a/n; so. yeah. this didn't end up as a two-shot either. but i'm going to try and cap this at max. 3 or 4 chapters. and all you silent readers! please comment, i really want to hear what people think about this story ;;

Kyuhyun frowns when even in the morning there's no message back from Sungmin. He had texted him, telling that he's crashing on Ryeowook's sofa, since he's too tired to get back to their apartment again. Yesung and Ryeowook are with him, walking towards Kyuhyun's place for a morning coffee, since it's early and not really anyone is awake. 

Last night, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun talked until it was 3 a.m. They ate Chinese take-out, watched bad horror movies and talked until Ryeowook had trouble keeping his eyes open. Kyuhyun thinks Ryeowook is actually smarter than he gives out, he's also one of the sweetest people he has met, even if he often has a bit of a cynical way of saying things. And Kyuhyun can't help but adore the way Ryeowook puts his mouth when he thinks and the way his whole face brightens up when he has an idea.

Kyuhyun doesn't know why he feels the way he does, but all he knows that it's only because of Ryeowook.

They met Yesung after a while they woke up, asking him to come to the flat to practice again.  He's quiet, but it's normal. He doesn't speak unless he has something to say. 

Kyuhyun digs out his keys and opens the door. He hears the clinging of utensils and steps inside to see Sungmin eating breakfast with a girl. Kyuhyun recognizes her as Tiffany, he gives them a quick greeting and gets back to the doorway to strip off his jacket and shoes. He doesn't think about why Tiffany is there, not really registering it, until he walks back into the kitchen and takes a better look at them. The first sign is that Tiffany is wearing Sungmin's plaid shirt with Sungmin's ridiculous Hello Kitty - boxers. It could've also meant Tiffany decided to stay over and just didn't happen to have any clothes of her own she could sleep in. But the second sign, it's quite obvious. It's the hickey, not only on Sungmin's neck, but on Tiffany's, too. There is also a pack on the table, with one hastily opened wrapper peeking out from it.

Ryeowook looks at them suspiciously as well and starts on a pot of coffee. Kyuhyun looks in the fridge for something to eat, finding nothing.

But Yesung. He's stuck in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes narrowed at Sungmin. When Ryeowook turns to him to ask how he likes his coffee as he pulls out three cups, Jongwoon interrupts him.

"I'm sorry, I just remembered I had somewhere to be."

And he's gone with the door slammed a bit too hard.

Yesung can't focus when they're practicing in the piano room next Monday. He's bothered by something, his voice strains and he can't hit the high notes that usually fall off his tongue easier than talk. And he's frustrated, because real life problems shouldn't interfere with university projects. He leaves their practice early, because he thinks it's better he cools off instead of ruining the good practice to the two younger ones.

He heads home and he's not surprised to find Donghae leaning onto the fridge with his hand tangled into Eunhyuk's hair, who's on his knees before him. He only scoffs as he goes into his own room, putting on the television if only to drown out the lustful moans Donghae's doing in the kitchen.

He hates the way he's feeling, he's not jealous, he's way past that stage in his life where he'd get jealous over people. He's just slightly disappointed, both in Sungmin and himself. It hadn't been more than one or two days since he and Sungmin last had together, and he can't help but wonder if Sungmin had to sleep with someone else too, because Yesung didn't satisfy him enough. Or the one night Yesung's not available, Sungmin throws himself to the closest moving thing he finds and s them, not being able to wait a day or a couple to be with Yesung again.

He's frustrated. 

He doesn't want to be with Sungmin, not really. And there was never anything about them sleeping only with each other. He's just disappointed. He should've known that the talk about Sungmin's reputation wasn't just empty words.

Sungmin feels only slightly bad when Sooyoung comes over, face fixed in the most murderous glare a girl could muster up and a box of chocolate in her handbag.

"Changmin cheated on me," she pouts, but she's more angry than sad. "So I left him."

"With who?" Sungmin asks the first question that comes into his mind as he lets her in. She takes out the chocolate and a bottle of wine too, and Sungmin almost protests, because its Wednesday and he has class in the morning and work in the evening, but remembers that Sooyoung just broke up with her boyfriend and she's really in a need of cheering up.

"Victoria," she simply answers. "I'm not mad at her, though. I love her. And that's why I'm here."

Sungmin just looks at her, not quite understanding what she means by that. He takes out the bottle cap opener and hands it to her.

"Well..." she opens the bottle, takes a swig of it and puts it back on the table. Sungmin snorts, but quiets as Sooyoung glares at him "If I would've talked to my girls, they probably would have either insulted her, or put on a sad movie, and I'm really not up for that." She crosses the distance between the two, step swaying and a smirk playing on her lips. "I'd just rather forget about him in some other way..." her hand trails up Sungmin's thigh, to his side, up his neck to cup his cheek. She leans down to kiss him.

Sungmin has a brief mental battle with himself, because with Sooyoung, Yesung and Tiffany - not to mention Minseok and Luhan, he's slept with five people in the span of almost three weeks. It won't help his reputation at all, and Changmin will probably hate him for a while. But then Sooyoung squeezes his and pushes her tongue into his mouth and he forgets everything he was ever thinking about.

Kyuhyun is bothered, but he doesn't understand what pressing his mind. 

It's hard to sleep. It's hard to eat. It's hard to focus on anything else besides singing and whatever Ryeowook is saying to him. First he thinks he's getting sick. He feels a bit dizzy often, and instead of hunger there's a gnawing feeling in his stomach when he's supposed to eat. He spends hours in bed rolling around and trying to catch an eyeful of sleep. He doesn't know what's keeping him awake.

It's not until Changmin asks him to come over, looking pretty worn out himself too when he opens the door. "Me and Sooyoung broke up. I kissed Victoria," Kyuhyun feels like Changmin did more than just kiss her, but lets it be. "She slept with Sungmin." Kyuhyun is not really surprised that Sooyoung went for Sungmin, because Sungmin does have a bit of a reputation. Or maybe it's just that he lives with him, and has seen countless of girls and guys come and go.

"Sorry," Kyuhyun mumbles. He heads to his living room, where Minho is already sitting with Yuri next to him. It's surprising she's there, since she's pretty much Sooyoung's best friend. 

"I know what will make you feel better," Yuri suddenly says and smiles. They all look at her confused as she rushes to the other room where she left her bag. She comes back with a little plastic bag of something, and Kyuhyun instantly knows it's pot. "Everything's always better when you're high," she shrugs.

Minho's eyes are shining. "I ing love you," he mutters and pulls Yuri down for a quick kiss by her hand.

The three friends used to smoke quite a lot more while they were still in high school, but stopped for various reasons. Kyuhyun because Sungmin definitely did not support drug usage in his apartment, Minho because he got caught to his mother, and Changmin just because the two others stopped. But now Yuri was rolling them a blunt with practiced fingers, surprising all of them. She finishes it, holding it up with two fingers. "Got a light?" she grins and Changmin is up faster than a lightning to go fetch one.

Yuri is right, everything is better when you're high. Especially , it seems, since Minho and Yuri have long ago departed to Changmin's bedroom, leaving Changmin and Kyuhyun to share the last smokes.

He's high, but Changmin's fragmented and slow words make complete sense to him. The other is talking about Sooyoung, how he feels he completely ed up when he cheated on her. He says he doesn't think Sooyoung deserved it. Kyuhyun hums and agrees to everything he says, throwing little off-sided comments once in a while. Changmin likes Victoria, but he likes Sooyoung too, and he thinks it's unfair it's possible to like more than one person at once, since it just leads to something like this. Changmin starts talking about both of the girls, the things he likes in them, and Kyuhyun's own thoughts drift off somewhere completely else.

Then Kyuhyun gets it. When Changmin is talking about how soft Victoria's hands are, and how Sooyoung's hair always looks perfect, Kyuhyun's mind is creating images of someone else with soft hands and perfect hair, with a beautiful smile and a cute laugh. With short legs and a petite body.

He gets the lost of his appetite, he gets the sleepless nights and the dizzines, he gets it all. He suddenly looks at Changmin with wide eyes. 

"I ing love him," he whispers. Changmin quiets down, looks at him for a split second, and continues talking about the girls.

Ryeowook doesn't understand what's wrong with everyone. He's usually very good in reading people, but this time he has no idea what's going on.

Yesung is acting weird, but not as weird as he was a few days back. He's just abnormally quiet, even for a person who doesn't speak much in the first place. He's only focusing on the project now, he hardly mentions anything else, when he usually talks about his life quite freely. Kyuhyun is, too, very quiet. Ryeowook thinks the possibility that Kyuhyun and Yesung's silence is somehow linked to each other. They could have had an argument, or something along the lines of that.

Sungmin is his usual self, though. That brings strange comfort to Ryeowook. He knows there has been a lot going on with him again, at least judging from how many people he had brought to his room in a short span of time. He doesn't really care if Sungmin sleeps with a lot of people, but he's heard that constant short ual relationships could be damaging in the long run, as the person won't learn how to commit or settle down. What he thinks is the most important is Sungmin's happiness, and that's why he mentions it quite often to Sungmin.  Usually, Sungmin listens to Ryeowook's advices (and Ryeowook to Sungmin's), but this is one of the things where Sungmin doesn't seem to listen at all.

He wants to ask if Yesung's alright, or if Kyuhyun's alright, but he doesn't. He's not close enough to Yesung and he knows Kyuhyun doesn't like to talk at all.

He wants to make them feel better in some way at least, so the next time they come over to practice and work, he has made a big, sweet chocolate cake. And as they eat and thank Ryeowook, he's happy since it's been a long time he's seen them smile like that.

Sooyoung takes Sungmin out for lunch after his classes one day. She's waiting for him in the hallway, gives him a bright smile and asks if he wants to go eat. Sungmin is hungry, so he agrees and Sooyoung leads him to a very pleasant Italian restaurant just a couple blocks away. Sungmin always feels a bit weird walking next to her, or Yuri, or any girl who is as tall as he is and likes to wear heels on top of that. Sooyoung is almost towering over him, and he's actually more impressed than embarrased now. The ground is very slippery, but Sooyoung's step in her ankle-high heels doesn't falter.

Sooyoung explains she wanted to apologize for what happened a while back. She was not really on her right mind, she was a bit drunk and upset over Changmin.

"It's alright," Sungmin assures. Sooyoung takes a bit of her food, chews it while looking intently at Sungmin. 

"I'm still sorry, I shouldn't have forced-"

"No, you didn't force me into anything," Sungmin cuts her off, because she really didn't. If he wouldn't have wanted to, he would have made it obvious. He wasn't the kind of person to let others take advantange of him. He had wanted it just as much as Sooyoung had. And he'd be lying if he hadn't thought about it earlier. He remembers kissing Sooyoung at a party once, and being kind of disappointed it never went any further than that. 

Sooyoung nods and eats a bit more. 

There's that voice in the back of his head again, that's always there in certain situations. It's telling him that maybe he shouldn't have done what he did, maybe he shouldn't have slept with yet another person. He always tries to comfort himself with the fact that at least he doesn't forget, he remembers everyone, he remembers how they moan and what they're into. If they receive or dominate. He feels like this way, it's not the same. Even if he sort of knows, it's the same. He's not better than anyone who forgets their one night stands on the next morning.

Sooyoung is happy after the dinner date with Sungmin, since she talked things out with him and is now certain that everything is fine. She sort of knew their friendship wouldn't get damaged for just spending a night together, but she wanted to be absolutely sure. She had always been a person who wanted to talk everything properly out instead of leaving them be. Now that she's talked with Sungmin, the next thing to do is make sure she and Changmin break up in a peaceful way. She sends him a quick text, asking if he wants to see and talk anytime soon.

The bus she's currently sitting on comes to a stop and she glances up from her phone. She's surprised to see Kyuhyun come in, and as he spots her, she waves him to sit next to her. A conversation partner is always welcome, since bus trips are extremely boring.

"Hey," she smiles and Kyuhyun nods. She noticed immediately that he's not in a talkative mood, he's downright gloomy. She sets a hand on his thigh and frowns. "Everything alright?"

Kyuhyun's startled, and he quickly looks at Sooyoung's concerned face.

"I think, yeah," he assures her, but Sooyoung's not convinced.

"There's still something on your mind...," Kyuhyun looks away. "Come on, you can tell me. You know you can trust me."

Kyuhyun hesitates. He's probably thinking about how to put out his words. Sooyoung has known Kyuhyun for a very long time, and she knows it's hard for him to open up. If there's something bothering him, he doesn't really talk about it, until someone practically forces him to tell what's wrong. Sooyoung's not as much curious as she is worried, she wishes Kyuhyun wouldn't be so shy when it comes to talking about his problems and feelings. But it's normal, she doesn't know many guys who are comfortable in sharing their deepest feelings with someone else.

"You need to promise to be quiet about this," Kyuhyun finally says.

"I promise, I wouldn't let you down like that," she replies.

"It's just that... You know I'm straight, Sooyoung. You know how I've been with Seohyun and Sunny and you remember when I had a crush on you," Kyuhyun starts. Sooyoung nods as she thinks back on the time Kyuhyun used to date Seohyun, and Sunny before that. And she remembers the time when Kyuhyun was, in fact, crushing on her, but she couldn't return his feelings as she was currently with Siwon at that time. "But, but I think. I think I have feelings for ... a boy."

"Oh?" Sooyoung would be lying if she said she wasn't surprised. Out of all the things Kyuhyun could've said, she definitely did not expect this. 

"Have you... have you ever liked a girl?" the next question catches Sooyoung off guard too, and she needs to think about it before answering.

"Maybe on some level," she admits after a moment of thinking, but hesitates a bit longer. There was a girl, an exchange student from the states. She had short hair and dressed in very androgynous clothing, her Korean wasn't the best but she was laid-back, funny and an amazing kisser. Her name was Amber and Sooyoung thinks she had kind of liked her more than a friend, even if nothing besides drunken kissing happened between them. "I think I did. Have feelings for a girl. I think, yeah."

"It's just so..." he sighs. "It's weird, I don't know what to do."

"Is the boy you like into boys too?" Sooyoung asks because she feels like it's crucial. If he's completely straight, it could make Kyuhyun feel even worse.

"He is, but... There's just a lot of things to consider and a lot of things that could go wrong and... yeah," Kyuhyun's speaking very quietly but every word is clear. 

Sooyoung feels bad for him. Even if when she's interested in someone, she lets them know right away, she feels for Kyuhyun. He's in a tricky situation, and it's always hard to accept that you're not something you supposed you were. But Sooyoung knows, that even if Kyuhyun happened to be gay, or even just bi, his friends would accept him. He just needs to learn to accept himself, and his feelings for another man.

"I see," she nods. "If I were you I'd just... tell him. I know it's not easy, but it would be a big help to get it off your shoulders, no matter if he returns your feelings or not."

"Yeah," Kyuhyun says with another nod. 

They stay quiet until Sooyoung sees it's her stop coming up, so she tells Kyuhyun she's getting off and Kyuhyun lets her step to the door. She smiles as she says goodbye and is pleased to see a shy smile shot back at her.

Ryeowook is ready to confess. He decides to do it that day.

The morning is perfect. The sun is shining, and even if it's cold, his walk to the university is very pleasant. He's smiling at everyone who comes across, he hugs all his friends he sees in the hallways, and everyone knows. He has that someone again. During lunch, Luna keeps on poking and poking him to tell her who it is, what year is the person on, and Ryeowook finally gives in and whispers Yesung's name into Luna's ear. Luna almost screams, but Ryeowook slaps his hand over to stop her from making any unnecessary noise.

"He's coming over for dinner tonight, I was planning to tell him then," he says quietly and blushes a bit, mind making up all kinds of scenarios on what would happen. Maybe Yesung will kiss him, or maybe Yesung will confess back. He's excited just thinking about it, he feels like he might have a chance, since Yesung is always so nice to him. 

He can't focus in his classes at all, and decides to skip the last one, because it's a boring one and he doesn't even share it with the same majors. The only person he knows on that course is Kris. Kris is very nice, but there's a language barrier between them since he's an exchange student and his Korean or Ryeowook's English aren't good enough yet for them to communicate smoothly. Although, the little drawings Kris doodles onto his notes are very endearing and Ryeowook finds it adorable how proud Kris is of his artistic abilities.

He stops by the grocery store because he has a great recipe in his head he's sure Yesung will love. He picks out a bottle of wine too, because you can never know where the night will lead. When he has everything he needs picked out, he rushes to the cashier and makes him smile just with the grin that's lighting up his own face.

Ryeowook can't stop smiling, he's humming little songs under his breath as he makes his way to Sungmin's place. He still has a lot of time before he needs to start preparing the dinner and he knows Sungmin has a free day today. He might as well go to his best friend's and tell him what he's planning to do today. He has a spare key since he practically lives there and he quietly opens the door, so he won't wake up anyone who might possibly be asleep still. He dumps the grocery bag into the fridge so the things he had bought won't warm up and notices that the kitchen and livingroom are empty at the same time. 

"Sungmin must be asleep," he mutters. But then, he hears a sound. It's a groan, he's certain of it, but he still thinks it's Sungmin. Probably rolling in his sleep or just waking up. There's another groan, and a whisper. Ryeowook sneaks to the door of Sungmin's room and opens it, and when he sees where the little sounds were coming from, he hopes he had never decided to open the door.

The first thing he sees is Sungmin obviously, and then he sees Yesung, and his mind registers that they're having . There's a blanket covering their bottom halves, but he knows what's happening, an idiot wouldn't know what was happening. They're all frozen, Ryeowook eyes wide and hand on the door handle. Sungmin is pale, his expression copying Ryeowook's. Yesung doesn't really understand what's going on.

Ryeowook slams the door so hard something falls off from Sungmin's shelf. Sungmin jumps up from the bed, still and hard and pulls on sweatpants from the floor and runs after Ryeowook. He catches him in the staircase and pulls on his arm to stop him, but Ryeowook pushes him away. Sungmin gets a glance at his face, he's crying, tears and snot running down his pretty face.

"Listen-" he yells after Ryeowook, who's still rushing down the stairs.

"No! No! Absolutely not! Anyone else but you," Ryeowook screams back and keeps on running. He gets outside the apartment building and Sungmin doesn't even care he's not wearing his shoes, nor socks or that he's shirtless. He just needs to make Ryeowook stop running. He catches his arm again and turns him to face him. He grabs his shoulders with both hands, forcing him to stand in his place. Ryeowook's eyes are puffy because of crying, but he's glaring at Sungmin the best he can.

Ryeowook takes a deep breath. "You ing knew. You knew that I like him, and you still, you..." Ryeowook breaks out in new tears, pushing Sungmin a step away from him. "I thought you were my best friend," he half-mutters, half-sobs, before turning around and running out of Sungmin's sight, leaving the other to stand in the cold, completely speechless.

Kyuhyun comes home, and there's no food being made. When he asks Sungmin, who's sitting on the couch, about it, Sungmin just snaps at him to make his own damn food. Kyuhyun is startled by the unusual behavior and quickly gets back to the kitchen to find a bag of instant ramen or something as easy to make, since his skills in the kitchen are pretty much non-existent.

He miraciously manages to make something to eat for himself and he cautiously sits next to Sungmin on the couch. He eats for a while - he's starving - before he tries to start a little conversation with him. "Where's Ryeowook?" he asks casually, but realizes it was a bad move, since Sungmin whips his face towards Kyuhyun, with the most murderous glare. Kyuhyun almost drops his bowl of food.

"I don't know," Sungmin drags out his words slowly and painfully, before he turns back to the TV, which Kyuhyun notices, isn't even on.

He chooses to stay quiet. It's obvious something has happened, and it's not something minor, because Sungmin is never like this. He's seen Sungmin mad only a couple of times, and even then, the older male knows how to recover quiet quickly and doesn't let his anger show through. And he would never normally talk about  Ryeowook like he was air, like he didn't care where Ryeowook was or what he was doing. He's a bit worried, okay, very worried. If something bad has happened between Ryeowook and Sungmin, it will change a lot of things. 

Kyuhyun eats silently, Sungmin doesn't even stir on his place. When the younger is done, he takes his bowl to the sink and rinses it. Taking a final glance to Sungmin he locks himself up in his room for the rest of the day, giving Sungmin the privacy he probably wants right now.

"Oh, you ed up," Eunhyuk snorts and Sungmin can't even say anything back, because, yeah, he really ed up this time. Eunhyuk gives him a sad smile after laughing, because it's not actually that funny in the end.

They're sitting on the couch of Donghae and Yesung's apartment, and none of the actual residents are even there. Although, Eunhyuk kind of already lives with them, so it's a very usual sight to see him hanging around there with no one else present. Kind of like Ryeowook. The thought makes Sungmin sick, he hasn't seen Ryewook in three days, he gets no answer to his messages or phonecalls, and all of Ryeowook's friends refuse to tell him where the younger is.

"I'm an idiot," Sungmin sighs and lies his head on the backrest of the couch. Eunhyuk hums and crosses his arms. He knows Eunhyuk wants to say something, but chooses not to. He even opens his mouth but lets the words die on his tongue. Sungmin can even guess what it's about. 

The door is suddenly opened and they both turn to see Yesung step in. Yesung greets them and takes off his coat and shoes, then comes to sit down on the armchair next to the couch. "What are you doing here?" he asks, curious, and it's directed at Sungmin. 

"He just came to talk," Eunhyuk answers for the other and Yesung nods.

"About what happened earlier?" Sungmin looks away, he really doesn't want to talk about it more. "You know, I actually want to know what happened, too." Eunhyuk looks at him with his eyebrows knitted together, he though Yesung was very much involved in the situation. Sungmin coughs. "He didn't tell me anything, just told me to leave after he came back inside," Yesung explains to Eunhyuk, and Eunhyuk faces Sungmin instead, demanding an explanation on why he did what he did. "And why did Ryeowook act like that?"

"Uh," Sungmin starts and positions himself better on the couch. "Ryeowook has a crush on you. And I knew about it, but I still slept with you."

"Oh," Yesung says simply. Both Eunhyuk and Sungmin can see he wants to say so much more than just 'oh' but he fights against letting the words get out. "That's ty." Sungmin knows this, of course he knows it's ty. He feels like the tiest person on earth right now. He let down his best friend, he failed his trust and hurt him.

"I know," Sungmin groans. "I know, I never should have... It was all such a big mistake and I-" 

"Excuse me," Yesung suddenly interrupts him before he can continue what he was about to say. "But are you saying being with me was a mistake?"

A deadly silence falls into the livingroom. Sungmin looks at Yesung with wide eyes. The older stares back, waiting for a reply, but gets nothing. Sungmin opens his mouth to say something, but only a little breath comes out. He stares at his feet on the carpet. He can't reply to that honestly, but he can't lie either. Sungmin's silence is enough of an answer to Yesung, though. 

"That's so nice to know," Yesung spits out as he gets up and walks into his room, slamming the door behind him.

Eunhyuk, who has been quiet for a while, opens his mouth after staring behind Yesung for a while. "You really ed up," he shakes his head. Sungmin looks like he's about to cry, and to be quite honest, he feels like it too.