Review 1: Princessamy : Longing For A Pulse (Octy08)
Octy's Review & Beta Shop | Closed Permanently! | Moved To R&B ShopFirst Impressions:
Before I say anything that might hurt anyone's feelings, let me just say that I'm an Exo stan so please don't hate on me should you feel hurt by what I'm about to say in the next few lines. I have to be honest here. When I first saw your story, I groaned. Because there are a lot- and I mean A Lot- of Exo fanfics on AFF so I kind of dreaded reading it because I've already read so many of them. I got really stereotypical and thought your story would be just like other Exo fanfics. Apart from that, I don't usually read angst because I tend to get really emotional so it took me quite a while to persuade myself to read it. But hey, this is only a first impression and first impressions usually change right? ;)
Title:
Remember when I said I dreaded reading your story? Well, that changed when I saw your title, 'Longing for a Pulse'. It intrigued me in a way and made me want to know more about your story. I also did a search for stories with the same title as yours but found none; which is good because a reader like me would usually ignore stories with common titles. Readers want titles that stand out from others and get readers curious about the whole story plot. And your title did just that :)
Description & Foreword:
In your description, you used a song format. Now here's one thing you need to know about song formats; less is more. Story descriptions should make readers curious and entice them to read the the story. Using two songs defeat the whole purpose of a description because it would give a readers a stop-and-start feel, if you know what I mean. Maybe you could pick an excerpt from both songs and merge them together? I actually tried doing it and came up with this.
I hadn't even spoken the words, I just let you go
My late confession, can you hear it?
I love you
I love you, so I hold back
- "Because I Miss You" by Jung Yong Hwa
- "Only Tears" by Infinite
I'm not saying you must change your description to that though; it's just a suggestion that I thought you could use :)
To be honest, your foreword had more feel and was definitely better, compared to your description. Even so, there were parts where your sentences were unclear and hard to understand. At one point, you kind of lost me and I had to re-read the foreward again. But then, a particular sentence brought me back on track and I was simply mindblown by that one sentence; Every heart needs a pulse and every person needs a reason to live. I was really wowed by it, really. I just love that sentence.
Originality, Plot & Flow:
When it comes to originality, you definitely have it. See, I spend a lot of time reading fanfics on AFF and I have to say that your plot is definitely something I have yet to come across. Your plot is uncommon and stands out from most of the other angst stories I have read. It isn't cliche' and neither is it cringe-worthy. Okay so here's one thing about me; whenever
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