I woke up with a jolt as another nightmare disturbed my sleep. Not that I usually get much sleep anyway. I sat up on my bed and reached out to the bedside table to get myself a glass of water.

I could see my mother lying on a mat on the floor. Though she was asleep, I knew she wasn't as comfortable as she would be on her own bed. Seeing her image brought tears to my eyes. She's probably afraid I might try to do something to hurt myself again. No wonder she'd think that, after what happened yesterday.

I could feel my throat tightening. I gulped down the water and lay back on my bed. I pulled my quilt over my head and pressed my bandaged wrist to my mouth. I silently cried through the night until I finally fell asleep.

Next morning I woke up late. I knew I wouldn't be going to school. I got ready for the day and went down to the dining room for breakfast. My mom was there. But surprising me, my dad was also there. Didn't he have to go to work?

I silently sat down and picked up my chopsticks. Though I had no appetite, I put a little amount of rice in my mouth and chewed slowly. I could feel both my parents' eyes on me. As I finished my first bite, my dad spoke.

"Ji Hee-ah."

"Hm?" I said to let him know that I'm listening. I was afraid he'd bring up yesterday's events.

"Your mother and I decided to move from Seoul," he said. "We both think it would be good for you."

I was shocked and relieved to hear this news. Shocked because I never saw it coming and relieved because it wasn't about yesterday.

"We've already talked to your school. You'll be transferring to a school there. You can start afresh. You can begin your life anew, Ji Hee-ah."

"Okay," I said. "Where are we going?"

"Gwangju," my mom replied this time.

"Okay." I didn't know much about that city. But I knew it was far away from Seoul. "What about your job?" I asked dad.

"I managed to get a transfer to Gwangju."

"Okay," I said. I had completely lost my appetite now. "I'm full," I said getting up, though I barely ate anything. I gulped down some water and went up to my room. I closed my door and turned up my radio.

The next few days were busy. Mom was always packing and dad was always out dealing with some paperwork. I wanted to help mom, but she didn't let me because I hadn't regained my full strength yet.

So I stayed in my room and thought about Gwangju. Would it really be a good thing to move there? Would it help me? I knew no one could answer that question. I had to find out myself. I was afraid of one thing though. I was afraid of going to school. I knew I had to, but I didn't want to. Would that school be the same as this? That was the thing I dreaded most about moving.

Finally, it was that day. Everything was packed and ready to go. My dad had hired a van for us to go. It would be a long ride. I loved long rides. I loved opening the shutters and poking my head outside to feel the cold breeze hit my face. So I was fine with the long ride.

I got in the van, went to the very back of it and sat near the shutter sliding it wide open. Mom and dad got in and the driver started the engine. Both mom and dad looked back as we were leaving the place, but I didn't. I had nothing to leave behind. I didn't have any friends or anything else I cared about in Seoul. All I had were bad memories. And I was more than glad to leave them behind.