but the story turned out so angsty and so long. Maybe my next test should be to see if I can a short happy fic. Yeah.

Probably not going to happen for a while. I have very writing intensive classes this quarter. And when I'm not doing that, I'm drawing answers for the Ask Toon Bangtan blog (shameless advertising, guess which admin I am, it's pretty obvious XD )

If you still have questions about this fic, you can send me a message and I'll answer them the best I can. Some things that are obvious to me may not be obvious to everyone (like V's constant moving, some of y'all seemed confused about that.) 

Again thank you all for reading! Until next time ^_^