Eversince the incident, I’ve been having a hard time sleeping. No matter how much I rolled in bed, I keep seeing knives and black blurs. One night, it got too bad that I actually stayed awake, just sitting on our couch. The dark is eerie and I can’t seem to escape it.

                That day after I pulled an all-nighter, I unfortunately slept in class and was reprimanded by our adviser, Mr. Ryu, for slacking off when, as he said, my grades were already doing that part for me. I knew it was my bad but he didn't really have to remind me of that other thing. I’m already stressed as it is. Krystal was even kinder to comment that I’m starting to look like a zombie.

                To add more to it, Kai asked me if I was just okay and he rarely speaks! So I guess, I’m starting to be really out of it.

                I can’t help it though. I always feel tired all the time, and clumsier like all my energy's seeping out of my system.

                And now at lunch, it has become a routine for Seo Ji Hye to hang out with us.  Luhan does too, although for some reason, he just doesn't like to speak much. Still, even with this development, I just felt it surprising that his fan girls weren't bothering us, I in particular, anymore. Maybe it's because Luhan hasn't really been away since that day they locked me up in the bathroom or maybe they actually thought I’m keeping that guy, Xiumin, warned. Definitely for that latter reason, they were all wrong. To think about it now, I haven't seen that Xiumin lately. I even have to admit I can’t remember his face that well.

                Once, when we were lined up before the counter, Luhan standing behind me as usual, I saw a couple of guys fooling around. I was just thinking how immature they were acting when the first guy suddenly stood beside me as he continued to laugh and comically insult the other. Then, the other guy put his hand on his pocket and took out a pen which he threw at him. I knew it was a ballpen. I saw it clearly, but as it came closer, I started thinking that it was actually a knife. Then, suddenly, it really looked like a knife and it was rushing straight at me.

                Before I knew it, I was screaming at the top of my lungs and making dolphin sounds. I even saw some students, the ones closest to me, cover their ears tightly. I backed away and was about to run when Luhan spun me around and shook my arm.

                His eyes were wide in utter shock but I can see concern in them.

                "It’s okay,” he said soothingly. “It’s just a ballpen.”

                Krystal came over in concern, followed by Ji Hye who looked calm as ever. Luhan suddenly held out his right hand and wiped something from my cheeks. I didn’t even have time to get touched. All that was going on in my head at the time was how I didn’t notice that I was crying.

                "It’s okay…” Luhan repeated.

                But I know that it’s not okay. Unlike other girls, I don’t cry over petty things. And, I don’t easily get afraid. I don’t like screaming too. I didn’t even scream when the actual incident happened. I’m just not like that…

                And deep inside, I know Luhan knows it too.

                “Mianhae…” I sobbed. “I think I’m just going back to our classroom and clear my head…”

                “I’m coming with you,” he offered.

                “No,” I quickly said. “I want to be alone for now…”

                Luhan didn’t look satisfied with my resolve but he still let me walk back on my own. When I reached the classroom, I realized that I’m not going to get my alone time. Kai was there and he was looking at me like that time he asked if I was just okay.

                 When we had eye contact, I just acted like I didn’t notice his expression, then went straight to my seat to put my head down on the desk. 

               As it has been in the previous days, I felt completely tired. I just want to skip classes. I looked at my wrist watch and saw that I still have 30 minutes before duire practicals class starts. I closed my eyes, wishing that I would have a good nap for once.  

                Before I slipped into complete unconsciousness, I heard Kai humming a sweet, soft tune.

                By Wednesday, a week after the incident, I was called to the faculty to report to the head council what exactly happened. I thought that it was a bit too late for such an inquiry, but Mr. Ryu explained to me how they considered  it would do me better to rest my mind a