a/n; this chapter is half shorter than the two earlier ones, but i figured to post this anyway ;; there will be about one chapter left, two if the last one turns out too long after editing. 

please leave comments!

The first time Sungmin sees Ryeowook after what happened is when he's on the door to their apartment one Tuesday morning. Sungmin opens and he feels his heart jump up to his mouth when there's  Ryeowook, in his blue fur-hooded jacket and hands in his pockets. He doesn't cry often, but he's afraid his tears are going to spill soon.

He opens his mouth to apologize, to beg for forgiveness, to say all the things he has wanted to say to Ryeowook but the younger interrupts him. "I'm here to see Kyuhyun," he says and brushes Sungmin off without a second glance towards him. Sungmin turns and stares as he disappears into Kyuhyun's room, and he sort of feels like Ryeowook just tore out his heart and threw it out of the window without even feeling sorry for it. But he knows it's his own fault, and he didn't even want Ryeowook to feel sorry for being so cold towards him. He deserves it all. It's his own fault.

Sungmin is writing an essay on the laptop in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee and a bowl of fruit to keep him focused on what he's doing, when Ryeowook comes out of Kyuhyun's room to leave, most likely. Sungmin hears them talking quietly and when Kyuhyun comes into the kitchen and gives him a very strange look, Sungmin knows Ryeowook has told his roommate what had happened. Sungmin can't take it anymore, he leaves his laptop on the table and springs up, stomping his way to the doorway where Ryeowook is putting on his shoes.

"We need to talk," he says, trying to sound confident but it comes out really pathetic instead.

Ryeowook looks at him, and there's a thousand emotions reflecting from his eyes. He swallows, stands up straight, wets his lips and finally says something.

"There's nothing to talk about," he says, cold but Sungmin can hear the tears he's holding back. And then he's gone through the door and Sungmin slumps onto the floor, leans onto the wall and sits there until Kyuhyun comes to ask if he's alright. Sungmin shakes his head as an answer. He thinks Kyuhyun would leave now, but the younger just sits next to him on the floor. Sungmin notices there's a bowl of cereal in his hands and he's eating as he looks at Sungmin curiously.

"I can't give advice," Kyuhyun suddenly speaks up, slurping an another spoonful of his cereal. "Because you know what you did, and I think you know how ed up it was too."

"Yeah," Sungmin whispers.

"I just want to say that he asked me to not tell you anything," Kyuhyun frowns. "I know you're my friend and everything but so is he-"

"It's fine," Sungmin gets up from the floor and pats Kyuhyun's head on his way back into the kitchen. "Keep that promise. He doesn't need anymore people letting him down."

Sungmin stumbles into Ryeowook in a party on the following Friday. Ryeowook is drunk. Really drunk. He's latching onto Donghae, who looks a bit uncomfrotable but lets him do what he's doing, since he's Ryeowook and by now everyone knows what happened between him and Yesung and Sungmin. Donghae probably feels sorry for him and he keeps giving strange glances to Sungmin. Just like most people that are friends with both Ryeowook and Sungmin. He knows why, though. He's not dumb. He knows that no one has really approved of his ways, him jumping from bed to bed without actuallly committing to anyone.

Sungmin looks at him from across the room, he's a bit tipsy and wondering whether he should go and try talking to him. He has been very quiet all evening, ever since he saw that Ryeowook was in the party too. He's been sitting on the couch all night, not really socializing with anyone besides the people who occasionally sat next to him. Normally, he would have been dancing and singing and starting drinking games, he'd be flirting and laughing and meeting new people, but this time, he didn't feel like it at all. He doesn't know why he came in the first place, for the first time in his whole life, he feels alienated from his friends.

He sees as Ryeowook clings onto a man he has never seen before, and he's pretty sure Ryeowook doesn't know him either. The man seems to be a lot more sober than Ryeowook is, and the alarms in Sungmin's head start going on. The man leads him out of the door, Ryeowook hardly staying up on his own two feet, and Sungmin springs up to go after them. He can't let Ryeowook go with that man, it has always been his job to protect the younger man and he's not going to stop doing so even if Ryeowook would hate him.

"Ryeowook," he says quite loudly to the two men walking down the yard. "Ryeowook!" he yells again and the unknown man peeks back towards him. "Ryeowook!" he screams loud enough for the man to stop and he sees Ryeowook swaying in his place before turning around, almost falling down but the man catches him. Sungmin feels disgusted seeing how the man touches him.

"What!?" Ryeowook slurs and takes a few steps towards Sungmin but almost falls down again. Sungmin catches him by his arms but Ryeowook pushes him away. "I have nothing... to say to you...," Ryeowook mumbles.

"I don't think you should go with that man," Sungmin says under his breath. He glances at the guy, who looks at them curiously. There's absolutely nothing trustworthy in him, he looks like he's waiting for Sungmin to disappear to take advantange of Ryeowook at any given moment.

"Why not?" Ryeowook his head to the side and pokes a finger hard against Sungmin's chest. "Why do you care...? I can have with anyone I choose to." Ryeowook crosses his arms and is in danger of falling down again. Both Sungmin and the man try to catch him but Sungmin is first, and he gives the man a glare that makes him back away.

"Of course you can, but you wouldn't have with him while sober," Sungmin continues speaking so the man doesn't hear him. "I really don't think you should-"

"!" Ryeowook screams suddenly. Sungmin stops talking at once, startled by the sudden loud outburst from the other man. "Why the hell do you care? You've ed probably everyone inside that house at some point of your life, all while drunk! I don't need your ty advice," Ryeowook's eyes are brimmed with tears and they keep on spilling out as he yells. "You're the campus , Sungmin, I don't need you to tell me anything." He slurs as he turns around and Sungmin is frozen in his place, not believing that Ryeowook just said what came out of his mouth. He wants to say something back, but nothing comes out. Ryeowook is next to the man again, linking arms with him and Sungmin almost lets him go with him.

Then there's a deep voice just behind Sungmin. "Ryeowook," it says gently and Sungmin glances back to see Kyuhyun. 

There's a brief silence, Ryeowook looks puzzled between the man and Kyuhyun, but lets go of the former, trying his best to stay up as he waddles over to Kyuhyun.

"I'll take him home," Kyuhyun says gently when Ryeowook is shyly pressing against Kyuhyun and the man has disappeared back inside after some glaring from both Kyuhyun and Sungmin. Sungmin nods. He knows he can trust Kyuhyun, and apparently Ryeowook trusts him enough to let him take care of him, too.

He watches them disappear behind the corner and sigh, rubbing his tired eyes. He's not sleepy. He's just tired.

That night, Sungmin doesn't take anyone home and neither does he end up in anyone's bed. He goes home alone, he makes himself a cup of ramen and eats it while coming down from his slight drunkeness on the sofa. The TV is on and when it starts playing the re-run of Ryeowook's favorite drama, Sungmin starts crying, breaking down at 3 a.m alone in his apartment.

Kyuhyun wakes up to the sound of puking and as he sits up he realizes all his joints are aching, but that's most likely caused by sleeping on the too tiny couch of Ryeowook's apartment. He's worried for a second, but realizes it's just Ryeowook, who's probably very much hungover, considering in what shape Kyuhyun got him home last night. 

He had been dragging the boy home half of the way since he was apparently too drunk to remember how to walk. He didn't really mind, he felt like he could do anything for Ryeowook. There's this feeling in the bottom of his stomach and binding around his heart that tells him that he needs to take care of the older male, he seems so fragile and small and Kyuhyun understands completely why Sungmin is so protective over his best friend. He feels like he wants to shield him from all the bad in the world and keep him hidden somewhere where everything is fine and where he would never stop smiling. 

Last night, he had tucked Ryeowook in bed and kissed his lips softly, because he was sure Ryeowook wouldn't remember it in the morning. Or if he did, Kyuhyun could deny it ever happened. He couldn't admit doing something like that, not now, not ever. The feelings he had for Ryeowook were a secret buried deep inside Kyuhyun's heart, in a place where they could never get out. Even if they tried, oh God, they tried to crawl their way out from their hiding place, they tried to spill out from his tongue and they made his hands shake, his heart thump against his chest like a wild animal trying to get free from it's cage. Ryeowook's lips were soft and warm, but there was the taste of alcohol and nicotine and the lack of response that made him pull away. He felt wrong, he knew it was wrong, there was so much wrong about what he did. He still feels bad about it, but he keeps on telling himself it was the alcohol in his system that made him do something that low.

He's sitting on the couch, he's not sure if he should leave or not, but then Ryeowook gets to the livingroom and sits next to him. 

"What did I do last night...?" Ryeowook mutters. Kyuhyun knows what he's feeling, because you always have that strange sensation that you have done something very wrong even if you wouldn't remember it on the following morning. Kyuhyun ponders if he should say it out or not.

"You called Sungmin a ," he talks before his brain has completely registered the words going out. He says it so nonchalantly, but when he's finished talking, the words hang in the air and Ryeowook gasps. He turns to face Kyuhyun completely, he's shocked, his eyes telling a million stories of regret. 

Kyuhyun can't read what Ryeowook is thinking, now matter how he tries to. He sees the confusion, he knows there are many thoughts running through Ryeowook's already cloudy head and before he knows it, Ryeowook bursts out in tears. He's overwhelmed and Kyuhyun awkwardly pats his back as the other doubles over to sob into his knees. Kyuhyun knows Ryeowook is tired, too. He knows he's battling with himself to decide what's wrong and right, since Sungmin did let him down in a way that would even take a long time for Kyuhyun to forgive, but now Ryeowook had done something that wasn't very good either.

He continues rubbing his back until Ryeowook's sobs quiet down and he lays his head on Kyuhyun's lap, being completely silent and Kyuhyun lets him, since he really doesn't know what to do either.

Kyuhyun thinks it's all going to be over and done, peace will be made between the two friends, when Ryeowook appears in their door and asks for Sungmin instead of Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun goes get the older male who rushes from his room to hold Ryeowook tightly in his embrace, and they stay like that for a good ten minutes. Kyuhyun moves back to the living room where he had been sitting. He keeps on messaging his friends to play with him a little, since he's done with his homework and has some time to spare. But Changmin's too busy with Victoria and Minho with Yuri, and Kyuhyun sort of wishes he was just as busy with Ryeowook.

Sungmin and Ryeowook are talking in quiet murmurs in the kitchen and Kyuhyun feels content, now that everything's well again. But the talking gets louder, louder, louder, and Kyuhyun doesn't even notice how loud they got until there's a plate crashing against the floor and Ryeowook shrieks.

"Are you ing kidding me?!"

Kyuhyun whips his head around so fast it hurts and he sees the two standing now, Ryeowook's hands are shaking and Sungmin's eyes are wide. They're quiet, everything's deadly quiet, but then they both start shouting at the same time and Kyuhyun is afraid, it all exploded into a terrible fight all of the sudden, he had no idea what triggered it, but it's on now, and he has no idea what to do. He cowers on the couch, watching them throw words at each other, things he had never thought to hear from either of them.

"I was planning to tell you!" Sungmin says desperately, Kyuhyun didn't catch what they were talking about earlier, but he's pretty sure it was still on the same topic.

"No, you weren't," Ryeowook huffs. 

"I was-" Sungmin protests but Ryeowook is speaking over him again, he's not shouting anymore, his voice is dangerously low, it scares Kyuhyun a little bit.

"I can't believe you put your ual needs before me, and it hurts like hell because I know you don't even care about him, you don't care about any of the people you woo and sleep with and leave on the next morning. I know you don't care, because until now-" Ryeowook takes a second to breathe, he in a shaky breath and tears fall down onto his red cheeks. "Until now, I thought the only person you really cared about was me..."

If there's a facial expression that shows your heart breaking, Kyuhyun was fairly sure that was the expression conveyed on Sungmin's face after Ryeowook's words. He tries to step over to Ryeowook who just pushes him away, sobs shaking his whole body.

"I don't even care if I don't have a chance with him, and if you really were serious with him I wouldn't mind, but you're not. I hope you can even be honest to him, and tell him he shouldn't get his hopes up, before you hurt yet another person," Ryeowook looked at the ground. "You already betrayed me, how many broken hearts do you need?"

And with that, Ryeowook was gone, and this time, Kyuhyun was fairly sure it would take very long until he'd be back again. If that ever happened.