Kyungsoo met Jongin when they were around five. He remembers playing in the sandbox alone because nobody wanted to play with him. He had adults and children alike tell him that there was something "wrong" with his mother. He couldn't figure out why that meant that he wasn't allowed to play with them.

When it became evident that no one wanted to play with him, instead of crying, Kyungsoo tried his best to adapt. He tried to enjoy playing alone, and it worked when Kyungsoo wasn't honest with himself.

Jongin is average in every way when Kyungsoo meets Jongin, he doesn't understand why Jongin of all people, is the anomaly. Jongin insists on playing with Kyungsoo, taking a little shovel in his chubby hands and digging through the sandbox with Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo doesn't complain, and he waits a few days, seeing if Jongin will leave. 

Jongin doesn't.

Kyungsoo decides to befriend Jongin because Jongin's been such a nice person to him, and he would rather have one friend, just one friend, than to have no one who cared at all.

Jongin filled the empty gap in Kyungsoo's life, and he was reassured by the fact that at least Jongin would miss him if he were to disappear.

Kyungsoo often wonders what life would have been like if his mother hadn't existed and messed up his whole friendship with Jongin.

Kyungsoo is now a more mature seventeen year old, compared to his five year old self. Almost everynight, Kyungsoo sees his mother leaving the house then return with a man in tow.

He tries to drown out the constant sounds of moans and screams, and he tries not to say anything because when his mother gets those wrinkled up bills, she always chimes, albeit sardonically, that "this was all for Kyungsoo". She said she needed to find a way to support him, he thinks its better not to point out the fact that she spends all those bills on whatever substance she can get, preferrably the ones that get you as far from reality as possible.

The strangest moments are when Kyungsoo see's his mother with some of his male classmates. He tries not to shiver, but he finds the thought of his mom and his classmates extremely disturbing. She's practically twice their age, and he just doesn't understand why they can't do with regular high school girls. 

Some of the men that come home with his mother tell Kyungsoo he looks a lot like his mom. The fact that he was told he looked like a female didn't bother him as much as the fact that they were the men that his mother brought home. Kyungsoo isn't encouraged by what those men say. He is nothing but ghostly white skin, tiny stature, and a mop of black hair. 

There were times when those men intruded into Kyungsoo's room. They whispered unrepeatable things into his ear and held him down into his mattress, but Kyungsoo would just kick them anywhere that caused immense pain and then run away. He runs all the way to Jongin's house because those are the times when his own room gets too suffocating for him.

Jongin hugs Kyungsoo and lets him fall asleep on his bed, and Kyungsoo can't be thankful enough for his existence. Jongin's a refreshing breeze in Kyungsoo's life, probably the one thing he couldn't live without. Jongin's also changed a lot from the chubby five year old Kyungsoo remembers from his childhood. He's become tan, tall and strikingly attractive. He's also become more mature. Kyungsoo remembers walking in on Jongin panting with his hands down his pants, Kyungsoo never ran out of a room faster than he did that time.

Everything falls apart one day, and Kyungsoo really couldn't have seen it coming. He is once again crashing at Jongin's house, choosing to leave his mother to her business. He is reading old comic books in Jongin's bedroom, when Jongin suddenly breaks the comfortable silence with a statement.

"Kyungsoo, you look a lot like your mom." Kyungsoo feels his whole body tense up, he doesn't like hearing that, especially from Jongin's mouth. The words don't seem like they belong.
Kyungsoo doesn't reply, he just snuggles into Jongin and puts the comic book aside. He looks up at Jongin, expecting to see Jongin's usual amused facial expression, but when Kyungsoo looks up, his facial expression is morphed into one Kyungsoo is all too familiar with. 

In that moment, Kyungsoo is suddenly reminded of the men back at home, trapping him in his own bedroom, their eyes predatory. 

Jongin doesn't say a word, just continues to stare. Kyungsoo's never felt the need to be weary around him, and the painful and terrifying realization hits him in his moment of clarity. The moment where he sees Jongin, not as the five year old, but as everyone else sees him.

In his moment of clarity, Kyungsoo catches the unmistakeable scent of his mother's perfume.

The pungent smell invaded Kyungsoo's lungs, and he wasn't sure if it was the actual smell or the realization that has him dizzy and muddled all of a sudden.

In a split second, Kyungsoo puts two and two together, and he no longer feels at home. 
Kyungsoo's had a difficult time believing in a merciful god, but right then, he prayed that he was wrong.

Kyungsoo quickly leaps out of the bed, his action alarming Jongin. Kyungsoo briskly heads for the door, Jongin becoming a terrible shadow behind him rather than the comfort he was moments before.

Kyungsoo feels a vice like grip against his wrist, and he stumbles and falls back into Jongin's solid chest, but Kyungsoo doesn't feel relieved, he just feels terribly frightened.

He never does leave the room that night.

Kyungsoo opens the front door to his house, and takes slow, sluggish steps into the living room. He spots his mother sitting on the couch, half her clothes gone and her face still betraying how broken she feels. Kyungsoo looks at his mother, and for the first time, he looks at her and thinks that he does look like her. 

He looks exactly like her. When he sees her hollowed eyes, staring at nothing and filled with emptiness, he thinks that he really does look like her.

He walks up the steps to his bedroom and looks back down one last time before locking the door.

No one would miss him anyways.