As I was saying, I started to really think. I thought about the happier times when I was still at home. Back then, I did not have that much time to practice. In order to have completed my high school diploma in two years while the rest of the population took at least four, I had to study a great deal; my father insisted that I retain at least an eighty-six percent for all of my courses (which was absurdly difficult considering my age as well as the fact that they were all higher leveled courses). Trust me, that was hard, but at least it was fair. The more you studied the better grades you received—with the exception of English and Physical Education. Here, though, I felt as if I was just a mouse stuck in a vast jungle, where every other mouse just scurried around for themselves, eating all the food they could get their hands on whether it be lice, maggots, or rotten carrots.

I decided to go on a walk. Those always helped when your mind was a huge bundle of mush. Luckily for me, the conservatory was right beside this vast forest that stretched on for several miles. It reminded me of the forest back home, and my head lowered in nostalgia.

“Jaejoongie!”

I knew that voice. My head whipped around and I came face to face to my piano professor, almost bumping into him. I covered my eyes as if I was scratching them, and hoped that they were not red and puffy.

“Hi Prof—Yunho,” I greeted awkwardly.

Yunho chuckled. “Out on a walk, now, aren’t you?”

I nodded.

“That’s good. Even the most hardworking pianist should always have some time off.”

I agreed politely.

“So,” Yunho flashed a dazzling smile at me, making me blush even harder, “How are you finding conservatory life?”

‘ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE,’ I wanted to scream out. “It is quite incredible,” I lied with a huge Cheshire Cat smile on my face. “The people here are quite nice, the pianos are amazing, and I’m having a great time here. Life itself is great.”

Yunho’s smile vanished as he looked into my eyes, and I tensed as he seemed to study them with extra detail. ‘Were they still red?’ “Good,” he finally said with a regal nod. “Just remember that you could always come to me for help if you need it.”

“I know that, but I do not want to be a burden to—”

Yunho put his finger on my lips as if to silence me. I felt my face turn a deep shade of red. “You worry too much, Jaejoongie.”

I could still feel the rough texture of his finger on my lips even as he retracted his arm. “Well, I’m on a walk as well. We’ll go together and I’ll buy you ice cream on the way or something.”

I widened my eyes. “Oh, um, no it’s okay, y-y-you don’t need to buy me—”

Once again he had his finger on my lips. I felt dizzy at the touch and gulped. “We’ll call it a temporary farewell present,” he stated simply. “I’m leaving today, remember?”

My face fell. Yunho was leaving for a month or so. Right.

We walked slowly and there was an awkward gap between us that bothered me. Yunho did not seem to mind at all, much to my relief. I stole glances at him whenever I thought he was not looking.

“You hear the birds?” he suddenly asked.

I nodded.

“Listen to the pitches and look at the respective birds. What do you notice?”

I listened. “Littler birds have sharp and high pitches while the bigger ones have lower and mellower ones.”

“Good ear. Why do you think that is so?”

I knitted my eyebrows together. “Scientifically and biologically, their vocal cords and larynx were just formed like that over the years of their evolution. The littler birds have smaller vocal cords that produce higher pitches and the bigger birds have larger vocal cords that produce lower pitches.”

Yunho chuckled. “I asked ‘Why do you think this is so?’, not ‘How do you think this is so?’ Try again. WHY do you think that the littler birds have shriller voices than the larger ones?”

I blinked rapidly. “I-I’m not sure. I never t-thought of it before.”

“Do you know what I believe?” Yunho’s face brightened into a melancholy smile. “The littler ones could represent little kids. Very little naïve children who know nothing about reality, living in their own utopian lives that they built for themselves. Sharper voices with high pitches seem louder to the ear, am I right? Therefore, one could deduce that these little birds trust their environment, and are not afraid to announce their presence.”

I could only watch my professor in awe.

“Larger birds, on the other hand, could represent adults, or children in the process of becoming adults. They shy away with their lower, more cautious voices, and hide in the trees as best as they can. They are not able to live in peace in their environment in fear of any external attacks, nor are they confident enough to depend on themselves for defense when the time comes for them to fight back. Reality scared them away. They lost self-confidence, they lost their innocence, and they lost their happiness.”

I blinked rapidly.

“Most unfortunately, Jaejoongie,” Yunho turned to look me in the eye, “They lost trust. They lost trust in their environment as well as in themselves.”

“Trust?” I tilted my head. “You know, most people would think the most devastating thing to lose is true love.”

Yunho laughed heartily, staring straight ahead again. “Sometimes, Jaejoongie, to be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.”

I thought about it for a moment and eventually nodded. “Yah.”

My piano professor’s face darkened. “I have seen many students here. They came here, naïve and gullible, and most of all, optimistic. After four years, I do not recognize them anymore. They have become ruthless brutes, living through life like a mistrustful maniac, thinking that everybody was conspiring against them. They lost their naivety and became more mature, I admit, but they also lost their innocence and happiness.” Yunho tilted his head so that our eyes met. “They lost their faith and their trust in the world.”

“That’s very sad,” I said with genuine sorrow in my face.

“Yes,” he agreed, “Yes it is.”

“You knew people like this?” I could not refrain from asking.

Yunho nodded slowly, even hesitantly. “Many. I remember this one boy the most clearly, though. His name was Yoochun.”

I decided to hide the surprise that coated my face. “Yoochun?”

“Yes. He was around your age when he came here. Such a sweet young lad, and he played brilliantly. Although he was never my student, he had master classes with me, and never failed to melt my heart every time he smiled. He smiled just like you, you know.”

Yoochun? Smiling? I couldn’t fathom the thought of the creature that almost killed me being a sweet young boy whose smile melted the hearts of all who knew him.

“I watched him grow up here, and the result was just heart-wrenching. His smiles became less usual, he never laughed anymore, and all he did was practice. His playing, which used to be filled to the brim with laughter and playfulness, was suddenly full of hate and sorrow. Then there came the day when one of my students, Changmin, came running towards me with tears in his eyes.” Yunho swallowed. “His hand was bleeding and he had to have it bandaged for a week before he could start practicing again. He told me that Yoochun had put six blades in the piano.”

I blinked back my tears.

“At first I did not believe it, and scolded Changmin for being so careless and jumping to conclusions like that. Even when others started telling me the exact same story, I just could not bring myself to believe that Yoochun did it. I did not want to believe that the sweet little boy who I watched grow up would turn out like that. I needed to make sure of it myself, so I turned to Junsu. He was dating Yoochun back then, and never spoke anything but good about him. I was sure that he knew practically everything about Yoochun. I was right.” Yunho’s voice cracked. “Junsu did know. I invited him over to my house and got him inebriated on alcohol. I was wrong to do such a rotten thing, but I could not stand doubting the fact that the naïve boy I knew was corrupted. I asked him questions regarding Yoochun and the answers shocked me.”

*Flashback*

“Why do people worry all the time? Everything’s going to work out!” Junsu cried out drunkenly for the fifth time in a row.

“Junsu, how is Yoochun?” Yunho asked seriously.

“Yoochun? My boyfriend? That Yoochun?” Junsu giggled girlishly. “Oh he is amazing! I just love him to death!”

“Does he do anything to you that is unethical?”

“Nope! He is just the gentleman!” The squeaky-voiced man hiccupped.

“Does he do anything to others that is unethical?”

“Not too much!” Junsu slurred. “Just a few blades here and there. He’s getting worse, though!” Junsu laughed, totally fogged up under the influence of alcohol.

“How much worse?” Yunho’s voice was shaky.

“Oh, he beat up this kid until there was blood coming out of his nose *hiccup* just because he was using his practice room! He bawled SOOOO loud *hiccup*!!!”

“What else?” A single teardrop trickled down the professor’s face.

“Last week, he broke a girl’s finger!” Junsu laughed heartily. “Isn’t that SOO—*hiccup*—OO funny!?! She had to leave the school *hiccup* before Yoochun could do anything else to her.”

Yunho’s face hardened. “Junsu, are you SURE Yoochun is not hurting you?”

“Unless he’s drunk, nope!” Junsu passed out immediately after he blurted out that sentence, while Yunho felt his heart breaking piece by piece.

*End of Flashback*

I was totally speechless, as was Yunho who was controlling himself so as not to cry in front of me.

Impulsively, I tugged at his sleeve like a little child. “You could cry, you know. I won’t laugh, I promise!”

Yunho looked at me as if he were surprised, and then burst into laughter. “You are very sweet,” he said in his deep voice as he cupped my cheek with the palm of his hand.

Blushing, I smiled and then his eyes softened. “Why did you tell me about this?”

Yunho hesitated before answering, “I trust you.” All of a sudden he looked so old.

“Yunho, may I ask you a question?”

“Ask away.”

“How old are you?”

Yunho stopped dead in his tracks so suddenly that I almost regretted asking him that, and seemed to ponder over the question as if someone asked him what the meaning of life was. Heck, this question seemed harder to him than that of the meaning of life!

Finally he grinned and turned to face me. “I may seem sixty, I may act six, but my old age cannot be fixed.”

I puffed up my cheeks, making him laugh again.

“Come on,” he said, taking my hand in his, “I’ll buy you ice cream.”

I could only flush at our linked hands and followed him towards the ice cream stand.

```

Yunho left for Japan three hours later. He had everything packed, from sheet music to his clothes, and I watched discreetly as he hailed a cab to take him to the airport. Unknown to him (or perhaps he did know), he accidentally brought an extra item along: my heart.

Yes, in addition to having a huge chocolate smudge on the side of my mouth, I realized that I was in love with Jung Yunho, and that I had two people to blame for it: Cupid and his little brother, Bad Timing.

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Thank you to Rainy Fae from arstyasiancrew.co.nr for making the poster for me!
I made the background and adjusted a few things on the poster but otherwise, let's give Rainy Fae a huge round of applause!
*big applause*
Well, thank you for all of your comments.
@Didi, I have one shred of advice for you: Be happy =)

Argh, I just got back from my university audition (I'm going to be a music major).
To make a long story short, I played horribly lol, and totally screwed up the oral test when it was actually super easy.
Ah well, it's over and I'll be able to update quicker!!!