Kim Joonmyeon or Suho is one of the idol in everyone mind. He’s a member of Exo which he’s a leader of Exo-K. Everyone said that he’s have everything he’s rich and they mostly don’t care about him. They said that he’s an angel with his smile. But no one know who’s really is and what is hidden understand that smile.

            No one can tell if the smile is fake or real not even his teammate who spends of their time together. They never knew what he’s been through by himself, they never even care.  Even though he have to go everything by himself he never complain or show it to the other because he’s afraid that they worries. But that’s just a reason to make him feel better, In fact he’s afraid that even he told them they won’t care about so he decide to keep it to himself.

            Everyone knows him for his smile and they gossip about him. They said that he’s rich but they never care about the good thing he’s done. The fact that he got into the best Performing art school in Seoul was never known by the public. They said that he’s a rich person in Exo. They complain about how much he spend even it’s not true. Even they made fun of him he never complain or rage at them.

            They never knew that the The people who seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive. He acted all strong and confident because he’s the leader of Exo-K so it mean that he have to take care of them well. No one knows what he’s been through by himself. He never tell them because it seem that he’s not good enough to be a leader. He never tell anyone and kept everything to himself all along. Even his teammate never cares about that he even mention it.

            The people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to be mistreat. No one knows about him alot because he’s nothing in the group compare to the other. He’s a leader but no one seem to listen to him. In a contrast from Kris who’s the leader of Exo-M. He’s not even around that much but his kid seem to respect the Chinese leader more than him.  Even he’s mistreated the most but he’s never mention it.

            The people who take care of others before themselves are usually the ones who need care the most. He was assign as the leaders of Exo-K so it means that he have to take care of the other members well. He did his best job but it seem like no one cares about him. He took care of the other kid more than himself always. He gives them privilege more than he has. He make sure that he have to do it good and took care of them well. But never notice that he’s the one that is mistreated the most. They never care about him but themselves or some of their beloved hyung only. Kai never cares about Joonmyeon eve through Joonmyeon tries the best to help him with his problem. Kai only appreciate it if it’s from his beloved KyungSoo hyung. Even no one cares about him but he never mentions it.

            The people who smile the most don’t always have a perfect life. You need to look closely behind the smile to see the pain. He’s famous because of his smile. His smile is drop dead beautiful and it help lift up the fan’s spirit but they never knows behind the smile is a scar of pain. He smiles the most in his team and he’s hold the award of the best smile ever. But deep down he’s painfully hurts. No one knows about his hidden secret the smile that tricks other to believe. He’s even award himself for being such a good actor because no one even knows. Or it because they never cares about him.  No one know that he’s even cry himself to sleep every day. No one knows about his hidden secret under the beautiful smile but he never mentions it.

            The kid never listens to him well but they listen to Wu Yifan alot more than him. He’s not jealous but he know that no one care about his existence. It seem like the group could run well even with him. After knowing this it discourage him from his work but he never cares.

            He’s pretend to be happy every time in public or reality show. The smile that he flash to the fan on camera were almost fake. He knows that his other team-mate never cares about him even through he’s dead or alive. It simply doesn’t make any different because the kids once said that Kris is more than enough for them. Even though he try to convince himself that the word won’t effect him and they just making fun of their own.

            Usually Chen, Baekhyun, Kai and Chanyeol are the one who made alot of noise mostly in the dorm. He always try to find a way to clam them down to get them into bed because he know that everyone is tired from the day and they must get some sleep for tomorrow.

            The fan seem to think that he’s a good leader who could really took care of Exo well but it turn out that they never listen to him most of the time and they even make mess around him. He some time think that he’s no use for the group also the company. He usually think that the reason the company hold him back for 7 years because he was made to become a leader for this 11 youngster.

            Even he’s not the oldest in Exo but it seem that  he held a huge responsible in the dorm and also their daily life. He have to make sure that the member are well taking care. He also have to do the paper work that the company hand them.

            He don’t know how it started but he know that he’s really tired of his life physically and emotionally

One day before the interview he have to make sure that the members are ready in their place and they have to remember what they should say and what  they don’t. Even there’s their manager but he have to do all of it himself.

As he walk around checking for any mistake made by the team he end up in front of chanbaek’s couple. They mess up their makeup because they play with their water which it is supposed for them to drink.’

“Chanyeol-ah! Baekhyun-ah stop playing look what you have done! you totally mess up the make-up and it about to started soon” he told them in a small soft voice

“We know that hyung please don’t boss us around. I know you’ve a lot of pride in yourself because you’re the leader. But please don’t be so strict! I wish you weren’t the leader of Exo-K. Xuimin-hyung or D.O should be” said Baekhyun

What did he just said? He didn’t want him as the leader. Well he know that but why should he said it out loud in public like this. Now everyone know and they won’t think of me in a good way again. I just had enough, so why don’t you pick them as your leader now?

After he mentally decided he went off the stage heading for the comfort room. He knew that they didn’t care if he’s around or not. It hurt so much because he sacrifices so much for them and he get this as a pay-back.

“Hyung--” call Lay

“Suho-ah come back he didn’t mean it like that” said Kris

“Joonmyun-ah don’t go” said  Xuimin

“See what you have done Baekhyun?” said Kris as he scold Baekhyun

“Not my fault--” said Baekhyun

But than Kai hit the back of his head hard.

“”Now baekhyun chanyeol go and fit your make-up and please someone will you go after Joonmyun. He didn’t seem like himself lately. Am worried but I have to take care of the business here” said Kris

Than Kai and Tao ran after Suho to the comfort room like Kris asked. But after that all they can do is sitting outside of the bathroom wait and pray that Joonmyun won’t do anything worthless.

Is he not good enough to be their leader? He tries so hard to suit the tittle they gave to me and he knows that it mean so much to have this position. He knows that whatever he do or his team do is his responsibility. After promise to Mr. Soo Man that he will do his best and he really done his best but they think he’s not good enough to be their leader. The entire thing he has done for them isn’t good for them. They said it themselves that they didn’t need me so why continue?

*Flash back*

-Soo Man’s office-

*knock knock*

“Come in”

Then he open the door it made Mr. Soo Man curious about why he’s here to meet him.

“Hi Mr. SooMan” said Joonmyun

‘”What get you here Joonmyun-ah?” he asked

“Er- am here to talk to you and I wants some of your advice” Joonmyun said

“What is it about?”

“It about the position in Exo. I wanted to asked you that why did you put me in this position? Why don’t you put Minseok or Kyungsoo in charge?” Joonmyun asked

“Oh- it about that again Joonmyun-ah! Did they treat you well?” he asked

“It ok but I have this thing stuck in my mind all the time and i want to asked you!”

“You know that you have talent and you’re different from the other! Why? Because you have the heart to care for the other even yourself is hurt. And after I look closely at you for some time I see that your sacrifice is precious. You gave your friend the best and you act the best. Give them what they want and help them with their problem. You try your best and you’re hard-working. That’s the reason I put you in charge not the other. These are the reason that it made you so special Joonmyun-ah” said Mr. Soo Man

“But sir it seem that they didn’t want me to be their leader--” he look down

“It seem like that but deeply in their heart they don’t mean that! Do you even heard them say that kind of thing?” he asked

“So don’t think so much Joonmyun-ah just be yourself and work hard”

“Thank you Mr it a good advice. I will take my leave now” Joonmyun said

After hearing those words encourage him do work even harder and he help with the entire problem they face. One day they end up arguing and one of the member said that why don’t he quit because he make so much problem for them which is the opposite from what really happen.

Then he went into Mr. Soo Man’s office and hand in the resignation paper but he denied it. Mr. Soo Man is really angry with the member because they said the thing which is not true at all. Well it what he think Mr. Soo Man would be thinking. Everything went well but until today.

*end of flashback*

“Joonmyun-ah you’re bad at everything. Why did you stay after hearing those words which is mention by your own group which you do so much to help” he said while looking in the mirror

“Why can’t you be like Chen Luhan Baekhyun and Kyungsoo they sing really well” he said

“Why can’t you dance like Kai, Lay Xuimin and Sehun?” he asked

“Why can’t you rap like Kris Chanyeol and Tao?” he asked

“See you’re not good at anything except from making more trouble for them? I shouldn’t do this anymore right? Why don’t you just die? Die? It a good idea since now I can’t keep up with it anymore” He decided

Than the pick up a glass from the drawer and broke it into small piece. He pick one up and held it at his wrist where all the vain and blood vessel located.

“Joonmyun- hyung” said Kai

“Are you ok gege?” said Tao

“Am—ok—go back I don’t want to talk I WANT TO BE ALONE” he said

Than they were silence Joonmyun think that they’re gone so he slides the glass over his wrist and blood run down his hand like a broken fountain.

‘Ah--” But the pain didn’t hurt as much as the pain he endure in his heart. It help him forget everything but then everything when blur and he knew it time for him to depart. He fell on the floor and knocks his head on the floor which cause him to feel uneasy.

“Good bye Exo it an honor being your leader for a short period of time but I love you guys like my family. Good Bye Everyone I’ve failed you.” He said than the darkest took over him.

*Kai’s POV*

I heard the broken of glass and it made me jump. My heart beat and it made me afraid so we ran to the bathroom and asked him.

“Joonmyun- hyung” i asked

“Are you ok gege?” said Tao

“Am—ok—go back I don’t want to talk I WANT TO BE ALONE” he said

What wrong with him? And I knew that the broken glass is not an accident because I know Joonmyun he’s careful with everything.

I waited outside of the bathroom with Tao but we didn’t talk because Joonmyun said he wanted to be alone. I hope he’s ok! Baekhyun shouldn’t said that but it’s not what he think but because he’s so angry with Chanyeol hyung who played too much.

“Kai do you think we should just break the door?” asked Tao

“Yeah I think so! If  he don’t come out in 5 more minute we’re going to break in because Joonmyun-ah never late for the shooting.” I said

-4mn-

-5mn-

-7mn-

-10mn-

“Tao let break into the room now am worry.” I said

Than he knock on the door.

“Gege it’time” said Tao

“Hyung!” i said

“Hyung”

“Hyung!!!!!”

“HYUNG ARE YOU OK?”  

 No reply so we broke the door. We’re both white as ghost as he broke the door I see Joonmyun-hyung lay on the floor with broken glass scatter on the floor around him. Bloods are flood the floor and his face is so pale it mean that he lost alot of bloods.

“Gege--” Tao shout and he broke down

“HYUNG-” I ran to him and pick his hand up and use some towel to stop the wound from bleeding. His blood is all over me and my body. Tao came close and shake Joonmyun but I stop him.

“TAO STOP THAT! YOU’RE KILL HIM. NOW GO TO THE OTHER AND TELL BRING THEM HERE” i said

He sobbed and ran swiftly out of the door heading to the set.

“Hyung--” i said

“Hyung can you hear me? HYUNG DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE US ALONE! HYUNG BE STRONG I’LL TAKE YOU THE HOSPITAL” I shout at him

Then I heard a loud voice from outside of the room with the members, director and mangers crowed around.

“HYUNG”

“HYUNG”

“HYUNG”

“HYUNG”

“HYUNG”

“Joonmyun-ah”

“STOP IT EVERYONE. CAN ANYONE CALL 911” i asked

“I’ve called them thet said they’ll be here in a second” said Xuimin

*fast forward*

-The hospital-

I stood there like a dead person in front of the room. The doctors rush into the room after we sent him in. Please Joonmyun-hyung you can’t leave us like this. We need you, I need you.

 Everyone covered their face with they hand they murmur something to themself. Tao is crying in Kris’s arm saying that it his fault. He said that he could prevent it if he broke in faster. Baekyun is kneeling in front of the room with Chanyeol at his side. He said that it’s his fault which put his best friend and a leader in this situation. Xuimin Lay Chen sit next to each other crying out loud and Chanted some prayer. D.o stared blankly at the floor with tears flows out of his eyes. Sehun and Luhan buried their head together and cried all day long without saying anything. I stood there crying with my back against the wall. I could help him if I broke into that room sooner. If anything happen to Joonmyun he’s going to die after him.

Then Mr. Soo Man ran into the hall with the other people from different group.

“Is he ok Kai?” asked Mr. Soo Man

“We don’t know yet the doctors have been in there for a long time.” I answer no one bother to bow at him.

“I knew this would happen--” Mr. Soo Man look down on the floor

“What are you saying” I asked

“He’s been talking to me about this stuffed for some time but I’m sorry I  didn’t tell you guys. He also asked to resign but I said no who knew he’s going to do like this!”

After that they doctor came out of the room.

“He need some bloods. Type AB. We don’t have any of those left. Do anyone it? It better if we put in AB blood but i there’s no I will but the other type in.” he said

“I have” said Tao with his swallon eyes.

“Let go than” said the doctor

I wished I have this type of blood so I can help him but I don’t.

After than Tao came back crying again.

“Tao what happen?” I asked

“Am afraid—what if he don’t make it?” He said

“He will because he help everyone. He’s done alot of good thing.” I said.

I wish i ture......

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It doesn't end here yet so please give me some advice and comment ok it made me wanted to write more

the other story will update later.... <3