November 19, 2009

 9:00AM, my apartment

 

 My mothers visited me. And by that, I meant my mom and Sooyoung's mom. Mother-in-law SoAe and my own Hyunyoung walked through the front door looking like queens. Queen who were about to announce a royal decree, by the way they greeted us and frog-marched us into the living room. We sat opposite them (on Sooyoung's sofa, because she declared mine 'uncomfortable' and threw it out) waiting for some sort of verdict.

 

 "We want grandchildren."

 

 Ohbollocksmotherfu-

 

 Okay, calm down. They might... forgive me for not having with my own wife yet because... well it's easier to put into flashback.

 

 Flashback

 

 "Do you want children?" I asked her, my arms folded. She looked back at me, surprised. She then stood up straight and tucked a hair behind her ear, clearly delaying for time. 

 

 She then nodded, "Yeah. I love children so I would really like one."

 

 "With me?"

 

 "Of course with you," she said, frowning. "You're my husband; I'm not going to go back on my marital vows. Not now," she walked towards me and put her arms around my neck. "Not ever. I'm sorry we got married so suddenly, and I know we didn't see each other long. But I promise I'll make it up to you." she smiled, and she looked like she really did mean it. And that makes things kind of stable, for a while.

 

 "But it means ," I told her. She looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world. "Which means, we'll have to have eventually. And are you going to be comfortable with that, when the time comes?"

 

 She finally understood and made an 'O' shape with . She scratched her head and looked around, like the cardboard box is suddenly going to read 'This Way Up for a Baby'. I'm really interested with what she has to say, so I just remained silent. Finally, she looked back at me. "Can we do a one-month trial?"

 

 "Like 3 months of free movies trial?" I asked in a dry tone. She smiled a little.

 

 "No, like... I need at least a month to find out who you are," she replied.

 

 "Don't you think that's something you should've thought of when you dragged me to the Magistrate's Office?"

 

 She paused. "Yeah! But... I was in a hurry to marry you."

 

 The casual way in which she talked about marriage with me was just... a little bit too casual. So I stood up a little straight and folded my arms across my chest. "Then do you think I'm gonna wait to take you?"

 

 I didn't expect her to blush and stare at the floor with laser in her eyes. She started shufling her feet and mumbling something incoherent. "Sorry, what was that?" I asked her, stepping closer.

 

 "I said you'll have to wait," she said a little louder, but her eyes were still glued to the ground. I stooped a little so that I'm eye-levelwith her. I tapped her once on the shoulder and peered into her eyes when she looked up. Leaning in, just because I can, I used that voice that many women really liked.

 

 "You have one month to get to know me," I said. "After that, I'm going to take what I should have had the night you married me."

 

End of Flashback

 

Okay, I'm not proud of myself for being so pig headed. But seriously, what kind of man doesn't want to jump into bed with a woman who forced him to marry her and not expect ? Or maybe I was being a tad bit casual about this and I should forgive her slightly because... well, why the hell did she marry me?! She can't not feel the electricity between us because there is something there. Like before we were even married, when she would look up and smile at me and I'd take a hold of her hand and place a kiss on the back of it, I could feel goosebumps on her skin and her smile become just a tad more dreamy. Or when she would approach me from behind and hug me, then we'd greet each other and proceed with a date. Now that I think of it, there's been many times when we just sort of... fit. I looked at her, question marks surely replacing my pupils. Did you feel anything for me at all? But these questions have to wait because... we need to answer my mothers' questions.

 

 "Have you had with Sooyoung yet?" SoAe asked. My eyes widened like saucers and Sooyoung made some sort of mumbled statement, shifting closer to my side and hiding her head slightly. There you go again! Doing something that makes me question your affections! Do you love me or not!? Goddamnit, why can't I just ask her? Why is it that I-

 

 "Answer your mother-in-law Minnie," my mother said, her eyes hardening. I gulped. Now I want to shift closer to Sooyoung and hide my head behind her.

 

 "Ah, right," I began, looking at Sooyoung for answers. She merely stared back, her face also looking as confused as mine. "Well, we thought we'd give ourselves some time to... you know, settle in with each other. We want to give each other some space before we try bringing another life force into this world..." I trailed off with a nervous laugh because it looks like both women were staring us down. And they were both shorter than Sooyoung and I. We were getting pummelled by a couple of Hobbits.

 

 "We also want to buy you both a new house," my mother said. She looked around at my (clean, since Sooyoung moved in) apartment and sighed. "This apartment is not going to be big enough for both of you and children darling."

 

 I stared at her. "How many are you expecting?" because in my defence, my apartment is very big. It's got three bedrooms, the living room is bigger than my mother's and I have no idea why she thought my apartment was 'not going to be big enough'. If anything, it's too big.

 

 The grandmother-wanna-bes looked at each other in excitement. Clearly, they've been plotting this visit for a while. "We want at least five grandchildren. But anything above that would be absolutely lovely, I as-"

 

 "Five?!"

 "Are you serious?!" Thank God it wasn't just me who thought that was ridiculous. Five children is just ridicu- but then again, no barrier for five children with Sooyoung... not bad at all... Oh , she saw my expression change. Quick Min, put your poker face on, poker face on-

 

 "Are you seriously contemplating this?!" she screamed at me. I cleared my throat and tried to find a comeback for that. But I was already planning my moves on her. My mothers were just chatting with each other now as they let us duke it out. Oh great job, you've started World War III. And Hitler was currently glaring at me and was about to launch into another round of screaming. "You can't just expect me to squeeze out five kids, I have a career! I don't even know where to start-"

 

 "Jagiya," I said to try and soothe the situation. For some strange reason, she liked me calling her that. But today, I'm gonna need honey with freakin' ten shots of vodka to calm her down.

 

 "Don't jagiya me!" she yelled. "I'm not going to give up my career for the sake of being a housewife!" and she stormed out! Like it was my fault. Okay, she needs to... have someone close to her because otherwise she does something unpredictable. Before I can run after her though, my traitorous mothers stood up and dusted themselves off.

 

 "We will look forward to the babies my darling," my mother said, taking SoAe by the arm and leading her out. "Remember to pick a korean name; I'm not sure I like the thought of calling my grandchildren 'Jake' or 'Leah'. I'd like my Korean grandchildren to stay Korean, if that's alright."

 

 "Oh my dear Hyunyoung, you're absolutely right," SoAe said. As they disappeared out the door (before creating such a massive row between me and Sooyoung), I could still hear them discussing baby names and the timetable to look after them. I huffed and smacked a pillow on my face. How the hell was i meant to soothe this over? I'm pretty sure I didn't like her upset, and most of all, I hated her upset with me. But I also want children, and I did give her exactly one month to this day. Does she like me enough to create new people with me? I sighed and got up, trying the kitchen first. When I got married to her, I vowed to make her happy. I can't remember if it was in the actual marital vows, but I'm going to follow up on that vow. I was going to be the husband that makes her happy. So... if she wants to wait for a whole month more... that's absolutely fine with me. Even if she didn't love me (yet), I loved her. And she's going to have to be happy whether she liked it or not.

 

 "Sooyoung?" I called out. Nope, not in here. I tried the guest bedroom and I even checked the bathrooms. No one in there. I peeked into my room and saw her on my bed, with the pillow tucked underneath her chin. I haven't even seen her face yet but I could tell she was miserable. I closed the door quietly, and crawled next to her. What the hell do husbands do at this moment? So I settled for what I like doing most; her hair. Why was she so against children with me? She told me she'd like them with me... "What's wrong hon?"

 

 She sniffed. My eyes widened; she's been crying! Panic was starting to show itself. My hand retreated from her hair and gripped my knee instead, waiting for her to say something. A few minutes silence ticked past and she sat up, my pillow still tucked under her chin. "I'm sorry." she mumbled, utter misery in her voice. It made something break inside me, so I pulled her closer and pulled her on my lap. When I was a kid, my mother would do the exact same thing and rock backwards and forwards. This would always calm me down when I was upset, so I figured it would do the same for her. It seemed to work because she discarded the pillow and hugged me instead. Through all this confusing sadness, I was smiling a little from contact with her.

 

 "What's wrong?" I asked her, trying my best to comfort her by rubbing circles into her back.

 

 She rested her chin on my shoulder, and I could still feel her cheeks are wet. "I can't have children."

 

 "Well we'll never know if we can't try," I told her.

 

 "No! No, I meant... I meant I can't have children," she said, her voice quivering slightly. Oh. So... she would like children but it seems that she can't have them... why?

 

 "Why?"

 

 "Because my fallopian tubes are blocked!" she wails and starts crying again. I make shushing noises but was confused by why she was upset. By profession, I was a doctor. Yeah, I know it's weird. I seem like the most idiotic of people but I have a M.D. At first I only did it because I thought ladies liked it (they did) but in the end, I liked being able to help people. And Sooyoung... a blocked fallopian tube was not really that much of a deal anymore since IVFs began. I felt like she was being too hard on herself.

 

 "Darling, we can try for IVF," I said gently. Without getting too medical, we only need some eggs and some and implant them into her womb, and that was that. A few months and there's sure to be some babies made. "I don't see why-"

 

 "I feel like I'm a failure as a wife," she cried, still sobbing. "We both expected children, and because I've known from a young age that I can't expect children naturally. I should've told you but I married you so quickly and and... And I just feel so overwhelmed by all this, and I-" she broke off and she whimpered, signalling another wave of tears. I pulled her closer and kissed her neck gently, rocking her backwards and forwards.

 

 "You're a great wife," I said, picking my words carefully. "And I'm sure you'll be a great mother. I can't remember how many times I see you around children and think 'Wow, she's gonna smother our children'." She giggled slightly, and pulled back to look at me. In her eyes I could see questions and a need for reassurance. I smiled back at her and kissed her falling tears. "Don't you look forward to smothering our children?"

 

 She paused. "I can't wait to smother them." she admitted. She laughed at her own response and I joined in, because at least she's a lot happier now. Seeing Sooyoung smile always makes me smile.

 

 "It's not your fault Soo, and I'd like you to remember that."

 

 "I know." Sniff. "But I just felt bad for-"

 

 "I'm sure you had your reasons, and I understand why," I said. "It's fine. We've only been together for a few months. Please stop blaming yourself; we'll have children very soon, I promise."

 

 "Then we have to start talking baby names," she said, smiling even wider now.

 

 "Our mothers won't accept international names, I'm just warning you," I said, grinning.

 

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 November 30, 2009

 

 Back to work! Around 8 in the bloody morning.

 

Well, I'm back to work. As I've mentioned, I am a doctor. Doctor Shim, as they call me, or to the children I'm Uneven Eyes. They gave me a month to take time off work and get settled in with my wife (it wasn't even procedure, my boss is just a really wedding-loving person). When I announced my elopement, the entire establishment pushed me out of the door and told me not to come back until a month had passed. "Bring your wife in so we can meet her!" my boss yelled. Speaking of my boss, here she comes now.

 

 Boa-sunbaenim was the loudest, most determined person I've ever met. She made it as one of the hospitals' Chied Residents in five years, which was very impressive for a twenty-six year old. And the fact that she was only five foot one. But anyway, she gave me the biggest hug and welcomed me back to 'Hell', as she called it. "Where is your gorgeous wife?" she asked, excited at the prospect of new friends. I told her she was busy and couldn't come in to waste her time with Boa. She swatted me playfully and pouted. "You know how much I like making new friends right? And I'm sure your lady will be a wonderful friend."

 

 I nodded, hating myself for smilng like an idiot. "Yes, Sooyoung makes a great wife."

 

 "You must have her come in some day!" she said, looking like an impatient five year old. 

 

 "I promise," I grinned and waved at her, getting paged to take around a group of medical students on their first year. After thatw as over, I was called down to ER because there wasn't enough doctors on hand, and after that, I had to go around the new patients and examine their diagnosis. It was a very fast life, but I loved the energy and the exhaustion I felt in the end, because I knew it was worth it. I knew that every time I checked on someone, or taught new students, I was helping create a difference in someone's life. I loved that thought, and it was why I ultimately slaved away half my life for it.

 

 Fast forwards to nine in the evening, and I was waving goodbye to my colleagues. Exhausted, but still gld to be back. I almost passed out on the couch once I got home. And to Sooyoung's credit, the couch was more comfortable. Sooyoung comes in, and I raise my head to say hi. She was dressed in pyjamas, and held a toothbrush in one hand. She smiled. "The bed is much more comfortable, I assure you."

 

 I just grunted. "The couch will do just fine."

 

 "Not while I'm around," she said and pulled me off the couch. That girl is strong, and she effortlessly pulls me off and hauls me onto her shoulders. "Come on, brush your teeth and let's sleep, okay?"

 

 "Are you my mother?" I asked sleepily. When I yawned she only proceeded to take my upstairs and dump me in front of a sink.

 

 "In the mean time, yes," she said, filling a cup full of water for me. "And besides, you look pretty hot in your doctor's lab coat."

 

 That definitely got my attention. "Hm?" my mouth full of toothpaste, that was the only thing I could manage. She giggled and kissed the side of my temple.

 

 "Hurry up and come to bed, I'm sleepy."

 

 I spit the toothpaste out. "You're sleepy?" I snorted and rinsed my mouth. After I changed just to my boxers (I no longer cared if I slept in just my boxers around her) I crawled into bed with her. Again on my left side, she rested her head on top of my chest.

 

 "Did you have a good day today sweetie?"

 

 "Mm."

 

 "When are you going to show me off to your colleagues?"

 

 "Whenever you'd like."

 

 "You must really want to sleep now."

 

 I rolled to my side and hugged her closer, using her neck as my pillow. "And you must stop talking now, or I'll have to kick you out of bed." Her only response was to wrap her arms around my shoulders.

 

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