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Belonging to a well-off family, Jongin's future was planned long before he even spoke his first word.
His early years was like the movies we use to watch, the protagonist doing the thing he needs to do, and hides the thing he wants.
He had no options but to meet his father's high expectations, which went even higher after the divorce when Jongin was still small and seven.
 

He finished his studies with undoubtedly high honors.
His father was proud and blissful, but Jongin felt an empty space in his heart, like a black and white television.

Few months, Jongin buried his mind and soul in business to take the idea of his old passion away from his thoughts.
He worked from dusk to dawn.

But things started to turn around when he circumstantially heard Kyungsoo's melodious voice upon passing by a bar after work.
 

Everything stood still. Something in his mind said that he needed to go, but his heart did not allow his feet to continue its way.
How can someone's voice be as sweet as a Caramel Macchiato?
 

His lips curved, for the very first time after a  long time.
Until then, a day had not passed for Jongin without having a glimpse of the boy's performance, and then calling it a day.

He's singing.
The dumbfounded guy whispered to himself as he gazes at the singer on stage, examining every single inch of his face, taking no notice of the distance between them.
 

Jongin could not resist the voice entering his ears, passing through his mind, and waking up his heart.
His eyes met the singer's.
 

He gulps. His heartbeat stops for a while.
 

Do Kyungsoo finished his song with a nice innocent smile.
 

Jongin's heart melted, like everytime he gets to see that smile after every heartwarming performance of Kyungsoo.
 

He was contented watching Kyungsoo.
He was happy seeing his smile.
He was thankful for the short conversations they have had.
But he was sad, because that was just it.

Time Flew. Days passed. Jongin's absent record in Kyungsoo's performances is still zero.
Even Jongin's past two birthdays were spent there, which in between was when his father passed.
The feeling of loss was an absolute pain, but was made lighter by the growing bond of friendship between him and Kyungsoo.
 

They became friends.and then closer.
 

So then, Kyungsoo started gazing at Jongin during his soulful performances.
Kyungsoo began to smile at him.
Their conversations became longer, longer than ever before.
 

And without the need of saying, something inside them knew that they meant something special to each other.

Every after Kyungsoo's performance in the bar, the two would hang out and do what other free students do.
 

They would play in the park and push each other on the slides.
They would throw snow to each other until they have to stop and catch their breaths.
They would ring every doorbell of all the homes and dash away as the sleepy citizens try to catch and beat them up. 
They would go to buildings' rooftops and shout at the top of their lungs.
They would go buy random things in Myeong-Dong.
They would go to Kyungsoo's place, Kai would put every bit of his feeling to his dance as Kyungsoo sings.
 

And some nights, they just spend a nice and quiet quality time at Jongin's place.
They would flee like how the birds enjoyed their freedom in the sky with a near view of the blazing sun.
 

Yes, Jongin was often scolded because of his imprudent acts. But to someone who have seeked and found color in his life, Jongin cannot risk losing it, for just a damn wealth.

In the first place, it was not what he wanted, and most especially, not what he needed.
 

Yes, he turned his back against everything for someone, DO KYUNGSOO.

Jongin made what he can consider the biggest decision in his life.
 

He gathered all his courage.

Jongin was staring at Kyungsoo one Saturday night when they were at his place to watch a movie.
The lights were softly dazzling.
 

Kyungsoo focused his all to the movie, but was still able to sense the pair of eyes staring at him.
"Hey, we're supposed to watch a movie, not each other." Kyungsoo said in a low voice without taking his eyes off the screen, hugging a pillow and biting his thumb like a small kid being scolded.

Jongin chuckled.
 

"Don't mind me, I think this is a better view." he smiled. A smile from the heart that shouts the name of the better view he was referring to.
 

"Okay." Kyungsoo reached for the remote and paused the movie.
 

Facing Jongin,, Kyungsoo neared his face to the taller guy's, barely neeting his nose.
"Like the view?" Kyungsoo teased.
 

Jongin was caught off guard. He immediately looked away and played the movie.
 

Kyungsoo dissolved into laughter.
"You have to look at your face right now. You look so funny!" he said while getting a hold of his stomach.
 

Jongin just stared at Kyungsoo.
He had a smile on and chuckled.

"I like you."
 

Kyungsoo was still laughing and hardly pronounced the word "what?"
 

"I like you."
Those words narrowly processed in Kyungsoo's mind.
 

"You? me?" Kyungsoo was in awe.
"Yes" Jongin 
"..." Kyungsoo couldn't grab any word to utter. "Okay." he simply said.
"Okay? Okay what? I don't get it." The confused Jongin asked.
 

The night ended like how every fairytale does.
 

Kyungsoo heard the words he had been waiting for.
Jongin heard the reply he wanted from Kyungsoo.
 

Everything was unimaginably perfect.

Not so long, Jongin once again composed himself, and asked Kyungsoo a bigger question, which is to stay by each other's side for the rest of their lives.
Kyungsoo could not believe what was happening, but managed to give Jongin his yes.

After promising infinty to each other at the altar, the two became even happier, protagonizing in their own happy world.
 

The two continued with their daily routine.
Work in the morning, together at night.
But this time, the things they did was made even more special, as if there was no tomorrow.
 

No word, even love, can describe how they felt for each other.
 

Jongin, with his knowledge and skills, built a company, which then became one of the most well-known in Asia.
 

Supporting Jongin was Kyungsoo, who continued singing, living a simple life.
Jongin managed to get a home for him and Kyungsoo, as he promised.

"Welcome home." Jongin whispered as he uncovered Kyungsoo's eyes.
"This is our home?" Kyungsoo stepped in, one at a time, slowly taking in what's on sight.
Jongin rested his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder and hugged him from the back. "Yes. Do you love it?" 
 

Kyungsoo could not respond immediately.Yet he was able to nod.
Kyungsoo faced Jongin who still had his arms wrapped around the his waist. He cupped Jongin's face.
 

Jongin pecked Kyungsoo's forehead.
Then his nose.
Then his cheek.
Jongin looked at Kyungsoo intently, and slowly, he lowered his head and gave Kyungsoo a warm kiss.

Everything went well, and the two wished nothing more.
 

But as photos fade to grey, so did their relationship slowly, very slowly, first lost its light, then lost its track.
Their bond hung by a thread, a thin, thin thread.

Jongin was always piled up with office work.
It couldn't be helped. He needed to work for Kyungsoo, so he could give him the things he promised.
 

His number of absences in Kyungsoo's performances started to increase, from 2 per week, to 4, until he was only available to attend once per week, sometimes, he can't even go.

 

Kyungsoo often had to take the way home alone.
 

He would talk to his shadow and tuck in his hands in his pockets until he reached their home's front steps.
 

Sadness was slowly taking over.
He was sad because he can't eat meals with Jongin, because their schedules always overlapped. 
 

Jongin goes out early and comes home very late.
 

Kyungsoo can't send him off to work with a kiss every morning, and kiss him good night when he sleeps.
 

Nights dedicated to singing and dancing were often taken over by office work.
 

Short messages scribbled on colorful notes adhered on the mirror, door, plates, cabinets, and refrigerators became their conversations.
 

But Kyungsoo understands the situation.
It is acceptable, his head says. But it hurts so bad, complains his heart that beats only for Jongin. 

One time, Jongin accidentally cut his finger while he was at work which pushed him go to the washroom.
While scouring his pinky, he got a chance to stare at the mirror.
 

He didn't mind getting doused by the water specking all over the flaps of his suit.
 

He saw not himself, but Kyungsoo, smiling innocently at him, just like how he does after his performances, and calling his name.
 

Jongin rubbed his eyes and loosened up his tie as he got a grip of the counter's edges. He looked down and closed his eyes.
 

Something isn't right.
Jongin knew that something was not right between him and Kyungsoo.
 

He realized that their time together is becoming very rare, that he was so drawn into work the past weeks, months in fact.
He wanted to make things up for Kyungsoo.

Jongin purchased a bouquet of roses at the flower shop before going home.
 

He looked at his watch. It's 11pm. Kyungsoo is probably at home now, he thought.
 

Jongin carefully twisted the door knob. The lights were off.
Disappointment was obvious in his reaction.
 

Cautious about making noise, Jongin went upstairs to check on Kyungsoo.
 

Kyungsoo was sound asleep, like an angel, hugging Jongin's pillow.
 

Jongin sat beside Kyungsoo.
I miss you.
 

He brushed his long fingers through Kyungsoo's fine hair carefully.
I love you.
 

He planted a kiss on Kyungsoo's forehead.
 

Feeling the presence of his love, Kyungsoo slowly opened his eyes and sighted a familiar silhouette.
One he's been missing.
 

When Kyungsoo got a clear view of Jongin's figure, his heart-shaped lips automatically curved and his face lit up, taking away every bit of sleepiness.

"Hey" Kyungsoo said with a weak voice as he rubbed his eyes.
 

"sorry I woke you up. You can go to sleep again. good night." Jongin didn't want to interupt Kyungsoo's sleep.
 

"No, now that you're here and I''m awake, I want to have some quality time with you." said Kyungsoo who got up, held Jongin's hand and headed to the dining area.

"What do you want to eat?" Kyungsoo asked while reaching for a pot.
 

"You know, I've been craving for ramen for a while now." Jongin cheerfully uttered as he prepared the sofa, and inserted a disk on the player.
 

"Noodles? Bingo, we have one left." Kyungsoo chuckled.

While waiting, the two sat down on the sofa and turn the TV on.
 

After a few minutes, Kyunsoo was about to check on their food, but as he stood up, he felt a sudden intense headache.
Jongin managed to catch him before he crashed down.
 

"Is everything alright?" Jongin worriedly asked.
 

"Yes, I'm fine now. Don't worry. Maybe it's because I'm not used to staying up this late. Can you please check the ramen for me?" Kyungsoo said while rubbing his temples with closed eyes.

"You sure? We can go-" 
Kyungsoo hissed. "It's just a headache. There's nothing to worry about. Just go check the ramen before we are left with no options but to eat overcooked noodles." 
 

Still worried, Jongin quickly checked the ramen and placed it on the table in the living room where Kyungsoo was.
 

11:30pm. It's not our first time to stay up this late.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jongin asked for the third time, blowing on the hot noodles.
 

"Did I make you worry that much? I'm sorry." Kyungsoo felt sorry for making Jongin worry too much with just a mere headache.
 

He gave Jongin a peck on the cheek before they started eating.
Kyungsoo noticed the brown thing taped around Jongin's finger.
 

"What happened?" Kyungsoo immediately got a look on Jongin's wound.
 

"It's nothing, just a cut. See?" Jongin told Kyungsoo to rest assure and even moved his finger and smiled.
 

"Even if it's just a cut, you have to treat it properly. Putting a band aid won't do. Wait here." Kyungsoo headed to their room to get the first aid kit.
 

When he got back, he treated Jongin's wound.
"Promise me to take care of your self more, okay?"
 

"You remind me of my mom" Jongin cheerfully said.
 

"And this, is from me." Jongin cutely presented the bouquet of flowers to Kyungsoo, who was obviously touched by Jongin's act.
 

"Thank you. I love you, Kim Jongin." Kyungsoo kissed the corner of Jongin's lips.
 

He then rested his head on Jongin's shoulder, holding the flowers he just received.
Jongin wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo, giving warmth in a cold night.
"I love you more, Do Kyungsoo.I have, I do, and I always will. I'm sorry we don't have much time to be together now like before." Jongin pecked Kyungsoo's forehead and sighed.

The two watched the melodramatic movie.
 

There they were, leaning on each other like in the movies. A perfect picture of a lovely couple.
 

Once again, they made each other feel that nothing has changed, not even a single bit, that they are not estranged. Witnessed by the stars, the love they had regain its strength.

-------------

Days passed once again like how the wind gushed beneath the wings of the joyfully chirping birds.
It started to get colder, and snow started to fall.

Jongin continued making things up for Kyungsoo.
He tried hard to attend Kyungsoo's performances more often, which made Kyungsoo more motivated to sing perfectly. But, not as often as daily.
 

Fate was persistent in testing them.

Business trips went on the way.
Jongin had to travel to different countries. Nevertheless, he did not fail to buy something for Kyungsoo as he goes back to Korea, to their home, to where his love is.
 

Doors started to open for Kyungsoo, on the other hand.
 

A record producer happened to be one of Kyungsoo's viewers on one of his performances.
He was allured by Kyungsoo's voice, and so he handad Kyungsoo his calling card, and told him to call if he wanted the conract signed.
 

Do Kyungsoo was certain about rejecting the great offer, at first.
He didn't want to lessen the time he and Jongin have for each other, and besides, he was already contented with performing in the bar.
 

But he witnessed how Jongin struggled everyday so they can have enough bonding time, to the point that he does not even have time to rest.
He was hurt becaus he felt that he was pushing Jongin too much. 
 

Having second thoughts, Kyungsoo contacted the record producer.

----------

"I have two things to tell you, and I bet you'll be surprised." Kyungsoo started the conversation with a delighted but slightly nervous face as they ate their dinner on a freezing Sunday night.

"That seems exciting. Go on" Jongin even paused eating to hear Kyungsoo's surprise.
 

"I'm going to record an album tomorrow." Kyungsoo was able to relax when he finally got to say it.
 

"That's..That's good. I'm happy for you. Congratulations. You deserve a break." Jongin congratulated Kyungsoo, but to Kyungsoo, it seemed that happiness is not the right word to elucidate Jongin's reaction.

"Well, you don't seem very happy." Kyungsoo held Jongin's chin and had looked straight into his eyes. "Just tell me if you don't want me to go. I won't go if you tell me to." Kuyngsoo addded.

"It's just that I'm afraid that someday we won't be able to see each other even once a day." Jongin looked down.
 

"I won't let that happen, and I'm sure you won't too, right?" Kyungsoo smiled.
 

"Of course I won't" Jongin assured.
 

"I also have something to tell you." Jongin said with a dejected aura.
 

"Another business trip?" Kyungsoo played with his fork and seemed to be a bit sad too.
Jongin's sigh expressed a sad yes. He rubbed his temples.
 

"Don't push yourself too much. Okay? Have some rest." Kyungsoo held Jongin's hand and gave him a heart-melting look.
 

"Thank  you for understanding. I love you." Jongin held Kyungsoo's hand with both hands and squeezed it lightly. "What's the other thing you wanted to tell me?" asked.
 

"Ah. Nevermind that. It's nothing important. I'll just tell you after your business trip so you won't have to think about it. Shall we continue with our meal?" Kuyngsoo offered.

Nothing important.
Those words kept echoing in Jongin's mind. Somehow between those words made Jongin's heart gnaw without a definite reason. 

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The day Kyungsoo started recording, same day with Jongin's eleventh out of the country trip for the year, was the day everything formally began.

-----------

Not expecting the fans' great response to Kyungsoo's first album, his simple days was filled up with busy schedules - studio recordings, show appearances, commercials, concerts, and many, many more.

Jongin's unchanging daily work routine did not help their relationship either.
 

After two and a half years, Jongin and Kyungsoo was still able to cope up with their slipping relationship.
Sometimes, they would agree to have a day off on the same day, but work won't let them off. Calls from Jongin's office would often interrupt their moment.
 

As often as not, their supposed to be bonding day would become a half working day for Jongin, which often leaves Kyungsoo lonesome. 

------------

As young stars started to take place in the industry, Kyungsoo's schedule began to be free again.
 

He realized how he missed cleaning and organizing their home, preparing food for him and Jongin, and spend even a short time with the love of his life.
 

So one free day, he cleaned every corner of their home, wanting to surprise Jongin.
 

No changes took place in Jongin's schedule, in fact, he got even more busy.
 

"Welcome home." Kyungsoo greeted Jongin who looked startled.
 

Jongin spoke no word, and immediately hugged Kyungsoo.
 

"Woah, I miss you too." Kyungsoo's face lit up as he caressed Jongin's back.
 

They did not need to speak any word to let each other realize how much they miss each..

------

Do Kyungsoo is driving his way to the airport to fetch Kim Jongin. 
 

This business trip is considered to be the longest one, which lasted for a week and a half.
 

He misses Jongin badly. Jongin feels the same especially when he observes the fleecy clouds.
 

When Kyungsoo sighted a familiar figure coming out from the arrival area, he smiled.
 

A warm hug was Kyungsoo's welcome back to Jongin.
 

The two agreed to have an out of town vacation for three days-no office calls, no other disturbances, just the two of them.
 

They traveled for 4 hours to reach the vacation house Kyungsoo rented.
 

The road they have taken gave them a hint of what was waiting for them.
 

When they reached the place, Kyungsoo excitingly opened the main door and headed to the balcony.
The house is simply flawless. A bit old style, but beautifully made and furnished.
The trees neighboring the house sifted the howling winds, and made gushing sound which triggered Kyungsoo's excitement..
 

Jongin was left to carry all their luggages. Instead of complaining, he tittered.

Upon fixing their things, Jongin checked on Kyungsoo.
 

He was there, staring at the filtered rays of the blurry sun setting, mixing a drop of warmth with the coldness of the afternoon.
Kyungsoo closed his eyes. Jongin looked at him with amazement.
 

Without knowing Jongin's presence, Kyungsoo thought of what he used to do before he met Jongin, to let the sun's minimal warmth penetrate through his chilled skin amidst the falling snow, and wish.

Please give me even just a little bit more...time, with Jongin. That's all I ask.

Kyungsoo muttered to himself. Jongin saw Kyungsoo's lips move, but wasn't able to recognize what he said.
Jongin wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo.
 

"Let's eat. I'm hungry." Jongin tickled Kyungsoo's ear.
Kyungsoo smiled, and they made their way back inside.

"Do you have any plans during our stay here?" Jongin stated before taking a bite of his food.
"Not really. How about you?" Kyungsoo replied.
 

Jongin shrugged his shoulders.
 

"Let's just decide depending on what we feel doing tomorrow." Kyungsoo smiled.
 

"Sure. Wait, remember the thing you wanted to tell me before I went on my recent trip?" Jongin throwed back.
 

Kyungsoo was still.
His heart started to thump, getting louder with every pulse.
 

"I...Actually-"
 

Jongin's phone rang, interrupting Kyungsoo's confession.
He did not seem like he was aware of his phone intervening their conversation and waited for Kyungsoo to continue what he was saying.
 

"Are you not going to answer your phone?" Kyungsoo tried asking.
 

"No office calls, remember?" Jongin said in reply.
 

"Right. I just wanted to inform you that I'm going to work in the bar again, but only on weekdays."
 

"Well, I think that's great. And you know, I noticed that you've lost a lot of weight since you got popular, so you'll have to gain weight again. Okay? I miss your plump cheeks." Jongin was totally happy with what he just heard.

 

Kyungsoo was about to smile, but a pain piercing through his delicate chest made him stop.
He held his chest, his breathing became heavy.
 

"Kyungsoo, are you okay?" Jongin panicked while trying to support Kyungsoo's back.
 

The pain was evanescent.
 

"It's gone now." Kyungsoo sighed with relief.
 

He looked at Jongin.
 

Instead of a solace expression, Jongin's face was more of asking an unknown question.
 

"I'm fine. I..We're just tired. Let's rest after this." Kyungsoo held Jongin's hand.
That warm touch Jongin can't imagine living without, melted his fret away.

During their first night in their vacation house, the couple decided to watch their favorite drama.

Kyungsoo was the one staring at Jongin this time.
 

Can i still be with you?
Will you still accept me?
Those kinds of things kept running on Kyungsoo's tired mind.
 

He tried to shake off those negative thoughts and rested his head on Jongin's shoulder as they continued to watch.
 

Noisy cars racing at the streets and teens yelling was not present in the place where they was, allowing them to enjoy the silent atmosphere.

The next morning, Kyungsoo decided to be Jongin's alarm clock.
He sang with his sweet perfect voice while caressing Jongin's face.
 

Jongin, before even seeing who was singing and touching his face, already smiled.
 

"Good morning." Jongin greeted.
 

"Rise and shine Mr. Kim Jongin, we've got a bucket list of things to do today." the thrilled Kyungsoo said.
 

After washing up, the two decided to roam around the small town hoping to discover new things.
 

They were not disappointed.
 

The town's park had swings and slides, filled with children playing like there's no end to it.
They snow was thick, which gave them the idea of having a snow fight with the kids.
The street shops got many new things, cheaper than those in Myeong-dong.
The street foods taste new to them, but in an enticing way. 
The building were high enough to view the whole beauty of the town's landscape.
 

For once, it seemed like they were Kyungsoo and Jongin back then, playing like problems did not exist even in dictionaries.

Feeling exhausted, especially Kyungsoo, they went back to their vacation house.
 

Jongin was taking the first step of the stairs when he heard a loud bam.
He rushed to their room where Kyungsoo was. He didn't know what to expect, but was sure of one thing-it's Kyungsoo.
 

And yes, Kyungsoo was there, lying down on bare floor, unconscious.
 

The sudden odd situation worried Jongin.
 

He couldn't arrange his thoughts, and his body was numb.
What's happening?
 

He carried Kyungsoo and laid him on the bed.
 

He tried to regain Kyungsoo's consiousness, but there was no response.
 

Jongin tried to calm himself.
He called their private doctor.
 

"I'll come over as fast as I can." The doctor's words made Jongin worry even more.
Is there something I am not aware of? 
 

The doctor checked on Kyungsoo immediately as soon as he reached their place.

Jongin, who haven't slept yet, can't bear his nervousness waiting to have a word with the doctor. 
He swinged back and forth along the house's wooden corridor.
Finally, the doctor came out.
 

"I suggest you bring him to the hospital first thing tomorrow."
 

"Hospital? why? is there something wrong?" Jongin was confused.
 

"He hasn't mentioned it to you yet?" the doctor asked with a concerned voice.
 

"Don't go around circles, Doc. Just please, tell me what's happening to him." Jongin anxiously pleaded.
 

"He said it will be better if this comes from him. But I think it's time for you to know." the doctor held Jongin's shoulder firmly.
 

"Know what?" Jongin is holding his tears back.
 

"Kyungsoo has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I wanted to inform you but he asked me not to, and he will be the one to tell you."
Jongin became even more baffled.
 

"hyper-what? what does that mean?"
 

"hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. It happens when the heart muscle grows too thick, so the heart gets bigger and its chambers get smaller."
 

"I really don't understand. But I'm sure there's something we can do about it, right?" Jongin was holding on to that tiny bit of hope.
The doctor could not respond immediately.
 

"Our only option is a heart transplant."
Jongin's heart sank. Heart transplant? 
 

"You're going to change his heart?" an absurd question, but Jongin was serious.
 

"After we get a heart donor. Tomorrow we are expecting a good news from the heart transplant center."
Jongin can't take any more of it.
He sat down.
 

"But Kyungsoo...He refuses to do the surgery."
 

"What?" Jongin did not like what he just heard.
It's the only thing that can give him more time, so why on earth would he decline?
 

"Kyungsoo does not want to undergo the transplant. He said he is afraid that it might not beat the same as before after the transplant has been done."
 

"That's unacceptable!" Jongin cannot hold his tears back anymore. The penetrating pain, he just can't stand it.
 

"That's why I'm telling it to you right now, so you can convince him do the transplant." the doctor gave Jongin hope.
Can I? What if Kyungsoo's right, that after the transplant, his heart won't beat the same anymore? Can I accept it?
 

"But ho..how? when did this began?"
 

"Quite some time now. It was before he started recording. For Kyungsoo's case, the cause is unknown."
 

"Before he started recording? He was in pain for a very long time now yet he didn't tell me?" Jongin was frustrated.
 

"You have to be strong, for you, for Kyungsoo, for the love you have for each other."
 

The doctor headed back to Seoul, leaving Jongin and Kyungsoo alone in the house.
 

Drifting time to talk to Kyungsoo, Jongin tried hard to take note of everything the doctor told him about the things that may happen to Kyungsoo.
The pain he might experience, how he can get tired easily, pounding heartbeats, being dizzy.
Taking note of Kyungsoo's medical needs, different thoughts played in Jongin's mind.
 

After the transplant, will they be able to live normally like before?

Jongin can't find the right words for Kyungsoo. He doesn't even know if he can look at him.
 

Just thinking of how much pain Kyungsoo must have kept inside him makes his heart shatter into gazillion pieces.
 

But Jongin tried to compose himself.
 

Twisting the doorknob, Jongin glimpsed at Kyungsoo, who is now awake and staring at the blue.
 

"Why did you not tell me?" Jongin coldly asks, as he pockets his hand.
Kyungsoo was surprised, but he just made a small smile.
 

"What? Are you just going to smile again, like everything is fine? Like pain is not killing you?" Jongin's voice is starting to amplify.
 

"I'm..fine.." Kyungsoo looked down, lying once again.
 

"Fine? The doctor said you'll have to undergo a heart transplant and you're saying that you're fine?! Why did you not tell me?" He can't hold it back. Jongin is so miserable.

Kyungsoo was startled.
He stared at the open window with dancing curtains led by the winds, and gulped.
 

"I won't do the transplant." Kyungsoo simply said.
 

"Have you gone mad? It's our only option!" Jongin stood up and scolded.
 

"No it's not! It is either we do the transplant or not!" Kyungsoo argued.
 

"If you don't do the transplant, Kyungsoo, you'll-"
 

"Die? So what if I'm going to die? I will still do even if I agree to undergo the transplant! We all will!" Kyungsoo's tear-filled eyes gave up as he gazed at Jongin. 

"As long as I have you by my side, and be able to feel your love for me, to die would mean nothing but a working day for you, and a rest day for me. It's as simple as that, Jongin." his voice cracked.

"So you will give up just like that?" Jongin lowered his voice and sighed heavily.

 

"I'm not giving up, Jongin. I just don't want to have false hopes that after they change my heart to somebody else's, everything will be alright as if nothing big happened." Kyungsoo tried to let Jongin understand the thing even to him is still unclear.

Jongin pitched against the plain lonely wall, head held high, closed eyes.
 

"It hurts to see you in great pain." he mumbled, wrinkling his forehead and biting his lips until they turned red.
Kyungsoo ventured relying on his feet, but dizziness came over.
He did not want Jongin to notice him wobble, so he stayed static in his position.
I'm sorry.
 

"Kyungsoo, can you please do it, not for me, but for yourself?" Jongin is desperate.
 

"I'm nothing without you."
 

"Can you be selfish even just this one time?"
 

"I can't."
 

"Why not?"
 

"Because everytime I think of it, I feel that unacceptable feeling of sadness mixed with fear."
 

"That's why I'm here, to stay by your side no matter what happens. We promised each other, remember?" Jongin showed his finger wearing the symbol of their love and promises.
 

"Please do it. I can't imagine myself without you Kyungsoo. You're everything to me." Jongin added, clasping Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo tried to fortify his feelings.
 

"Okay, I'll do it." Kyungsoo swallowed his fear, but a portion of it stayed.
For you. Kyungsoo silently added. 
 

The following morning, Jongin insisted to go back to Seoul, just like what the doctor suggested.
Kyungsoo did argue no more.

------------

Stood before the hospital doors, Jongin held Kyungsoo's hand.
 

Kyungsoo was fearful, and yes, Jongin too.
 

But the two did not step back and went in.
 

After some two hours of mutiple tests, the doctor said Kyungsoo has to stay in the hospital.
The good reason is that they've found a donor heart.
 

Jongin and the doctor conversed about things needed before, during, and after the transplant.
But Jongin's mind could not centralize his mind to what the doctor is babbling about.
 

His mind is occupied with thoughts about Kyungsoo.

After their discussion, Jongin tried to reach a friend by call.
 

"Jongin?" a deep voice he misses gave him a touch of joy along the sad long road he is taking right now.
 

"Hyung." he smiled.
Upon hearing the current situation, his friend said that they'll go over as soon as possible.
 

"Thank you hyung."
 

"It's nothing Jongin. We're brothers by feelings, remember?" 
At times like this, having an affable friend can be the best one to have.

-----------

Jongin entered Kyungsoo's room.
 

Kyungsoo, like nothing's wrong, was laughing contagiously at what he was watching.
 

Jongin slanted to the wooden door and had a good look at Kyungsoo-his white skin, his petite size, his heart-shaped lips, his cute nose, his eyes that needed no words to speak.

Jongin loved everything about Kyungsoo. He loved Kyungsoo. And he was afraid of losing him.
 

He went near Kyungsoo and kissed him on the forehead out of the blue.
Kyungsoo was surprised yet he smiled.

A wrecking knock frightened the two.
Between the open door's casing was a tall figure after the shorter one.
It's them.
 

"Hyung?" Kyungsoo recognized them.
 

"Hey Pororo!" Chanyeol teased Kyungsoo and received an elbow punch from Baekhyun.
 

"Is that how you greet people nowadays?" Kyungsoo went along with the joke and they all bursted with laughter.
 

"But how did you know that we're- Jongin told you?"
The two acted innocently and simply nodded.
 

Kyungsoo glared at Jongin.
 

"What?" Jongin was acting like he did nothing.
"Okay. I told them. But I just told them about what's happening, not come all the way here. You're killing me with your creepy look again!" Jongin confessed.
 

"You didn't have to."
 

"Are we having this conversation again?" Jongin ended.
 

"Kyungsoo, don't bully Jongin like how you used to bully me!" Baekhyun joked again.
 

"That was not bully back then, it was revenge." Kyungsoo's evil self said.
 

"Was it bully when you tried to hit me many times too?" Chanyeol butted in.
 

The four had a wonderful time together even though things around them-white closed walls, low ceiling, neatly dressed persons, medicines-was not the ones they are used to.

Everyone zipped their mouths when the doctor came in.
"Good evening everyone. Looks like we're having a good time, aren't we?" The doctor smiled.
 

The way everyone acted when the doctor was around seemed like he was sme kind of a dean.
 

"Oh no, I don't bite." The doctor said as he saw tension on their faces. "I'm here just to check whether Kyungsoo is feeling anything weird, dizzy, chest pains, palpitations."
 

 

Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders politely.
"Well then, the transplant won't be delayed if your good condition continues until tomorrow night."
 

"Tomorrow night? You mean the day after tomorrow is the scheduled transplant?" Kyungsoo's fright came back.
 

"The earlier, the better."
Kyungsoo was still frozen.
 

"Don't worry, everything will be okay after the transplant."  The doctor tried to convince Kyungsoo and the others.
 

"I shall be leaving you now. Don't forget your medicines Kyungsoo, okay? Have a good rest everyone."
 

They were able to go ack to their witty selves when the doctor left.
 

Kyungsoo couldn't believe that in two days, the heart inside him would be changed.
 

"Don't worry. We will be keeping your heart and love with us." Chanyeol tried to lighten up the mood.
 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun insisted to stay for a week with them, and they won.
Since Jongin had to go to work the following day, he had to go home.
 

Jongin wanted to stay as well, but Kyungsoo pushed him to, reasoning that they still have tomorrow night and forever to be together.

--------------------------

Kyungsoo woke up with the cool breeze fondling his cheeks.
 

He wandered his eyes up, down, both side ways.  
 

This is not the morning view Kyungsoo wanted to see before they change his heart.
 

He yearns for the owner of his stupid heart.
 

Hearing his pleading heart, Kyungsoo seeked Baekhyun and Chanyeol's help to go out and surprise Jongin.
 

They couldn't decline, the doctor too, so he allowed them to go.
 

Kyungsoo prepared a packed lunch for Jongin.
He knows how stressful and busy Jongin is, so he wanted to do something for him.
 

Kyungsoo was excited about it.
 

When they reached Jongin's office, Chanyeol checked whether he Jongin is inside.
Yes he is.
 

Instead of shouting surprise, they quietly went in.
 

Jongin was stunned.
"You really didn't have to do this." Jongin prepared the sofa for the three.
 

"well, it was his idea." Chanyeol and Baekhyun pointed at Kyungsoo.
 

"I just wanted to surprise you."
 

"Well, you naver fail to." Jongin sat beside Kyungsoo and kissed him on the forehead.
 

The four ate the food Kyungsoo prepared.
They were happy, but an invisible part of their smiling faces was petrified.
 

"I have to go now" Kyungsoo asserted and stood up, fixing his clothes.
 

"Where to?" Baekhyun asked.
 

"I have a performance tonight. I have to make it today since I wasn't able to go tomorrow." Kyungsoo cupped Jongin's face and gave him a peck on the cheek.
 

Seizing Kyungsoo, Jongin stood up and grabbed his suit from his dark-colored office chair.
 

"I'm coming." Jongin said with a delighted face.
 

"What are we waiting for? An invitation? Let's go!" Chanyeol spoke.

 

---------

The bar has changed a lot, Jongin noticed, or is it only him who haven't seen it for a long time.
 

The stage got bigger, and the lights focusing on it got brighter.
 

People was able to recognize and greet Kyungsoo, and applauded him for his magnificent voice.
 

It was Kyungsoo's turn to hold the mic.
As he took one step closer to the stage, everything that happened flash subconsciously on his mind.
 

"Good evening fellas." Kyungsoo greeted and the crowd responded with a cheer.
"Wow, it feels like I haven't been here for ages. It's good to be back." Kyungsoo's intro included. "Now, I'll be singing a song for the lovers we have here."The viewers got even more excited.

The first strum silenced the cheering crowd.
 

Their eyes were on Kyungsoo, and him only.
 

Jongin reminisced the first time he heard Kyungsoo's voice.
It creamed his frozen heart.
It always will.

Kyungsoo closed his eyes, feeling the music intently.

"I feel that I'm at a crossroads
I don't know which way to go
You say that I am changing
Into someone that you don't know
Who I am and who I'll be
Is locked inside, inside of me

And if I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend
If we break apart?
How do I make, how will you take
My change of heart?

For years you have been my bestfriend
I thought that would always be
You know that I just can't pretend
It's written all over me
'Cuz where I'll go
And what I'll do, I just can't see
My life without you

If I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend
If we break apart?
How do I make, how will you take
My change of heart?

Moving on is gonna take some time
When I'm gone, you might have
A change of mind
Gotta take the chance,
No matter what I find.

No matter how far I travel
I think of you as home
Its not about finding someone else,
Its all about being alone
Because who I am and who I'll be
Is locked inside, inside of me
'Cuz if I follow my heart
Will you still be my friend,
If we break apart?
How will I make, how will you take
My change of heart?

How will you take
My change of heart?"

Jongin was not aware that his pending tear has flowed.

Throughout the song, Kyungsoo's eyes were locked to Jongin's.

The crowd applaused, requesting for one more.
Kyungsoo satisfied the people's want and bid goodbye.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun stayed at the couple's house, for Kyungsoo had to stay in the hospital, and Jongin wanted to stay with him.

Jongin changed into a plain navy blue cotton shirt, which made him feel more comfortable than his torso fitted suit that appears to be suffocating.

 

Grabbing the sink's curved edges with one hand, he wiped the hanging mirror with his other arm, trying to remove the fog that makes his reflection blur.

The water drips from the old white faucet. The ripples echoed as if it is forever.

 

He groaned, graping his own deep seated lonely eyes. 
He stepped out of the comfort room and dusted off his bare feet on the white rug.

 

Few steps away from where Jongin, he sighted a cream tinted sheet covering the bed was taken over by Kyungsoo. 

Jongin left his heavy steel watch on the small wooden desk beside the sofa.
The icy numb tiles allowed a mild current pass through under his skin as he took a step.

 

Leaving the dim lamp, Jongin sat beside Kyungsoo on the hospital bed."Tomorrow is a big day." 
"Will you wait for me tomorrow?" Kyungsoo asked keeping his trembling voice controlled.
"Of course. I will stay by your side, tomorrow and forever." Jongin perched on the plastic headboard, crossing one leg over the other.
 

Kyungsoo curled to Jongin, making his tan arms as comfortable pillows.

Jongin shut his eyes for some seconds and snuffled.
Kyungsoo noticed Jongin's notion and stealthily looked his face.
 

The silence among the thin air was defeaning, allowing the two to discern even the tiniest sounds.

With his tender touch, Kyungsoo traced Jongin's long lashes one by one.
He counted Jongin's ribs through the layers of his clothes, like every single one is delicate enough to feel his pounding heart.
 

"lub dub. lub dub."  Kyungsoo hushed. Jongin smiled.
 

"Can you hear my heart beating for you?" the silent moon surrounded by the galaxy of stars reflected on Jongin's face.
 

"I'm sorry you won't hear mine for you." Kyungsoo seemed upset.
 

Jongin cupped Kyungsoo's face and directed towards him. "Hearing nor seeing doesn't count. As long as I can feel it beating for me, I will wear the smile you gave me for infinity."

"I'm so grateful that I met someone like you." Kyungsoo tucked his face into Jongin's neck.
 

"Not as much as how thankful I am for having you. I love you." Jongin fastened his cuddle to Kyungsoo's waist.
 

"I love you more." Kyungsoo nuzzled Jongin's face.

 

Darkness drifted the night, the pale moon was covered, and the stars changed positions as they always do.
Drowned into sleep, the two held in their hearts the same prayer needed not to be spoken.

After tonight, Will the heart beat the same once it has been changed?

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

-shiz i'm not good at these kinds of stuff! aggh!! I'm sorry if i did not meet your expectations TT_TT

-kath