Aneurysm.  No warning, no prevention, no treatment.  He had gotten to say his goodbye, but he didn't get to hear anything in return.  Daesung had slipped into a coma, the swelling too severe, and had left them all two days later.

It had devastated everyone that knew him, but it had destroyed Seunghyun.  For weeks, he was inconsolable, the idea of doing anything more deliberate than breathing unfathomable.  He didn't think that he would survive, but the cruelty of his destiny wasn't over.  Because he did.  Bit by bit, he lived.  He remembered to get out of bed at least once a day.  He thought to shower more often than not.  He managed to keep a few bites of food down here and there.  He started to write again.  He finally left his apartment.

Months later, when he got behind the wheel of his car for the first time since, he was heading to YG, a route he knew.  Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realize he had been following the GPS until he pulled up to the building.  When he heard "You have arrived at Daesungie's" he woke from autopilot and realized what had happened.

He hadn't been here since that day, the memories and presence of him still too vivid to face.  Just being in the parking lot was enough to send Seunghyun hyperventilating.  When he calmed down enough to reach a shaky finger to delete the marker, he knew he couldn't do it.  In fact, he knew he never would.  

Four years of entering his actual destination in his phone's GPS, while his car guides him to the last place his heart was whole.  Recalculating...  

Four years of competing directions, current and forever, anytime he's driving.  Recalculating...  

Four years of being reminded how empty his life is every time he takes a turn.  Recalculating...

His friends and family have begged him to stop, saying it's dangerous.  They talk about the driving distraction, but he knows they mean it's unhealthy mentally.  Youngbae now refuses to get in the car with him, the reminder of his hyung's pain too raw and too likely to push him to question God's will one more time.

The others have said they’ll delete it themselves, but none of them has actually tried to.  It’s as if they know it too, that doing it will make it real once again.

Seunghyun knows he should stop.  He knows it's a morbid emotional fixation.  Worse, he knows Daesung would hate it, that it would wipe the adoring smile from his face.  

But he doesn't know how to bring himself to push that button.  Because it would mean shutting that part of his life down forever.  It would mean accepting that forced change in direction.  It would mean Recalculating....