I don't know when it happened,just we were roommates and suddenly I felt I'm head over heels for him.I didn't like my college, I didn't like my classmates, I didn't like my other roommates, I just care about him,I just see him.him,when he smiles,when studies, when sleeps,when eats.I can't empty my mind of him. But I could do nothing. He was older,and we were friends. But it wasn't enough for me.I wanted more but he was religious and what should I gonna do?go to him and say:"hey,Sungmin hyung, I like you more than this?"hell no! I don't want he get afar.so friendship is okay. It was exams and we had more alone times together. We were so closed and even sleep in one bed so he could make me warm and talk more. The first night none of us could sleep because wanted to make the other comfortable but as time flew we got used to each other and slept more easily. Sometimes he stirred in sleep and I talked to him but the day after he couldn't remember anything. It was so hilarious to by that. Months flew and we got more intimate. I don't know when and how but one day I felt his lips on mine.it was one of the best moment in my life.I couldn't believe, I didn't want to believe but it wasn't just that time.he sometimes came and kiss me and hugged me tight.it was so hard to not telling him I love you and he would smile and said:"me too,Kyu-ah,me too." Semester came to it's end and we separate to spend summer holidays with our families but Evey day we sent messages to each other.so much that it was like we are with each other.and I suggested we took note book and write for each other. This was the way I could tell my feelings to him without looking shy. New semester came and again we were together but more intimate. We often would kiss and he make out with me more.I wanted him so much that even I was afraid from making out,with him everything flew out of window. The important thing was him.just him. Years passed and every day we were more like a newlyweds couple. Even when he went to bathroom I would miss him and sat behind the door and counted the minutes till he came out.Yeah,I love him this much. After some years when we got apart and just called to each other one day he called and said he should meet me.I was so surprised. He would never come this long journey. So it must be so important. He came and we just hugged each other and stared to each other's eyes.God,I missed him so much! I asked about his life and if by any chance he got married. He blushed and said he is planning to.I smiled and congratulated him but I was so damn jealous. I smiled and said: "so,who's this lucky girl?"he blushed more and said: "Kyu-ah,that's, um, I want to talk about with you.I, um, I …I w-want to m-marry y-your s s-sister. " I don't know I should be happy, sad,jealous or what. The wedding was great and they looked so good together. They were so happy and had a normal life.but I missed him so much I couldn't bear. I planned something and called Sungmin: "hyung, I'm tired to live with my parents without you and noona, can I come and live you guys for a short time?"he accepted immediately. I went and saw they prepared the guest room for me. Living with them was amazing. Especially when in the middle of the night after noon went to sleep,Sungmin came to my bed and we slept together. I love my life.specially now that we are more like a new weds couple with him. I'm in love with him and always will be. But now a days I have found another love,but Sungmin is always my first and last. And my another love and niece would be second.