It’s raining. Just like that day when I left his apartment four months ago. That time I was feeling depressed and maybe slightly frustrated with my situation and so I walked away.

I walked away from the window and took a seat on the sofa I just bought last week. Laying down face first on the couch I replayed the events in my mind and found myself wondering what his reaction was… did he look for me? Did he feel sorry or did he just burn my letter and continued with his life?

Deep inside I know he most probably tried to search for me… that’s how he is and that is one of the reasons why I cut myself off his life permanently. Changing my address, phone number, resigning from my old job and only let a selected few know where I am or what I’m doing.  The reason why I left was to let him live his life and to finally allow him to do things he wanted.

You would think I would have already moved on after three months with no communication with him at all and yet here I am… thinking of him every free minute that I have alone.

I heard his new song on the radio and it was about a love unfulfilled… I cried hearing him sing the words so familiar to my heart and yet I’m proud that the man I love was able to create beautiful music that can touch the hearts of people everywhere.

I happened to watch one of his TV shows just to see his face and he looks more handsome than he did last I saw him… I guess losing me did him good. It pains me to think this but at least I know I made the right decision.

Rolling over I sighed at my now familiar ceiling, this place I now call home is a whole lot similarly designed after his place. I can’t help it though.

A deep sigh escaped my lips and I closed my eyes in self loathing… I must forget him soon…

The cartoon I was watching finished and as I was reaching the remote while my eyes were closed, I suddenly froze upon hearing my beloved's  voice. Ah it is time for the minute news… I finally reached the remote just as I heard him say that the song he wrote was for a love he let go.

A lone tear fell on my cheek and I slowly wiped it after hearing the buzz signal of the TV that it’s turning off.  Ah I can imagine the shy smile on his face as he admitted that to the world… she is one lucky girl.

The doorbell rang and I lazily stood to check who it was. It was a Saturday and I was certainly not expecting anyone right now.

.

.

.

My brows creased as I opened the door to find a single letter with no return address… I looked left and right but saw no one so I picked up the letter and slowly closed the door. It doesn’t seem harmful but I can’t help wonder who would leave me a letter in a very pristine white envelope without any indicators as to who its from.

I stood next to the window sill as I opened the letter… suspicions and doubt on my face…

“My dear (Your first name),

It’s been four months since you left my side. I’m sure you are thinking I had a party as soon as you left and I’m hurt because of that. You should know I’m not that kind of guy.

I have read your letter and wondered why you had to apologize. I’m not going to lie that I was surprised when I heard we were engaged but I didn’t exactly resisted. Did I say or do anything that made you think that way? If I did then I should be the one apologizing and not you.

I haven’t touched the box you left beside my PS3 up to this time simply because those are yours and not mine. They have memories that the both of us share even before you moved in with me three years and four months ago. I’m glad you decided to keep that silk shirt, it looks wonderful on you and that teddy bear… I would have given that to you even without you begging for it but I suppose it’s the bully in me so I just had to see your cute puppy eyes before I gave in.

You know, I never felt forced living with you all those years because you were the perfect wife material. You cleaned, you cook, and you did everything for me that I was helpless when you went away. I find myself calling for you every now and then when I need something, half expecting that you would walk out the door with a smile on your face like nothing happened. And every time I did that and hear no response, I realize how much I’ve taken your presence for granted. And for that I’m deeply sorry.

It is true that I am in love with someone and that I haven’t confessed yet. I’m going to sound lame but I’m going to admit that I got shy just thinking of the girl I love so I haven’t told her what I feel yet even though she was just close by. I think you might have misunderstood that discussion between my best bud and I. Eavesdropping is bad you know… you could have just asked me and I would have cleared that up for you. I don’t really like lying especially not to you anyway.

Also, I don’t deserve a thank you for being patient with you all the years we were together. I know you’ve suffered much because of me and I ought to apologize. I didn’t even realize I came off as rude when I was just respecting your private space. I don’t want to be the kind of guy who always hangs over his fiancée. Our manager told me girls hated guys like that and I don't want you to hate me.

Aish… I don’t write letters like this you know so consider yourself special. You made my life a living hell this past four months and the only thing that made me go on was the knowledge that you loved me enough to think of my happiness before yours. You didn’t need to leave me so I can find the girl my heart had long been in loved with.  Open the door and I’ll introduce her to you right this instant.

Yours,

(Bias' full name)

P.S. don’t make me wait outside your room door for a long time, will you? I already look stupid while holding this stuffed bear.”

Big fat tears fell from my eyes as I rushed to open the door… and there he was looking more handsome than the man in my dreams and memories…

He stood there scratching his head awkwardly with a large stuffed toy  in his arms. We looked at each other for a minute without saying anything then he handed me the toy and said, “I’ve come to take you back.”

I smiled back at him as I hugged the stuffed toy tight… I was surprised when it suddenly made a clicking noise and my beloved's voice was heard, “I love you (your full name)… you are my first and only love.”

I didn’t care that my new neighbor peeked out of her room and gave me a teasing smile, I ran out of my apartment into my perfect fiancee’s arms and whispered I love you back.

“I’m home…back in your arms…”